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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • #76
    I want to live with my mom. She has had drug abuse in her past but has been clean for about 6-7 years. My dad refuses to let me leave, i'm miserable here with him. He is always drinking and is never home, with my mom i'm actually thought of and part of thing. Living with my dad makes me depressed and I never want to be home because of him and my step mom & her kids. My mom has two stable jobs and even has time for me when I see her, my dad works one job and still is never home or see's me. I've asked my dad and told him that I want to live with my mom several times in the past two years, he still refuses.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like your dad does not treat you well, and you so deserve to be treated well! It sounds like your mom is really helpful, and is able to be there for you despite working two jobs. If you are 18 or older, you can decide where you want to live. It sounds like you may be under 18, which means that you have to live where your legal guardian says you should. If this is the case, one option would be to reach out to a family lawyer, and see if your mom could get custody of you, or if she has it already. If you wanted help with this, feel free to call or chat us with more specific information, like your city and state. Our number I 1-800-786-2929, and our website is www.1800runaway.org. It is totally understandable if you don’t want to look into this, but we can do our best to find some options if you are interested.
      Another option might be to live with your mom without your dad's permission. Running away is not illegal, but your dad could file a police report, which means that if the police found you they would bring you home. If you stayed with your mom, she could possibly get in trouble for what is called “harboring a runaway”. We are not legal experts, but we could talk more about this if you wanted. Likewise, a family lawyer could give you more information.
      Another thing to think about is coping mechanisms. It sounds like your dad’s place is really not good for you, so one way to combat this is by finding things you enjoy and trying to do them. This could be something like reading, writing, or drawing, or maybe a club at school that you’re interested in. This is a really frustrating situation, and coping is one way to try to make it better.
      Please feel free to contact us anytime to talk more about what is going on. We are here 24/7, to listen and to help.
      NRS

  • #77
    I want to live with my mom but my mom is scared my dad will get angry and doesn’t want to deal with all the drama of it and I want to tell my dad and I know he’s going to get angry I’m 14 and I’m legally able to choose which parent I live with right?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time right now and we admire you reaching out for help.
      Without knowing the details of your parent’s custody agreement, it is difficult to determine whether or not you could legally go live with your mom. But you may be able to live with your mom if the custody agreement allows it and your dad gives his permission.
      Have you considered having another adult, whether it’s your mom, another relative, a teacher, or a coach, help you talk to your dad about living with your mom? Sometimes it is helpful to have someone else that you trust with you while you’re talking about difficult things.
      We offer a conference call service here that you might be interested in. You can call our hotline and talk to someone about what you’re going through, then we can conference call your dad and help you explain to him how you’re feeling.
      Also we aren’t legal experts here, so while we can’t speak in specifics about your situation, we may be able to help you find legal resources in your area that might be able to determine what you legally can do.
      Please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

  • #78
    I would like to like to move back with my mom. Im 17 years pld and about a year ago because of grades my dad pretty much made me stay with him and got full custody of me. For a while i was traveling with him for his job and doing online school, which involved staying in a hotel or rv all day while he was working. I, am currently living in his house in alabama with my stepmom and he is gone a lot of the time for his job. I am very close to finishing my junior year on online school with all a’s and b’s. I want to move back to my moms house where i have friends and do my senior year of school there. I want to move back because My dad is gone all the time, i have no friends here, and im just overall unhappy. My dad tells me that moving back is not an option and that im going to have to live with him. What can i do to move back to my moms

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey,
      Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in an incredibly frustrating situation and it’s completely valid that you would want to return to where you have friends and feel comfortable. We’re not legal experts, but if your father is unwilling to let you stay with your mom, another option would be to have your mom file for custody. Sometimes courts are willing to reassess custody if there’s a change in your situation (ex: if your dad isn’t home all that much and you’re unhappy). Since you are 17, you may also have a say in where you stay. Another option would be to ask your mom to give your dad a call and talk about the situation, as she may be able to convince him. Yet another option, if you think it’s the best option, is to leave home without your dad’s permission to stay with your mom (or to ask your mom to come pick you up). Though your dad has full custody, there is a possibility that the police would choose not to pursue you as a runaway because of your age and because you’re with your mother. Though again we’re not legal experts and can’t guarantee that the police would not pursue a runaway report if your dad filed one. In the end, you know your situation best and so hopefully one of these options will work for you. If you want to talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.

