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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

    Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. As a minor, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. They could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

    In regards to your plan of living with your mother, we would encourage you to speak with your parents if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

    You mentioned that your dad does not provide for you, which under child care law could be considered neglect. You do deserve to live in a safe home, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like, they can be reached by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

    If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • ccsmod2
    replied

    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

    Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. As a minor, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. They could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

    In regards to your plan of living with your mother, we would encourage you to speak with your parents if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

    You mentioned that your dad does not provide for you, which under child care law could be considered neglect. You do deserve to live in a safe home, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like, they can be reached by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

    If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    hello, i'm 16 and have deeply always disliked living (literally switching homes every other day) at my dads ever since i was 10. obviously, my parents are divorced and i have a much deeper connection with my mom. we both are on the same page about reasons on why he's so closed minded, selfish and irrational however, i don't know a way (or if it's even possible) if i can just live at my moms. am i legally allowed to stay at my moms for these reasons? my dad doesn't necessarily cause physical harm, but he does cause stress due to himself being so closed minded along with his wife. he doesn't even provide for anything compared to my mom (healthcare, clothing, etc.) i'm also so tired of living up to his expectations and have even thought about running away to my moms since she doesn't live that far (of course that'll cause trouble). anyways, is it possible for me to just stick with my mom? for my sanity?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. It sounds like a pretty frustrating situation you are in. Have you talked to your mom about your situation to see if she will allow you to come back? Being your legal guardian, your mom can make the final call about where you are living. If interested, at NRS we would be able to mediate a conference call between you and your mom to help you address your situation and explore options for returning home or finding an alternative living arrangement that might be a better fit for you. We are available 24/7, even if you just want to talk yourself (800) RUNAWAY.

    Running away from home isn’t technically illegal or something that can get you locked up—however, if you engage in other illegal behaviors, that is another story. We are not legal experts, but it might be helpful to talk to your parents’ custody lawyer or your local police department to address your situation and verify your rights and options.

    Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 16, my dad left when I was really young and until a year ago I hadn't seen him in 5/6 years, after my birthday in August (i just turned 16) they said they wanted me to stay with them for a while at first I was really mad and upset with my mom for even contacting him. so I went for the week I got excited thinking oh I can totally move and just start fresh, but eventually, I went back up north in Minnesota. It was supposed to be my last week in my hometown, but my last day I had broken down saying I didn't want to leave my friends and my life that I have lived, so my mom said that I didn't have to move if I didn't want to so I said I didn't but she said I had to go for the week. she made plans behind my back, but she has full custody of me. I want to move back home and leave the place im in now, but every time I say I wanna go home my stepmom says she will send me to lock up if I keep complaining about it. what do I do to go home because I can't get kicked out cause she will send me to lock up they also called cops on me because I was crying? She was trying to get me locked up.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply:Hi, i recently moved closer to my dad


    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don't deserve to be abused in any way.
    It is not your fault.
    You have the right to want to be safe.
    It sounds like you would like to only live with your mom and would like to have the right to choose legally to do so.

    You might consider speaking with your mother about possibly consulting with a legal expert in regards to any forward changes to the custody agreement she has with your father.

    Another option is that you or your mother have the right to file an abuse report with the state’s child protective services division. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone trustworthy as far as transferring custody.

    You did a great job reaching out today. May there be a positive change in your situation.


    Be safe and take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I recently moved closer to my dad so my parents could share custody 50/50. my dad has been physically and emotionally abusive and I am turning 16 in Feb. I was wondering what the process is to possibly be able to chose to only live with my mom
    thx
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-11-2018, 05:46 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    replied
    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.

    We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally, if you are under the age of 18 you are still under the custody of a legal guardian. It’s not illegal to run away from a legal guardian, but your mother could potentially get in trouble for allowing you to stay with her if her custody was revoked. If you haven’t already, you could consider talking with your case worker about your situation. We also have legal aid resources if you have more questions about the specific laws in your state.

    If you haven’t already, you could also consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling.
    There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place if you’re in need or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

    -NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So Child Services confiscated the Custody over me when I was 13 years old. Since I’m 15, almost 16, will I legally be able to move back to my mother despite her custody being stripped away?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Hi I'm going to be 16 in a few months

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you might want to leave your current situation and would like to explore some options on how you might be able to stay with your mother.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you during this difficult time.
    It sounds like you are very frustrated about the lack of time you spend with your dad and the lack of respect his girlfriend demonstrates towards your mom.
    We understand how this could upset you. It sounds like you have a very close relationship with your mom. It’s only natural that you would want to stand up for her. You did a great job reaching out today. Sometimes talking to someone about things or issues you are having can bring about solutions not thought of before.

