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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We appreciate you posting on our forum and we hope our response will be helpful.

    Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, so we can’t say what the court would do. Your mom is your legal guardian and if she gives consent for you to move in with your dad, which should be okay. She should be able to decide where you’re allowed to live or not live, not the courts. Unless the courts decided that your dad is an unfit parents, or something along those lines. Your mom, or if she has a divorce lawyer, should be able let you know if it’s possible or not.

    Sorry that we couldn’t give an exact answer, we’re just not experts on the law and wouldn’t want to give you an answer that we’re not 100% sure on. We’re always here if you need to talk and we’re open 24/7!

    Best, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to move in with my dad for a temporary amount of time. Is it possible without the court's consent, but my mom has given a yes?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you want to live with your dad but are fearful of how upset it is going to make your mother. We cannot tell you what to do but keep in mind that if you do leave to your fathers you mother has the right to file a runaway report for you. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. As mentioned we are not here to tell you what to do. We just want to make sure that you have all the facts so that you can make the best informed decision. If you want to talk more about your options
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my dad but i know my mom will be mad so i want to just start packing and runaway to my dad

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    replied
    We're glad you reached to NRS through a forum post today. It sounds like the situation you're in with your Dad is very difficult! It may take some legal help to find out what you need to do to be able to live with your Mom instead of your Dad because it likely depends on details of the custody arrangements. The child protection authorities in your state might be helpful also, especially if you are being physically abused. We aren't lawyers here, but we can help you find a lawyer to talk to if you want to get in touch with us by phone or chat, because we would need to know what city and state you are in. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or you can chat with us by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking on "Chat." (4:30 pm-11:30 pm). We wish you the best and look forward to hearing from you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    if was born by my mom she was 16 then my dad came took me from then joint custudy after 14 year i can talk to my mom and my grandparents is it under law that my dad wont let see my mom or let me spend week havent seen my mom since then but if mom call court and ask if i can choose to whitch parent live with does cost for me live with my mom couse rather be couse couse right now my dad wont let go to IOWA or let me vist her she is better than my dad who took and pawn my stuff and games please tell me how i can get to live my mom

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS via our forum. We appreciate you and hope to help in any way we can. It sounds like your parents’ divorce has had a really harsh effect on your life.

    You mentioned wanting to live with your mom full time, which is understandable. You should be able to choose where you want live. In some states, youth have a large say in which parent they want to live with. You also mentioned your mom looking into legal aid in order to take it to court. We have a large database of legal aid resources, they provide services to youth discounted or free. If you contact our safeline we can definitely try to get you in contact with one. We also offer conference calls between youth and parents, if you needed help talking to your dad again about living with your mom, we can help.
    We are here to help you in this transition and find options for you. You’re definitely not alone in this. Our safeline is open 24/7 and we also have a chatting service via our website (however that is not a 24/7 service).

    Be well, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Switching Homes.


    Okay so my name is Grant nice to meet you, obviously my parents are divorced and father has most of the custody. I absolutely hate living with my father, we don't get along and there's too many siblings and I hate the steps he takes to try and parent me. My mother on the other hand there's nothing wrong and I love it there. Now I've read quite most of these posts and I understand about all the running away and pressing charges if I stayed here. I would love to go to. Court about this but it's a lot of money and I don't think my mother could afford it neither want to deal with all of it. Yes, I've talked to my mom about it and she brushed it aside and I've talked to my dad about it and he harshly denies it with no thought. I just really don't want to be at my fathers and I don't want to seem stupid going into court to lose or in our case not provide enough support to let me stay here. I'm not sure what to do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re unhappy living with your dad and are considering running away. It also seems that your dad does not approve of you living with your mom. That must be frustrating, especially considering that you don’t like your current living situation.

    Something that might work is talking to your mom about trying to get custody of you. We are not legal experts, but she would probably have to get into contact with a family lawyer in order to start the process.

    You should know that while running away from home is not a crime, it is against the law to harbor a runaway. Running away is what is called a ‘status offence.’ That means that you won’t be charged with a crime just for leaving your house without permission. However, if your mom lets you stay with her, she might get in trouble with the law.

    Running away can be pretty scary. If you want to talk to somebody about your plans, you can call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach us through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org between 4:30 and 11:30 pm CST. We are looking forward to talking with you!

    Best of luck!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and dad has custody of all of us kids. I want to live with my mum but dad won't let me. Sometimes I feel like running away. My mum said its alright if I stay with her but dad doesn't approve. I can make my own decisions now.
    What do I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out about your situation. We’re sorry to hear that you and your sister are having a tough time with your mom. It’s great that your dad sounds like he cares for you both and is trying to be supportive.

    If your mom has full custody, it might take a few steps to change the situation into something better. Your dad could contact the lawyer he used for the divorce proceedings to find out what would be needed to change the custody status. If he does call, the lawyer is not obligated to tell your mom that he asked for information. The only way your mom would find out is if your dad decided to go through with the change of custody proceedings.

