Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[Guest]

I want to move in with my dad for a temporary amount of time. Is it possible without the court's consent, but my mom has given a yes?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We appreciate you posting on our forum and we hope our response will be helpful.

Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, so we can’t say what the court would do. Your mom is your legal guardian and if she gives consent for you to move in with your dad, which should be okay. She should be able to decide where you’re allowed to live or not live, not the courts. Unless the courts decided that your dad is an unfit parents, or something along those lines. Your mom, or if she has a divorce lawyer, should be able let you know if it’s possible or not.

Sorry that we couldn’t give an exact answer, we’re just not experts on the law and wouldn’t want to give you an answer that we’re not 100% sure on. We’re always here if you need to talk and we’re open 24/7!

Best, NRS

[Guest]

ok so my dad left at birth and my mom got full custody my dad's allowed to see me but he has to have one of the people my mom allowed and i want to move in with him but my mom says no and i cant run away to his house cause its to far. what should i do?????

[ccsmod16]

Hello, thank you for reaching out today. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation with a lot going on with both your mom and dad.
It is understandable that you want to spend more time with your dad and maybe live with him. It can be frustrating when you want to live with your dad but your mom says no. It is smart of you to think about the logistics of running away. You are obviously not rushing into decisions, which is smart.
We are not legal experts, but from what we know, if a youth (under 18 in most states) leaves without parental consent (mom in your case), the parent can file a runaway report. It is not illegal to runaway but is a status offense and your mom could let the police know you are gone. So if the police were to find you, they may return you back to your mom. Also, any adult you stay with could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense for that adult.
It sounds like you have talked to your mom about this already and she said no. If you are wanting to live elsewhere, perhaps asking your mom if living with another family member could be an option. Maybe you have a friend, neighbor, grandparent, aunt or uncle you would feel comfortable staying with for a while. If you would like help talking to your mom, we do offer conference calling where we would serve as an advocate for you on the phone. Sometimes having a third party can ease some tension in tough conversations. You could always ask another trusted adult for help in talking to your mom too.
If you would like to discuss more options or pursue a conference call, we are available 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We understand it can feel really frustrating to have fewer options until you are 18. We are here to listen and help you in any way we can. Please call or live chat with us on our website.
Best of luck with your living situation!

[Guest]

so theres nothing i can do till i'm 18?

[ccsmod16]

Hi, it looks like you posted twice. See our response above!

[Guest]

My mom won’t let me live with my dad. And I can’t run away cause my dad is soo far away and I can’t drive yet and I don’t know what to do

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It sounds like you don't like living with your mom and would rather live with your dad instead. We are sorry about whatever you're going through at home that is making you feel that way. We understand how living with someone you do not want to live with may make you feel frustrated and upset.

If you would like to live with your dad you may want to consider talking to him about it. Depending on how custody works between him and your mom, you may be able to stay with him. You can reach out to him and ask him about who has full custody of you and if he would be willing to take you in. If he does not have custody of you he can go to court and try to get custody of you, which would make it so that you could live with him.

If you need anything else or just want to talk more about what you're going through please feel free to reach out to us again! We are 24/7 and our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Someone would be more than happy to help you out as best as we can.

[Guest]

I'm 12 and my dad is very abusive. He is always putting me down. I wasn’t to live with my mom but my dad is rich as hell. I have brought this to court but He doesn't care. I have called the police multiple times. They don't believe me. I'm really scared of him. I have been trying to leave since I was 10. I know I seem young but my dad is crazy. I also have child support but they couldn't do much. He just got married! (Again) He drinks every day! Takes a bunch of pills. With his new wife, he is crazier than ever. He said if I do not keep my door open, he will rip it out. And he hit's me. Like a slap, or a push. He is an abusive speaker mostly. Which means he criticizes me abusively. (Sorry about my spelling.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I'm 12 and my dad is very abusive.

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. You might also consider this situation with your mom. Perhaps there are some legal actions she might explore.
If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore options please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or live chat with NRS at www.1800Runaway.org

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to move in with my mom really bad. I am not happy at my dads house. He is always working. By the time he gets home we have to be in bed. He never physically abususes me and he never would. He smokes marijuana right in front of me. Whenever i bring up the subject he just gets mad and says no. He wont actually listen or take me seriously. I have a good life at my moms. I see her on weekends. I do volonteer work at my church amd the schools are great. Can you give me advice on how to convince my dad to let my mom have custody.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us, we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legally trained here so we can’t give you any specific answers, but we can try to help you locate resources and discuss your other options. It was very brave of you to reach out to us.

You asked how you could go live with your mom, but it sounds like your dad has the main custody of you, is that correct? It also sounds like you get to see your mom on weekends, your mom may be able to go to court and try to get more custody. Again, we aren’t legally trained here so we wouldn’t be able to give you any specific details, but you may need to speak with an attorney. They would probably be better able to answer legal questions and give you specific answers about your options. We do have legal aid resources in our database, we’re happy to look those up if you’d call into our safeline.

Since we’re non-directive, we can’t give out advice. We do offer conference calling options between youth and their parents. You mentioned that your dad doesn’t listen to you or take you seriously, that sounds really frustrating. If you wanted to use our conference calling option, you would call into our safeline and we would call your dad together. If going to live with mom isn’t an option, do you know what you might do? Have you told anyone at school or any other adults how you are feeling? Sometimes, talking with people can help you feel better and help find other resources that may be available to you.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us via our forum! We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call. We also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week if you would prefer talking with someone that way instead.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 and I live with my grandparents right now and have for two years. I want to live with my mom, but they won't let me. I have plenty of reasons as to why I do not want to live here anymore.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I am 14 and I live with my grandparents

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

Sometimes things can become so overwhelming that it is hard to know what to do about them. It sounds like you no longer want to stay with your grandparents but would like to stay with your mother.
It seems that they are not in agreement with your wish.
That probably has been frustrating for you. We would be interested to hear what has been going on with your situation.

Sometimes talking things out can lead to some options not yet thought of.
If you would like to talk more about your situation you are welcome to contact us through 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (Live chat).

We are here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 but I’ll be 16 on the 20th of this month and I want to live with my dad. But my mama won’t let me. She an emotional wreck and it’s to much for me to handle. I have a 10 year old sister that wants to live with our dad too but I don’t want to hurt my moms feelings she’s very emotional and all of her kids wanted to move out with our dad. Her boyfriend is verbally abusive and controlling and it hurts me because she makes me talk to him when I don’t like him and he tried to put his hands on me and he has put his hands on my little sister before. She said even if I wanted to leave I couldn’t because she has full custody over me and my little sister but that’s hard to believe because my brother moved with our dad when he was 16 but our dad didn’t sign me and my sisters birth certificate so what should I do?

[ccsmod10]

First of all, thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like a pretty tough situation you’re in, and taking that first step and reaching out can be really tough. It can’t be easy for you dealing with this, so we definitely want to help and provide some options.

You mentioned your mom’s boyfriend and that he has tried to put his hands on you, and he has put his hands on your little sister before. It’s never ok to hurt a child, under any circumstance. If he is hurting you or your sister, you can report this to the police and/or child protective services. If we know your information, we can help with reporting this too.

In terms of living with your dad, we aren’t legal experts here, and also don’t know the specifics of the custody agreement that your parents have. Without knowing any of this, we really can’t guide you on moving with him. Maybe you could try to have another conversation with your mom? Are there some friends or other adults and family you could maybe talk to as well? Sometimes it helps to also get involved with school activities or hobbies to help take your mind off things. Talking more to your dad could be an option. We also offer a conference call service if you call us, and where we could see if maybe we could help with the situation by talking to you and your mom.

Hopefully these are a couple options that might work for you. If you are being hurt, please strongly consider reporting this, as we mentioned earlier. We are here 24/7 if you want to call us also and talk more. We are a confidential service. We’re here to listen, and here to help.

