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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you really want to be with your mom and your step sister, and that you feel like your dad doesn't give you enough freedom. That is understandable and normal, and it sounds like your mom trusts you and treats you like an adult, especially if she is taking you to work.

    A lot of what you are describing sounds like pretty normal stuff for kids that are growing up. It may be a little more complicated, especially if you have a blended family and if your mom and dad are in seperate households. It definitely makes sense for you to want some freedoms and to feel heard.

    If you wanted to talk more about this situation to get some support, we are here and we can help. Feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or if you feel more comfortable you can reply to this message or try our online chat. Good luck!

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i want to live with my mom and see my mom on occasions but my dad refuses to let me because he says my mom doesn't watch me and she doesn't care about what i do, but the truth is my mom lets me have a life and she actually gives me freedom, but when i go to far she grounds me, and my dad on the other hand never lets me do anything, but he lets my sister do stuff only bc they like her boyfriend, here are some things they encourage my sister to do and the things they let her to do. well they let peyton my sisters boyfriend stay a night that is something my mom will never let happen even if she likes the boys me and my step sisters are with, and another thing they encourage her to have sex with him, and say its fine if they do thats them, im not going to lie i do alot of bad stuff when im at my dads and i do less stuff when im living with my mom bc she does watch and yea ive done some stupid things but that is everywhere i have been and, let me tell you things ive done at my dads i have a tattoo i snuck out and got it like 2 months ago and i have snuck out multiple times and i have smoked and drinked on the side of the house. but at my moms i would go to work with her every night and during the day i was with my step sister

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,
    Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in an incredibly frustrating situation and it’s completely valid that you would want to return to where you have friends and feel comfortable. We’re not legal experts, but if your father is unwilling to let you stay with your mom, another option would be to have your mom file for custody. Sometimes courts are willing to reassess custody if there’s a change in your situation (ex: if your dad isn’t home all that much and you’re unhappy). Since you are 17, you may also have a say in where you stay. Another option would be to ask your mom to give your dad a call and talk about the situation, as she may be able to convince him. Yet another option, if you think it’s the best option, is to leave home without your dad’s permission to stay with your mom (or to ask your mom to come pick you up). Though your dad has full custody, there is a possibility that the police would choose not to pursue you as a runaway because of your age and because you’re with your mother. Though again we’re not legal experts and can’t guarantee that the police would not pursue a runaway report if your dad filed one. In the end, you know your situation best and so hopefully one of these options will work for you. If you want to talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I would like to like to move back with my mom. Im 17 years pld and about a year ago because of grades my dad pretty much made me stay with him and got full custody of me. For a while i was traveling with him for his job and doing online school, which involved staying in a hotel or rv all day while he was working. I, am currently living in his house in alabama with my stepmom and he is gone a lot of the time for his job. I am very close to finishing my junior year on online school with all a’s and b’s. I want to move back to my moms house where i have friends and do my senior year of school there. I want to move back because My dad is gone all the time, i have no friends here, and im just overall unhappy. My dad tells me that moving back is not an option and that im going to have to live with him. What can i do to move back to my moms

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time right now and we admire you reaching out for help.
    Without knowing the details of your parent’s custody agreement, it is difficult to determine whether or not you could legally go live with your mom. But you may be able to live with your mom if the custody agreement allows it and your dad gives his permission.
    Have you considered having another adult, whether it’s your mom, another relative, a teacher, or a coach, help you talk to your dad about living with your mom? Sometimes it is helpful to have someone else that you trust with you while you’re talking about difficult things.
    We offer a conference call service here that you might be interested in. You can call our hotline and talk to someone about what you’re going through, then we can conference call your dad and help you explain to him how you’re feeling.
    Also we aren’t legal experts here, so while we can’t speak in specifics about your situation, we may be able to help you find legal resources in your area that might be able to determine what you legally can do.
    Please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my mom but my mom is scared my dad will get angry and doesn’t want to deal with all the drama of it and I want to tell my dad and I know he’s going to get angry I’m 14 and I’m legally able to choose which parent I live with right?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like your dad does not treat you well, and you so deserve to be treated well! It sounds like your mom is really helpful, and is able to be there for you despite working two jobs. If you are 18 or older, you can decide where you want to live. It sounds like you may be under 18, which means that you have to live where your legal guardian says you should. If this is the case, one option would be to reach out to a family lawyer, and see if your mom could get custody of you, or if she has it already. If you wanted help with this, feel free to call or chat us with more specific information, like your city and state. Our number I 1-800-786-2929, and our website is www.1800runaway.org. It is totally understandable if you don’t want to look into this, but we can do our best to find some options if you are interested.
    Another option might be to live with your mom without your dad's permission. Running away is not illegal, but your dad could file a police report, which means that if the police found you they would bring you home. If you stayed with your mom, she could possibly get in trouble for what is called “harboring a runaway”. We are not legal experts, but we could talk more about this if you wanted. Likewise, a family lawyer could give you more information.
    Another thing to think about is coping mechanisms. It sounds like your dad’s place is really not good for you, so one way to combat this is by finding things you enjoy and trying to do them. This could be something like reading, writing, or drawing, or maybe a club at school that you’re interested in. This is a really frustrating situation, and coping is one way to try to make it better.
    Please feel free to contact us anytime to talk more about what is going on. We are here 24/7, to listen and to help.
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my mom. She has had drug abuse in her past but has been clean for about 6-7 years. My dad refuses to let me leave, i'm miserable here with him. He is always drinking and is never home, with my mom i'm actually thought of and part of thing. Living with my dad makes me depressed and I never want to be home because of him and my step mom & her kids. My mom has two stable jobs and even has time for me when I see her, my dad works one job and still is never home or see's me. I've asked my dad and told him that I want to live with my mom several times in the past two years, he still refuses.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    We're sorry to hear that you are missing your mom and that you feel like your dad and step mom don't like you. Have you had conversations with your dad to see if they would let you stay with your mom? We have a conference cal service here at NRS where a liner facilitates a conversation between you and a parent so that you could voice your feelings safely and hopefully come to some sort of resolution. Let us know if that is something you would be interested in. We're also here over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat at www.1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about your situation. We could help you think through who you could reach out to for support or things you could do to cope while you're not at your moms.