  • #79
    i want to live with my mom and see my mom on occasions but my dad refuses to let me because he says my mom doesn't watch me and she doesn't care about what i do, but the truth is my mom lets me have a life and she actually gives me freedom, but when i go to far she grounds me, and my dad on the other hand never lets me do anything, but he lets my sister do stuff only bc they like her boyfriend, here are some things they encourage my sister to do and the things they let her to do. well they let peyton my sisters boyfriend stay a night that is something my mom will never let happen even if she likes the boys me and my step sisters are with, and another thing they encourage her to have sex with him, and say its fine if they do thats them, im not going to lie i do alot of bad stuff when im at my dads and i do less stuff when im living with my mom bc she does watch and yea ive done some stupid things but that is everywhere i have been and, let me tell you things ive done at my dads i have a tattoo i snuck out and got it like 2 months ago and i have snuck out multiple times and i have smoked and drinked on the side of the house. but at my moms i would go to work with her every night and during the day i was with my step sister

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you really want to be with your mom and your step sister, and that you feel like your dad doesn't give you enough freedom. That is understandable and normal, and it sounds like your mom trusts you and treats you like an adult, especially if she is taking you to work.

      A lot of what you are describing sounds like pretty normal stuff for kids that are growing up. It may be a little more complicated, especially if you have a blended family and if your mom and dad are in seperate households. It definitely makes sense for you to want some freedoms and to feel heard.

      If you wanted to talk more about this situation to get some support, we are here and we can help. Feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or if you feel more comfortable you can reply to this message or try our online chat. Good luck!

  • #80
    My mom wants to make me move with my dad even though i she knows i don't wanna move just because i missed one class today she want to make me move what do i do for her to just give me a chance because i was thinking about running away again

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation with your mom. It can be really difficult having to move somewhere when you aren't comfortable doing that. You mention that you're hoping your mom will give you a chance and you're wondering what you can do. One option that might help is having a conversation with your mom about what she specifically wants to see on your side. This might be a good time for you to share what you need from her as well. It can be helpful sometimes to have a "family contract" explaining what you both agree to do so that you're both on the same page. It can also be useful to have another adult around to have that conversation with you both so that the conversation stays fair and productive. If you need help with that, you might consider asking a guidance counselor or a therapist. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference calling service and one of our trained liners can help you have that conversation as well. If you would like to do that, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929.

      You mention that you're thinking of running away again. While we're not legal experts, generally speaking you need to be 18 to leave home without your parents' permission. If you are under 18, your family would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police find you, they would return you home. That being said,it might be an option to stay with another friend or family member with your family's permission.

      If you ever need to talk to someone or need help figuring out your options, we're always here to listen and to help. Please feel free to give us a call 24/7. We hope that this message was helpful to you and we encourage you to give your honest feedback through the link below this post. Best of luck to you and stay safe!
      Last edited by ccsmod5; 02-13-2018, 08:31 PM.

  • #81
    I am 14 and live with my mom, she is very loving and kind but I am starting to have feelings that I should go live with my dad. 1.) because I need a fresh breath of air / change of scenery I’ve lived with my mom for years and want a new experience 2.) I want a fresh start at a new school, (living with my dad would allow that) 3.) I can spend more time with my little brother and sister. But I love my mom and I don’t know how to tell her I want to live with my dad without hurting her feelings.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re thinking about making some difficult decisions, and we hope that we can help you out. It makes sense that you’re looking for a change of scenery and also for new experiences. With growing up comes the need for independence, and how you wish to navigate that is up to you. You also mention wanting to spend time with your little brother and sister, which is admirable and positive. If you’re serious about trying to leave home, we have some relevant services for you. We are able to act as third-party mediators for youth who want to talk to their parents but don’t know how to say what they’re thinking. We can conference call with you and your mom and make sure that your voice is heard in the conversation. We also can help you figure out what you want to say to your mom in the first place. Even if you just need someone to talk to about your feelings regarding this situation, we are here to talk to you. Just give us a call, 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

      Hopefully this message was helpful. If you would like further information, then please give us a call. We wish you the best of luck.

