Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    It sounds like you're really having a tough time with your dad and some of his views, which is totally understandable. We're sorry to hear that you're not getting the support that you need from him, though we're glad that you have your mom. You deserve to be yourself and receive all the support and acceptance in the world. Since you're not getting that from dad and want to live with mom full time, it might make sense for you to try and have a conversation with mom about how you're feeling and see if that's something she's open to discussing with your dad. If that doesn't pan out, your mom might have to hire an attorney and go to court to try and adjust their custodial agreement. Depending on your age and the state that you live in, you might also be given the opportunity to share your thoughts and rationale on where you'd like to go and why, though the ultimate decision would be up to the judge.

    You mentioned seeing a therapist but that she can't help, which might also be something worth exploring. Finding the RIGHT therapist is important, so if you're feeling like the one you're seeing at the moment isn't helping, it might be worth trying to find a better fit. You might also find it that much more effective to try and see someone who shares lived experiences with you or is otherwise LGBTQ+ affirming. Consider checking out The Trevor Project (www.thetrevorproject.org, 866-488-7386) for ongoing support and referrals to therapists who might be better suited for you. The Association of LGBTQ+ Psychiatrists (https://www.aglp.org/) is another good org to reach out to for local therapist referrals.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on and how we can help, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi my name is ***,im a trans guy and i want to live with my mom she kinda supports and would let me cut my hair and dye it and be myself but my mom and dad have custody over me.my father is manipulative racist, and homophobic/trans-phobic. i have hurt myself because of him and i still cant get away from him its like everywhere i go he is there.life always seems good then i have to go to his house.my mom and dad have sent me to a therapist but she cant help.im getting unmotivated and depressed my body dysphoria is getting worse. and idk what to do because im only a child....
    Last edited by ccsmod3; Yesterday, 12:37 AM. Reason: Edited to maintain confidentiality

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting NRS,
    We know it is brave of you to share what's going on at home with your dad. From what it sounds like is that you are just not able to feel like you have room with so many kids. There are a few things that you can keep in mind. You can try and ask your mom to see if she can get a lawyer who can help her get full custody of you. That way you can stay with your mom as you want. Another maybe is to just ask your dad with another adult. See if he is willing to be a bit flexible. Maybe you both can work out a compromise so that you both feel like you get something out of the deal.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my mom it is to hard live with my dad he have so much kids in his house he won't let one go i hate my dad

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling very confused on what to do. You’ve mentioned how living with your dad has affected your mental health and are afraid you’ll end up doing something that could’ve been prevented.

    Your safety and your well-being is important. If you’re currently at risk of any danger, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out in addition to our crisis services.We understand that this is challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re felling to your mom and dad and express how you want to live with your mom instead. We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help you by phone or chat, if you’d like to talk more in detail. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929); or www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Please feel free to call or chat soon.




    Take care,

    NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My parents were never married so they aren't divorced but they have had split custody over me my whole life. I really want to live with my mom full time because being at my dads really affects my mental health in a very bad way. I'm 15 and I'll be 16 in about 6 months. Another issue though is my dad had another kid (my half sister) and I can't imagine leaving her alone in that house. So I have thought about just dealing with it and staying at my dads, but I'm afraid my mental health will get so bad that I end up doing something that could've been prevented if I just stayed at my moms. I was planning on telling my mom about this but last time I did she just ignored the subject.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    how can I live with my mom my parents hate eachother and I miss my mom and brother so much I just want to see them

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. We unfortunately are not legal experts so we do not have the answer to your question. We can help direct you to some legal resources if you call or chat with us!
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’ve wanted to live with my Dad for almost a year now, I have lived with my Mom since I was 2 and I am now 16. I lived with my Dad for 3 months when we were planning on relocating to Colorado, my Mom seemed fine with it till last minute she said I can’t go. We have now been in court for the past 8 months with no progression. I am not allowed to know the details of court nor can I talk to anyone in the court system. Is there anything I can do to make this go faster?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a difficult time with you dad. School is hard, especially online school, and it sounds like you could really use some encouragement and support at home as you navigate this challenging time. You certainly do not deserve to be verbally abused for any reason. You’re actually to be commended for seeking help…that takes a lot of courage.

