Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 16 and have been mentally challenged most of my life, including thoughts and an attempt at suicide. I am on medication and am doing better, but my mom brings the thoughts back everytime. she calls me names, she calls my friends names, she calls my friend's moms names, she cusses me out, she screams at the top of her lungs until she can't scream any longer, I truly cannot take this any longer. My parents have been divorced for almost 2 years and ever since their divorce I cannot deal with my mom and I need to get out. her most recent time yelling at me she screamed to the point where I was crying and shaking on the ground, she called me a 5-year-old and screamed at me to get up and cussed me out. These things just bring back my feelings of depression and thoughts about suicide and I feel scared in my mom's house. In my dad's house, I feel much more comfortable and he always helps me talk through my issues. I see a therapist every two weeks, but I cannot stand my mom anymore. Please help me get out of this house, what do I need to do and who should I contact.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,
    Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a tough position and we’re glad you’ve reached out. Based on your post, it sounds like you don’t want to live with your dad any longer and that your mother is willing to take your dad to court for custody of you. Given your relationship with your stepmother and recent move, it makes sense that you would want to live with your mom. It sounds like you’d like to live with your mom and that it would be a healthy move for you for a lot of reasons, so we’re glad this option is available to you. You’re clearly a very caring and empathetic person, so it makes sense that you don’t want to hurt your dad’s feelings. On the other hand, you deserve to feel safe, supported, and loved in your own home just as much as anyone else. Your feelings are just as important to consider. If you’re concerned about how your dad might respond, you might consider bringing the topic up to him with another adult around, like a guidance counselor or a therapist. Another option is to have your mom reach out to your dad to let him know that she plans to file for custody. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate conference calls, so please feel free to give us a call if you need help having a fair, calm conversation with your dad.
    Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    Stay safe!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi Im 16 and I struggle a lot living with my dad, I don't get along with my stepmom a lot and my dad always tells me that I can change it. But I have and I'm honestly so tired of trying to fix my relationship with her. I don't really like her and I respect and appreciate things she does for me like makes my food and does my laundry. But we dont communicate and my dad always make it my fault saying I don't talk to her. But she has emotionally abused me and a little bit of physical abuse, me but not bad. She took some of my clothes out of my closet, and she hides food from me. We just never got along I don't really like her, it sucks because she's a stay at home mom so I see her 24/7. So I like to stay in my room a lot because it's were i won't fight with her, and that makes her mad. Then i tell my dad the things i need/want and he tells me to talk to my stepmom. Ive been talkingto a boy for awhile and he says i cant have one if i cant talk to my stepmom, im just so annoyed with this. Then my dad wanted to move to a new state. So that ment a new school and it sucks he's working all the time and I'm home with my stepmom. I don't really have any friends at my new school, and I just want to move back with my mom so I don't have to feel this way anymore, and have a healthy relationship with my mom and be with my friends again. I keep asking my dad if i can live with my mom. But he just gets really mad, takes my phone and says I'm not leaving. I just can't do it anymore its emotionally draining. I tell my mom this and she tells me that she can get a attorney ,but that just puts a whole lot of stress on me. i dont want to do that to my dad because that will just make him even more mad. I don't like hurting his feelings, but i cant live here anymore. please help

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi There,
    Thank you for getting in touch with us. You’ve gone through a lot lately. We’re sorry that you’ve felt unsafe around your dad and stepmom. Abuse is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
    From what you’ve shared, moving to a new state, missing the support and closeness of dear friends and family, and the pressures of navigating a new school are making things even tougher. Right now with everything that is going on, it is getting hard for you to manage the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced since middle school. If you ever wanted to talk to someone about self-harm you can try reaching out to https://twloha.com/
    You’ve shown a great deal of strength by reaching out. At the National Runaway Safeline, we’re happy to listen and help in any way that we can.
    A good idea could possibly be to talk to your mom about how you are feeling and see if maybe she can talk to your dad about everything. Maybe your mom could get him to loosen up a little bit and give you some more freedom. Some other resources that might be helpful to you could be seeing a therapist, talking to a counselor, or talking to a trusted teacher. They are there to help you, and being able to talk about these things with someone could take a lot of pressure off of your shoulders. It seems like you’ve got some really great friends that care about you too, which is awesome.

    It sounds like you have a strong connection with your mother and stepdad. Have you shared with them at all about what is happening with your dad and stepmom? While we are not familiar with the specifics of your situation or the custody agreement in place, there are many options that can be explored together. If you want more details about available resources, or if you’d like to talk more about what you’ve been going through, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    Remember, you are not alone. Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i want to move in with my mom. i'm 15 and live with my dad and stepmom. recently, (within maybe the last two and a half months), they've gotten abusive. we moved from north carolina to georgia at the end of october and it broke me. i'm exactly 252 miles away from the love of my life. we still talk to each other everyday, but it's not the same as seeing each other everyday. the stress of trying to fit in and make friends and make the cheer team has made me severely depressed and my anxiety been worse than ever in these past six months. i started self-harming in seventh grade. it got worse when we moved. my thighs are completely discolored now. my mom is a much better person than my dad and stepdad. she recently got remarried in november. my stepdad is amazing. i love both of them very much. i want to move in with my mom and stepdad but i'm scared to tell my dad and stepmom. i don't know how they'll react or if they'll slap me or choke me or something. help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.

