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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 15 turning 16 in 2 months my parents currently have 50/50 custody of me but I want my mom to have full custody of because I do not love my dad anymore. He constantly tears my self esteem down and I cut and don't eat at his house. He won't let me go to my moms full time and i am completely out of ideas. I fear if I have to keep living I will harm myself
    Last edited by ccsmod6; 03-01-2019, 12:15 AM.

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Want to live with mom but not sure what to tell dad

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It sounds like it would be nice to have someone listen and not be judgmental. During times that are tough it is also important that you remember to exercise self-care.
    Reaching out to NRS was very good on your part. Good job.
    Sometimes having a place to vent and explore some options can be helpful.
    It sounds like you have a good feeling about talking with your mother.
    We want you to know that we are here to listen and act as support to help you through this challenging time.
    We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and possibly help you come up with a plan on how you might have better communication with your dad and or stepmom. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Want to live with mom but not sure what to tell dad

    Ever since my dad married my step mom life has just sucked I get treated unfair compared to her kids , when I was little my sis moved out because of my step mom. My step mom likes to talk a lot of crap about me to her family and friends. When I need help with something i have to talk to her because my dads always working and if I have a problem like being depressed she brushes it of and says deal with it and likes to talk crap about my dads family like that’s going to help. I can’t take it anymore I have no life when I’m here I’m on my bed always looking at the roof or looking how everybody else is happy except me. I love my dad and mom but I rather live with my mom. At least she can help me withought talking crap. Please help me.

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://childhelpinternational.com/

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.


    Best, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m a girl from Canada and my parents are separated. My mum doesn’t live in the same city as my dad, and it’s really hard to go back and forth. I love being at my mums; there I’m though of, treated well, and always loved but at my dads I feel depressed and he never does anything with me or even makes an attempt to. I have posed the question to him or moving, but he keeps saying no. I feel like I am alone in this and my situation is hopeless.. I love my friends and my pets but I’m extremely unhappy with my dad and I’ve always wanted to move. My mom and step-dad and sisters want me there, and the only thing keeping me here is my dad. Please help me, I don’t know what to do but I really don’t want to wait 2 years before I can choose who I live with. My dad has custody as well, and I don’t know what to do. I’m not suicidal and I don’t want to run away, I just really need help and I need to know what to do because I have no clue. Please help me.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us.

    We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time at home. You don't deserve to be treated like that. It sounds like your safety is at risk at times when your dad gets drunk. You have the right to file an abuse report. if that might be an option for you. You could call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help you provide information on filing an abuse report. You can also call 911 if your dad is to enter your room in a drunk state like that again. You shouldn't have to go through that. You could also contact legal aid at www.lawhelp.org who can help find if there is a way for your mom to get primary custody.

    Talking to people who you trust like your mom, friends and school counselors can be helpful as well. You can also contact SAMHSA and they can help provide you counseling resources at 1-877-726-4727.

    You are acting strong by reaching for help before taking any steps. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

    Best
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 16, and my dads only child. I live with my dad and his girlfriend. My parents are separated, and have been for 4 years, but they aren't divorced yet. My dad drinks and so does his girlfriend. We argue a lot, but I try to do everything to please the both of them. There's a lot of emotional distress and abuse there, and I visit with my mom sometimes. I've had talks with my mom about wanting to move back in, too. One time 3 years ago, I tried to move back in with my mom, but my dad said I couldn't and that my mom would never be able to raise me and my brother both. I tried 2 more times within a 2 year time span and my dad said no again and then we moved into a house. Recently, my dad and his girlfriend have been drinking more than usual. There's been times where he's gotten drunk and come into my room naked and laid in my bed. He never remembers that he does that. So he has me do chores and he's really strict and all that. He's also in the military so I guess he feels like he's entitled to treat me like I should do everything in the house. I wash the dishes and take the trash out and clean the bathroom. Normal chores, and I don't have a problem with doing any of those things go. But when j don't take the trash out to the road when the garbage truck comes, he gets all mad and it stresses me out because his girlfriend never does anything. She just sits on the couch and when things don't go her way, she starts to attack me verbally and whenever my dad goes out of town for work, she drinks more and she uses me as a target for whatever she is feeling. Lately, they've just been against me and my dad takes my phone and I'm unable to talk to anyone. I'm unable to talk to my mom, and my brother. I just want to move back to my moms because I'm genuinely unhappy here. I turn 17 February 1st and I plan on telling my dad for the fourth time, that I want to live with my mom. Please help.

