Hi there,
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent or guardians permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to them. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern.
Though we understand you might not want to get them involved we wanted to mention it as an option. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to speak more about your situation please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org (Live chat).
If you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Take care and be safe,
NRS
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16 Year Old wants to move out/emancipation in New York State
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Guest repliedHow do I move out at the age of 16 without having to deal with authorities due to emotional and mental abuse and not being able to stay at home because the longer I stay, I feel like I will finally kill myself for sure this time. I don’t want cps involved. I just want to leave and stay with a reliable friend over 18 and not have them be reported for housing a run away.
What do I please?
Please reply fast.Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-09-2020, 06:42 AM.
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Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to share a post on our Bulletin. It sounds like you are thinking about leaving home, but you are looking to do so in a way that would allow you to be fully independent. While we are not legal experts we can speak generally. This sounds like you are describing emancipation. Being emancipated means your parents are no longer responsible for you and you are granted all rights of an adult in order to live independently before reaching the age of majority (18 in most states). Emancipation can be a lengthy process. The criteria for an emancipation case to be considered generally include that you are already living separately from your parents, you are able to financially support yourself, and you can show that emancipation would be in your best interest. To learn more about the process or how to file a petition, it is recommended that you speak with a lawyer or an advocacy group. We can connect you with legal aide in your area and help you explore your options, if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.
We wish you the best,
NRS
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Guest repliedim 16 and i really hate living at my parents and i want to leave but i want to be by myself what would i have to do?
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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Guest repliedHello, I am a 16 year old who constantly fights with my mother for not wanting to be religious like her and follow her rules. I have been dating my boyfriend for quite some time now and when my mom found out she was furious. She would treat me terribly and sometimes not feed me because she was angry to talk to me. My father would take her side and my mother just yells at me all the time for everything. I have three younger siblings and they repeat all the bad things my mom tells me and make me feel terrible. Both of my parents do not let me leave my house and have me controlled. I am not allowed to talk with anyone. I have been wanting to move out because I feel terrible living with my parents and want to have liberty. I have a stable job and have been saving up my money to leave. I have recently found a place near my boyfriends house. He would like for me to move in with him but I rather live alone for a while. I was wondering if I could just leave at any moment. I have expressed moving out to them but they do not take me seriously. Could you help me?
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Thank you for contacting us. First, we are so sorry to hear home is a difficult place for you right now. You deserve to be respected and cared for and it's not right you aren't getting what you need from your family. It sounds like CPS is already involved, but if you want to make another incident report you can always do that. Sometimes multiple reports causes CPS to take the situation more seriously. But it's totally up to you. You can file through us or through Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 (www.childhelp.org).
Keep in mind we are not legal experts and no one can say for sure what may or may not happen if you proceed with your plan. What we do know is this: unless CPS has removed you from the home, you would need your parent's permission to live elsewhere, legally speaking. They have the right to file a runaway report on you and anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor.
So, here are some options to consider:
1) You could ask permission from your parents to live elsewhere
2) You could talk to the CPS agents currently involved with your family and get their advice on the matter
3) You could take steps towards getting emancipated early
On this last point: emancipation means you are freed from your parent's guardianship. To do that before 18 you would have to get a lawyer and go through the court system to prove that you can take care of yourself.If you want more details about emancipation in New York you can direct your questions to Brookhaven Youth Bureau at 631-451-8011.
We hope this information helps. If you'd like to talk about other options you may have (or just vent) feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online at www.1800runaway.org. We are confidential and here 24/7.
All the best,
NRS
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Guest repliedI am 16 and I live in new york. I live with my mom and my step father. My step father drinks all the time and gets loud and starts arguments with my mom sometimes. I have a boyfriend that's 16 and he lives with his mother. I want to move in with my boyfriend but my parents won't let me because they don't like him. He lives in a safe environment and him and his mother want me to move in with them also. Were I'm living now I'm being used and I'm treated with no respect. I do not have a job but once I'm able to move out I plan on getting one. My boyfriends mom has a job and is willing to take care of me. Cps is involved right now and was called on my step father. If I move in with my boyfriend will I or my boyfriend get in trouble in any way? Will I legally be aloud to move out without parent consent?
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and expressing your concerns.
We appreciate you letting us know about the emancipation process in NY. For each individual the emancipation process is different. We a not legal experts but in some cases you can still become emancipated in New York.
If you have any other questions or would like to see what other options are out there please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support.
NRS
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Guest repliedIt’s April 2020 and right now I know for a fact you can no longer get emancipated in the state of NY. They did away with that along time ago. No matter what your age is NY doesn’t do that for anyone any more. Just want to put that out there. You can look it you call as a lawyer but it’s true. No one can even file for that anymore. They don’t take those cases in court in NY they did away with that.
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It's great that you are so supportive of your girlfriend and are actively advocating for her! She absolutely should not be treated that way, no one deserves to be abused. Of course, if she is in immediate danger we encourage you or her to call out to 911. Your girlfriend the right to report the abuse to child protective services. If she feels like this is an option she wants to explore, she may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help her file a report if that’s the route she's considering.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you and your girlfriend may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
Stay safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedMy girlfriend is being abused by her step-dad a lot like it’s a dayly think and she’s always degraded by her mom and step-dad shes 16 is there anyway she could come live with me and my mom? I’m also 16.
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like the situation at home with your mom and dad is causing you stress. It was very responsible of you to reach out. We’re here to listen and here to help.
The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for, it’s called an Alternative Living Arrangement. If your parents give their written permission, you can live with someone else (a relative or family friend, for example) until you turn 18. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.
Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can have the police return you home.
We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
Best of Luck,
NRS
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Guest repliedMy girlfriend is 16, i’m 16 shes been staying over here for the past week, her grandmother(legal guardian) has told her that if she doesn’t stay there during the week, she will give up custody on her. her parents won’t take custody, but we are in New York State so would it be possible for her to live with me without my mother having to take custody of her?
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Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that things aren’t working out with your mom. It sounds like you have questions about possibly leaving her home without having to return. It takes a lot of maturity to ask for help, and we’ll do our best to share information that might help you decide your next steps.
We’re not legal experts, but from what we do know, if you are considered a minor in your state, you would need the consent of a parent or legal guardian to live outside of their home. If you leave without their consent, they can report you as a runaway with your local police department and, if found, the local police would likely return you to your parent or legal guardian. If you feel that you would be able to support yourself, an option for you might be emancipation. It’s important to keep in mind that emancipation often involves having to navigate your state’s court system, and that could mean spending a considerable amount of time and money on the process before achieving emancipation. If you’d like help finding more information on how runaway reports work and/or emancipation, please feel free to reach out to us.
Whatever you decide, we want you to know that we are here to support you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you take steps towards your goal. You can reach us 24/7 by phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), or by clicking the CHAT button when visiting our website, www.1800runaway.org . We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
-NRS
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