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I am 16 and don’t wanna deal with my parents anymore I want to get out of this house and be happy. They always put me down and expect me to do everything. How would I be able to get out of my house soon like today.
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Hi there,
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or you can chat with us via our chatroom at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We are here for you and look forward to hearing from you.
All the best,
NRS
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okay so im 16 and im tired of living in my home because i get verbally abused and treated like im nothing so i want to look forward to emancipated myself im in new yorkComment
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Hi there,
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS. It sounds like there is a lot that you are facing at home and you are thinking about leaving. We want you to know that by no means do you deserve any type of abuse. You are not alone in this and we are here to help as much as possible.
You mentioned that you are wanting to know more about emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not. Unfortunately New York is a state that does not have a formal emancipation statute, although the court might recognize emancipation in certain circumstances. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses.
Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
NRS
1-800-786-2929; 1800runaway.org
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I'm 16 I currently live in new york state, me and my mother have had problems since I was young my mother has told me to kill myself and she has told me to leave her house my mom threats to put me in a residential group home many time because she doesn't like my boyfriend me and him have been on and off since I was 12 and he was 13 I can't take living with my mother any more I have thought about calling cps before but I have little sisters & an older sister and my mom only that gets verbally and physically abused. I was wondering If I wanted to move out without permission can I without the cops coming and getting me? his family is willing to take me in while we and him finish high school. and get on our feet I've done research and I saw that I can but I wanted to make sureComment
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Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you did.
It sounds like things have been pretty tough between you and your mom, and we're sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, moving out without parental consent is situational and complex. Because we have no idea how your mom might respond, it's important to be aware of some of the issues that could arise in you leaving home without consent. While it doesn't look like your state has specific laws on harboring a runaway, it might still be considered a crime for your boyfriend's family to let you stay with them without consent. The best way to determine if that could be an issue or not is to consult with a legal professional. And even with that, it IS possible that if the police became involved, they could come get you and take you back home.
While it's not super clear what sort of abuse is going on at home, because you mentioned filing a report with CPS, we did want to take a moment to comment on that as well. A lot of people tend to think that CPS will swoop in and remove children from their homes once an allegation of abuse has been made, and that's rarely the case. One of their primary goals is to keep families together, assessing situations and putting measures in place to ensure children are safe and to address whatever the main issues are in the family. That might mean implementing therapy, case management, anger management, or various other supports. Now if the children in the home are in imminent danger, they might remove them from the home, but that still doesn't mean they're going to remove every child (especially if they aren't the ones being abused). If you want to learn more about CPS, what they do, or talk over some potential scenarios, you can reach out to Childhelp. They're a child abuse hotline and you can reach out to them by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them live at www.childhelp.org.
If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on, continue to explore some options, or see if we can connect you with local referrals, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.
Take care.
NRS
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hi, I am a 17-year-old living with my parents in New York. I am looking to leave my parents home when I turn 18 in June. I am reaching out because I want to make sure it's a legal thing I could do without the police interfering.Comment
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It takes courage to reach out and we are so glad that you decided to reach out to us.
We are not legal experts but in most states the legal age to leave home is 18 years old. So most likely if you left at 18 even without permission the police would not be involved. You can always call your local police department to find out the legal age to leave home in your state.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are available 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS
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I am 16 years old and I live in New York. My family has pushed me to the point of wanting to commit suicide. I constantly am told I am unwanted and useless but then as soon as I go to leave They call me disrespectful, take away all my privileges(phone,seeing friends,being in my room, sleeping in, privacy in general), call me untrustworthy and then THEY will tell ME that I hate them and that I am a brat. Every time I leave they threaten to call the cops if I do not return home. I need to be emancipated but I do not know how to without parental consent. I have a job, a car That I paid in full by myself, and my friends parents gave me permission to live at their home. Currently, my friend and I are both Juniors at the same high school and I would be able to finish my senior year with her, so receiving an education is not a problem. I make $200-$300 a week at my job but my parents will not allow me to take on any more hours. If i were to be emancipated I would work more hours and would make around $500-$700 a week. With the current pay I receive now, I can afford my monthly car insurance ($265) and with budgeting I still have enough money for food, clothing, emergency funds, car maintenance, etc.. I have 2 bank accounts one checking and one savings but they are both jr accounts so I do not know If I would lose them If I were to be emancipated. But the real problem is with my siblings. They are 4 and 10 so I cannot file a child abuse case or anything like that because they will be taken away from my parents. I turn 17 in 4 months and I could get married to my boyfriend to become legally emancipated but I believe I would still need a parent's consent. So in other words I have no way of escaping except emancipation without parental consent. Please help point me in the right direction.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. It is also important to know that CPS treats each child in the home as an individual case since abuse doesn’t always get distributed equally so it if your siblings are not being abused they are unlikely to also be removed.
Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. New York appears to have no general statute so it might be even harder. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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So I'm Turning 15 soon And i Just fell lost. I want to Live on my own so bad Just to explore the rest of the world my Mom on the other hand keeps trying to force her religion on me and wants me to take after her but i want to be my own person and become a model in New York but she doesnt approve i just feel like she doesnt understand me sometimes i just want to move by my self and leave this little town find an aparment in new york and work on my dream but im 15 so i cant i dont know what to do- sincerly Big DreamsComment
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Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you feel like your mom doesn't understand you and your dreams and that she wants you to follow her religion, but that doesn't feel right for you. It is understandable to struggle and to work towards being your own person. That will happen, because you are your own person.
We would really like to talk with you further about all of this and about your dreams. You can chat us through this website or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here for you 24/7 and we hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS
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Good afternoon "NRS", I'm 16 year old female living in a household with my brother and mother. My mother has sole custody over me and my brother since young. She has on countless accounts been controlling to my life, in points where I believe I should control. These areas include how I express myself... Spiritually, in clothing, and in even at times in my own sexuality. She has made me uncomfortable and put me with unnecessary disadvantages. I have been homeless for the past few months until recently. I have been from house to house between my two different family members. Now that I'm in a household alone with my mother again, things has slowly increased to more and more toxicity. I prefer to live with my grandparents in FL, but at the moment I live in NY which is extremely far. I wanted to look into emancipating myself or finding a peaceful way to give my grandparents sole custody of myself. I in no way want to jeopardize my mother's custody with my brother, or my grandparents' and mother's relationship. I have a stable household (My grandparents home) but not a stable job/ or income due to my mother's vindictive tactics. She has/now occasionally takes my phone and/or PC to limit communication when the mood hits her. I don't know the first thing to go about this process, or how to keep it private. I am in need of some serious advice for my mental and physical well being.
Sincerely,
K.S
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Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been having a difficult time lately with everything that has been going on at home and we are here to help the best we can.
We are not legal experts here, but the emancipation process can take a long time and there are costs associated with this process. . We can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually, your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.
It sounds like you want to stay with your grandparents, but have concerns. Generally speaking, if you leave before the age of 18, your legal guardians would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they would just bring you back home. It is great that you are reaching out and trying to review all your options. Have you spoken to your grandparents about the situation?
We’re really glad that you contacted us, and we hope that this has been helpful. Please chat or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to talk further and explore your possible options, we’re here to support you.
Best of luck,
NRS
Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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I’m currently 15 years old and I live with my mother who is not mentally or physically capable to support children. She has a boyfriend who does nothing my make sexually comments toward my sister and I. She treats my sister and I like we’re nothing and that the only reason we’re in her house is because she’s need the child support from my father who isn’t in the picture. I have people to take care of me and a stable living environment that I’ve already been offered. I can’t file for a conjunction on a new case because I don’t have anyone who would open one. I just really need help and I need to get away from the person who treats me like I’m never good enough and threatens me every time I turn around. She also threaten to knock my teeth out none stop and to put my under house arrest so I’m never able to leave. I don’t have a life because she refuses to let me have friends and she threatens everyone who try’s to tell her she’s wrong.Comment
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Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to ask for support, and we will do our best to help you. You mentioned that your mom has threatened you and that her boyfriend makes sexual comments towards you and your sister – please know that this is not okay. You deserve to be treated kindly and with respect.
You mentioned that you have been offered a stable living environment in a different location. We are not legal experts, but will do our best to help you. This is some information that we found about emancipation in your state: “In the state of New York, emancipation is referred to as “the renunciation of parental rights to a child.” Although New York does not have a formal statute for acquiring emancipation, the minor can acquire emancipation if they are legally married, is in the armed services, is able to establish an independent home, or if the parents have failed to fill their parental obligations.” A couple resources that might be able to help you further are: BROOKHAVEN YOUTH BUREAU: (631) 451-8011 and DUTCHESS CO. YOUTH SERVICES: (845) 486-3665. These resources may be able to provide more specific legal guidance.
We care about you and your safety. If you would like to chat with us further about your specific situation, we are available 24/7 via phone or chat. Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and our website to chat is https://www.1800runaway.org/.
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I’m 15 and my mom died when I was 6, and my dad kicked me out to live with my aunt and uncle. My uncle is very religious and I am not. We don’t share the same values and my lifestyle is one they don’t like. I’d like to get emancipated when I’m 16, and I have a job. I live in New York, is there anything I could do?Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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