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline as it sounds like you are going through a difficult living situation as no one deserves to be abused. We are legal experts, and your situation is hard due to already having joint custody and any changes in living situations, your dad would most likely go to court, hire lawyers, and a judge would have to find your mother unfit. If you are being abused, you have the right make an abuse report with your local abuse hotline which you can find the number to at Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) 1-800-422-4453 or call into us and we can support you through reporting. Also, if you reach out to us directly we can see if there are any local legal resources that could provide you with more specific questions.

    We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

    -NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My mom and dad have been divorced my whole life. I have always loved with my mom and I visit my dad, but my mom is an abusive parent and manipulative. They have joint custody. Can I legally choose to go live with my dad to escape my moms abusive household?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for sharing your home situation with us through our online forum. We’re sorry to hear that things at home are going so rough that you don’t feel like you can continue living there. No one deserves to live in a negative environment where you are driven to suicide. We want to begin by providing the resource for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, your safety is our biggest concern and please reach out to them at 1-800-273-8255 if you ever need.

    You mentioned being in horrible mental states and a good resources for assistance with that is an organization called NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) they can be reached at 1-800- 950-6264. Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone could take a lot of pressure off of your shoulders. If you would like to report this abuse by your father, please contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453, they are a great resources that can provide support through this tough time.

    We are absolutely here to help in any way we can and that can include discussing options such as figuring out ways to talk to family members or reach out to school personnel or other resources. We are available over the phone at 1-800-786-2929 or online at www.1800runaway.org and are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week and confidential. We hope to hear from you soon.


    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    hi,

    so i really cant stand my dad, im not saying that because of some petty acusation, he has been emotionally devastating me and my mother since i was about two. no lie. i hate the thought of him and i just don´t want to see him. is there anyone that can do anything!? he has put me in horrible emotional states and driven me to suicide attempts. please just help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us and telling us what you’ve been going through. It sounds like you’ve had a tough time with your mom. We’re sorry you’re going through a difficult time. We’re here to listen and help the best way we can.
    You mentioned that you’re scared of talking to your mum about living with your dad. Do you have any family members that can help you have this conversation with her? It might help to have another person there for support and to mediate if things get heated. If you don’t have someone that can help you, we offer conference calling between you and your mum. You could call in and we would reach out to your mum to set up the conference call. We would also lay some ground rules (no swearing, no yelling, etc.) so you could have a productive conversation. If that sounds like an option, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. If that doesn’t sound like an option you’d be comfortable with, have you thought about writing your mum a letter? That way you could talk your time and really make sure you get your thoughts down.
    If you feel like you need to talk, you can always reach out to us by calling or using our chat line. There might be other options available based on your situation. We are sorry that you’re having such a rough time. Good luck and stay strong!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Moving in with dad

    I want to live with my dad but I don’t know how to bring it up with my mum . She can be quite controlling and when I’m around her I feel like I can’t bring up the fact that I want to live with my dad or the fact that I’m unhappy because I feel as if she will tell me off . In a way you could say I’m scared of her . I’m 12 years old and my mum and dad got divorced when I was 6 and I didn’t get a choice in where I could stay . My dad really wants me to move in with him because he knows he’s missed half my life and he still wants to see me grow up and I want to live with him too . My mum and dad don’t get along that well as it ended badly for them so I don’t know how to bring up the fact I want to move in with my dad . Please help !

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    replied
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a very tough time. You don’t deserve to be emotionally abused or to be treated the way you described. Have you may be considered seeing a counselor? This may be something that you may consider speaking to your dad about. Also, you may want to consider reaching out to The National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline. The number to their confidential hotline is 1800-273-8255. Another option to maybe consider is discussing with your mom about your situation living with your father and if it’s possible for you to come live with her. You might also want to let her know that you don’t feel safe. We hope this was helpful. If you still feel like you need to talk and explore more options please feel welcome to reach back out to us via call, chat, or email. Thank you again.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am in the same situation! There's no drugs but lots of alcohol and even though I've never seen them get actually drunk, my dad leaves me with his girlfriend and she begins drinking at noon. They're very emotionally abusive and leave me to babysit two kids ages 10 and 7. I've tried to commit suicide multiple times and I really need help. I've been starved and humiliated for no reason at all. I cry every day. I have a lot of issues with acne and none of them do, so I have been told that I am not trying, that im lazy, and that I am a failure. Even though I am often deprived of food and water, I still can't lose weight and I have been called fat and ugly. I wear bright makeup to school to get attention bc I don't get any at his house. I have tried to tell him that his girlfriend is mean, but he doesn't listen and let's her treat me like a prisoner. I am also not allowed to have a door closed at any time, excluding the bathroom. Earlier, I caught her snooping around in my underwear drawer. I want privacy and safety, which I only find at my mom's house. I am 12.

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