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  • 14 y/o wants to start a new life

    Okay so my Girlfriend is 14 y/o and she has been sexually abused by her step dad(He would just grab her butt) and CPS was called by the school because one of her friends told the teacher. CPS dropped the case because they forced her to say she was only trying to get attention but I know the truth and she told me. Her step dad always gets in her face and yells at her for no reason and she just can't take it anymore. They don't even let her talk to her real dad. I am 17(2 Years 9 Months age difference). She lives in California and I live in Utah we have been together for a long time and her real dad lives in Utah aswell. I told her if she is really going to run away that I want to be apart of it because I don't want her doing anything stupid or getting hurt. I told her I would come get her and bring her back to Utah. I have my own house(My name isn't on the lease) no one knows where I live besides her brother that already lives with me because he's my bestfriend. I just don't want her to lose her life until she is 18 because that's in 3 years and so many months. She's worried about still being in school because she's just starting 9th grade and I'm going into 12th. I have a solid job and make enough to support a small family so we would be financially stable. And I know the age difference is alot and could be considered statutory rape but we don't condone in ANY sexual activity. I really want to help her and make it happen but I'm also scared because that's 3 years you have to hide from being caught.

  • #2
    RE: 14 y/o wants to start a new life

    Hello there –

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We understand you are in a difficult situation and we are here to help you in any way we can. It sounds as if your girlfriend is going through a really hard time at home right now dealing with your step-father. It seems that you care about her very much, she is lucky to have such a great support system in her life. It’s very brave of you both to go through something like this and still continue to look for help.
    It sounds like you have thought of the safest ways you could help your girlfriend which is great. An option that she could consider is re-opening the sexual abuse case that was previously filed. She could let them know what is currently going on and that she feels unsafe at home. Even calling police to make some police report against her step-father to have some documentation to provide to child protective services. Your girlfriend could also try calling RAINN (1-800-656-4673). This is a sexual abuse hotline that could offer her support for what she is going through and suggest options. The website for RAINN is WWW.RAINN.org

    If running away is what she has decided on, make sure you are both prepared for any consequences that might come from running away. Unfortunately here at the NRS we aren’t legal experts so we can’t tell you exactly what happens. But generally because your girlfriend is 14 years old and the legal age is 18 for most states, her parents can file a runaway report and request she be brought home; even if she has crossed state lines. Since you are closer to the age of 18, her parents may also press charges against you for aiding and harboring her in running away, if they chose so. The law for these cases varies depending on where she lives. To find out more information you could call her local sheriff department and anonymously ask what would happen if your girlfriend ran away to a different state and if someone your age tried to help her. They could give you further information.

    It is wonderful that your girlfriend still wants to try to go to school if she did move with you to Utah. Unfortunately, a minor usually needs a legally guardian to sign up for school. There is something called the McKinney-Vento Homeless Education Assistance Act that is a federal law that ensures immediate enrollment and educational stability for homeless children and youth. That could also be an option she could try to see if she qualifies for.

    If none of these options seem to workout, please try to give us a call at 1-800—RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also recommend that your girlfriend gives us a call if she wants to talk through other options or about what she is going through. We are a confidential, 24 hour, 7 day a week hotline that is here to help in any way we can. We wish you both the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      help me please

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

        We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need. We have a database of resources and if you’re able to call in, we can try to brainstorm with you and get a better idea of your situation. If you need somewhere to stay, while on the run, we can try to find a runaway shelter for you. Unfortunately, we are non-directive at NRS, and can't give out advice, but we're always here to talk and listen.

        Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

        Be well, NRS

    • #4
      Im 14 and wanna runaway to Alabama. i live in pennsylvania and my step dad is abusive and when we called CYS they didnt do anything...4 TIMES. I need to get out but i dont know how to. please help me ASAP

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out. That sounds incredibly stressful that you are being harmed at home and CYS/CPS did not do anything. No one deserves to be harmed like that, and CPS is meant to protect you in dangerous situations. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger at home please call 911. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

        If you are interested in taking legal action again CPS you might reach out to Justice for Children www.justiceforchildren.org. They are a pro bono legal agency for youth who have been failed by child protective services.

        Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us if you would like us to look for local emergency runaway youth shelters for you. National Safe Place might also be a helpful resource for you as well http://www.nationalsafeplace.org. "Text the word “safe” and your current location (address, city, state) to 4HELP (44357). Within seconds, you will receive a message with the closest Safe Place site and phone number for the local youth agency. For immediate help, reply with “2chat” to text interactively with a trained counselor." You should do whatever you need to do to stay safe, and constantly be thinking about your safety each step of the way.

        If you call or chat us, we can provide support, talk through your situation, help brainstorm your options, and look for local resources for you. You should not have to go through this alone and we are available by phone 24/7.

        We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

        Tell us what you think about your experience!

        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod7; 03-23-2018, 02:44 PM.

    • #5
      i’m 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and he’s moving to florida soon, nobody knows except his family and me. it would be super easy for me to go to with him, the only problem is school

      Comment


      • #6
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We aren't legal experts, but school and you being a minor would be possibly roadblocks to leaving with him. Because you are a minor, if you run away and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for him for what is called harboring a runaway. There could also be other laws that could be in affect based on him being an adult and you being a minor living with him if you did run away. You could look up some of your rights based on your state here: https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/

        If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents to ask about living with him, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        Best,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #7
          I’m 13 (I’ll be 14 in February), I live in Texas but I want to run away to California (I might run away with a friend) , but I don’t know how because you need your parents to get into a train/bus/plane if you’re a minor, can you please help me get out. My parents are very abusive (verbally not that much physically anymore) and I’m 100% sure they LOVE my brothers more than me, they abuse so much that I got depression/anxiety because of them (and suicidal thoughts). That’s why I want to run away, I’ll be way happier if i do. I already have money and stuff I just need to figure out how to Go to California. (And I tried calling some stations, they said I need a parent to drop at the bus and someone to get me when I get to California)

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Sorry to hear that life at home is so stressful.
            We can’t give any advice on how to run away, but we do always encourage people to be safe. Running away can be scary and dangerous; it’s important to make a plan and to be prepared for different situations. For example, what would you do in an emergency, how would you feed yourself, what would you need to take with you to stay warm.
            Regarding your parents, no one should be abused (physically or verbally). You always have the right to file an abuse report with the TX Department of Family and Protective Services (1-800-252-5400). If you don’t want to do that, we might suggest talking to someone about how you’re feeling, whether that’s a friend, family member, trusted teacher or us. They might be able to help have a calm conversation at home with your parents. Do keep in mind though, that if you report abuse to a teacher or other “mandated reporter”, they will be required to file an abuse report with the State.
            And finally, if you are feeling depressed or suicidal, you might want to consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (1-877-726-4727).
            If you have any other questions or you just want to talk about what’s going on in more detail, you’re always welcome to call us (1-800-RUNAWAY). We’re open 24x7.
            Best.

        • #8
          I'm 14 and I want to run away because I don't like my family, my family is broken and my life is a mess I hate myself and I don't want to be there I live in texas even though I know the consequences of running away I'm willing to take them i want to run away to Ohio to someone who is just like a father to me I asked my mother if she could put me for adoption but she wont let me and I really want her to so please help me

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there. Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We know it’s not easy to reach out about these kinds of stressful situations. It sounds like your current situation with your mother and the rest of your family is very frustrating and overwhelming.
            It’s great that your “father figure” in Ohio is someone in your life that is supportive. However, we would like to notify you that if you run away, your parents will be under legal pressure to file a runaway report. This means that the police in your area would be tasking themselves with finding you and bringing you home. If your parents are familiar with the “father figure” that you mentioned and comfortable with letting you stay with him, they can sign a legally-supported alternative guardianship contract. Otherwise, if you run away, you will not be committing a crime, but your running away will be considered a “status offense” leading to police intervention.
            We want to you to know that we are available to follow up with you and provide additional, confidential support 24/7 on both our phone line ((773) 880-9860) and our chat line. We’re really glad you reached out to us. Again, it takes a lot to ask for help and it is great to see that you are trying to figure out your options. Know we’re here to listen and here to help!

        • #9
          I’m 13 years old and I want to leave home because my parents use me as a slave and verbally abuse me. Idk how or what to do, I want to go to Indiana (I live in Illinois) one of my friends said he would help me and i trust him, how would I use a bus or get there? And how can I do this without getting caught?

