Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[Guest]

I'm 15 and I use to live with my dad but there was too much emotional abuse and it was making me self harm then I refused to go home with him and have been living at my grams for years now but that hasn't been any better. I've always wanted to live with my step mom but then they made me stop going there on weekend because of the fact I was happy there. Next week I have to go to court for missing so much school and the judge sent a letter saying there is a high chance of me being put in foster care. But I don't know what to say to judge or anything to see if I would be able to live with my step mom. I just don't know what to do anymore please help.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. . It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional abuse does get overwhelming and you deserve to be getting some help with it. It sounds like your step mom has been the only positive or comfortable environment for you recently and you would rather live there which is totally understandable.

We are not legal experts, and we cannot say for sure what might happen at your future court hearing. It could be helpful to ask if you will have a guardian ad litem or a court advocate there to speak on your behalf. If you do have one, this would be a good person to speak to about your concerns and what you feel would be best for your well-being since their job is to advocate for you and your needs. Perhaps speaking to your step-mom about this would help as well to find out if she is able to help in any way. We can refer you to a legal aid resource if you would like to speak with a lawyer before this court hearing in order to learn more about what to expect and what concerns you should be bringing up.

We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time and provide any resources you might need (i.e.legal aid). You can contact us directly anytime by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

Stay safe and good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Me too I want to live with my mom but I am to sacred to ask him for some reason I say I going to tell him and at the end of the day I to sacred to ask him I don’t know why I am scared to ask him

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It can be really hard to open up to your parents when you aren't sure what the response will be and sometime's it's helpful to have someone else advocate for you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

So I am 16 and live in Washington state with my father, fathers girlfriend and half-sibling, my mother lives in Arizona but will be moving to Florida soon and I would like to live with her, things were ruff with her when i was growing up because she was suisideal after she lost custody of me and got into an abusive relationship adn it was toxic for about 9 years, however they broke up2 years ago and now she has a job and is going to school and has really turned her life around, I have not talked to my father about it because I am not sure how he would react, my dad has been dating this girl for about 13 years and shes really emotionally abusive towards me, they had a kid 8 years( half-sibling ) ago and she does not treat us equally, she disciplines me by making me write sentences, grounding me, hitting me and bribes me to tell her things by taking my phone, she body shames me then coddles me after when she sees I'm upset and says she only does it because she loves me... and when I tell my dad he only says its because she loves and she lies to him when I tell him what really happens when he's not home. I have told my mother numerous times what happens and she has filed papers to CPS and they do investigations but nothing ever happens. I really want to live with my mother because I am done with emotional abuse and body shaming. I have done hours of research on emancipation and it might be something ill look into if my father denies my request to live with my mother and if the judge denies my mothers request for custody. how can I present my request to my father? and what if it doesn't work? what would be my next steps?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be a possibility if you stay with your mom and she doesn't have custody of you. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. I am sorry they haven't been more helpful with your situation in the past. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I really want to live with my dad. i just don't know how to tell my mom since shes abusive and black. I hate it here.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you feel that your mother has been abusive towards you and you would like to go live with your father. You don’t deserve to be abused. What has been happening is not your fault. It took a lot of courage for you to reach out to NRS. Good for you.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 16 about to turn 17, Im in Maryland and my dad refuses to let me go home back to Florida, I'm super depressed and I'm losing it here what do I do to go back home? Is there a way I can leave

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are in a tough situation and we want you to know you are not alone.
If you are going back to another guardian it may be a civil issue, you could call the police and explain your situation. We are not legal experts but if you were to leave without permission it is possible your dad could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they could bring you back home. We know you mentioned going back home so that is where the police may bring you.
It is understandable that you are feeling depressed in this situation, you could consider talking to a school counselor about what is going on. Also a resource that may help you is called NAMI (National alliance on mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to help and to listen. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hello im 14 years old i want to live with my full time but my dad doesnt agree

Im not really sure what to do im the second oldest and my brother chose to live with my dad and now a month later my dad has custody of him but i dont want to live with him im tired of the way he treats and takes everything out of my room but a bed and treats me differently cause im a girl im just tired of him and then my stepmom doesnt make it any better she lies about the things i do so i get in trouble and ive told DCF (department of children and families) so many times what goes on and they tell me im wrong every time my mom is now broke and cant fight with him anymore im not sure what to do anymore

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like there is a lot going on with your siblings and your parents in relation to custody. I am sorry to hear that your dad and stepmom are taking things from you and treating you poorly. You do not deserve that. At NRS we are not legal experts, but can certainly provide you with some assistance related to what you shared about your situation. You mentioned that you have contacted DCFS many times and have not had anything happen. Unfortunately in many situations, a lot of physical evidence and examples of mistreatment and abuse are needed for DCFS to take the case. If you need support discussing what is happening at home or are interested in making an abuse report you can call Child Help 1-800-422-4453. An advocate can work with you and call the reporting line with you and provide support through your challenging time. If you need any additional resources or would like support in making a claim or making a safety plan, please do not hesitate to call NRS directly at 1-800-786-2929 or visit https://www.1800runaway.org/#. We are here 24/7 to take calls and chats. We can better support you with resources and referrals if we know where you are located and more about your story. Additionally, it would be helpful for us to know more about what is happening with you and your mom, so we might be able to better direct you to resources like legal aid and child custody support.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I need help

my dad is rude he has pulled my hair. slapped me across my face. grabbed my ear and pulled it. my stepmom hates me. she has kicked me before and screams and yells at me. she has stopped though since I've been kinda getting along. I'm with visitation with my mom and i spend the night at her and my grandma's house, every week or so. I want to live with my mom. I'm 12 by the way and a girl.p.s I don't have a phone i have my school Chromebook. my dad won't let me. he has called me names like b**** and brat some other stuff too. people on my dad's side talk bad about my mom and get jealous that I'm so close to her. he has verbally abused me also. IM NOT HAPPY AT ALL. my mom said she is trying to go to court to get me half of the time. i haven't told her that my dad slapped me in the face. my grandparents on my dad's side is also rascist

[ccsmod3]

Hey there! Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to share what's going on in your life and how you're feeling, but we're glad you did.

It sounds like there's a lot going on at home, and we're sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you. Your dad being rude to you, calling you names and physically hurting you is not okay, and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. While we understand that it can be hard to talk about these sort of things, it might be a good idea to let your mom know how your dad and stepmom have been treating you. If that's not something you're comfortable doing at the moment, another option could be to talk to someone who you trust, like a doctor, teacher, or therapist. These are people who can help ensure that you're safe. It's probable that Child Protective Services (CPS) would also get involved to help facilitate your safety. If contacting any of those folks isn't ideal for you, you can always call us here at NRS. We're happy to learn more about what's going on, support you however we can, and file an abuse report with CPS with you and/or for you. We can also provide you with referrals that might be useful to you as well, like a therapist.

Please feel free to reach out to us through our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or through our live chat that you can find on our website: 1800runaway.org--we're available through both, 24/7.

Hang in there.

NRS

[Guest]

I'm wanting to live with my mom but my dad has custody and I'm turning 13 in Feb.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. The best way we can help is if you (or your dad) give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We can look into possible legal resources that may be able to assist in a transfer of custody. Till then, please stay safe! We look forward to hearing from you.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

My dad has been talking me out of moving in with my mom for 3 years now and i've finally tried to put my foot down and tell him Im moving in with her because I am of legal age in my state. My step-mom emotionally abuses me and has threatened me many times; she also manipulates my dad into seeing her point of view and furthermore I get backlash from the both of them. I have developed depression over the years and because of their final pushes I attempted suicide...They blamed my mom because of it but I only see her 2 weekends out of the month. So in this case 2+2 does not equal four... Im 17 and I wish to move in with my mom but my dad continues to put it down.. He claims he doesn't want to lose me; but doesn't realise Im losing myself.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If in your state 17 is the legal age you can move out, then you are within your rights to leave despite whatever your dad says. However from our knowledge most states the age of majority is 18 so it might help to talk to legal aid first to see what your options are actually.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I need help I want to live with my but my dad let me I’m 15 and my parents are separated not divorced just living their separate lives I hate it at my dads house I just want to live with my mom but my dad threatens to call the cops if I do my dads been to jail several times and is a convicted violent felon, would the police really take his side? I’m terrified of my dad and rlly don’t want live like this can someone please help?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 11 years old, and my mom hits me and punches me in the head, and slaps me, and hits me in the head and butt with a metal spoon.
she’s 1 year sober, so it’s not like she’s drinking or anything. She just scares me sometimes. My little sister seems like she’s moms favorite, and it’s not fair. She never gets hurt by mom or sent to her room. All she does is eat chips, and dr. Pepper. Mom just hurts me and lets her get away with EVERYTHING. would this be considered abuse?

[ccsmod15]

Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you’re feeling angry and overwhelmed, and you have every right to be. The behavior from your mom you are describing is considered physical abuse, and it is never okay. No one deserves to be treated like that. You have the right to tell someone about this abuse so they can help your mom stop. A good person to tell is a teacher or nurse at school, or you can call a confidential hotline called Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 and they can answer your questions about abuse and help you report it if you choose to. And if you ever feel like your mom is about to hurt you, please call 911 and they will send someone to help right away. It can be incredibly hurtful when a parent treats a brother or sister differently than they treat you. It’s understandable you’d be feeling frustrated with how unfair the situation is. While your mom has taken a positive step by staying sober, that does not mean it’s ok for her to abuse you. You deserve to feel safe and cared for at home. We at NRS are here for you any time at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk more about your situation or explore resources in your area like counseling or youth shelters.

[Guest]

Hi I have a problem. I’m 15 years old. So, my teacher keeps keeping me after class, for no reason, and he tells me to take off my clothes. He takes off his, and then he starts kissing me, and playing with spots he shouldn’t. I want to tell my parents, but I’m afraid they might get the wrong idea... please tell me what to do... I don’t want to call the cops.....

[ccsmod15]

Hey there, Thanks for reaching out for help. We can’t imagine how difficult this is and you are so brave to reach out to us and talk about your situation. What your teacher is doing is not ok. You deserve to go to school and class without fear of being taken advantage of. It’s understandable you are afraid to tell anyone. It can be hard to tell your parents about what your teacher is doing at school. We offer a conference call service if you would like some help speaking with them about it (1-800-786-2929). If it would be easier to tell someone else before your parents you could try another teacher or a counselor at school. Another option of someone to talk to is contacting RAINN (rainn.org or 800.656.4673). They are the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organizaton. You can call and speak with a trained staff member from your local sexual assault service provider. They also have a chat option if you would feel more comfortable talking that way. Again, you are very brave to speak out and ask for help. You did nothing to deserve this. If you want to speak more about your situation and the options you have, call or chat with us anytime, 24/7 (1800runaway.org). We are here to listen, here to help. Good luck!

[Guest]

Hi. I'm 14 and I really want to live with my mom.

I only visit her during the summer and Christmas break. I live with my dad the rest of the year. I hate it there, I get yelled out for stupid things, and he is verbally abusive and at times physical. He once put me up to the wall and choked me. My mom has been trying nearly all my life to get me to live with but, it never worked out. My dad is a drug addict, a alcoholic. And when he gets drunk he gets angry. He blames my mom constantly , and says that it's her fault I'm here. My brother use to live with me but he turned 18 and left. Ever since then, I feel weak... I can't do this anymore. It hurts my mom to see me leave. And I just really want to live with her. My dad lies to me saying that he will let me live with my mom but never truly let me. Plz.. I just want to live with my mom

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things at home with your dad are pretty challenging, and we're sorry to hear that. Based on what you've shared, it's understandable that you've been thinking more about living with your mom. Is this something that you've talked about with her at all? If not, it might be a good idea to try and have a conversation with mom about how you're feeling and opening up to her about what's going on at home. If she's aware of how you're being treated, she might try and figure out a way to have you live with her sooner than later.

Because you mentioned some abuse in the home, and that your dad is a drug addict and alcoholic, we also want to let you know that filing an abuse report with Child Protective Services (CPS) is an option for you as well. CPS will likely conduct an investigation to try and determine what's going on at home, and help figure out what steps need to be taken to ensure that you're safe. To file a report with CPS, you can do it on your own by searching your state and CPS agency. Once you locate them, their website will instruct you on how to file a report. You can also talk to a teacher or a school social worker about what's going on. They have an obligation to file abuse reports and can do so on your behalf. You're also welcome to call or chat with us here at NRS. We're Mandated Reporters as well, and can file a report with you, or for you--whatever you're most comfortable with.

If you'd like to chat more about what's going on at home, discuss some of your options, or learn more about filing an abuse report, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

[Guest]

im 14 and i want to live with my mom. My dad curses and threatens me and says im gonna end up dead in the ghetto or commit suicide because im a quiter just because i have bad grades, my dad and my stepmom put me and my little stepbrother in a private school and i barely passed my middle school last year which was a public school and im trying to explain to him that im not ready for this school because this is a private school and i have 8 classes and he's been verbally abusing since 5th grade im in 8th grade now and last night he called me a disappointment and thats why i want to live with my mom she's the best mom i could ask for and im doing online school too so she doesnt have to drop me off to school every morning i really dont know what to do.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a difficult time with you dad. School is hard, especially online school, and it sounds like you could really use some encouragement and support at home as you navigate this challenging time. You certainly do not deserve to be verbally abused for any reason. You’re actually to be commended for seeking help…that takes a lot of courage.

It’s challenging to switch schools but, if you are able to identify a teacher or counselor, early on, that you feel comfortable with, you might consider talking to them about what you are going through, both at home and academically. You’re a new student, and they may have support services to help you transition or to help with tutoring. Teachers really appreciate students who ask for help; it shows initiative.

You talk about going to live with you mom. If you aren’t aware of the details of your parents’ custody agreement, you could ask your mom to explain this. It might help to know the legal guidelines if you want to pursue this option. This could also make her aware of what you are going through with your dad, if she doesn’t already know.

You can always contact us at NRS either by phone, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or on a live chat through out website, www.1800RUNAWAY.org. Both are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. We can look for helpful resources in your area or work on coping strategies with you. NRS also offers a conference call service in which we will mediate a call between you and your parents. It allows you to set some ground rules, and we can make sure the conversation remains civil and on topic. We are here to listen and to help. We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,

NRS