    Don't hesitate to reach out to us so we can best help you,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I have always wanted to live with my mom. Today i just git really sad cause i was used to seeing her and now everytime i even look at a picture i start to cry i feel like my dad and my step mom dont like me and i feel very uncomfortable around my mom and i know this is personal but my moms trying to get me back but she does not have a car so she cant get me all the time someone please

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for contacting us. It sounds like staying with your dad was a stressful and unsafe living environment, it is understandable that you would want to stay with your mom. You do not deserve to be abused by anyone, especially not in your home.

    First, know that your life is valuable and if you ever feel like killing yourself you can talk to someone who may make you feel better. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24 hours a day and have people that you can talk to who are trained to helping you feel better. You can call them at 1-800-273-8255.

    You mention wanting to stay with your mom even though your dad wants you back. It doesn’t sound like your mom has any custody of you. If you are interested in trying to change your custody, we can refer you to legal aid that may be able to help you with that process. Feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to get connected to a lawyer who may be able to provide you more information on how you can stay with your mom.

    This must be a difficult situation to be dealing with, but we appreciate you reaching out to us. Good luck and please call if you want to talk more about anything we discussed here.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I am 14 I been living with my mom in Nebraska for 1 my dad has full custody of me and I love living with my mom my dad wants me back to lock me up because I can’t live with my dad I did sexual things to stepmom and my mom Voluntarily terminated her rights to me in Minnesota in 2012 and I don’t want to get back with my dad they abuse me all the time and my sister too Minnesota won’t do anything if they make me go back I will kill my self and my dad he don’t care about my all he cars about is his abuse wife who hits us and I will run away please somebody help me stay with my mom

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation, but we are glad that you are brave enough to reach out for help when you need it.

    You mentioned that you want to live with your mom, but your dad will not let you. Again, we are sorry to hear about this, this must be a tough situation for you. We have some options that may be helpful for you. One option is to give us a call at our 24 hour crisis hotline, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. We offer a service called a conference call, this is basically a three-way call where we can reach out to your dad and talk to him about the situation. The way it works is: you call us and then we call out together to your dad and try to come to an agreement on the situation. We would be on the line with you to provide you with moral support and to ensure the call remains calm and productive. We may also be able to get some more information from you and provide you with better, more focused resources and options. If you do not wish to call us, you can start a live chat with us online. We may also be able to provide you with legal aid resources if that is the route that you would like to go. We hope this information is helpful.

    Again, thank you for reaching out to us. We hope the options we offered are helpful. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or start a live chat with us online. We are here to listen, we are here to help.

    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my dad but my mom won't let me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi
    Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are alone a lot and wanting to be with Dad. This is a tough situation and completely normal! We have some resources that might be able to help out so let’s see what options you have.
    With the limited information provided, you might have done this already, but have you tried talking to Dad and Mom about how you feel? If you want to talk through what that conversation would look like or have someone here mediate the conversation over the phone, please call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    There are legal resources as well. While we are not legal experts here at National Runaway Safeline, we have a database with resources that may be helpful. Again give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us over the website and we can provide those resources.
    Hopefully this is helpful. We are really glad you reached out to use. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.
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