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out us. It takes a strong and courageous person to ask for help. It sounds like you’ve been having a difficult time with your parents, and it must be hard to feel like your parents are using you as a slave and verbally abusing yourself. You do not deserve to be treated like that.

            It’s good that you’ve been thinking about your options. An option to consider is to file a report with your local child protective services. Typically, once a report is filed, CPS would decide whether or not to begin an investigation. If you would like to pursue this option and need support through this process, we can help you file the report. You can also contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453, and they will be able to file the report for you as well.

            You mentioned that you were thinking about running away to your friend’s home. If you decide to pursue this option, we just wanted to make you aware of a few things. If you choose this option, your parents would be able to file a runaway report. You wouldn’t be in legal trouble, but the report would let police know that you left without your parents’ permission. If you happen to run into the police, they most likely would return you to your parents’ home. Police departments may vary in the handling of runaways, but that is typically what happens. If you need help brainstorming a plan, please give us a call.

            We understand that these are big decisions to make and can help you explore all of your options more in-depth. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re here 24/7 and are confidential. We hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

        • #10
          Hey there, I am getting neglected by my mom and I want to live with my dad, but my mom doesn't allow him to come near us or even talk to us. She doesn't have a restraining order on him and my dad didn't lose custody or anything. I asked her if I could just live with my dad but, she refused.

          It stresses me out so bad, I live In Arizona and I'm 14, I just want to live with my dad. Would he have to take me to court and get me emancipated or no? Thank you for reading this

          If not, I'll try and run away to a new city and take a few stuff with me that I need. She's currently getting drugged by her boyfriend but, I have no evidence I can bring to court, I just want to run away and live with my dad..

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. Your dad could also pursue getting custody of you if he chose to do so. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

            Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

            Be safe,

            NRS

        • #11
          Hi, I am 18, I live in Alabama, and my girlfriend who is 16 is being verbally and mentally abused at home. She plans on running away when she turns 17, and I plan to help her. What are Alabama laws on a 17 year old fleeing home without parental consent? What are some consequences I can consider? What are some factors that can play in to change any opposing forces minds on bringing her back to that hell-hole? Is there anything I can do to keep her whereabouts secret?

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            You can pass along this information to your girlfriend...
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be the case if you stay with your friend. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #12
          I am 14 and my mom and I don’t get on the best of terms she is always yelling at me and she treats me as if I am a worker

          I want to know if I could still be in contact with my dad

          and if I could still be able to go to my same high school any help?

          Comment


          • ccsmod4
            ccsmod4 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,
            Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. This may be something you might consider speaking with your father about seeing we don’t know anything about your custody situation. You don’t deserve to be yelled at or mistreated. It must be frustrating for you.
            We would like for you to know we are here to listen and here to help and are here as support to help you during this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            Take care,
            NRS

        • #13
          I’m running away with my girlfriend



          me and my girlfriend are both fourteen and we both hate our lives a lot and we both want to commit suicide, we both have depression and anxiety, we’re planning to runaway to Louisiana and we’re in Maryland, we know that this is the only way that we won’t kill ourselves and we’re planning to go to a Friends house there

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

            If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            We hope to hear from you soon.

            Be safe and stay strong,

            NRS

        • #14
          I’m 14 and my life at home sucks they won’t help me and I probably have depression and a lot of other things and my step dad verbally abused me for 3 years and I live in Rhode Island but someone who is 21 in Texas is willing to adopt me but my parents said no so I want to runaway but I don’t want anything bad to happen to her or me
          Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-08-2021, 09:01 PM.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            We're sorry to hear things are rough at home and that you want to leave. You certainly don't deserve to be abused. Please know that it is not your fault. If you want, you can always make an abuse report about what's going on with us or with www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453). Another resource you that may be helpful to you since you mention depression is www.nami.org. Talking about your feelings is something that helps a lot of people and we hope you consider expressing what's on your mind to someone you trust.

            Running away is a very big decision to contemplate. If you do leave home without permission, just remember that your parents could file a runaway report on you and anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway. We'd like to discuss all your options with you. The best way for us to do that is if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We are confidential, open 24/7, and welcome your call our chat anytime!

            Stay safe!
            NRS
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