      -NRS

  • #82
    I've been living with my mom for almost 6 years now. I just turned 14 yesterday. Since I'll be in high school next year I really want to live with my dad. But of course my mom's always making reason;s as to why I shouldn't live with him. Sometimes though it feels like my mom doesn't even treat me as her child more as a burden and I'm really tired of coming home from school thinking about what my mom's gonna be mad at me for. I just want to be with my dad knowing he'll actually take care of me

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are sorry to hear about the way your mom has been treating you. You shouldn't have to feel like a burden in your home. It sounds like you would like to move in with your dad but your mom doesn't want you to. You could try talking to your dad about the possibility of you moving in with him. Your dad could also contact legal aid to get custody of you. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource for information on how to transfer custody. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any other questions or just want to talk.

  • #83
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    I'm 15 about to be 16 in August. I want to live with my mom but my dad keeps denying it and giving me a really hard time saying i can't. I'm visiting my mom in Massachusetts sense it's summer , My dad lives in New York. I don't want to go back. It's really bad there there's a lot of emotional abuse and at a time there was physical. It makes me wanna die being there. I just want to stay here permanently. Can he make me come back once I'm 16? Or if I have to go back what can I do so I can move with her? I need answers ! PLEASE HELP AND TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET OUT OF MY DADS HOUSE.
    I have the exact same situation and I need to get out really soon. But I dont want to face my dad in court.

    Comment


    • #84
      I want to live with my mom full time but I have to go to my dads every Wednesday and every other weekend. My moms says there has to be an open case for me to talk to the judge. There are many reasons I don’t want to live with him anymore. Is there anyways I can talk to a judge without having an open case? Is there any way I can live with my mom for full time?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us. We appreciate you taking the time to explain about your situation.

        From what your email mentioned, you’re wanting to live with your mom full time. We’re not legal experts, but we have heard of courts allowing the youth to choose which parent the youth wants to live with. From what we know, it comes down to custody. If the parents you’re living with currently is your legal guardian, then they have say over where you live. If you leave home without your legal guardians permission, that is considered running away. Police will return you back home if they find you while on the run. If both of your parents have custody over you, it could make the decision making more flexible. We have legal aid resources in our database and they help youth free. They may know different options for you to be able to live with your mom, or represent you in court. If you’re interested in those resources, let us know and we will try our best to connect you with them.

        If you’d like to talk more about the options we listed, please don’t hesitate to call us. Our safeline is open 24/7.

        Best , NRS

    • #85
      I am 18 and my dad has custody of me but i want to go live with my mother and she is okay with it. will i get in trouble for moving in with her and not telling my dad?

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help it’s a real sign of maturity. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but in most states the age or majority is 18. (Nebraska 19, Alabama 20) This means that you are legally responsible for yourself and your parents/ guardians can no longer control what you do and where you go. On the other hand your parents/guardians are no longer required to provide you with food, shelter, or financial assistance anymore. We understand that becoming an adult is a big step and we want to make sure that you know that you are supported during this time. So yes it sould be okay for you to go and live with your mother.
        We hope this information helps,
        NRS

