16 Year Old wants to move out/emancipation in New York State

[Guest]

I am 16 and currently living in New York State with my sister who has Power of Attorney over me. I used to live with my Aunt, who has adopted me, in CT. In New York as far as in aware, for emancipation all I need to do is be over the age of 16 and then just leave the household and say I don't want to live here and want to be on my own. Can someone correct me if that is not the case? My main goal is to either move in with my brother who is over 18 and has a house who lives right across town so if be enrolled in the same school, or move out in CT with a friend. Obviously id rather live with my brother. The reason why I speak of emancipation instead of custody is because we don't want to go trough the courts as either my aunt or sister would approve. So if I were to walk out of my hoarse, upon my own free will, to my brothers, and if a cop shows up asking me to head home, could I say I am emancipated and therefore my sister and aunt would not be obliged to take care of me further on out, meanim I could live with my brother in peace?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) It sounds like you want to move in with your brother and you are interested in emancipation. We are not legal experts, so we can only give you general information. In the state of New York, emancipation is referred to as “the renunciation of parental rights to a child.” Although New York does not have a formal statute for acquiring emancipation, the minor can acquire emancipation if they are legally married, is in the armed services, is able to establish an independent home, or if the parents have failed to fill their parental obligations. If you would like resources for legal aid in New York, please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), or via email.

[Guest]

Hello my daughter's friend is going to be turning 16 in August. She lives with her dad who gained custody of her after her mother passed away 3 years ago. He's never been an active father and hasn't paid his child support in the past. Not with her living with him she is in a constant battle for her sanity every day. He's extremely verbally, and mentally abusive toward her. He has gotten physical a few times and once a picture was sent to me from her. CPS has been callore times than I can count. He drinks heavily and the last I heard he wasn't supposed to drink if she was in the house or around him. He has a few guns not sure what kind they are but he has threaten to use them on her and many other threats. After her mother died she came to live with me for about 5 months because her father said he didn't know how to be a dad. Courts have told him that he needs anger management and she needs counseling and nothing has happened. I'm so affraid this poor girl will do anything at this point to leave the abuse. There's a strong possibility that she will run away and none of us will ever hear from her again. She called me today asking for my help before she does something she can't take back. So I'm wondering what are the steps that I can help her with as far as becoming emancipated or possibly coming to live with my husband and I??

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for reaching out to use here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well. It sounds like this youth is going through a really hard time and it can be very frustrating now knowing what you can do to help.

Keep in mind that we aren’t legal experts here at NRS, so we can’t speak in definite terms. From what we know the only way that the youth can be removed from her father’s custody legally and live somewhere else is if she were to report any abuse that was happening at home and there was an investigation and they deemed it unsafe or if the youth filed for emancipation (every state is different, but they have to be 16 years or older) or if there was a court decision to transfer custody to someone else. Those are the only three ways that we know of that the youth can do in order to legally leave home. For transferring custody from one person to another isn’t that easy. They will have to go to family court, petition to be their legal guardian, and the father would have to be willing to give up his own rights and give them to someone else.

What we know is that getting emancipated by the court is a process that does take a while. There also needs to be proof that the youth is able to support him or herself on their own. Other requirements sometime indicate that they have had to have lived independently from their parents for a certain amount of time, wishes to be free from parental control, has an acceptable plan for independent living, and be able to manage their own financial affairs. So it doesn't look like there is going to be a fast track to getting emancipated or website because it does go through the court system and you will have to wait for a judge to see the youth and hear the case details.

Her father may give her permission to live with another family (i.e yourself), but without getting an official document from the court her father would still be legally responsible for her. Which means that he can also take away that permission at any given moment and take her back home to live with him once again. So that might be something that you guys can explore if you feel like the father might respond well to having the youth move out of the house and live somewhere else.

We hope that information helps! Don't hesitate to reach out to us here if you need further help.

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and I’ve been getting neglected by my parents for a while now. My sister is willing to take me in but the catch is she’s in atlanta. Will i still be able to leave without my parents consent?

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about your situation and will try to help in any way we can. You seem concerned with living at home where you feel you have been neglected. We want you to know that you do not deserve this. If you would like to report the neglect to CPS we can report together on a conference call or you can report on your own. You also have the option of reporting the abuse to Child Help a National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453, or www.childhelp.org .
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
You mention wanting to stay with your sister in Atlanta. Maybe talking with your mother about this being an option she allows you to have may be beneficial. If she agrees to let you stay with your sister you may want to get her consent on paper. Also, possibly getting the letter certified or notarized may be beneficial to make the letter a legally document. This may be helpful so that you have proof in the event that your mother changes her mind and tries to make a runaway report.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
-NRS

[Guest]

I am 15 living in buffalo ny and pregnant due to my pregnancy my father banned me from my home I've been house to house for a couple months now but I haven't found a stable place to live where I am currently living it is said that I will have to leave when I get close to having my child because of they do not want to be involved in legal issues I was wondering if It is possible for me to get emancipated so that I can get a house of my own and have a stable place to live

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a stressful situation right now. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out for help.

Until you turn 18 your parents are legally responsible for you and it is not ok for your parents to ask you to move out. You could contact the Child Protective Services at 1-800-342-3720 and they can help provide you appropriate resources. Since we are not legal experts it can be helpful to talk to your local police department at (716)851-4444 to see what might happen. Emancipation is a process which can take time and it is something you have to qualify for. You could contact Brookhaven Youth Bureau at 631-654-7878 (9:00am-4:30pm Monday To Friday) or Dutchess Co. Youth Services at 845-486-3665 for information about getting emancipated. For your pregnancy needs you can contact the Planned Parents office at (866) 600-6886

You are acting strong is this stressful situation by reaching for help. If it might be an option for you could also call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we can listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 about to be 16 and I don’t wanna deal with my mother anymore and wanna move in to my grandfathers but she has soul custody of me is there any way I can leave and live with my grandfather???

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation.
The one way you can leave your mom’s place and go live with your grandfather is to get permission from your mom. If this isn’t an option, then running away may be a thought you have. We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.
It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents.
We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.
-NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I am 16. and I can't deal with my parents, What could I do to be emancipated, I am willing to wait til my birthday to be 17. What would I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. Conflict with parents can be super stressful and it is understandable that you would want to be emancipated.

While we aren't legal experts, generally emancipation is a long and expensive process. Some states don't offer emancipation, but where it is available, there are usually certain requirements. Usually, you have to be able to prove that you can support yourself. This means you need income from a job, you need to have a place to live, you need to continue your education until you receive a high school diploma/GED, and you need to be able to pay for things like health insurance and food and clothing.

The emancipation process can be super confusing, but there are legal aid resources available to help you navigate the process. We can find those resources for you over the phone or on chat. We are available 24/7 at 1800RUNAWAY, and we are completely confidential. Thank you again for reaching out and feel free to do so again at any time.

[Guest]

I’m 16 my fathers really abusive and I need to do what’s best for me and I have somebody over 18 that’s willing to take care of me. am I able to leave without consent?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about how things have been, and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your father. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave and your father files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. Abuse reporting could change the way your case would be handled, though. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 16 and currently my mom has custody over me. She is extremely controlling and won't let me have anything to do with my boyfriend or his family. I want to move in with my boyfriend and his family as soon as possible. My boyfriend is 19 and living with his mom and dad for the time being until we can get an apartment together. What can I do in my situation to be able to move out of my house and with my boyfriend and his family?

[ccsmod7]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us. We're not legal experts, but if you left your parent or legal guardian's home, they have the opportunity to file a runaway report with the police, which could compel them to find and return you home. And if you leave home and stay with someone else (e.g. your boyfriend and his family), they could be charged with harboring a runaway if you're found.

It's important to note that the age of majority (i.e. adulthood) varies state-by-state, and in the state of New York it appears it's 18 years old. As an alternative, you can pursue emancipation, which New York allows as early as 16 years of age. Emancipation involves convincing a court of law that you're capable of living independently and taking care of yourself, and that process can take some time and is not guaranteed. If you're considering this path and would like more information, you can visit the Legal Services Corporation's website at www.lsc.gov and, in the top right corner of the webpage click on "Find Legal Aid" and type in your city/state or zip code in order to find a local legal organization that you can reach out to for advice on family legal issues, including emancipation. Typically, emancipation is granted when a youth is able to prove that they are living separately from their parents, not relying on them for living expenses, and able to manage their own financial affairs, among other things.

