Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

[Guest]

Am only 11 and I wanna live with my mom but my dad won't let me and am also scared to ask him

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on, it sounds like you are in a very stressful situation. It may be a good idea to speak with your mom about moving in with her and making a plan to approach your dad to talk about how you're feeling. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to live back with my mom but my dad isnt ok with it. Ive lived with my mom my whole life but since we struggled a little bit my dad took me to live with him on a base in massechutets . I got in trouble with drugs in school and i have a tattoo so my dad is using it against my mom in court. He has temporary custody but hes trying to get full custody. He constantly looks through my phone and i get in trouble about a lot of things i never gotten in trouble about. Im not as active as i used to be and im more sad, i sleep way more and i dont feel comfortable talking to my dad and step mom as much as i do with my mom. Shes like my bestfriend. I barley come out of my room and i feel like im trapped. I love my dad but i dont like living with him. My moms working on getting me back but i have doubt thats not going to happen. My dad lives on a military base and i miss my friends and family. I just want to go live with my mom again. I dont know what to do.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.With situtions like these it is important to remember to record stuff or even go to a counselor to kind of show that staying with your dad might not be a good idea since it seem like you are showing signs of depression. Maybe his home isn’t the best in order to help with that. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

My sister wants to come live with my dad but my mom wont let her we are from Texas my mom moved last week to New York she didn’t want to go in the first place my mom told her they were going for 3 weeks when she got there she soon realized they weren’t coming back and was tricked now my mom saying she can’t live with my dad because me and my brother live with him and we didn’t graduate she said if my sister wants to live with him she’s going to take it court and use the excuse that me and my brother didn’t graduate. Also my sister never did want to live with her she’s always wanted to live with my dad but was too scared to leave her and leave her “alone” because she was the only one living with her although she is remarried and now she lives in New York with her husband so my sister wants to leave now that she won’t be alone

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

Sounds like your sister is in a really difficult situation with her mom threatening to try to go to court over custody issues due you all not graduating from school and your sister wanting to live with your dad. That sounds like a confusing and stressful situation, and that has to be so frustrating that you mom moved her out there without her knowing. If you haven't already, you might get your dad involved so he could prepare to go to court for her if mom does go that route. If her parents have split custody, and she runs from her mom's place to her dad's place, police might consider that a civil issue for the courts rather than a runaway situation. If you all need any legal aid resources to help go through your legal options with moving your sister to your dad's please do not hesitate to call or chat us.

We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Hello.

I am 12 years old and I am living with my dad. However, I am very unhappy here, but clearly my dad nor stepmom cares.
I seem to almost always cry when I come home to my dads, and have experienced fear of coming back. This is the complete opposite when I am at my moms. She makes sure we have food, we have a proper hygiene, etc. Dad just neglects us. He doesn't pay attention to our needs. And once, my stepmom ignored my siblings when all they asked for is lunch! It made me beyond mad and I wanna do something about it. Dad won't agree however, and my mom does. Please help ASAP!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out! It sounds like your are very unhappy living with your dad and stepmom and that your mom takes good care of you and your siblings; while your dad and stepmom ignore you, even for necessities like food.
We are not legal experts, and things can get a little complicated depending on custody arrangements. Perhaps you could talk to your mom about getting legal custody through the courts. With your dad and stepmom neglecting you and not providing food, Child Help (1-800-786-2929, childhelp.org) may also be able to help. They have crisis counselors 24/7 to talk about child abuse, the next steps to report (if you want to), and tips of getting custody transferred.

We can also call out with you to make the abuse report, if you want to do that and you would like support. We understand that can be scary! We are anonymous and confidential here at NRS, but if you would like to call at 1-800-786-2929 and give us your name and information, we can call with you!

We are here by chat and phone 24/7. Call us at 1-800-786-2929, or live chat through the button at the top of this site.

It shows tremendous strength to reach out and we are here to support you through this very difficult time.

[Guest]

I want to live with my mom but she has no custody. I hate my dad he emotionally abuses me and sometimes physical. I miss living with my mom and I love her and know she will take better care of me. But my dad will barley let me see her what do I do please help!

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You mentioned that your dad is sometimes physically abusive, we care a lot about your safety and that raises some concern. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

It's great to hear that your mom is so supportive and that you two get along so well. Custody and visitation agreements can often times be complicated and may involve lawyers and visits to family court. If your mom does not currently have a lawyer you two can go to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/ to find legal aid groups in your area.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i came to live with my dad and ive trying to get back to my mum in a different state he said he would let me if i had reasons


how do i approach this?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. From what we understand about the situation it might be good to write out some reasons for why it might be best to leave home. If you wish to talk through we would be glad to help out. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I 14 and i live with my dad my mom lives in south Carolina I want to live with my mom i havent brought it up to my dad but my he will just keep saying no... I miss my mom so much i wanna see her again
Everytime me or my brother want to vist or she wants to visit my dad says no... What do i do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It's great to hear that you and your mom get along so well and have a good relationship. Custody and visitation agreements can often times be complicated and may involve lawyers and visits to family court. If your mom does not currently have a lawyer you two can go to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/ to find legal aid groups in your area.