    • #86
      Im 15, and in my city, you can take your case to court when you turn 14. I want to live with my mom, but my dad wont let me. I want to talk to him about it, but im scared that he wont let me, and will hit me. He has threatened death, calls me a useless piece of ****. I recently got in trouble and got suspended for something kinda illegal, and my dad hates me because of it. the other day, he threw me to the ground and punched me in the head. Im really scared of what he might do to me if he finds out im writing this, and I dont know what to do.... help plz.
      Last edited by ccsmod16; 03-19-2018, 03:39 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello, thanks for reaching out today! It sounds like home is really stressful and unsafe right now. We are here to help and offer resources and options to help you keep yourself safer.
        Your safety is our priority! Child Help is an agency that can better define abuse and help you with next steps on how to make an abuse report (childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453) They can also give information on getting custody transferred to a safe adult like your mom. We can also conference call with you and make an abuse report if you would like to as we know that can be a scary step to take. We are open 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
        We can also provide you other resources like legal aid, counseling, and other youth services. Perhaps someone at school like a teacher or counselor can also help you if you feel comfortable talking about the abuse with them.
        Perhaps there is a social worker or resource officer or case manager from your dealings with the law or at school or for your custody case that could help you get custody transferred to your mom or someone else safe.
        You do not deserve to be hit and punched by your dad. We are here to help you and your safety is our first priority.

        Stay safe and reach out again via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or on our website’s live chat!

    • #87
      I need help!
      im not sure what to do, I am dating a girl and I am a girl. her mom is VERY homophobic! she keeps taking her phone, and are saying very mean things; "I'm choke the hell out of you", "I see evil in your eyes", "you're not my daughter.","I will beat you". she even goes as far as saying little things like; "you wanted jerk come over didn't you" , or tell her not to cry over me, and not be emotional in the house, she calls me a manipulator, a jerk, etc. she shows my girlfriend things and videos about peer pressure etc. my girl has become very sad and is different, she tells me she doesn't want to be alive anymore, or how she's empty, or how she can't cry and it hurts me.
      im not sure if I can do anything, or even her. she wants to move in with her dad but her mom has full custody and says no. she's in a terrible living situation I'm so scared she'll get hurt. she has never beat her or anything but she threatens it everyday, does this count as abuse?
      what can she do?
      she's 15 till April 9th, its march 20th

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        We’re glad you’re reaching out to us because we are here to help! It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a really difficult situation, so it’s really great that she has you in her life. It is very admirable of you to reach out for resources on her behalf.

        You mentioned that your girlfriend has said that she doesn’t to be alive anymore and that she is empty. Do you know how long she has been feeling that way or if she has been able to talk through those feelings with anyone? If she starts to feel like that again, please let her know that there are support systems out there that is available to her. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8225) provides 24/7, free and confidential support. Another resource is the Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386), they are a LGBTQ youth suicide lifeline. They have trained counselors there to support anyone that calls 24/7. Both of those resources have suicide in the name, but that isn’t all they deal with. They also offer counseling and help to anyone in need of support.

        You also asked if threatening counts as abuse, and some of the behavior you mentioned can be considered abuse. Threatening physical violence can be considered verbal abuse and can be reported to Child Protective Services, although those types of cases are more difficult to show to investigators. If there were other people that could advocate for your girlfriend, such as relatives or other trusted adults (perhaps her father), that could speak on her behalf while Child Protective Services, it could help her case. If you or your girlfriend would like more information on abuse reporting, Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline is available. Their number is 1-800-422-4453 and they could discuss the specifics of child abuse reporting.

        If she is uncomfortable with reporting the verbal abuse, there are other options available. While we are not legal experts, we can offer to connect you both to legal aid. They would be able to better assess your girlfriend’s situation, especially how to navigate moving in with her dad despite custody. We can look for local resources if you let us know what state your girlfriend is located.

        Beyond the support lines we mentioned before, there is also the LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7742 or the It Gets Better Project at https://itgetsbetter.org/get-help/. They can offer other resources, support, and stories.

        As we said, we are here to help, but are also here to listen. If you or your girlfriend wanted to talk through any of the options we mentioned, our hotline (1-800-786-2929) is 24/7 and confidential!

        Best of Luck

    • #88
      Hi I am 16 years old and I want to go back to joint custody With both of my parents.