    It sounds like your parents are putting you in the middle of their issues, which isn’t fair for you and must be really stressful on you. You should have a say when it comes to which parent you’re going to live with. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. If your dad is the one with custody of you, being your legal guardian, he is the only one who can give you permission to live elsewhere. So that means that if you did leave to live with your mom, without his permission, he could report you as a runaway. If the police find you, they will return you to your custodial parent (which would be your dad).

    We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your dad about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you. Sometimes just being able to talk can be a way to open up the lines of communication, and see the best way that everyone can compromise.

    We have heard in some cases, where the judge will listen to the child’s input on which parent they would rather live with. You may want to ask your dad about that. We also have a database of legal aid resources, that help youth for free. If you wanted us to connect you with those resources, don’t hesitate call into our safeline.

    We hope our response is helpful. In addition, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I am 16 years old and I want to go back to joint custody With both of my parents.



    Growing up my parents always fought and then decided to have a divorce. so since my dad left I started thinking that my mother was the one who caused our family to separate. My father had brained washed me from when I was young *hes very convincing* that my mom was this "witch" the entire time--although she did do some things to me where she could have disciplined me differently, but now that I've gotten older to understand, she isn't always the best parent either. She was just perhaps hurt that I "took sides" and didnt bother to listen to her side of the story. Since the convincing story that my father presented to me at a young age changed the way I've thought about my mother, we'd had constant arguments with each other. Despite the arguments, we both still had a fun times such as, every year we'd go on vacation with the family, I'd always have conversations with her that I felt it was necessary to talk about in my life,a.k.a. "Counselor", i had many great times with friends around my moms area, went out, and you know, the fun teen stuff and I still felt comfortable. I feel like the reason our relationship was constantly on getting back to "bad terms" was not only because of her nagging obnoxious ways lol, but the young mentality that I had about her growing up. We, one day, gotten to an argument, which then turned a little physical and later lead her to call the police. Luckily enough, my dad was near the area to pick me up. I was fourteen at the time, and the court decided it was simply best for me to have my dad temporarily have custody of me until I go back, which is this sept. 18 of this year. I've been living with my dad for two years now and "the grass is not green on the other side". I've thought that things would've been better but now I see the importance of having a mom in your life. For ex, ever since I've left, I've even lost my virginity. Which demonstrates the impact from the absence of a "mother-figure". My fathers relationship has gotten weaker. I sometimes feel like half of the times I'm raising myself. I would need to do things that only a wife should do. Like am I even supposed to be washing his underwear? Am I supposed to be considered "the women of the house"? Do I have to look after his things when he's not here? And. Most times he's never home--yes he's working, but I feel deeply isolated from my friends in school. It's so severe that I even find myself talking to myself. I don't even have a phone so I don't even know what it is to interact with people besides seeing them face to face. He doesn't even want me on the house phone anyways and if I do, he has calls being recorded so he would often question who I'm talking to. He claims that healso have cameras in the house--he has one installed in the computer and tv-- and one outside the apartment so obviously he would know if I went out. I honestly feel like I'm being caged. I feel like he doesn't want me to interact with know one which is probably the reason why I didn't even have a sweet sixteen, while my mother was trying to plan one anyways. He's also not a promising persons either. I'm sick of it and I don't know if this is healthy as a teen or not. I miss having a mom where I can tell my things to--he wouldn't understand and get it if I talk to him, which is while we always lack communications with each other. I miss going out and stuff like that. And whenever i do something wrong he would Say that"ima dog" or "a piece of s$&t). when i asked if i Could he would deny it and state all the negative excuses why I can't. Yes my mom made mistakes but we just needed a break. Now I understand what she's talking about. My life had been so much better before, she's even planning things for me to get a job etc. and my father would deny it because that's be too much interaction etc. and he although have done a lot of me and still is so i still don't want to give him up just to be with my mom however, I feel like we emotionally, have problems. I'm sorry for the long paragraph but I HATE TO FEEL LIKE IM CAGED. HE'S VERY CONTROLLING AND OVERBEARING.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    We’re glad you’re reaching out to us because we are here to help! It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a really difficult situation, so it’s really great that she has you in her life. It is very admirable of you to reach out for resources on her behalf.

    You mentioned that your girlfriend has said that she doesn’t to be alive anymore and that she is empty. Do you know how long she has been feeling that way or if she has been able to talk through those feelings with anyone? If she starts to feel like that again, please let her know that there are support systems out there that is available to her. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8225) provides 24/7, free and confidential support. Another resource is the Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386), they are a LGBTQ youth suicide lifeline. They have trained counselors there to support anyone that calls 24/7. Both of those resources have suicide in the name, but that isn’t all they deal with. They also offer counseling and help to anyone in need of support.

    You also asked if threatening counts as abuse, and some of the behavior you mentioned can be considered abuse. Threatening physical violence can be considered verbal abuse and can be reported to Child Protective Services, although those types of cases are more difficult to show to investigators. If there were other people that could advocate for your girlfriend, such as relatives or other trusted adults (perhaps her father), that could speak on her behalf while Child Protective Services, it could help her case. If you or your girlfriend would like more information on abuse reporting, Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline is available. Their number is 1-800-422-4453 and they could discuss the specifics of child abuse reporting.

    If she is uncomfortable with reporting the verbal abuse, there are other options available. While we are not legal experts, we can offer to connect you both to legal aid. They would be able to better assess your girlfriend’s situation, especially how to navigate moving in with her dad despite custody. We can look for local resources if you let us know what state your girlfriend is located.

    Beyond the support lines we mentioned before, there is also the LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7742 or the It Gets Better Project at https://itgetsbetter.org/get-help/. They can offer other resources, support, and stories.

    As we said, we are here to help, but are also here to listen. If you or your girlfriend wanted to talk through any of the options we mentioned, our hotline (1-800-786-2929) is 24/7 and confidential!

    Best of Luck

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I need help!
    im not sure what to do, I am dating a girl and I am a girl. her mom is VERY homophobic! she keeps taking her phone, and are saying very mean things; "I'm choke the hell out of you", "I see evil in your eyes", "you're not my daughter.","I will beat you". she even goes as far as saying little things like; "you wanted jerk come over didn't you" , or tell her not to cry over me, and not be emotional in the house, she calls me a manipulator, a jerk, etc. she shows my girlfriend things and videos about peer pressure etc. my girl has become very sad and is different, she tells me she doesn't want to be alive anymore, or how she's empty, or how she can't cry and it hurts me.
    im not sure if I can do anything, or even her. she wants to move in with her dad but her mom has full custody and says no. she's in a terrible living situation I'm so scared she'll get hurt. she has never beat her or anything but she threatens it everyday, does this count as abuse?
    what can she do?
    she's 15 till April 9th, its march 20th

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thanks for reaching out today! It sounds like home is really stressful and unsafe right now. We are here to help and offer resources and options to help you keep yourself safer.
    Your safety is our priority! Child Help is an agency that can better define abuse and help you with next steps on how to make an abuse report (childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453) They can also give information on getting custody transferred to a safe adult like your mom. We can also conference call with you and make an abuse report if you would like to as we know that can be a scary step to take. We are open 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
    We can also provide you other resources like legal aid, counseling, and other youth services. Perhaps someone at school like a teacher or counselor can also help you if you feel comfortable talking about the abuse with them.
    Perhaps there is a social worker or resource officer or case manager from your dealings with the law or at school or for your custody case that could help you get custody transferred to your mom or someone else safe.
    You do not deserve to be hit and punched by your dad. We are here to help you and your safety is our first priority.

    Stay safe and reach out again via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or on our website’s live chat!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 15, and in my city, you can take your case to court when you turn 14. I want to live with my mom, but my dad wont let me. I want to talk to him about it, but im scared that he wont let me, and will hit me. He has threatened death, calls me a useless piece of ****. I recently got in trouble and got suspended for something kinda illegal, and my dad hates me because of it. the other day, he threw me to the ground and punched me in the head. Im really scared of what he might do to me if he finds out im writing this, and I dont know what to do.... help plz.
    Last edited by ccsmod16; 03-19-2018, 03:39 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help it’s a real sign of maturity. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but in most states the age or majority is 18. (Nebraska 19, Alabama 20) This means that you are legally responsible for yourself and your parents/ guardians can no longer control what you do and where you go. On the other hand your parents/guardians are no longer required to provide you with food, shelter, or financial assistance anymore. We understand that becoming an adult is a big step and we want to make sure that you know that you are supported during this time. So yes it sould be okay for you to go and live with your mother.
    We hope this information helps,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 18 and my dad has custody of me but i want to go live with my mother and she is okay with it. will i get in trouble for moving in with her and not telling my dad?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. We appreciate you taking the time to explain about your situation.

    From what your email mentioned, you’re wanting to live with your mom full time. We’re not legal experts, but we have heard of courts allowing the youth to choose which parent the youth wants to live with. From what we know, it comes down to custody. If the parents you’re living with currently is your legal guardian, then they have say over where you live. If you leave home without your legal guardians permission, that is considered running away. Police will return you back home if they find you while on the run. If both of your parents have custody over you, it could make the decision making more flexible. We have legal aid resources in our database and they help youth free. They may know different options for you to be able to live with your mom, or represent you in court. If you’re interested in those resources, let us know and we will try our best to connect you with them.

    If you’d like to talk more about the options we listed, please don’t hesitate to call us. Our safeline is open 24/7.

    Best , NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my mom full time but I have to go to my dads every Wednesday and every other weekend. My moms says there has to be an open case for me to talk to the judge. There are many reasons I don’t want to live with him anymore. Is there anyways I can talk to a judge without having an open case? Is there any way I can live with my mom for full time?

    Leave a comment:

Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X