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a friend and myself are planning to run away together. we are each leaving for our own personal reasons. my parents are toxic, abusive and manipulative and i have no family anywhere nearby. my friend's family is also abusive and manipulative. we have decided to take time to plan for everything we can think of that we may need or that may happen during the trip. we know when we will leave (a little under two years from now), where we will go and stay until we can rent/purchase our own place, and how we will get there. we are taking into consideration what we will pack and how much money we need to gather beforehand to be able to survive until at least one of us turns 18 and can get a job without worrying about being found by the police, should our parents file us as missing. when we leave, i will be a couple months short of turning 18 and they will be 18 not too long after i will be. our end destination is 1,400 miles from where we currently reside. i would figure that this is far enough away that we should not have to worry about police, but would we really be safe ? would using any form of id for tavel (greyhound etc.) give us away ? we will both be 17 at the time of our departure, but this is the only uncertainty left in our planning at this time. any information regarding greyhound and their id checks along with the likelihood of being "caught" if using our photo id before the ages of 18 would be greatly appreciated, as it would help to ensure our safety during our trip. planning this is not an easy task. i, personally, would be leaving everything behind for a new life. i do not wish to be reminded of my past or my family with how they have and continue to treat me. i have spent years already simply thinking about this decision and now i am definitely going through with it. my friend and i will both start over with new identities, only using our birth names where absolutely necessary in order to completely distance ourselves from our past. my questions are these;

1) would using our id on greyhound buses allow the police to find us easier ? runaways are not usually a top priority for the police, but if we have been reported as missing or as runaways, would using our ids when purchasing tickets notify or leave a trail for the police to follow and find us and/or cut us off at some point in our transit ?

2) since we would be leaving at the ages of 17, what would happen once we both turned 18 ? would it be safe to begin living life "normally" since we would be responsible for ourselves ? when would it be safe to stop worrying about being taken back, legally speaking ?

3) is there anything regarding the traveling which we should think about that we may have not already considered ? we will have arrangements for travel (which may change depending on the responses to this post) and arrangements for shelter at our destination. money, food, and water have been considered and taken care of. what might we be missing ?

thank you for your time

~ a

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Ruanway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

It sounds like you have already thought about most things and have a plan set in motion. We can speak generally answering your questions but if you want to talk through your plan more, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

We are not legal experts, and it sounds like you have already educated yourself a lot on runaway laws, but generally speaking if you use a credit card to buy a ticket or use your ID, the police may obtain access to that information. One thing you can do is to call out anonymously to your local police station and inquire about how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some departments won't take runaway reports for a 17 year old or like you mentioned, actively look for them. The only way to know for sure is to ask them about that. The actions of the police may also depend a lot on how both of your parents respond so it would be hard for us to give you a simple answer. If they go beyond filing a runaway report and go to a lot of effort to find you (think private investigators or reporting you missing to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children) that would change the way your case may be handled. So some things to think about would be how you think they will react.

Another thing to make sure is that 18 is indeed the age you become a legal adult in your state. While most states are 18, they are not all. You can look up that information on SEXETC.org as well as other laws you may want to know for your state or the state you are going to. Once you are the age of majority for your state you could still be listed as a missing person, but you would not be returned to your parents or guardians by the police.

It sounds like you have put a lot of effort into your plan and have thought your situation through. One way to avoid being fearful of being returned by the police or other legal repercussions would be to wait until you were a legal adult to leave. If that is not possible, you can do some of the things we listed above to weigh your options of leaving as a minor. You would also always be able to call us later in time if you realized you hadn't thought something through. We have a database for the entire country where we could look up numbers for you for housing, soup kitchen and safe spaces. Don't hesitate to give us a call if you want to talk to someone about your planning or if you leave and need help.

Good luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Ruanway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

It sounds like you have already thought about most things and have a plan set in motion. We can speak generally answering your questions but if you want to talk through your plan more, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

We are not legal experts, and it sounds like you have already educated yourself a lot on runaway laws, but generally speaking if you use a credit card to buy a ticket or use your ID, the police may obtain access to that information. One thing you can do is to call out anonymously to your local police station and inquire about how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some departments won't take runaway reports for a 17 year old or like you mentioned, actively look for them. The only way to know for sure is to ask them about that. The actions of the police may also depend a lot on how both of your parents respond so it would be hard for us to give you a simple answer. If they go beyond filing a runaway report and go to a lot of effort to find you (think private investigators or reporting you missing to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children) that would change the way your case may be handled. So some things to think about would be how you think they will react.

Another thing to make sure is that 18 is indeed the age you become a legal adult in your state. While most states are 18, they are not all. You can look up that information on SEXETC.org as well as other laws you may want to know for your state or the state you are going to. Once you are the age of majority for your state you could still be listed as a missing person, but you would not be returned to your parents or guardians by the police.

It sounds like you have put a lot of effort into your plan and have thought your situation through. One way to avoid being fearful of being returned by the police or other legal repercussions would be to wait until you were a legal adult to leave. If that is not possible, you can do some of the things we listed above to weigh your options of leaving as a minor. You would also always be able to call us later in time if you realized you hadn't thought something through. We have a database for the entire country where we could look up numbers for you for housing, soup kitchen and safe spaces. Don't hesitate to give us a call if you want to talk to someone about your planning or if you leave and need help.

Good luck,

NRS

thank you for your timely response.
we have agreed to only make purchases in cash where possible to avoid our debit cards giving away our location. you mentioned the possibility of our parents hiring private investigators. this is something i haven't considered but is relevant to my situation, as my dad works in a field where he is close with people in this line of work and does similar tasks. it is likely that this may happen, so i will look more into how we should cover our tracks for the few months in which we will be waiting. i looked into the website you recommended and have verified that the age at which a person is considered a legal adult is 18.

my next question is;

in order to not be considered "missing" would we be able to report to local police near our residence (after we leave) and confirm that we are no longer missing after we both turn 18, that way we can assume life "normally"

thank you again

~ a

[ccsmod1]

Hi again,

We're glad that you were able to receive some help from the resources we listed. Again, we're not legal experts but you would be able to either let your parents know that you are safe or you would be able to let the police know that to have you not be reported as missing.

Good luck,

NRS