      Growing up my parents always fought and then decided to have a divorce. so since my dad left I started thinking that my mother was the one who caused our family to separate. My father had brained washed me from when I was young *hes very convincing* that my mom was this "witch" the entire time--although she did do some things to me where she could have disciplined me differently, but now that I've gotten older to understand, she isn't always the best parent either. She was just perhaps hurt that I "took sides" and didnt bother to listen to her side of the story. Since the convincing story that my father presented to me at a young age changed the way I've thought about my mother, we'd had constant arguments with each other. Despite the arguments, we both still had a fun times such as, every year we'd go on vacation with the family, I'd always have conversations with her that I felt it was necessary to talk about in my life,a.k.a. "Counselor", i had many great times with friends around my moms area, went out, and you know, the fun teen stuff and I still felt comfortable. I feel like the reason our relationship was constantly on getting back to "bad terms" was not only because of her nagging obnoxious ways lol, but the young mentality that I had about her growing up. We, one day, gotten to an argument, which then turned a little physical and later lead her to call the police. Luckily enough, my dad was near the area to pick me up. I was fourteen at the time, and the court decided it was simply best for me to have my dad temporarily have custody of me until I go back, which is this sept. 18 of this year. I've been living with my dad for two years now and "the grass is not green on the other side". I've thought that things would've been better but now I see the importance of having a mom in your life. For ex, ever since I've left, I've even lost my virginity. Which demonstrates the impact from the absence of a "mother-figure". My fathers relationship has gotten weaker. I sometimes feel like half of the times I'm raising myself. I would need to do things that only a wife should do. Like am I even supposed to be washing his underwear? Am I supposed to be considered "the women of the house"? Do I have to look after his things when he's not here? And. Most times he's never home--yes he's working, but I feel deeply isolated from my friends in school. It's so severe that I even find myself talking to myself. I don't even have a phone so I don't even know what it is to interact with people besides seeing them face to face. He doesn't even want me on the house phone anyways and if I do, he has calls being recorded so he would often question who I'm talking to. He claims that healso have cameras in the house--he has one installed in the computer and tv-- and one outside the apartment so obviously he would know if I went out. I honestly feel like I'm being caged. I feel like he doesn't want me to interact with know one which is probably the reason why I didn't even have a sweet sixteen, while my mother was trying to plan one anyways. He's also not a promising persons either. I'm sick of it and I don't know if this is healthy as a teen or not. I miss having a mom where I can tell my things to--he wouldn't understand and get it if I talk to him, which is while we always lack communications with each other. I miss going out and stuff like that. And whenever i do something wrong he would Say that"ima dog" or "a piece of s$&t). when i asked if i Could he would deny it and state all the negative excuses why I can't. Yes my mom made mistakes but we just needed a break. Now I understand what she's talking about. My life had been so much better before, she's even planning things for me to get a job etc. and my father would deny it because that's be too much interaction etc. and he although have done a lot of me and still is so i still don't want to give him up just to be with my mom however, I feel like we emotionally, have problems. I'm sorry for the long paragraph but I HATE TO FEEL LIKE IM CAGED. HE'S VERY CONTROLLING AND OVERBEARING.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.

        It sounds like your parents are putting you in the middle of their issues, which isn’t fair for you and must be really stressful on you. You should have a say when it comes to which parent you’re going to live with. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. If your dad is the one with custody of you, being your legal guardian, he is the only one who can give you permission to live elsewhere. So that means that if you did leave to live with your mom, without his permission, he could report you as a runaway. If the police find you, they will return you to your custodial parent (which would be your dad).

        We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your dad about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you. Sometimes just being able to talk can be a way to open up the lines of communication, and see the best way that everyone can compromise.

        We have heard in some cases, where the judge will listen to the child’s input on which parent they would rather live with. You may want to ask your dad about that. We also have a database of legal aid resources, that help youth for free. If you wanted us to connect you with those resources, don’t hesitate call into our safeline.

        We hope our response is helpful. In addition, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

        Be safe, NRS

    • #89
      i want to move in with my mom. i'm 15 and live with my dad and stepmom. recently, (within maybe the last two and a half months), they've gotten abusive. we moved from north carolina to georgia at the end of october and it broke me. i'm exactly 252 miles away from the love of my life. we still talk to each other everyday, but it's not the same as seeing each other everyday. the stress of trying to fit in and make friends and make the cheer team has made me severely depressed and my anxiety been worse than ever in these past six months. i started self-harming in seventh grade. it got worse when we moved. my thighs are completely discolored now. my mom is a much better person than my dad and stepdad. she recently got remarried in november. my stepdad is amazing. i love both of them very much. i want to move in with my mom and stepdad but i'm scared to tell my dad and stepmom. i don't know how they'll react or if they'll slap me or choke me or something. help.

