Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. it sounds like you really miss your mom and would somehow like to live with her instead of your dad. We are not legal experts and have no say in which parent to live with. We would however like to hear more about your situation so we might explore if there are any options you might have to try and work something out.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

I want to live with my mom but my dad want let me because he says that she is bad and don’t care for me but she do and I want to know what happens to my mom, I’m 13 finna be 14 I just miss my mom I have weird feelings like my dad hates my mom, lord please let me move back with my mom. I’m only 12 I want to move back with my mom but I’m just scared to tell my dad. Can you guys please let me move back with my mom? Please.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for contacting NRS,
We are so sorry for what you are going through. It seems as though you are struggling to get through the situation you are faced with. You mentioned wanting to go to your mom and trying to live with her. Unfortunately it does not seem like abuse but rather this seems like a legal battle. If you are with your dad it is probably because the court decided it would be best for you to live with them. So it becomes a custody battle of you. If you get the chance maybe emailing your mom over the computer as you did now might help. You can ask why your dad has custody of you and not her. It might be a good idea to ask your mom to find a lawyer who can help with your situation. As far as sending you to juvie they cannot send you to something like that unless you have broken the law. They are simply trying to frighten you.
If you feel you need to talk further with us please do not hesitate to call or use our chat option online as we don’t normally respond to second emails. Our call option is 1-800-786-2929 and you can find our chat option online at 1800runaway.org (click on the chat option). We hope you are able to find a quick solution to your predicament , NRS

I'm 13 and i've been wanting to live with my mom for the longest time now and shes ok with that but my dad wont let me. He says that i have no control over my life and that i cant make decisions like that and i get yelled at all the time because my dad and his girlfriend have very strict rules that i have a hard time following and i cant stay there anymore i don't know what to do because they aren't letting me out of the house and i have no way of contacting my mom because my dad destroyed my phone and i hate my step mom and now they are threatening me with sending me to juvie.

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

From what you shared, you have lived with both parents at different times and right now you are with your dad. It sounds like living with your mom full time is an issue of custody and most likely she would either have to work out an agreement with your dad or take him to court. We are not legal experts here at NRS, so we cannot say for sure how you would be able to live with your mom. Perhaps reaching out to your mom or another trusted family member will help you better understand the situation and have an advocate on your side. If you call our hotline or chat with us through www.1800runaway.org we can provide legal aide resources in your area. Speaking to someone with more knowledge of the legal issues involved, could better help you discover your possible options.

You mentioned that your dad is emotionally abusive toward you and this is not okay. The national child abuse hotline (1-800-422-4453 ; www.childhelphotline.org) is available 24/7 to provide support while you deal with this situation and they may be able to offer additional ideas for living with your mom.

We truly want to be a support for you while you navigate this difficult situation. Please do not hesitate to reach out anytime if you would like to talk more in detail and brainstorm some options together.

Good luck,
NRS

Throughout the years I have been back and forth living with my mom or my dad. This year living with my dad has been worse than it has ever been before. I have had real bad issues and I act out because of the emotional and mental abuse that I go through because of him. I really love my mom and want to live with her for good but my dad said I am not going to ever until I am 18. My mom just moved to Arizona and I live in ohio. Its killing me to live here I am abused emotionally every day all the time by everyone I live with. How can I live with my mom? Please help

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

You mentioned that you want to leave your dad and step mom’s house, and move in with your mom. You’re really brave for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re in difficult situation, and we are here to help. An option to explore would be to reach out to your mom, and let her know what’s going on at home with your dad that you want to live with her instead. You may also explore the option to talk with your dad, and letting him in on why you think that your stepmom hates you. You both may talk things out, and your dad may hear what you have to say.

If you are every feeling unsafe in your home, you can text the word safe and your location to 44357. The National safe place will text you a location to go to, and a case worker will be out to assist you. Safe places very by city and state, and if you want to know if there’s a safe place in your area, you can input your address in their website at the nationalsafeplace.org.

Thank you once again for reaching during this difficult time. We hope these resources could be of some use to you. Please don’t hesitate to call us anytime at 1800) 786-2929, and we can reach out to other resources on your behalf. Best of luck!

