Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[Unregistered]

Mom won't let me come back home from visiting my girlfriends

My mom won't let me come back home for no reason she doesn't like me she told me she never wants to see me she could care less about me an she's acholch an she treats my sisters better blames me for her break up with my ex step dad what should I do?

[ccsmod8]

RE: Mom won't let me come back home from visiting my girlfriends

Hello there -

Thanks for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline with your concerns. From your email to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on and thinking about what would happen. No one deserves to be treated that way. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect) to your local police department, family member, or child protective service in your state. So depending on if you’re a minor still, you can file a neglect/abandonment report since it is against the law to kick a minor out of the house. If that is something that you don’t really feel comfortable with doing, you can always give us a call to help answer any questions about the process or to walk you through what steps there are. Also, if you are feeling that you are in danger or scared please don’t hesitate to call out to the police. They can come and check up on things for you.

Now here at NRS we aren’t a hotline that will tell you what to do or what you should be doing. We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation. You know your situation a lot better than we do. We just want you to know your options and with whatever you choose that you’re safe and not on the streets.

We would like to talk to you more in detail about what is going on. Our online chat is open, so feel free to start an instant chat so that we can talk about your situation or give us a call on our 24 hour hotline.

[Unregistered]

move to dads

I'm 13 and I want to move out of my moms and go with my DaD but my mom won't let me. The reason is because me and my mom dont mix and its just really stressing me out.

[ccsmod8]

RE: move to dads

Hello there –

Thanks for posting your thoughts on our public forum at the National Runaway Safeline. From reading it over, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on and thinking about what would happen if you did leave your house to go live with your father instead of with your mother.

Since it sounds like both of your parents aren’t on the same page with letting you move from one house to the other, just leaving might be a little difficult. One parent usually gets awarded primary custody (maybe your mother) and the other secondary custody (maybe your father). So if you were to just go to live with your father, that parent might be get in trouble with the law themselves. If it’s not in the agreement that you are even allowed to live with your father, according to the judge’s discretion, your mother could press charges against them and take them to court to get all their right removed or face a large fine. Your parent(s) may give you permission to live with another family, but without getting an official document from the court your mother would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again.

Now have you ever talked to your mother about all these feelings and emotions that you have been feeling lately? We can surely try to help you with that communication with you and your mother. We offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where your mother, yourself, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. That might be something we can all talk about together because she might not even be aware of what is going on or how it is effecting you. How do you feel about that?

If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you about what has been going on recently that is making you want to leave home. We also have an online chat service available every day.

[Cschnell]

I need out

I am 15 and I'm going to be sixteen in July. I live with my dad in Nebraska and I want to live with my mom in Michigan. My dad is remarried and his wife hits me a lot and chokes me and is constantly emotionally abusing me. She has also threatened to kill me many times. My dad just let's it happen. They also are always yelling at me and treating her children way better than me. I don't feel safe and I don't feel happy in this home. I need to know who to tell and how to be able to go to my mom house.

[ccsmod15]

Re: I need out

Hi there,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like things at home are really difficult for you and we’re sorry to hear this. We’re here to support you the best that we can.

You shared that you are wanting to live with your mom because of what’s been going on with your dad and who he has remarried. You do not deserve to be abused in any way. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Being emotionally abused, hit, choked and having your life threatened are all very scary things that you do not deserve to be dealing with. You have the right to make an abuse report. If this is something you want to explore or just talk further about, you can call us at (800) RUNAWAY (786 2929) or you can call Child Help USA at (800) 422 4453.

It sounds like you live with your dad full time, and you’re looking to live with your mom instead. One option may be to talk to your mom about having your mom bring this idea to him. Sometimes it can be helpful to have some help and having someone advocate on your behalf. Or, if your mom is not comfortable maybe having another trusted adult act as a facilitator when you talk to him about this. Another option of approaching this conversation may be to write your feelings down in a letter or an email.

We’re here to support you and try to figure out options with you. Please do not hesitate to call or chat and we can talk in further detail about your situation. We’re here to help 24/7.

Best,
NRS

[Unregistered]

I want my mom to have full custody of me

My mom and dad got divorced when I was 8. I was really happy that I didn't have to see my dad as much. I didn't really understand what the word custody meant so I had no Idea I had to see my dad. Every time I go to my dad's house he screams at me. He treats my 3 brothers like they are the best thing in the world. I wish he actually cared about me. He acts like I don't exist. If it's dinner time he won't tell me. When I figure out its dinnertime he won't let me eat. I've missed so many lunches and dinners over the past few years. Whenever I'm at my mom's house I eat barely anything. At one point I starved myself. I was in the hospital for a month. I feel like I've been trained not to eat. I'm 20 pounds underweight. I've broken so many bones. My body can barely support my head. I wish I was dead. I'm righting this from my dad's house. Right now I'm laying in my bed crying because it hurts to move. When you first meet my dad you think he is a nice guy. He is the total oppisite. I love school because it's one if the only place I always get treated with respect. I'm a strait A student, I have many friends. But yet I want to die. My dad has told me that the only reason I don't eat is because if my mom. I hate my dad. I can't wait for him to die already.