It sounds like your dad is not open to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about not seeing your mom. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello!
I am a 13 year old transboy and I live with my father. However, I am quite unhappy with my living conditions. I want to live with my mother, but my dad always says no. The last time I asked he screamed at me for what felt like hours. I didn't bring it up again. I have plenty of reasons for why I want to live with my mother.
For starters, I feel much more comfortable with my mom and stepdad. I see my stepdad as almost a real father, and I can actually have a conversation with them without any yelling or insults getting involved. I have developed depression because of being at my dad's. He basically brushed this aside as if it was nothing, and it really hurt. My mom takes care of us more than my dad does. My dad always disregards how I feel and pretty much tells me "There's gonna be negativity whether you like it or not, you should just socialize more"
Which, it's not that simple. My stepmom and her kids are demons. Try to talk with them and you'll always get insulted. It has affected me a TON and I want out. Please help!

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are in a frustrating situation. It must be hard to try and talk to your dad about how you are feeling and have him keep down playing how you feel. If you ever want to talk with someone about how you are feeling you can contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI. Also if you want to talk with someone who may understand what you are going through contact Trans Lifeline at 1877-565-8860.
It’s good that you at least have your mom and stepdad who support you. Maybe you can try having a conversation with them about how things are going at your dad’s and you can come to an understanding about how to move forward. Sometimes talking to loved ones about how you are feeling can alleviate some of the stress because they can go over some options with you. Also talking to friends or family can help you feel supported. If you want to us to assist you in starting the conversation with your mom, you can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY and we can do a conference call. Its tough being in a household were you are not valued and constantly feel like you are being yelled at. If you want to continue to talk through your situation you can always contact us. We are 24/7 and here to help. Best of luck!

[Guest]

I'm only 13 and my dad has a wife my step mom and she has been verbally abusive in a case once made me want t hurt myself and when she does it she calls me all this stuff and says I'm a failure and how she doesn't like me. Though my dad hears this stuff and knows I tried to t myself because of her he does nothing let's her do it and it's been happening for I would say 5 years. I want to live with my mom but he won't let me and honestly I need a way out of here I feel alone at times like my dad doesn't care that she hurts me and makes me feel like nothing. I have thought of how he might feel upset but he can't blame he doesn't help me with my problems. I have a half sister and she curses my step mom out flips her off and tells her to leave her alone and she doesn't have to listen and my step mom never hurts her because it's her child. If I were to do that to her she would attack me push my stomach and spit on me and call me names but does my dad see it and help leave her NO! I'm stuck and I need help because at this rate I would leave and go with my mom in a heart beat the only problem is she lives Colorado and I live in Vegas any advice please respond and help.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I want to lie with my mom and im 13 do I have a say.


There was a time where my mom was abusive and cps had to get involved and she lost custody of us. She didn't have full custody, but we got to her. After I stopped seeing my mom, I had to spend more time with my father. I thought it would be a good thing, but over the year, things started to get worse. My dad will say things to me saying, " If I wanted to see my mom, why did I say anything in the first place when she was hitting "me. I see my mom 10hrs twice a month and I get to talk to her. My mom changed I feel more comfortable in her house than in mine. I always have this fear I don't know how to explain it but home doesn't feel like home most of the times I wish I didn't have to go with my Father and his wife all the time. My father as well lives in Mexico so we cross the border every day and it gets exhausting and when we ask if we can live in the states he gets mad and say no because it's what he says and he's the one the bosses. The tension in our house has also gotten bad we have had an argument for weeks straight or it argument after argument and it gets harder every day. I really want to know what I can do because I can’t stand living in this house anymore.

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad’s house is an incredibly stressful. Custody arrangements are usually decided by the people involved and their lawyers so if you haven’t already spoken to your mom about trying to change the custody arrangement, it might be a good idea to start there.
We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally, if you are under the age of 18 you are still under the custody of a legal guardian. It’s not illegal to run away from a legal guardian, but your mother could potentially get in trouble for allowing you to stay with her if her custody was revoked. If you haven’t already, you could consider talking with your case worker about your situation. We also have legal aid resources if you have more questions about the specific laws in your state.
It’s good that your mom has changed but if you still have fear that she may revert back that might not be the safest environment either. Sometimes talking about how you are feeling with a guidance counselor, friend of the family, or therapist. We also offer conference calling if you want support and decide to talk to your dad about what you are feeling those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you would like you can call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or live chat with us at www.18000runaway.org and we can listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

[Guest]

I want to move with my mom but my dad won't let me and my step mom hates me i'm about to be 12 and i really want to live with my mom so i need your help what do i do how do i help

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

You mentioned that you want to leave your dad and step mom’s house, and move in with your mom. You’re really brave for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re in difficult situation, and we are here to help. An option to explore would be to reach out to your mom, and let her know what’s going on at home with your dad that you want to live with her instead. You may also explore the option to talk with your dad, and letting him in on why you think that your stepmom hates you. You both may talk things out, and your dad may hear what you have to say.

