Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[Guest]

Hi, I'm a 16 year old guy from Florida. I was born in venezuela and moved to America from about 4 years ago. I live with my mom and step dad in South Florida, they want to send me back to my old country and also want me to live with my real dad in Venezuela who i havent seen or talked to since him and my mom got divorced. I do not want to go back because I want to go to school and graduate here in America and hopefully have a career in the Future. I also don't want to go back because venezuela is going through a really hard moment with its economy and government right now.


I'm still a teenager and I'm wondering if I have the right to live with my mom even tho she wants me to go back with my dad who I don't like. I'm wondering if I can stay here until I graduate, have a job and be an independent person. Thank you!

[ccsmod4]

Reply:Hi, I'm a 16 year old guy from Florida.

Hello,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We are sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds like things have become quite frustrating for you.
Unfortunately your situation is one that may require a legal expert in immigration and custody issues.
We do not have legal experts at NRS. You might consider locating a legal aid service in your area to seek information about your options.
You are welcome to contact NRS for assistance in trying to locate legal aid services in your area.

Give NRS a call at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (Live Chat).

We are here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

bro im 15 my dad doesnt even have aloud to see me but my mom allows it she has full custody but she lives off the government and drug dealers are all over the area a lot of nights i dont even get anything to eat but at my dads its the opposite i want to live with my dad and never have to see my mom again

[ccsmod4]

Reply:

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are quite unhappy about living with your mom and would probably like to live with your father.
Some situations can become stressful and frustrating but you did well reaching out to NRS today.
Good job.

We would like to know how you were hoping we might assist you with your situation.
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
If you would like to speak to someone about what has been going on contact NRS.

To contact NRS you can call or chat at 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

OK so I hate my life with my mom and dad my mom's trying to make me move back with her but I don't want to im not happy with my mom but I'm also not happy with my dad, if you wanted to go live with your friends parent and they say yes how can you legally live with them

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,
Glad you reached out to us. It can be really difficult to talk about these types of issues, and we are so sorry to hear that you are caught between two living situations you aren’t happy with.
It sounds like you are considering alternative options and weighing out what decision will be best moving forward. One option you asked about is whether you can legally move in with a friend if your friend’s parent is okay with it. We aren’t legal experts here, but we can tell you what we’ve learned from experience.
If you are over 18 years old, you can move out legally any time in most states. However, if you are under 18 years old, your parents/guardians do get the final say on where you live. So, if they are okay with you living with your friend, then you should legally be able to do that without problems.
If they aren’t, then things can be a little trickier, but there may still be options. Depending on your age, one thing you can look into is the emancipation process. It varies state-to-state, but we are happy to provide you with resources for your area if interested.
Another option might be asking your parents if you can move in with another relative/family member they might feel more comfortable with. If there is someone like that in your family, it might be worth asking them about it.
If you are thinking of moving out without their permission, that is always an option, but it is good to think through a few things first. Parents/guardians do have the right to file what is called a ‘runaway report’ if their child leaves without them saying it is okay. It won’t get you into legal trouble, but it would likely mean that police would look for you and bring you back home if they find you. Their goal is usually to reunite families and figure out what is going on that made the youth run away. Parents can also file a ‘harboring a runaway report’ against an adult that lets you stay with them. This can sometimes carry legal consequences for that adult.
Not all parents respond to their child leaving by filing these types of reports, but it is just good to know that it is a possibility.
There may also be youth shelters you could stay in without parental permission, depending on your age and state you live in. We are happy to look into that with you too.
To talk through these or other ideas you have in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us via our 24/7 hotline number at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via our chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
Best of luck,
National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

[Guest]

i want to live with my dad but my mom wont let me i just want to build chemistry with my dad i will 18 in feb..

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us today. We're sorry you're having a difficult time with your living situation at the moment. It sounds like you're 17 and will be 18 in February, so you have a couple of options.

So normally when someone leaves home before the age of 18 they could be considered a runaway if their parent files a runaway report for them. Running away is not illegal, but it is considered a status offense. This means that the police would be looking for you and would have to bring you back home if they found you. You would not get arrested and it would not go on your record, though.

When it comes to leaving your mom's house to go live with your dad the situation might be a little bit more complicated. We are not legal experts, but this situation really depends on who has custody of you, if your parents have joint custody, and things along those lines. What you can do is try and figure out how exactly the custody between your parents works. Depending on that the police may have different responses and may let you stay with your dad.

We apologize for not having a more straight forward answer, but sometimes situations can be a little tricky and depend on a lot of different factors. If you want to talk more about what you're going through please don't hesitate to reach out to us again. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 and someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way we can.

We wish you the best of luck with everything!