Best of luck!

[Guest]

I am 14, live with my mom and want to live with my Dad and step mom, My mom isn't home when I get home from school and goes to town alot and leaves me home alone. I see my dad every other weekend, but want to spend more time with him and do things that dads and sons do . How do I make this happen?

[ccsmod6]

Hi
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are alone a lot and wanting to be with Dad. This is a tough situation and completely normal! We have some resources that might be able to help out so let’s see what options you have.
With the limited information provided, you might have done this already, but have you tried talking to Dad and Mom about how you feel? If you want to talk through what that conversation would look like or have someone here mediate the conversation over the phone, please call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
There are legal resources as well. While we are not legal experts here at National Runaway Safeline, we have a database with resources that may be helpful. Again give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us over the website and we can provide those resources.
Hopefully this is helpful. We are really glad you reached out to use. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

I want to live with my dad but my mom won't let me.

[ccsmod10]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation, but we are glad that you are brave enough to reach out for help when you need it.

You mentioned that you want to live with your mom, but your dad will not let you. Again, we are sorry to hear about this, this must be a tough situation for you. We have some options that may be helpful for you. One option is to give us a call at our 24 hour crisis hotline, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. We offer a service called a conference call, this is basically a three-way call where we can reach out to your dad and talk to him about the situation. The way it works is: you call us and then we call out together to your dad and try to come to an agreement on the situation. We would be on the line with you to provide you with moral support and to ensure the call remains calm and productive. We may also be able to get some more information from you and provide you with better, more focused resources and options. If you do not wish to call us, you can start a live chat with us online. We may also be able to provide you with legal aid resources if that is the route that you would like to go. We hope this information is helpful.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us. We hope the options we offered are helpful. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or start a live chat with us online. We are here to listen, we are here to help.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I am 14 I been living with my mom in Nebraska for 1 my dad has full custody of me and I love living with my mom my dad wants me back to lock me up because I can’t live with my dad I did sexual things to stepmom and my mom Voluntarily terminated her rights to me in Minnesota in 2012 and I don’t want to get back with my dad they abuse me all the time and my sister too Minnesota won’t do anything if they make me go back I will kill my self and my dad he don’t care about my all he cars about is his abuse wife who hits us and I will run away please somebody help me stay with my mom

[ccsmod10]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us. It sounds like staying with your dad was a stressful and unsafe living environment, it is understandable that you would want to stay with your mom. You do not deserve to be abused by anyone, especially not in your home.

First, know that your life is valuable and if you ever feel like killing yourself you can talk to someone who may make you feel better. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24 hours a day and have people that you can talk to who are trained to helping you feel better. You can call them at 1-800-273-8255.

You mention wanting to stay with your mom even though your dad wants you back. It doesn’t sound like your mom has any custody of you. If you are interested in trying to change your custody, we can refer you to legal aid that may be able to help you with that process. Feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to get connected to a lawyer who may be able to provide you more information on how you can stay with your mom.

This must be a difficult situation to be dealing with, but we appreciate you reaching out to us. Good luck and please call if you want to talk more about anything we discussed here.

[Guest]

I have always wanted to live with my mom. Today i just git really sad cause i was used to seeing her and now everytime i even look at a picture i start to cry i feel like my dad and my step mom dont like me and i feel very uncomfortable around my mom and i know this is personal but my moms trying to get me back but she does not have a car so she cant get me all the time someone please

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

We're sorry to hear that you are missing your mom and that you feel like your dad and step mom don't like you. Have you had conversations with your dad to see if they would let you stay with your mom? We have a conference cal service here at NRS where a liner facilitates a conversation between you and a parent so that you could voice your feelings safely and hopefully come to some sort of resolution. Let us know if that is something you would be interested in. We're also here over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat at www.1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about your situation. We could help you think through who you could reach out to for support or things you could do to cope while you're not at your moms.

Don't hesitate to reach out to us so we can best help you,

NRS