If you're experiencing abuse at home, you can also call Child Help at 800-422-4453 or visit www.childhelp.org.

Additionally, you can call us anytime if you'd like to discuss your situation and/or these options further. Our phone number is 800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

[Guest]

Need help with a runaway 16 year old daughter. She want me to sign paper to drop school and also she said she made her decision to live with the boyfriend. She also want me not to bother her. She doesn't want to be home.

[ccsmod9]

Hello-
Thanks for reaching out to NRS we understand it can be a difficult time right now and commend you for reaching out and seeking help. Our goal is to inform you as best we can about what your options are.
Although we are not legal experts, what we can say is that if your daughter is 16 she is still considered a minor and therefore you have every right to call the authorities and file a runaway report. What this does is if the cops run into her or you know where she might be, the cops will take her back home to you. If she decides to live with her boyfriend and you have made a runaway report, technically he and his family might face charges of harboring a minor. Just some things to keep in mind. Again as far you giving her permission is up to you if you do not consent then what ever she chooses to do has consequences as a result. Some options she might have are to call us and we can have a conference call to talk about what has been going on. She could also reach out to school personal or even a trusted family member.
Again we want to thank you for contacting us in your time of need. We know that at times like these it can be hard to feel like there is a way out. We hope that the options provided for you were enough to help you make an informed decision. If for any reason you have more questions or concerns you can call us at (1-800-786-2929) or use our chat option online at (www.1800runaway.org).
Best Wishes - NRS

[Guest]

Hey I'm 15 and planning on moving out when i become 16 but i want to move outside of New York does this change anything

[ccsmod10]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

Sounds like you are planning on moving out at 16. The easiest way to move out at 16 is with parental permission, and that is still allowed out of state. If you are looking to go through the court emancipation process to become a legal adult before you turn 18, it is also possible to move out of state. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if that is your situation and you would like to talk about New York's emancipation laws.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian in New York. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need additional support. We are here 24/7.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I am in need of desperate advice. I am 15, turning 16 in a few months, and I live in the United States, NY. My parents are very strict and religious, and have recently found out that I have a girlfriend. I was aggressively abused by my parents both verbally and physically, very aggressively, and I know they will always harass me because of this situation; they continue to threaten me if I am caught again. I have always felt uncomfortable in this household, but now I am even more uncomfortable and scared. My mom said she doesnt want me as her son anymore and told me to leave multiple times. I have no problem in doing so. My parents also fight most of the time and recently it has been pretty bad, with pretty bad nosebleeds involved. I do not feel comfortable or safe here. I am also a student, so I try coming home and doing my work but I can never focus because I'm uncomfortable and scared. I am emotionally unstable and I go crazy when I live here. I want to leave as soon as possible. It would be great if I could be emancipated and I am wondering if I can be. I spoke with my friend and she said her mom has no problem with housing me. I also plan to get a job very soon to financially support myself, especially since my parents took my phone and laptop which I need for school. Am I allowed to just leave and live in my friends house? I would still be going to school everyday, but I am also worried that my parents might call the school or go to the school to get me again. I really do not want to live here anymore. At times I feel my mom being slightly worried about me and she wants to make sure I am okay, but I simply do not want to live here anymore. I cannot focus on my school work and with all the fighting and the way my parents view me now and all the abuse I have been put through, I am very uncomfortable here. She has told me multiple times to leave the house, and I very much want to. I could have housing and earn money. I just do not want to come back. While being this uncomfortable around my parents and this house, I do not want to call police on them or get them in trouble because they are still my parents and I do not want to hurt them. Also they would be very mad at me if I did that and I would be more scared. I am in need of advice and information. My mom told me to leave and I want to. I have housing available. I will have a source of income soon. I do not want to come back here and I do not want my parents calling the school or police to bring me back. Please help.