    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We look forward to hearing from you.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm going to be 16 in a few months I want to live with mom but my dad has full custody over me and keeps denying for me to live with my mom.. Reasons: -health care, I never go to the dentist or eye doctor I don't even have my own doctor yet also my dad and his girlfriend keep losing my health card. - There’s too many people in the house, there are only four bedrooms and eight people, and I have anxiety issues so it's hard to be around everyone. -entertainment- I used to do gymnastics, singing lessons, swimming lessons, skating lessons everything and then all of a sudden it all had to stop because my father took me away, I moved in two years ago and I haven't done one sport or anything I got into singing lessons because I signed up and it was at my school other than that nothing, absolutely nothing. When I'm with my mom almost every day we do something together which explains why were so close we would do everything together but at my dad's there always watching TV and I'm cooped up in my room doing nothing I make my own plans I pay for my own stuff I'm nowhere near being close to my dad plus he's never home he's always out at his dumb job and never spends time with me. So that makes me spend more time with his girlfriend, I don't like her she annoys me she's mean she talks bad things about my mom I tell her to stop but she just keeps going. We get into arguments so often it feels like that’s all I ever do in my life. - I love my mom. She's my best friend. I can't take it anymore I never get to see her and when I do we both always end up crying because of how much we miss each other. I want to be like how it used to be, how I would wake up every morning and snuggle up with her and do the same thing before I go to bed and make sure she's ok... I ball my eyes almost every night I never told my dad this but I do it hurts so much to not be with her... So I'm hoping you guys can help me I would like to do this without court and If I have to then I would like some advice on how to convince my dad to say yes for me to have the greatest life. Please help me.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-09-2018, 04:12 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: I’m kinda in the same situation

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    It sounds like you are quite frustrated with your current living arrangement with your father.
    You don’t deserve the mental and verbal abuse he is inflicting upon you.
    There is no excuse for this type of behavior and you are certainly not to blame for it.
    Though we understand your feelings it does seem that you have people that are supportive like your mother and others. Sometimes it takes legal action and court to bring about a change in custody from one parent to another.
    It may take some time. Reaching out is important. Talking with others can help when things seem a bit too much. Having a parent, counselor, friends etc. can be of some comfort.

    You did something good today by reaching out.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m kinda in the same situation, my mom lives in Texas and I live in Colorado with my dad. My dad is jerk who always has something to say about my mom and step dad, he is very mentally and verbally abusive sometimes it’s too much for me and I just want to run away and never see him again we’ve begged him crying and crying to have him please let us move with my mom but it’s the same thing no and then he tries to make us feel bad my life is a mess and no one cares to help I’ve talked teachers, school counselors, therapists, and parents but nothing has happened I’m 16 and I feel I should be able to make that decision of where I can be

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for contacting the NRS. We are sorry to hear that you have been kept from your mother and that your dad has been physical with you. It is normal to want to know her and you deserve a relationship with her.
    We understand that you do not want the police involved. If you would like to report the way your dad hits you in the future keeping a record of any bruises with pictures may be beneficial. One resource for child abuse reporting is Child Help and their number is 1800-422-4453, you can also reach them at www.childhelp.org. They may also be able to help you look into some legal options as far as who has custody of you and your rights to which parent you live with. If you would like to reach out to your local CPS you can do so. We can conference call with you so that you can report if you feel more comfortable or we can make the report for you with enough information. You mention that you have thought about killing yourself. Your safety and well-being is in our best interest. If you feel you are suicidal and need help please call 911 or call in and we will dial out to your local police for you. If you would like to speak with people who specialize on the issue you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org .
    We are open 24/7 confidential and toll free. You can reach us by phone at 1800-RUNAWAY, or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. Take care of yourself.
    -NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm 15, and I want to go live with my mom too I'm tired of being with my dad, he's always brain washing me about my mom and he would always hit me for the littles reason I always try to be a good kid but nothing works and I have thought about killing myself but I try to be strong and keep living my miserable life.


    About 3 to 4 years ago I found my mother's phone number and I talked to her and she told me she has been trying to get custody since my dad took me but my dad keeps lying and saying that my mother hit him and that she was abusive to him, and when I was 6 years old I remember seeing my dad hitting my mom but my dad tries to Deni it.



    all these years I've went to court I had to lie because my dad would tell me to other wise he would get mad and hit me and I could have bruises on my back and legs and arms.


    now that I'm 15 I have a secret phone that my dad doesn't know about and I got my mothers phone number but I haven't called her yet because I fear that my dad might hear me talking to her and he's gonna hit me and get mad.


    I don't know what to do, I don't want to call the police or 911 and tell them because my dad is gonna lie and say that I'm the one lying. I just want my mom I'm tired of having to lie for my dad, I want to tell the truth but he won't let me.

    Leave a comment:

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