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  • Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

    I'm 15 about to be 16 in August. I want to live with my mom but my dad keeps denying it and giving me a really hard time saying i can't. I'm visiting my mom in Massachusetts sense it's summer , My dad lives in New York. I don't want to go back. It's really bad there there's a lot of emotional abuse and at a time there was physical. It makes me wanna die being there. I just want to stay here permanently. Can he make me come back once I'm 16? Or if I have to go back what can I do so I can move with her? I need answers ! PLEASE HELP AND TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET OUT OF MY DADS HOUSE.

  • #2
    Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. Hopefully you’ll find our answer helpful.
    We’re sorry you feel this way, and we understand how frustrating this must be for you. We really want you to know that no one deserves to feel this way, or be treated this way. You said that things have gotten physical with your dad in the past, if you are interested on making a report on this there is a phone number that you might find useful, the agency is called CHILD USA and their phone number is 1-800-422-4453. You also mentioned that this situation makes you want to die, and just know you are not alone so if you ever feel this way again you can contact the National Suicide Hotline which is 1-800-273-8255. Just so you know, you don’t have to be suicidal to call this hotline, this hotline is for people that are going and feeling the same emotions as you. They also have a chat in case you do not feel comfortable with actually talking on the phone, you can go to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

    You also mentioned wanting to live with your mom, and that situation can be a bit complex. If your parents have shared custody you are able to live with your mom, if both parents are okay with that. Also, it all depends on what your parents settled in court when they were fighting on custody. However if you feel comfortable with reporting the abuse that you talk about and your parents are open with going back to court, you could share with the judge how you feel unsafe with your dad. We are not legal experts though so please keep in mind that what we are saying is just generally speaking.

    Again this can be a complicated thing to explain through here since we do not know more details about your current situation and who has custody, so if you feel comfortable with contacting us, please do at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We are here 24/7 to help you. Hope this was helpful. Good Luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

      Thank you, but yeah they have joint custody. But my dad doesn't want me to move with my mom so technically they aren't both ok with it. My mom is but he isn't.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me.

        Hello there –

        Thank you for getting back into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline again. Sounds like you have some more information regarding you situation at home. More specifically wanting to move out of your father’s house and move in to live with your mother. It can be very overwhelming when there isn’t a direct answer if you can leave or not.

        Now like we have stated before, we are aren’t legal experts here by any means, so we can only talk in general about what the rules/laws are for runaways. Since it sounds like both of your parents aren’t on the same page with letting you move from one house to the other, just leaving might be a little difficult. One parent usually gets awarded primary custody (your father) and the other secondary custody (your mother); assuming since you’ve been living with your father. So if your mother were to just come and get you, she might be get in trouble with the law herself. If it’s not in the agreement that she’s even allowed to see you, according to the judge’s discretion, your father could press charges against her and take her to court.

        We know that you have stated that your father doesn’t seem to be on board with you letting you leave with your mother. Is there any particular reason of that decision? Your father may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your mother), but without getting an official document from the court he would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that he can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again until your 18. If you were to leave home and live with your mother, think about what your father might do in that situation. Either give you permission or file a runaway report. Maybe talking to the both of them at the same time to come up with a solid plan about the reasons why you want to move from your father's house

        If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
        Last edited by ccsmod8; 07-14-2015, 11:41 AM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          joint custudy

          I want to live with my mom in about to be 16. my dad says he will not let me live with my mom .there is a lot of Veble and amoshnal abuse.
          he has threaten to hit us with a thick leather belt. he has before and left marks.his girl friend gets in my and my sisters face and holds her kids on a pedistol . i just need to get out of there.

          Comment


          • #6
            re: joint custudy

            Hey there,

            Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can. From what you shared, it seems like home is not a great place to be and are looking for a way out. Remember that if you are ever feeling in immediate danger, you are able to dial 911 for safety reasons.

            You mentioned that you have been dealing with a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, it is unfortunate to hear that you are not comfortable in your home. No one ever deserves to be treated that way, you should always feel comfortable in your own home. Have you considered talking to anyone about how you have been feeling? Perhaps an option could be to speak to your school counselor and seeing if there are ways that you would be able to go live with your mother.

            We want to let you know that we are not legal experts here, which means that we are only able to speak in general terms about your situation. An option you may want to consider is reaching out to a legal aid and asking some questions regarding what it would take in order for you mother to regain custody of you. If you are able to give us a call, we would be more than willing to provide you with a resource where you will be able to do so.

            We hope that we were able to help you think a little more about your options and brainstorm some more with you, if you feel like you would still need some more support or go through some more options, please feel free to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we are here 24/7. We also have a live chat service which is available from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do and hope to hear from you soon.

            Stay strong,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I have the same situation

              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              I'm 15 about to be 16 in August. I want to live with my mom but my dad keeps denying it and giving me a really hard time saying i can't. I'm visiting my mom in Massachusetts sense it's summer , My dad lives in New York. I don't want to go back. It's really bad there there's a lot of emotional abuse and at a time there was physical. It makes me wanna die being there. I just want to stay here permanently. Can he make me come back once I'm 16? Or if I have to go back what can I do so I can move with her? I need answers ! PLEASE HELP AND TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET OUT OF MY DADS HOUSE.
              My mom and dad have joint custody...my mom sees my mom 5 days and then my dad and then my mom has me mon. And tues. and my dad has me wed. And thurs. I hate going with my dad he yells at me and is never home and I cry all the time there. I wanna die sometimes too when I am with my dad. U just have to tell your mom everything that happens...maybe keep a journal secret or something and have her get full custody.