[ccsmod2]

Hi there thank you so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to share what has been going on and reaching out is a great first step. We appreciate you reaching out and we are here to listen. We are going to talk about a few things and if you feel comfortable reaching out again we are here 24/7 over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online chat system at 1800runaway.org.
You do not deserve to be abused physically or verbally at all and it is not okay to be treated that way. It is not fair no matter what. We know you mentioned not wanting to involve the police but if you do want to think about reporting what is going on at home you do have the right to do so If you do want to explore filing an abuse report, we can talk about that. If you want to explore making an abuse report or talking about Child Protective Services, Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource. They can answer any questions you have and help you look into reporting if that is something you want to pursue. We are also here too to talk about what it could mean to report and what it may look like, and since we are mandated reporters if you tell us identifying factors (your name, your aunt's name, your address, etc.) we would have to pass along what you told us to CPS on your behalf, but if those factors aren’t told to us we can talk confidentially as we are right now. You can also talk to other mandated reporters like a teacher/guidance counselor at school if you want to report as well. There are many outcomes to what can happen with CPS reporting like mandated counselling/therapy, living with a relative or someone you have lived with before, and sometimes placement outside of family can occur. CPS does truly care about you and tries to keep your interest in mind and keep families together and of course we are always here to listen about what you think may work best for you.
Your safety is a top priority and we are also always here for you to talk to. If you do feel like you are unsafe with your parents or at home, you can always call 911 too. We truly care about you and you do not have to hesitate to call or chat with us as well if you feel comfortable. If you do decide you need to leave home to stay safe that is always an option we can talk about with safety planning. It sounds like you have a great support system with your friend and their mom. We aren’t legal experts but if you do leave home your mom may file something called a runaway report. This just entails her calling the non-emergency police and letting them know you have left home and any information she can provide about where you are. Leaving home is not illegal per say but a status offense like breaking curfew. This would mean you would just be brought back home and not arrested (unless you are on probation or have habitually ran away which may change things depending on the police department). You do have the right to tell the police about what has been going on at home and they would not want to bring you somewhere you feel unsafe and may investigate themselves or reach out to CPS. Again, we can always safety plan if you do feel like you want to leave home so don’t hesitate to reach out again.
We are here 24/7 and we can talk further about these things or brainstorm other plans if you feel they may not work for you. We truly care about you and it takes a lot of courage to talk about what has been going on. We hope to hear from you soon!
Best, NRS

[Guest]

I am turning sixteen in 26 days and my grandpa has giving me and multiple people alcohol and other illegal drugs and i don't feel safe at my own home because when i told my school about this my parents found out and are very upset with me and want to abuse me. my grandpa has also gotten me to the point were i was intoxicated and he tried to touch my penis. i was adopted by them and since it is my adopted dads father he is upset with me and verbally abuses me for trying to tell the right people. I have been looking in to getting emancipated and i am gonna be getting a job and i have a family i can stay with that can help give me support so i was wondering what your thoughts are.

[ccsmod5]

Hi,

Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’ve been going through an incredibly difficult time and I’m sorry to hear you feel unsafe. No one deserves to be abused or mistreated, especially not by the people who are supposed to take care of them. We’re sorry to hear that your parents reacted the way that they did. It’s usually helpful to tell somebody about these things, so it’s great that you’re continuing to ask for help.

As you’ve already stated, both your father and grandfather’s actions constitute abuse. We know you’ve told someone at school about what’s happened, but you also have the right to file an abuse report if you choose. Your father has no right to stop you from telling anyone. Your well-being is the utmost priority. If you want any help with this, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453, RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 1-800-656-4673 or our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929. Someone will be more than happy to listen and help you through the process.

In the meantime, the most important thing is your safety. It’s great to hear that you have family you can stay with who will support you. If they are willing to help, it might be worth coming up with a plan with them to ensure your safety. If you would like any help with that, again, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We also offer a chat service at 1800runaway.org if you’d rather not talk on the phone.

Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon.

[Guest]

Im 16 and im not happy at my home anymore and i have this overwhelming urge to find a way to leave but i cant bc my dad is to controlling and wont let me live with my nana and papa i cant do it anymore the only thing i can do now is
run away

[ccsmod3]

Hi. Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing part of your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult situation. Unhappy home lives can become overwhelming as you mentioned and it’s understandable that you would want to leave. It might be worth a try to possibly ask your nana and papa if they can help communicate to your parents that you both feel you would be happier living with them for a while. If you do decide to run away instead it may be important to know that in most states you must be at least 18 years old in order to leave home without permission. Therefore, if you do decide to leave please note that your parents have the right to file a runaway report. If a runaway report is filed and you are found you may be required to return back home. If you are need of any resources to shelters, counseling, etc please feel free to contact us via phone at 1800-runaway or come chat at 1800runaway.org. All the best, NRS.