    It’s challenging to switch schools but, if you are able to identify a teacher or counselor, early on, that you feel comfortable with, you might consider talking to them about what you are going through, both at home and academically. You’re a new student, and they may have support services to help you transition or to help with tutoring. Teachers really appreciate students who ask for help; it shows initiative.

    You talk about going to live with you mom. If you aren’t aware of the details of your parents’ custody agreement, you could ask your mom to explain this. It might help to know the legal guidelines if you want to pursue this option. This could also make her aware of what you are going through with your dad, if she doesn’t already know.

    You can always contact us at NRS either by phone, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or on a live chat through out website, www.1800RUNAWAY.org. Both are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. We can look for helpful resources in your area or work on coping strategies with you. NRS also offers a conference call service in which we will mediate a call between you and your parents. It allows you to set some ground rules, and we can make sure the conversation remains civil and on topic. We are here to listen and to help. We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 14 and i want to live with my mom. My dad curses and threatens me and says im gonna end up dead in the ghetto or commit suicide because im a quiter just because i have bad grades, my dad and my stepmom put me and my little stepbrother in a private school and i barely passed my middle school last year which was a public school and im trying to explain to him that im not ready for this school because this is a private school and i have 8 classes and he's been verbally abusing since 5th grade im in 8th grade now and last night he called me a disappointment and thats why i want to live with my mom she's the best mom i could ask for and im doing online school too so she doesnt have to drop me off to school every morning i really dont know what to do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things at home with your dad are pretty challenging, and we're sorry to hear that. Based on what you've shared, it's understandable that you've been thinking more about living with your mom. Is this something that you've talked about with her at all? If not, it might be a good idea to try and have a conversation with mom about how you're feeling and opening up to her about what's going on at home. If she's aware of how you're being treated, she might try and figure out a way to have you live with her sooner than later.

    Because you mentioned some abuse in the home, and that your dad is a drug addict and alcoholic, we also want to let you know that filing an abuse report with Child Protective Services (CPS) is an option for you as well. CPS will likely conduct an investigation to try and determine what's going on at home, and help figure out what steps need to be taken to ensure that you're safe. To file a report with CPS, you can do it on your own by searching your state and CPS agency. Once you locate them, their website will instruct you on how to file a report. You can also talk to a teacher or a school social worker about what's going on. They have an obligation to file abuse reports and can do so on your behalf. You're also welcome to call or chat with us here at NRS. We're Mandated Reporters as well, and can file a report with you, or for you--whatever you're most comfortable with.

    If you'd like to chat more about what's going on at home, discuss some of your options, or learn more about filing an abuse report, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi. I'm 14 and I really want to live with my mom.

    I only visit her during the summer and Christmas break. I live with my dad the rest of the year. I hate it there, I get yelled out for stupid things, and he is verbally abusive and at times physical. He once put me up to the wall and choked me. My mom has been trying nearly all my life to get me to live with but, it never worked out. My dad is a drug addict, a alcoholic. And when he gets drunk he gets angry. He blames my mom constantly , and says that it's her fault I'm here. My brother use to live with me but he turned 18 and left. Ever since then, I feel weak... I can't do this anymore. It hurts my mom to see me leave. And I just really want to live with her. My dad lies to me saying that he will let me live with my mom but never truly let me. Plz.. I just want to live with my mom

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Hey there, Thanks for reaching out for help. We can’t imagine how difficult this is and you are so brave to reach out to us and talk about your situation. What your teacher is doing is not ok. You deserve to go to school and class without fear of being taken advantage of. It’s understandable you are afraid to tell anyone. It can be hard to tell your parents about what your teacher is doing at school. We offer a conference call service if you would like some help speaking with them about it (1-800-786-2929). If it would be easier to tell someone else before your parents you could try another teacher or a counselor at school. Another option of someone to talk to is contacting RAINN (rainn.org or 800.656.4673). They are the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organizaton. You can call and speak with a trained staff member from your local sexual assault service provider. They also have a chat option if you would feel more comfortable talking that way. Again, you are very brave to speak out and ask for help. You did nothing to deserve this. If you want to speak more about your situation and the options you have, call or chat with us anytime, 24/7 (1800runaway.org). We are here to listen, here to help. Good luck!

    Leave a comment:

Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X