    Also, if you don’t want to pursue any legal route, you might consider seeing if you can change the situation at your mom’s. You know your situation best, so you’d be the best person to gauge this. If she’s continually being harsh to you, consider if there’s a way for you to sit down and talk through things. Consider if it would help to tell her how her harshness affects you, or if she does it when she’s stressed, and there’s any way to change that. Sometimes people can adjust their routines, or how they communicate. We also have resources for family counseling, if that’s a help. If you call, we can provide those as well.

    We’re so sorry that you’re not getting the support you need at your mom’s. But it’s great that you’re reaching out and trying to change the situation.

    Stay safe and good luck!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm unsure if I write my information here or elsewhere but I'm going to write it here first. I am 16 and live in the state of Oklahoma, my parents divorced when I was 10 and my mother acquired full custody of me and my younger sister (14 now) and my dad gets visitation when he asks for it. Lately, my mother has been resistant on letting us see our father and when we have seen him, he has been very kind and friendly. My sister and I have talked about going to live with our father instead of our mother but, we are unsure of how to even bring this about. Our mother will under no circumstances even consider letting us leave her and live with our dad. She has never been physically abusive so there are no grounds to get out of her custody on that front. But she has been unpleasant, so to speak, in her attitude and demeanor for a long while now. We haven't reached out to my father about any of this yet because, we do not want him to take any legal action leaving us, even momentarily, with our mother during court proceedings which would leave us in a "hellish" home under her watch and control. If there are any suggestions or anything that could be said in assistance to our situation, that would be much appreciated. If there is not, thank you for reading anyhow.
    Thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting NRS, we are glad you contacted us. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it must be tough. Although, we are not legal experts, but as far we can understand from your situation, that the court did not give official custody to one of your parents. So, if that is the case, your mom might still have custody for you, which will make it perfectly legal for you to move in with her. However, you said that the lawyers talked, maybe if you can try to know what was the agreement between the lawyers, you will be able to know who has full custody of you, or if it is shared with both of them. If you feel abused by your father, you can call the police or call an adult such as a trusted relative or a school counselor about your situation. You can learn more about reporting abuse by contacting the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. They might help you in your situation and can ease the process of moving to your mother. If you feel you want to talk more about your situation, or have more resources, feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or cat with us on our website.

    We are open 24/7 and we will glad to help you, so please reach out if you ever need.

    Stay safe,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 06-28-2017, 11:21 PM.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 17 and i will turn 18 in November. we've lived with our mom since 2010 and the past 2 years we have lived with our dad. he took us away from her but they didn't actually go to court. their lawyers talked. He scares me, when he gets really mad he will scream at the top of his longs and get close to me. The other day he took my phone away. He snatched it out of my hand and last time he did that he almost broke my wrist. He has bad anger problems. The only other time he would hurt me was a few years ago and he slapped me in my face. I tried to call my mom to tell her what he had done and he chased me and pushed me down and squeezed my wrist and took the phone away. he didn't let me contact her. My mom got a new place and she will move in on July 15, i want to live with her, he tells me that i cant and if i do it behind his back i will regret it and wish that i never made that choice. He also gets very mad and mentally abusive when i tell him that when i am 18 i am moving out and i'm going to college far away from him. Anyways, my question is, am i allowed to live with my mom? Would i get in trouble if i did?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    replied
    Thank you for writing us! We’re here to listen and here to help. It sounds like you miss your mom, and that you think that she can be of special help to you as you are maturing and getting older. It also seems like your dad may not see your perspective. It is great that you realize that while you love your dad, you crave attention and affection that only a mother can give. It also must be frustrating to want to really be with the parent you think can be most useful to you at this time in your life.

    Does your dad have custody over you, and your mom does not? We are not legal experts. However, we can connect you to someone who could answer any legal questions you may have. If your dad has custody over you, it could be that the judge/court decided that this was in the best interest of you and your brother. If you were to leave and go with your mom without the approval of your dad (who may be your only legal guardian) or the courts, it could create more problems for you and your mom, if she wants to request custody of you again in the future. Go to the following website if you want to learn more about finding the legal aid source nearest to you:

    Find trusted, free legal information, news, DIY forms and access to local lawyers at FindLaw.com.


    If your mom and dad both has custody/guardianship over you, and he is just not letting you see her, that is another issue. If you ever wanted to share your feelings with your dad, we have a conference call option that may be useful to you. In parent conference calls, youth 3-way calls between them, their parents, and us in order to give you the space to effectively communicate and feel comfortable telling them how you feel. When we do conference calls, the youth comes up with rules and guidelines for how s/he wants the call to go.

    We would love to provide you with individualized support, and invite you to call us or chat with us. We hope you will contact us soon. We wish you the best!

    Best,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:

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