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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I really want to live with my dad. i just don't know how to tell my mom since shes abusive and black. I hate it here.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-08-2020, 12:47 AM.

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be a possibility if you stay with your mom and she doesn't have custody of you. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. I am sorry they haven't been more helpful with your situation in the past. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So I am 16 and live in Washington state with my father, fathers girlfriend and half-sibling, my mother lives in Arizona but will be moving to Florida soon and I would like to live with her, things were ruff with her when i was growing up because she was suisideal after she lost custody of me and got into an abusive relationship adn it was toxic for about 9 years, however they broke up2 years ago and now she has a job and is going to school and has really turned her life around, I have not talked to my father about it because I am not sure how he would react, my dad has been dating this girl for about 13 years and shes really emotionally abusive towards me, they had a kid 8 years( half-sibling ) ago and she does not treat us equally, she disciplines me by making me write sentences, grounding me, hitting me and bribes me to tell her things by taking my phone, she body shames me then coddles me after when she sees I'm upset and says she only does it because she loves me... and when I tell my dad he only says its because she loves and she lies to him when I tell him what really happens when he's not home. I have told my mother numerous times what happens and she has filed papers to CPS and they do investigations but nothing ever happens. I really want to live with my mother because I am done with emotional abuse and body shaming. I have done hours of research on emancipation and it might be something ill look into if my father denies my request to live with my mother and if the judge denies my mothers request for custody. how can I present my request to my father? and what if it doesn't work? what would be my next steps?

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It can be really hard to open up to your parents when you aren't sure what the response will be and sometime's it's helpful to have someone else advocate for you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Me too I want to live with my mom but I am to sacred to ask him for some reason I say I going to tell him and at the end of the day I to sacred to ask him I don’t know why I am scared to ask him

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. . It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional abuse does get overwhelming and you deserve to be getting some help with it. It sounds like your step mom has been the only positive or comfortable environment for you recently and you would rather live there which is totally understandable.

    We are not legal experts, and we cannot say for sure what might happen at your future court hearing. It could be helpful to ask if you will have a guardian ad litem or a court advocate there to speak on your behalf. If you do have one, this would be a good person to speak to about your concerns and what you feel would be best for your well-being since their job is to advocate for you and your needs. Perhaps speaking to your step-mom about this would help as well to find out if she is able to help in any way. We can refer you to a legal aid resource if you would like to speak with a lawyer before this court hearing in order to learn more about what to expect and what concerns you should be bringing up.

    We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time and provide any resources you might need (i.e.legal aid). You can contact us directly anytime by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe and good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 15 and I use to live with my dad but there was too much emotional abuse and it was making me self harm then I refused to go home with him and have been living at my grams for years now but that hasn't been any better. I've always wanted to live with my step mom but then they made me stop going there on weekend because of the fact I was happy there. Next week I have to go to court for missing so much school and the judge sent a letter saying there is a high chance of me being put in foster care. But I don't know what to say to judge or anything to see if I would be able to live with my step mom. I just don't know what to do anymore please help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like what you are going through is abuse. If you are in immediate danger, we encourage you to call 911.
    You do not deserve to be hit. No one deserves to be treated like that. We are here to support you and want you to know that you are not alone.

    One option you have is reporting the abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). We understand that this may be a really difficult decision, but if it is something you are interested in, we could help you make that call or support you through the entire process if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If a child abuse report is taken, your local child protective branch can decide to investigate, which could potentially lead to removal following the discovery of abuse in the home.
    There is an organization called Child Help that advocates for young people in unsafe situations at home. Child Help has a National Child Abuse Hotline that you can reach by calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them on their website at (childhelp.org). They may be able to help you brainstorm some options and they can also support you in making a child abuse report if you decide you would like to.

    If you would like to talk more about your situation in depth, please give us a call or chat with us through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7, confidential, and here to listen and help however we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to see my mom but my dad keeps me from her


    So my dad is a drunk and beats me he has left bruises and has cut my ear from pulling so hard and has also fractured a rib i need help I'm 14 and I just can be here anymore my mom just called today asking if she can see me my dad said no right away and said if she comes he will murder her I need help I'm abused every god damn day thank u

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. it sounds like you really miss your mom and would somehow like to live with her instead of your dad. We are not legal experts and have no say in which parent to live with. We would however like to hear more about your situation so we might explore if there are any options you might have to try and work something out.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my mom but my dad want let me because he says that she is bad and don’t care for me but she do and I want to know what happens to my mom, I’m 13 finna be 14 I just miss my mom I have weird feelings like my dad hates my mom, lord please let me move back with my mom. I’m only 12 I want to move back with my mom but I’m just scared to tell my dad. Can you guys please let me move back with my mom? Please.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-14-2020, 12:51 AM.

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for contacting NRS,
    We are so sorry for what you are going through. It seems as though you are struggling to get through the situation you are faced with. You mentioned wanting to go to your mom and trying to live with her. Unfortunately it does not seem like abuse but rather this seems like a legal battle. If you are with your dad it is probably because the court decided it would be best for you to live with them. So it becomes a custody battle of you. If you get the chance maybe emailing your mom over the computer as you did now might help. You can ask why your dad has custody of you and not her. It might be a good idea to ask your mom to find a lawyer who can help with your situation. As far as sending you to juvie they cannot send you to something like that unless you have broken the law. They are simply trying to frighten you.
    If you feel you need to talk further with us please do not hesitate to call or use our chat option online as we don’t normally respond to second emails. Our call option is 1-800-786-2929 and you can find our chat option online at 1800runaway.org (click on the chat option). We hope you are able to find a quick solution to your predicament , NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 13 and i've been wanting to live with my mom for the longest time now and shes ok with that but my dad wont let me. He says that i have no control over my life and that i cant make decisions like that and i get yelled at all the time because my dad and his girlfriend have very strict rules that i have a hard time following and i cant stay there anymore i don't know what to do because they aren't letting me out of the house and i have no way of contacting my mom because my dad destroyed my phone and i hate my step mom and now they are threatening me with sending me to juvie.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

    From what you shared, you have lived with both parents at different times and right now you are with your dad. It sounds like living with your mom full time is an issue of custody and most likely she would either have to work out an agreement with your dad or take him to court. We are not legal experts here at NRS, so we cannot say for sure how you would be able to live with your mom. Perhaps reaching out to your mom or another trusted family member will help you better understand the situation and have an advocate on your side. If you call our hotline or chat with us through www.1800runaway.org we can provide legal aide resources in your area. Speaking to someone with more knowledge of the legal issues involved, could better help you discover your possible options.

    You mentioned that your dad is emotionally abusive toward you and this is not okay. The national child abuse hotline (1-800-422-4453 ; www.childhelphotline.org) is available 24/7 to provide support while you deal with this situation and they may be able to offer additional ideas for living with your mom.

    We truly want to be a support for you while you navigate this difficult situation. Please do not hesitate to reach out anytime if you would like to talk more in detail and brainstorm some options together.

    Good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Throughout the years I have been back and forth living with my mom or my dad. This year living with my dad has been worse than it has ever been before. I have had real bad issues and I act out because of the emotional and mental abuse that I go through because of him. I really love my mom and want to live with her for good but my dad said I am not going to ever until I am 18. My mom just moved to Arizona and I live in ohio. Its killing me to live here I am abused emotionally every day all the time by everyone I live with. How can I live with my mom? Please help

    Leave a comment:

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