If you are every feeling unsafe in your home, you can text the word safe and your location to 44357. The National safe place will text you a location to go to, and a case worker will be out to assist you. Safe places very by city and state, and if you want to know if there’s a safe place in your area, you can input your address in their website at the nationalsafeplace.org.

Thank you once again for reaching during this difficult time. We hope these resources could be of some use to you. Please don’t hesitate to call us anytime at 1800) 786-2929, and we can reach out to other resources on your behalf. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Throughout the years I have been back and forth living with my mom or my dad. This year living with my dad has been worse than it has ever been before. I have had real bad issues and I act out because of the emotional and mental abuse that I go through because of him. I really love my mom and want to live with her for good but my dad said I am not going to ever until I am 18. My mom just moved to Arizona and I live in ohio. Its killing me to live here I am abused emotionally every day all the time by everyone I live with. How can I live with my mom? Please help

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

From what you shared, you have lived with both parents at different times and right now you are with your dad. It sounds like living with your mom full time is an issue of custody and most likely she would either have to work out an agreement with your dad or take him to court. We are not legal experts here at NRS, so we cannot say for sure how you would be able to live with your mom. Perhaps reaching out to your mom or another trusted family member will help you better understand the situation and have an advocate on your side. If you call our hotline or chat with us through www.1800runaway.org we can provide legal aide resources in your area. Speaking to someone with more knowledge of the legal issues involved, could better help you discover your possible options.

You mentioned that your dad is emotionally abusive toward you and this is not okay. The national child abuse hotline (1-800-422-4453 ; www.childhelphotline.org) is available 24/7 to provide support while you deal with this situation and they may be able to offer additional ideas for living with your mom.

We truly want to be a support for you while you navigate this difficult situation. Please do not hesitate to reach out anytime if you would like to talk more in detail and brainstorm some options together.

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 13 and i've been wanting to live with my mom for the longest time now and shes ok with that but my dad wont let me. He says that i have no control over my life and that i cant make decisions like that and i get yelled at all the time because my dad and his girlfriend have very strict rules that i have a hard time following and i cant stay there anymore i don't know what to do because they aren't letting me out of the house and i have no way of contacting my mom because my dad destroyed my phone and i hate my step mom and now they are threatening me with sending me to juvie.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for contacting NRS,
We are so sorry for what you are going through. It seems as though you are struggling to get through the situation you are faced with. You mentioned wanting to go to your mom and trying to live with her. Unfortunately it does not seem like abuse but rather this seems like a legal battle. If you are with your dad it is probably because the court decided it would be best for you to live with them. So it becomes a custody battle of you. If you get the chance maybe emailing your mom over the computer as you did now might help. You can ask why your dad has custody of you and not her. It might be a good idea to ask your mom to find a lawyer who can help with your situation. As far as sending you to juvie they cannot send you to something like that unless you have broken the law. They are simply trying to frighten you.
If you feel you need to talk further with us please do not hesitate to call or use our chat option online as we don’t normally respond to second emails. Our call option is 1-800-786-2929 and you can find our chat option online at 1800runaway.org (click on the chat option). We hope you are able to find a quick solution to your predicament , NRS

[Guest]

I want to live with my mom but my dad want let me because he says that she is bad and don’t care for me but she do and I want to know what happens to my mom, I’m 13 finna be 14 I just miss my mom I have weird feelings like my dad hates my mom, lord please let me move back with my mom. I’m only 12 I want to move back with my mom but I’m just scared to tell my dad. Can you guys please let me move back with my mom? Please.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. it sounds like you really miss your mom and would somehow like to live with her instead of your dad. We are not legal experts and have no say in which parent to live with. We would however like to hear more about your situation so we might explore if there are any options you might have to try and work something out.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to see my mom but my dad keeps me from her


So my dad is a drunk and beats me he has left bruises and has cut my ear from pulling so hard and has also fractured a rib i need help I'm 14 and I just can be here anymore my mom just called today asking if she can see me my dad said no right away and said if she comes he will murder her I need help I'm abused every god damn day thank u

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like what you are going through is abuse. If you are in immediate danger, we encourage you to call 911.
You do not deserve to be hit. No one deserves to be treated like that. We are here to support you and want you to know that you are not alone.

One option you have is reporting the abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). We understand that this may be a really difficult decision, but if it is something you are interested in, we could help you make that call or support you through the entire process if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If a child abuse report is taken, your local child protective branch can decide to investigate, which could potentially lead to removal following the discovery of abuse in the home.
There is an organization called Child Help that advocates for young people in unsafe situations at home. Child Help has a National Child Abuse Hotline that you can reach by calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them on their website at (childhelp.org). They may be able to help you brainstorm some options and they can also support you in making a child abuse report if you decide you would like to.

If you would like to talk more about your situation in depth, please give us a call or chat with us through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7, confidential, and here to listen and help however we can.

Stay safe,
NRS