[ccsmod1]

RE: I want my mom to have full custody of me

Hi,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It was a very brave thing to do. The situation with your dad sounds very upsetting. No one deserves to be treated that way. We will try to do our best to help you and answer all your questions.
You mentioned that you want to die. Please know that you deserve to live. If you ever think about hurting yourself or ending your life, you can call us at 1-800-786-2929 or the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.
You also said that you are barely eating and are 20 pounds underweight. If you ever wanted to talk to someone about how you are not eating, you could of course call us, or you could call 1-800-931-2237- this is the number for the National Eating Disorder Hotline. They can offer you support and understanding about what you have been going through
If you wanted to talk to someone in person about the situation with your dad, you could talk to a school counselor. You mentioned that you really like school, so a school counselor could be a great person to talk to, especially if you enjoy being in the school. If you did not want to talk to a counselor, a friend may be a great person to talk to.
The situation with your dad not feeding you and yelling at you sounds very troubling. We hope that we helped you. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
Thank you again for reaching out,
NRS

[Unregistered]

I am a 12 year old girl... I live with my father, and go to my moms on Thursdays & Saturdays. I don't want to live with my father he makes me clean the whole house by myself EVERYTHING! I don't mind helping out around the house, but its literally everything! There is also drugs involved in my house environment. My step mom constantly tells my dad lies to get me in trouble she also takes my stuff.. They make me babysit my sisters at the age of 5&3... The other day he put his hands in me then pushed me up against the cabinet, and screamed in my face when he went up staires I texted my mom and told her to call cps right AWAY! she did they still haven't got back with us. My dad has custody of me , but my mom has some rights. I'm supposed to go home tomorrow. I don't want to my mom said I'm not going to and that she will call the cops if she has to... Will they make me go back to my dads?

[ccsmod6]

Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We're sorry that you've been pushed by your father. You don't deserve that. It's good that you and your mom contacting CPS right away, however, we want to let you know that if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. CPS generally would be involved even when police are called.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are not too sure what would happen if you refused to go home because it would depend on who has custody/guardianship as well as if your father files you as a runaway. It seems you did the right thing to report any mistreatment right away. If you're legally wanting to live with your mom full time, that may need to happen through the court as a child custody case. If you would like to learn more about some helpful options, we encourage you to reach out by phone or chat.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

try to talk to him about it with someone you trust around

[ccsmod14]

Re: Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

Hi there,

Thank you so much for posting on our forum at the National Runaway Safeline. We really appreciate you sharing a bit about how you would suggest handling this situation.

Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we do not tell anybody what they should or should not do, we just help figure out options and help keep folks safe in what they decide. Please, do not hesitate to call or chat with us to talk further.

Best,
NRS

[anon]

Moving away.

Me and my dad have had issues for about 3 years now. Almost everyday he is riding my ass, ****** about every little thing I do, and says some hurtful things every now and then. My mom has joint custody but I'm pretty sure my dad has primary custody of me. I don't really know all of the legal stuff but my mom says that according to the court, once I'm 16 I'm allowed to move in with her. Not sure how true this is but I thought id add it.

My dad loves me and all and probably wouldnt hurt me physically. It's just I can't stand living as his little puppet that has to meet his expectations.

He said when he was my age that he moved into his mom's and left his dad. Which makes me think he would let me move in with my mom.

How do I tell my dad that I want to do this? I love him. I've pretty much lived with him for almost a whole decade. I just really want to try this. But I'm also worried I may be making the wrong decision. Please help me with any advice you can give. Thanks.

[ccsmod15]

Re: Moving out.

Hi, and thank you for sharing with us what’s going on.

It’s hard to have to hear hurtful things, have all these expectations placed on you, or be treated like a “puppet;” no one deserves that. We’re sorry that you’re going through all this, especially if it’s been going on for 3 years.

It also sounds like you’re torn because you love your dad, and at the same time want to leave and go stay with your mom. We can’t really give you an advice one way or the other, but maybe suggest some things that you can find out or ask yourself. For starters, it might be good to find out who has the guardianship, and if your parents really made some kind of agreement for when you turned 16. If your dad mentioned that about himself, maybe it’s because he is thinking about a similar change for you. Perhaps you could find a good moment to ask each of them what their thoughts are.

Maybe there is also, is there a way that you can stay with your mom and still be in touch with your dad often. If you have a good rapport (despite the difficulties recently), he might have a response that is more understanding. You could prepare really well for that conversation by listing the reasons beforehand, so he will realize how important it is for you.

Maybe you could present it as temporary initially or split time between the two if he doesn’t agree to the change all at once. Sometimes talking about the possibilities and expectations upfront helps deal with whatever happens later, without hurting their feelings.

If you want to talk about it more or discuss other ideas, please reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. It’s hard to go through these decisions alone, and we are here to listen and to help; we want to be here for you.

We wish you the best, and also many beautiful things in the new phase of your life!

[Unregistered]

Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

I'm 12 too and my dad is not even letting me see my mother and because he has more money he thinks it could fix all of my problems I am getting emotionally and verbally Abused and he has hit me a couple of times. He doesn't really care about me all he wants to do his hurt my mother. He thinks that I'm some kind of maid that does everything for him and just because my mother has bipolar he uses that against her in the custody case so she is ruled as an unfit mother and I was only 2 at the time he thinks suing people will make everything okay but it doesn't it makes it worse. Sometimes I want to runaway or kill my self because of what he has said to me but I know I can't because my mother would go to jail or I would because he thinks legal action is the answer to everything PLEASE HELP!!!!!! He knows I don't want to live with him and he taunts me about it. I don't know what to do