[Guest]

Im 14 almost 15 in august and i want to live with my mom but everytime i try to move in with her my dad always gets my mind off it so that i wont and so that i wont leave him but i want to live with my mom it woulf make me happy and my dad doesnt see that it makes me happy shouldn't he want what makes me happy even if it doesnt have him in the picture and i know it will hurt him because he has had me and my brother for 7 years and i barely get to see my mom only on holidays or special events and im a 14 year old girl and every gurl needs her mom i need my mom i have gone so long without a mom and its time for me to have a special bond with her do you think my dad should say yes and let me be with my mom for a few years

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for writing us! We’re here to listen and here to help. It sounds like you miss your mom, and that you think that she can be of special help to you as you are maturing and getting older. It also seems like your dad may not see your perspective. It is great that you realize that while you love your dad, you crave attention and affection that only a mother can give. It also must be frustrating to want to really be with the parent you think can be most useful to you at this time in your life.

Does your dad have custody over you, and your mom does not? We are not legal experts. However, we can connect you to someone who could answer any legal questions you may have. If your dad has custody over you, it could be that the judge/court decided that this was in the best interest of you and your brother. If you were to leave and go with your mom without the approval of your dad (who may be your only legal guardian) or the courts, it could create more problems for you and your mom, if she wants to request custody of you again in the future. Go to the following website if you want to learn more about finding the legal aid source nearest to you:

http://www.findlaw.com/

If your mom and dad both has custody/guardianship over you, and he is just not letting you see her, that is another issue. If you ever wanted to share your feelings with your dad, we have a conference call option that may be useful to you. In parent conference calls, youth 3-way calls between them, their parents, and us in order to give you the space to effectively communicate and feel comfortable telling them how you feel. When we do conference calls, the youth comes up with rules and guidelines for how s/he wants the call to go.

We would love to provide you with individualized support, and invite you to call us or chat with us. We hope you will contact us soon. We wish you the best!

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 17 and i will turn 18 in November. we've lived with our mom since 2010 and the past 2 years we have lived with our dad. he took us away from her but they didn't actually go to court. their lawyers talked. He scares me, when he gets really mad he will scream at the top of his longs and get close to me. The other day he took my phone away. He snatched it out of my hand and last time he did that he almost broke my wrist. He has bad anger problems. The only other time he would hurt me was a few years ago and he slapped me in my face. I tried to call my mom to tell her what he had done and he chased me and pushed me down and squeezed my wrist and took the phone away. he didn't let me contact her. My mom got a new place and she will move in on July 15, i want to live with her, he tells me that i cant and if i do it behind his back i will regret it and wish that i never made that choice. He also gets very mad and mentally abusive when i tell him that when i am 18 i am moving out and i'm going to college far away from him. Anyways, my question is, am i allowed to live with my mom? Would i get in trouble if i did?

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for contacting NRS, we are glad you contacted us. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it must be tough. Although, we are not legal experts, but as far we can understand from your situation, that the court did not give official custody to one of your parents. So, if that is the case, your mom might still have custody for you, which will make it perfectly legal for you to move in with her. However, you said that the lawyers talked, maybe if you can try to know what was the agreement between the lawyers, you will be able to know who has full custody of you, or if it is shared with both of them. If you feel abused by your father, you can call the police or call an adult such as a trusted relative or a school counselor about your situation. You can learn more about reporting abuse by contacting the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. They might help you in your situation and can ease the process of moving to your mother. If you feel you want to talk more about your situation, or have more resources, feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or cat with us on our website.

We are open 24/7 and we will glad to help you, so please reach out if you ever need.

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I'm unsure if I write my information here or elsewhere but I'm going to write it here first. I am 16 and live in the state of Oklahoma, my parents divorced when I was 10 and my mother acquired full custody of me and my younger sister (14 now) and my dad gets visitation when he asks for it. Lately, my mother has been resistant on letting us see our father and when we have seen him, he has been very kind and friendly. My sister and I have talked about going to live with our father instead of our mother but, we are unsure of how to even bring this about. Our mother will under no circumstances even consider letting us leave her and live with our dad. She has never been physically abusive so there are no grounds to get out of her custody on that front. But she has been unpleasant, so to speak, in her attitude and demeanor for a long while now. We haven't reached out to my father about any of this yet because, we do not want him to take any legal action leaving us, even momentarily, with our mother during court proceedings which would leave us in a "hellish" home under her watch and control. If there are any suggestions or anything that could be said in assistance to our situation, that would be much appreciated. If there is not, thank you for reading anyhow.
Thank you.

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out about your situation. We’re sorry to hear that you and your sister are having a tough time with your mom. It’s great that your dad sounds like he cares for you both and is trying to be supportive.

If your mom has full custody, it might take a few steps to change the situation into something better. Your dad could contact the lawyer he used for the divorce proceedings to find out what would be needed to change the custody status. If he does call, the lawyer is not obligated to tell your mom that he asked for information. The only way your mom would find out is if your dad decided to go through with the change of custody proceedings.

Also, if you don’t want to pursue any legal route, you might consider seeing if you can change the situation at your mom’s. You know your situation best, so you’d be the best person to gauge this. If she’s continually being harsh to you, consider if there’s a way for you to sit down and talk through things. Consider if it would help to tell her how her harshness affects you, or if she does it when she’s stressed, and there’s any way to change that. Sometimes people can adjust their routines, or how they communicate. We also have resources for family counseling, if that’s a help. If you call, we can provide those as well.

We’re so sorry that you’re not getting the support you need at your mom’s. But it’s great that you’re reaching out and trying to change the situation.

Stay safe and good luck!

[Guest]

I'm 16 and dad has custody of all of us kids. I want to live with my mum but dad won't let me. Sometimes I feel like running away. My mum said its alright if I stay with her but dad doesn't approve. I can make my own decisions now.
What do I do?

[ccsmod6]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re unhappy living with your dad and are considering running away. It also seems that your dad does not approve of you living with your mom. That must be frustrating, especially considering that you don’t like your current living situation.

Something that might work is talking to your mom about trying to get custody of you. We are not legal experts, but she would probably have to get into contact with a family lawyer in order to start the process.

You should know that while running away from home is not a crime, it is against the law to harbor a runaway. Running away is what is called a ‘status offence.’ That means that you won’t be charged with a crime just for leaving your house without permission. However, if your mom lets you stay with her, she might get in trouble with the law.

Running away can be pretty scary. If you want to talk to somebody about your plans, you can call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach us through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org between 4:30 and 11:30 pm CST. We are looking forward to talking with you!

Best of luck!

[Guest]

Switching Homes.


Okay so my name is Grant nice to meet you, obviously my parents are divorced and father has most of the custody. I absolutely hate living with my father, we don't get along and there's too many siblings and I hate the steps he takes to try and parent me. My mother on the other hand there's nothing wrong and I love it there. Now I've read quite most of these posts and I understand about all the running away and pressing charges if I stayed here. I would love to go to. Court about this but it's a lot of money and I don't think my mother could afford it neither want to deal with all of it. Yes, I've talked to my mom about it and she brushed it aside and I've talked to my dad about it and he harshly denies it with no thought. I just really don't want to be at my fathers and I don't want to seem stupid going into court to lose or in our case not provide enough support to let me stay here. I'm not sure what to do

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS via our forum. We appreciate you and hope to help in any way we can. It sounds like your parents’ divorce has had a really harsh effect on your life.

You mentioned wanting to live with your mom full time, which is understandable. You should be able to choose where you want live. In some states, youth have a large say in which parent they want to live with. You also mentioned your mom looking into legal aid in order to take it to court. We have a large database of legal aid resources, they provide services to youth discounted or free. If you contact our safeline we can definitely try to get you in contact with one. We also offer conference calls between youth and parents, if you needed help talking to your dad again about living with your mom, we can help.
We are here to help you in this transition and find options for you. You’re definitely not alone in this. Our safeline is open 24/7 and we also have a chatting service via our website (however that is not a 24/7 service).

Be well, NRS

[Guest]

if was born by my mom she was 16 then my dad came took me from then joint custudy after 14 year i can talk to my mom and my grandparents is it under law that my dad wont let see my mom or let me spend week havent seen my mom since then but if mom call court and ask if i can choose to whitch parent live with does cost for me live with my mom couse rather be couse couse right now my dad wont let go to IOWA or let me vist her she is better than my dad who took and pawn my stuff and games please tell me how i can get to live my mom

[ccsmod16]

We're glad you reached to NRS through a forum post today. It sounds like the situation you're in with your Dad is very difficult! It may take some legal help to find out what you need to do to be able to live with your Mom instead of your Dad because it likely depends on details of the custody arrangements. The child protection authorities in your state might be helpful also, especially if you are being physically abused. We aren't lawyers here, but we can help you find a lawyer to talk to if you want to get in touch with us by phone or chat, because we would need to know what city and state you are in. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or you can chat with us by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking on "Chat." (4:30 pm-11:30 pm). We wish you the best and look forward to hearing from you.

[Guest]

I want to live with my dad but i know my mom will be mad so i want to just start packing and runaway to my dad

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you want to live with your dad but are fearful of how upset it is going to make your mother. We cannot tell you what to do but keep in mind that if you do leave to your fathers you mother has the right to file a runaway report for you. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. As mentioned we are not here to tell you what to do. We just want to make sure that you have all the facts so that you can make the best informed decision. If you want to talk more about your options
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS