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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 14, live with my mom and want to live with my Dad and step mom, My mom isn't home when I get home from school and goes to town alot and leaves me home alone. I see my dad every other weekend, but want to spend more time with him and do things that dads and sons do . How do I make this happen?

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    First of all, thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like a pretty tough situation you’re in, and taking that first step and reaching out can be really tough. It can’t be easy for you dealing with this, so we definitely want to help and provide some options.

    You mentioned your mom’s boyfriend and that he has tried to put his hands on you, and he has put his hands on your little sister before. It’s never ok to hurt a child, under any circumstance. If he is hurting you or your sister, you can report this to the police and/or child protective services. If we know your information, we can help with reporting this too.

    In terms of living with your dad, we aren’t legal experts here, and also don’t know the specifics of the custody agreement that your parents have. Without knowing any of this, we really can’t guide you on moving with him. Maybe you could try to have another conversation with your mom? Are there some friends or other adults and family you could maybe talk to as well? Sometimes it helps to also get involved with school activities or hobbies to help take your mind off things. Talking more to your dad could be an option. We also offer a conference call service if you call us, and where we could see if maybe we could help with the situation by talking to you and your mom.

    Hopefully these are a couple options that might work for you. If you are being hurt, please strongly consider reporting this, as we mentioned earlier. We are here 24/7 if you want to call us also and talk more. We are a confidential service. We’re here to listen, and here to help.

    Best of luck!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 but I’ll be 16 on the 20th of this month and I want to live with my dad. But my mama won’t let me. She an emotional wreck and it’s to much for me to handle. I have a 10 year old sister that wants to live with our dad too but I don’t want to hurt my moms feelings she’s very emotional and all of her kids wanted to move out with our dad. Her boyfriend is verbally abusive and controlling and it hurts me because she makes me talk to him when I don’t like him and he tried to put his hands on me and he has put his hands on my little sister before. She said even if I wanted to leave I couldn’t because she has full custody over me and my little sister but that’s hard to believe because my brother moved with our dad when he was 16 but our dad didn’t sign me and my sisters birth certificate so what should I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: I am 14 and I live with my grandparents

    Hello,
    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

    Sometimes things can become so overwhelming that it is hard to know what to do about them. It sounds like you no longer want to stay with your grandparents but would like to stay with your mother.
    It seems that they are not in agreement with your wish.
    That probably has been frustrating for you. We would be interested to hear what has been going on with your situation.

    Sometimes talking things out can lead to some options not yet thought of.
    If you would like to talk more about your situation you are welcome to contact us through 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (Live chat).

    We are here to listen and here to help.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 14 and I live with my grandparents right now and have for two years. I want to live with my mom, but they won't let me. I have plenty of reasons as to why I do not want to live here anymore.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us, we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legally trained here so we can’t give you any specific answers, but we can try to help you locate resources and discuss your other options. It was very brave of you to reach out to us.

    You asked how you could go live with your mom, but it sounds like your dad has the main custody of you, is that correct? It also sounds like you get to see your mom on weekends, your mom may be able to go to court and try to get more custody. Again, we aren’t legally trained here so we wouldn’t be able to give you any specific details, but you may need to speak with an attorney. They would probably be better able to answer legal questions and give you specific answers about your options. We do have legal aid resources in our database, we’re happy to look those up if you’d call into our safeline.

    Since we’re non-directive, we can’t give out advice. We do offer conference calling options between youth and their parents. You mentioned that your dad doesn’t listen to you or take you seriously, that sounds really frustrating. If you wanted to use our conference calling option, you would call into our safeline and we would call your dad together. If going to live with mom isn’t an option, do you know what you might do? Have you told anyone at school or any other adults how you are feeling? Sometimes, talking with people can help you feel better and help find other resources that may be available to you.

    Again, thank you for reaching out to us via our forum! We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call. We also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week if you would prefer talking with someone that way instead.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

    ~NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to move in with my mom really bad. I am not happy at my dads house. He is always working. By the time he gets home we have to be in bed. He never physically abususes me and he never would. He smokes marijuana right in front of me. Whenever i bring up the subject he just gets mad and says no. He wont actually listen or take me seriously. I have a good life at my moms. I see her on weekends. I do volonteer work at my church amd the schools are great. Can you give me advice on how to convince my dad to let my mom have custody.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: I'm 12 and my dad is very abusive.

    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. You might also consider this situation with your mom. Perhaps there are some legal actions she might explore.
    If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore options please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or live chat with NRS at www.1800Runaway.org

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 12 and my dad is very abusive. He is always putting me down. I wasn’t to live with my mom but my dad is rich as hell. I have brought this to court but He doesn't care. I have called the police multiple times. They don't believe me. I'm really scared of him. I have been trying to leave since I was 10. I know I seem young but my dad is crazy. I also have child support but they couldn't do much. He just got married! (Again) He drinks every day! Takes a bunch of pills. With his new wife, he is crazier than ever. He said if I do not keep my door open, he will rip it out. And he hit's me. Like a slap, or a push. He is an abusive speaker mostly. Which means he criticizes me abusively. (Sorry about my spelling.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-18-2017, 04:58 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It sounds like you don't like living with your mom and would rather live with your dad instead. We are sorry about whatever you're going through at home that is making you feel that way. We understand how living with someone you do not want to live with may make you feel frustrated and upset.

    If you would like to live with your dad you may want to consider talking to him about it. Depending on how custody works between him and your mom, you may be able to stay with him. You can reach out to him and ask him about who has full custody of you and if he would be willing to take you in. If he does not have custody of you he can go to court and try to get custody of you, which would make it so that you could live with him.

    If you need anything else or just want to talk more about what you're going through please feel free to reach out to us again! We are 24/7 and our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Someone would be more than happy to help you out as best as we can.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My mom won’t let me live with my dad. And I can’t run away cause my dad is soo far away and I can’t drive yet and I don’t know what to do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, it looks like you posted twice. See our response above!

  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thank you for reaching out today. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation with a lot going on with both your mom and dad.
    It is understandable that you want to spend more time with your dad and maybe live with him. It can be frustrating when you want to live with your dad but your mom says no. It is smart of you to think about the logistics of running away. You are obviously not rushing into decisions, which is smart.
    We are not legal experts, but from what we know, if a youth (under 18 in most states) leaves without parental consent (mom in your case), the parent can file a runaway report. It is not illegal to runaway but is a status offense and your mom could let the police know you are gone. So if the police were to find you, they may return you back to your mom. Also, any adult you stay with could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense for that adult.
    It sounds like you have talked to your mom about this already and she said no. If you are wanting to live elsewhere, perhaps asking your mom if living with another family member could be an option. Maybe you have a friend, neighbor, grandparent, aunt or uncle you would feel comfortable staying with for a while. If you would like help talking to your mom, we do offer conference calling where we would serve as an advocate for you on the phone. Sometimes having a third party can ease some tension in tough conversations. You could always ask another trusted adult for help in talking to your mom too.
    If you would like to discuss more options or pursue a conference call, we are available 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We understand it can feel really frustrating to have fewer options until you are 18. We are here to listen and help you in any way we can. Please call or live chat with us on our website.
    Best of luck with your living situation!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    so theres nothing i can do till i'm 18?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    ok so my dad left at birth and my mom got full custody my dad's allowed to see me but he has to have one of the people my mom allowed and i want to move in with him but my mom says no and i cant run away to his house cause its to far. what should i do?????

    Leave a comment:

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