I want to move with my mom but my dad won't let me and my step mom hates me i'm about to be 12 and i really want to live with my mom so i need your help what do i do how do i help

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad’s house is an incredibly stressful. Custody arrangements are usually decided by the people involved and their lawyers so if you haven’t already spoken to your mom about trying to change the custody arrangement, it might be a good idea to start there.
We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally, if you are under the age of 18 you are still under the custody of a legal guardian. It’s not illegal to run away from a legal guardian, but your mother could potentially get in trouble for allowing you to stay with her if her custody was revoked. If you haven’t already, you could consider talking with your case worker about your situation. We also have legal aid resources if you have more questions about the specific laws in your state.
It’s good that your mom has changed but if you still have fear that she may revert back that might not be the safest environment either. Sometimes talking about how you are feeling with a guidance counselor, friend of the family, or therapist. We also offer conference calling if you want support and decide to talk to your dad about what you are feeling those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you would like you can call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or live chat with us at www.18000runaway.org and we can listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

I want to lie with my mom and im 13 do I have a say.


There was a time where my mom was abusive and cps had to get involved and she lost custody of us. She didn't have full custody, but we got to her. After I stopped seeing my mom, I had to spend more time with my father. I thought it would be a good thing, but over the year, things started to get worse. My dad will say things to me saying, " If I wanted to see my mom, why did I say anything in the first place when she was hitting "me. I see my mom 10hrs twice a month and I get to talk to her. My mom changed I feel more comfortable in her house than in mine. I always have this fear I don't know how to explain it but home doesn't feel like home most of the times I wish I didn't have to go with my Father and his wife all the time. My father as well lives in Mexico so we cross the border every day and it gets exhausting and when we ask if we can live in the states he gets mad and say no because it's what he says and he's the one the bosses. The tension in our house has also gotten bad we have had an argument for weeks straight or it argument after argument and it gets harder every day. I really want to know what I can do because I can’t stand living in this house anymore.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

I'm only 13 and my dad has a wife my step mom and she has been verbally abusive in a case once made me want t hurt myself and when she does it she calls me all this stuff and says I'm a failure and how she doesn't like me. Though my dad hears this stuff and knows I tried to t myself because of her he does nothing let's her do it and it's been happening for I would say 5 years. I want to live with my mom but he won't let me and honestly I need a way out of here I feel alone at times like my dad doesn't care that she hurts me and makes me feel like nothing. I have thought of how he might feel upset but he can't blame he doesn't help me with my problems. I have a half sister and she curses my step mom out flips her off and tells her to leave her alone and she doesn't have to listen and my step mom never hurts her because it's her child. If I were to do that to her she would attack me push my stomach and spit on me and call me names but does my dad see it and help leave her NO! I'm stuck and I need help because at this rate I would leave and go with my mom in a heart beat the only problem is she lives Colorado and I live in Vegas any advice please respond and help.

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are in a frustrating situation. It must be hard to try and talk to your dad about how you are feeling and have him keep down playing how you feel. If you ever want to talk with someone about how you are feeling you can contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI. Also if you want to talk with someone who may understand what you are going through contact Trans Lifeline at 1877-565-8860.
It’s good that you at least have your mom and stepdad who support you. Maybe you can try having a conversation with them about how things are going at your dad’s and you can come to an understanding about how to move forward. Sometimes talking to loved ones about how you are feeling can alleviate some of the stress because they can go over some options with you. Also talking to friends or family can help you feel supported. If you want to us to assist you in starting the conversation with your mom, you can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY and we can do a conference call. Its tough being in a household were you are not valued and constantly feel like you are being yelled at. If you want to continue to talk through your situation you can always contact us. We are 24/7 and here to help. Best of luck!

Hello!
I am a 13 year old transboy and I live with my father. However, I am quite unhappy with my living conditions. I want to live with my mother, but my dad always says no. The last time I asked he screamed at me for what felt like hours. I didn't bring it up again. I have plenty of reasons for why I want to live with my mother.
For starters, I feel much more comfortable with my mom and stepdad. I see my stepdad as almost a real father, and I can actually have a conversation with them without any yelling or insults getting involved. I have developed depression because of being at my dad's. He basically brushed this aside as if it was nothing, and it really hurt. My mom takes care of us more than my dad does. My dad always disregards how I feel and pretty much tells me "There's gonna be negativity whether you like it or not, you should just socialize more"
Which, it's not that simple. My stepmom and her kids are demons. Try to talk with them and you'll always get insulted. It has affected me a TON and I want out. Please help!

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It's great to hear that you and your mom get along so well and have a good relationship. Custody and visitation agreements can often times be complicated and may involve lawyers and visits to family court. If your mom does not currently have a lawyer you two can go to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/ to find legal aid groups in your area.

It sounds like your dad is not open to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about not seeing your mom. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS