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Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

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  • I'm 15 and I use to live with my dad but there was too much emotional abuse and it was making me self harm then I refused to go home with him and have been living at my grams for years now but that hasn't been any better. I've always wanted to live with my step mom but then they made me stop going there on weekend because of the fact I was happy there. Next week I have to go to court for missing so much school and the judge sent a letter saying there is a high chance of me being put in foster care. But I don't know what to say to judge or anything to see if I would be able to live with my step mom. I just don't know what to do anymore please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. . It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional abuse does get overwhelming and you deserve to be getting some help with it. It sounds like your step mom has been the only positive or comfortable environment for you recently and you would rather live there which is totally understandable.

      We are not legal experts, and we cannot say for sure what might happen at your future court hearing. It could be helpful to ask if you will have a guardian ad litem or a court advocate there to speak on your behalf. If you do have one, this would be a good person to speak to about your concerns and what you feel would be best for your well-being since their job is to advocate for you and your needs. Perhaps speaking to your step-mom about this would help as well to find out if she is able to help in any way. We can refer you to a legal aid resource if you would like to speak with a lawyer before this court hearing in order to learn more about what to expect and what concerns you should be bringing up.

      We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time and provide any resources you might need (i.e.legal aid). You can contact us directly anytime by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      Stay safe and good luck,
      NRS

  • Me too I want to live with my mom but I am to sacred to ask him for some reason I say I going to tell him and at the end of the day I to sacred to ask him I don’t know why I am scared to ask him

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It can be really hard to open up to your parents when you aren't sure what the response will be and sometime's it's helpful to have someone else advocate for you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • So I am 16 and live in Washington state with my father, fathers girlfriend and half-sibling, my mother lives in Arizona but will be moving to Florida soon and I would like to live with her, things were ruff with her when i was growing up because she was suisideal after she lost custody of me and got into an abusive relationship adn it was toxic for about 9 years, however they broke up2 years ago and now she has a job and is going to school and has really turned her life around, I have not talked to my father about it because I am not sure how he would react, my dad has been dating this girl for about 13 years and shes really emotionally abusive towards me, they had a kid 8 years( half-sibling ) ago and she does not treat us equally, she disciplines me by making me write sentences, grounding me, hitting me and bribes me to tell her things by taking my phone, she body shames me then coddles me after when she sees I'm upset and says she only does it because she loves me... and when I tell my dad he only says its because she loves and she lies to him when I tell him what really happens when he's not home. I have told my mother numerous times what happens and she has filed papers to CPS and they do investigations but nothing ever happens. I really want to live with my mother because I am done with emotional abuse and body shaming. I have done hours of research on emancipation and it might be something ill look into if my father denies my request to live with my mother and if the judge denies my mothers request for custody. how can I present my request to my father? and what if it doesn't work? what would be my next steps?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be a possibility if you stay with your mom and she doesn't have custody of you. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. I am sorry they haven't been more helpful with your situation in the past. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I really want to live with my dad. i just don't know how to tell my mom since shes abusive and black. I hate it here.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-08-2020, 01:47 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you feel that your mother has been abusive towards you and you would like to go live with your father. You don’t deserve to be abused. What has been happening is not your fault. It took a lot of courage for you to reach out to NRS. Good for you.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • Im 16 about to turn 17, Im in Maryland and my dad refuses to let me go home back to Florida, I'm super depressed and I'm losing it here what do I do to go back home? Is there a way I can leave

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are in a tough situation and we want you to know you are not alone.
      If you are going back to another guardian it may be a civil issue, you could call the police and explain your situation. We are not legal experts but if you were to leave without permission it is possible your dad could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they could bring you back home. We know you mentioned going back home so that is where the police may bring you.
      It is understandable that you are feeling depressed in this situation, you could consider talking to a school counselor about what is going on. Also a resource that may help you is called NAMI (National alliance on mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to help and to listen. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • Hello im 14 years old i want to live with my full time but my dad doesnt agree

    Im not really sure what to do im the second oldest and my brother chose to live with my dad and now a month later my dad has custody of him but i dont want to live with him im tired of the way he treats and takes everything out of my room but a bed and treats me differently cause im a girl im just tired of him and then my stepmom doesnt make it any better she lies about the things i do so i get in trouble and ive told DCF (department of children and families) so many times what goes on and they tell me im wrong every time my mom is now broke and cant fight with him anymore im not sure what to do anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like there is a lot going on with your siblings and your parents in relation to custody. I am sorry to hear that your dad and stepmom are taking things from you and treating you poorly. You do not deserve that. At NRS we are not legal experts, but can certainly provide you with some assistance related to what you shared about your situation. You mentioned that you have contacted DCFS many times and have not had anything happen. Unfortunately in many situations, a lot of physical evidence and examples of mistreatment and abuse are needed for DCFS to take the case. If you need support discussing what is happening at home or are interested in making an abuse report you can call Child Help 1-800-422-4453. An advocate can work with you and call the reporting line with you and provide support through your challenging time. If you need any additional resources or would like support in making a claim or making a safety plan, please do not hesitate to call NRS directly at 1-800-786-2929 or visit https://www.1800runaway.org/#. We are here 24/7 to take calls and chats. We can better support you with resources and referrals if we know where you are located and more about your story. Additionally, it would be helpful for us to know more about what is happening with you and your mom, so we might be able to better direct you to resources like legal aid and child custody support.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • I need help

    my dad is rude he has pulled my hair. slapped me across my face. grabbed my ear and pulled it. my stepmom hates me. she has kicked me before and screams and yells at me. she has stopped though since I've been kinda getting along. I'm with visitation with my mom and i spend the night at her and my grandma's house, every week or so. I want to live with my mom. I'm 12 by the way and a girl.p.s I don't have a phone i have my school Chromebook. my dad won't let me. he has called me names like b**** and brat some other stuff too. people on my dad's side talk bad about my mom and get jealous that I'm so close to her. he has verbally abused me also. IM NOT HAPPY AT ALL. my mom said she is trying to go to court to get me half of the time. i haven't told her that my dad slapped me in the face. my grandparents on my dad's side is also rascist

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there! Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to share what's going on in your life and how you're feeling, but we're glad you did.

      It sounds like there's a lot going on at home, and we're sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you. Your dad being rude to you, calling you names and physically hurting you is not okay, and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. While we understand that it can be hard to talk about these sort of things, it might be a good idea to let your mom know how your dad and stepmom have been treating you. If that's not something you're comfortable doing at the moment, another option could be to talk to someone who you trust, like a doctor, teacher, or therapist. These are people who can help ensure that you're safe. It's probable that Child Protective Services (CPS) would also get involved to help facilitate your safety. If contacting any of those folks isn't ideal for you, you can always call us here at NRS. We're happy to learn more about what's going on, support you however we can, and file an abuse report with CPS with you and/or for you. We can also provide you with referrals that might be useful to you as well, like a therapist.

      Please feel free to reach out to us through our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or through our live chat that you can find on our website: 1800runaway.org--we're available through both, 24/7.

      Hang in there.

      NRS

  • I'm wanting to live with my mom but my dad has custody and I'm turning 13 in Feb.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. The best way we can help is if you (or your dad) give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We can look into possible legal resources that may be able to assist in a transfer of custody. Till then, please stay safe! We look forward to hearing from you.

      All the best,
      NRS
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