              Comment


              • #8
                Need help ASAP

                I'm 16 my dad and step mom are very physically and mentally abusive to each other cops get called and they lie about it I'm getting very emotionally abused and gained up on by my step mom dad and all my step moms kids my mom is willing to take
                Custody of me my dad refuse to let me see my mom and is always telling me I should give up on her what do I do I want to live with my mom because I don't feel safe in the house I'm in now it's not a place any child should be

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Need Help ASAP

                  Thank you very much for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to listen, and here to help. We are so sorry that you are going through such difficulty! You certainly do not deserve to be abused in any way. It’s great to hear that your mom is such an ally to you and that she would want to take custody of you. It is also great to know that the police does get called, even if your dad and step mom deny what is going on.

                  Have you considered filing a child abuse report? They accept confidential reports, and they help investigate whether abuse is happening at home. The child abuse hotline is 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). You or someone you know could file this report each and every time an incident occurs. Moreover, you deserve to be in a home where you feel safe. Have you considered calling the police too, when you do feel unsafe?

                  It sounds like you would really love to be with your mom, but the custody issues are keeping you from her. Has your mom ever considered talking with someone from legal aid in order to help her try to get custody and/or more visitation rights? If this is something that you all may be interested in, feel free to check out this website to search for legal aid nearest you:
                  http://www.lawhelp.org/find-help

                  We would love to learn more about your situation, so that we can help you even more. Feel free to call or chat with us. See our contact information below. We can assist you with filing the abuse report, finding shelter, legal aid resources, or just provide a listening ear for you to share whatever is bothering you. We appreciate your contacting us, and we hope that your situation improves. You deserve to have a happy home where you do feel safe.

                  Best,

                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Don't want to live with my dad

                    How do I make it so I don't have to see him I'm 12 abd he hits me in the head with his phone I don't want to see him all me and him do is fight

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      re: Don't want to live with my dad

                      Hey there,

                      You shouldn't have to deal with physical abuse with your dad. That must be really tough to go through that at a young age. It may be best options to contact local police, or child protective services in your area for immediate assistance. We can't directly help you or tell you how to run away. Those options above are usually the first ones who respond to issues where a child is in danger. If you don't want to talk with them, we would encourage you to call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453. They are a resource that deals directly with youth experiencing abuse. You can talk with them about any other options you think may help. Feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat via our website if you need additional assistance.

                      Good luck and stay safe,
                      NRS
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                      Tell us what you think about your experience!
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I want to live with mom and see dad every other weekend

                        I am 13 and have talked to both of my parents alot about living with my mom.
                        My parents have been divorced since i was 2.
                        I have told my mom that i want to and she said i could but my dad said no i only get to see you every other week.
                        I have brought it up 4 times in the past month but he said he is pissed and doesnt want to talk about again.
                        So i have no idea on how to convince him .
                        What makes me mad is he calls me selfish yet he is being selfish because he said that it is his decision not mine.
                        If you know what i could do please respond.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

                          Thank you for using our bulletin service.

                          It sounds like you are stuck in a really difficult spot between your two parents and we appreciate you reaching out for help.
                          It is understandable why you would feel mad about your dad calling you selfish about wanting to live with your mom. You could try having a sit down conversation with both mom and dad and let them know how you are feeling and why you feel that way. Maybe you guys can come up with a list of pro’s and con’s for the change. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that you are more than welcome to give us a call.

                          One of the services that we provide for youth is conference calling. During one of our conference calls we would stay on the line with you and your parent and act as a mediator. One of our trained liners would be there to provide support and make sure that both sides are heard equally. You might find this service useful because you mentioned that you have been having a hard time trying to get your dad to talk to you about moving.

                          If this sounds like something you are interested in or if you just want to explore more options feel free to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                          Tell us what you think about your experience!
                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            brother

                            My dad won't let my big brother live with his mom he beat him till he predator himself help him

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Want to live with my mom but dad won't let me

                              Hello,

                              Thank you for sharing with us. It sounds like a really stressful situation for you and your brother. No one deserves to be physically hurt. It sounds like he is trying to better his situation. He’s lucky to have you for support. Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we can help you or your brother run through some options and brainstorm ways to stay safe.

                              Have you ever told anyone about what has been happening at home (family friend, school friend, relative, any one at school, etc)? Perhaps having someone to talk to about what you have been dealing with can help reduce some of that stress you've been feeling.

                              Reporting abuse is also an option. We know that this can be really intimidating and really difficult for a lot of people. Here's a little bit of information in case that's an option that you're considering. If abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it to the proper authorities. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

                              Another resource that you might be able to look into if you’re looking for a safe place to go and talk to someone, would be to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there are any safe places near you listed. They are usually places like designated agencies, shelters, fire stations, libraries, etc. So that is always an option if you feel like talking to someone in person and what has been going on or if you just need of a safe place to stay.

                              We hope this is helpful and that you contact us through our 24 hour hotline or our online chat.

                              Stay strong,
                              NRS
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment

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