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi There,
        Thank you for getting in touch with us. You’ve gone through a lot lately. We’re sorry that you’ve felt unsafe around your dad and stepmom. Abuse is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
        From what you’ve shared, moving to a new state, missing the support and closeness of dear friends and family, and the pressures of navigating a new school are making things even tougher. Right now with everything that is going on, it is getting hard for you to manage the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced since middle school. If you ever wanted to talk to someone about self-harm you can try reaching out to https://twloha.com/
        You’ve shown a great deal of strength by reaching out. At the National Runaway Safeline, we’re happy to listen and help in any way that we can.
        A good idea could possibly be to talk to your mom about how you are feeling and see if maybe she can talk to your dad about everything. Maybe your mom could get him to loosen up a little bit and give you some more freedom. Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone could take a lot of pressure off of your shoulders. It seems like you’ve got some really great friends that care about you too, which is awesome.

        It sounds like you have a strong connection with your mother and stepdad. Have you shared with them at all about what is happening with your dad and stepmom? While we are not familiar with the specifics of your situation or the custody agreement in place, there are many options that can be explored together. If you want more details about available resources, or if you’d like to talk more about what you’ve been going through, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

        Remember, you are not alone. Best of luck!

    • #90
      Hi Im 16 and I struggle a lot living with my dad, I don't get along with my stepmom a lot and my dad always tells me that I can change it. But I have and I'm honestly so tired of trying to fix my relationship with her. I don't really like her and I respect and appreciate things she does for me like makes my food and does my laundry. But we dont communicate and my dad always make it my fault saying I don't talk to her. But she has emotionally abused me and a little bit of physical abuse, me but not bad. She took some of my clothes out of my closet, and she hides food from me. We just never got along I don't really like her, it sucks because she's a stay at home mom so I see her 24/7. So I like to stay in my room a lot because it's were i won't fight with her, and that makes her mad. Then i tell my dad the things i need/want and he tells me to talk to my stepmom. Ive been talkingto a boy for awhile and he says i cant have one if i cant talk to my stepmom, im just so annoyed with this. Then my dad wanted to move to a new state. So that ment a new school and it sucks he's working all the time and I'm home with my stepmom. I don't really have any friends at my new school, and I just want to move back with my mom so I don't have to feel this way anymore, and have a healthy relationship with my mom and be with my friends again. I keep asking my dad if i can live with my mom. But he just gets really mad, takes my phone and says I'm not leaving. I just can't do it anymore its emotionally draining. I tell my mom this and she tells me that she can get a attorney ,but that just puts a whole lot of stress on me. i dont want to do that to my dad because that will just make him even more mad. I don't like hurting his feelings, but i cant live here anymore. please help

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey,
        Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a tough position and we’re glad you’ve reached out. Based on your post, it sounds like you don’t want to live with your dad any longer and that your mother is willing to take your dad to court for custody of you. Given your relationship with your stepmother and recent move, it makes sense that you would want to live with your mom. It sounds like you’d like to live with your mom and that it would be a healthy move for you for a lot of reasons, so we’re glad this option is available to you. You’re clearly a very caring and empathetic person, so it makes sense that you don’t want to hurt your dad’s feelings. On the other hand, you deserve to feel safe, supported, and loved in your own home just as much as anyone else. Your feelings are just as important to consider. If you’re concerned about how your dad might respond, you might consider bringing the topic up to him with another adult around, like a guidance counselor or a therapist. Another option is to have your mom reach out to your dad to let him know that she plans to file for custody. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate conference calls, so please feel free to give us a call if you need help having a fair, calm conversation with your dad.
        Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
        Stay safe!
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