Want to move out once turn 18- Need advice/ guidance

[Unregistered]

So things are ruff in the home I live in and I cant take living with my family anymore.
Im still in HS and going into my senior yr.

My gf and her family offered to take me in but my parents will never alow it and will do anything to prevent it.
I have to make a decision soon cause my gf is moving. If i go with her ill move too and ill go to a new school and all. But if I go Ill loose everything I have here and most likely wont be able to take my stuff with me.

Idk what to do and i need help. So please if anyone can help please do so.

[ccsmod0]

re: Want to move out once turn 18- Need advice/ guidance

Hello!

Thanks for reaching out to us, hopefully you’ll find our response helpful. It sounds like you are working on putting together a plan. That's important. It's great that you're thinking through what could possible happen. We cannot tell you what to do, however we can list a couple of things that you might be able to consider before you make such an important decision.

If you were to decide to stay at home, what do you see happening? Do you think you can talk to somebody about what is going on at home? Have you tried having a conversation with your parents? What do you think is the best thing to do to solve whatever problems are going on at home?

Now, if you were to go with your girlfriend and her family, what do you think would happen? Would you have to work? Would you stay in school? What would that situation be like?

Also, if you are to leave before you turn 18, your parents still have the right to make a runaway report and you would be forced back home, but when you are 18 you are legally able to make your own decisions of where to live.

We really hope this helps you on making the correct decision, and remember if you have any more questions or need someone to talk with you can call us at our toll free number 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Good luck!

NRS

[Lucia]

Re: re:

It sounds like you are working on putting together a plan. That's important. It's great that you're thinking through what could possible happen. We cannot tell you what to do, however we can list a couple of things that you might be able to consider before you make such an important decision.

Yes. I try to think of everything that may happen with each choose. This is all very hard for me and I just ask for some help on all this stuff.

If you were to decide to stay at home, what do you see happening? Do you think you can talk to somebody about what is going on at home? Have you tried having a conversation with your parents? What do you think is the best thing to do to solve whatever problems are going on at home?

I honestly don't believe staying at home is a good or desirable chiose.
I've tried talking to them, to coucilers, theripis, ect. I've even gone to DHS for stuff my step mom did to me. She sent me to relatives during the investigation and DHS ruled it 'Unfounded'. :'(
I just want to be as far from her as possible. She's ruined my life twice and turned me into this. :"(

Now, if you were to go with your girlfriend and her family, what do you think would happen? Would you have to work? Would you stay in school? What would that situation be like?

What'd probly happen is family wars. My family hates hers because they are willing to accept me as who I am and cause my b**** of a stepmom wants to hurt me as much as she can.
I will have to work but I already do that, and bring in pretty good sum of cash too. Obviously I'll have to get a new not as great job but I have most of my legal papers on hand already.
I will go to school and try to get into collage.
I hope it's better than what I have here in this home.

Also, if you are to leave before you turn 18, your parents still have the right to make a runaway report and you would be forced back home, but when you are 18 you are legally able to make your own decisions of where to live.

I will go when I'm 18 but I'm just afraid of what my stepmom will do when she looses her punching bag (me). I don't want her to hurt my gf or my brother& my father I'm leaving behind.
Plus I'm leaving a lot of loose ends and idk what to do bout those.

We really hope this helps you on making the correct decision. Good luck!

It has helped. Thank you and would you continue to help please?

[ccsmod3]

Re: re:

Hello again,

It sounds like you're really trying to look at your situation from all angles and have tried various options already such as talking to your parents, therapists, and even DHS. We're very sorry to hear your case with DHS was unfounded and can only imagine what a let down after gathering the courage to make a report in the first place. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you've had an easy go of things and have made the decision to leave as soon as you turn 18. We appreciate you taking the time to read and think about our earlier response and we are here to continue helping as best as we can.

At this point it might be easier to have a more worthwhile discussion if you are able to find a way to reach out directly. If you'd like to keep talking online, we offer Live Chat every day from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST and have started a trial session overnight beginning slightly after midnight CST. Good luck to you!

[Lucia]

It sounds like you're really trying to look at your situation from all angles and have tried various options already such as talking to your parents, therapists, and even DHS.

Ya. I've tried to do everything I can but it only seems I have one option now. :/

We're very sorry to hear your case with DHS was unfounded and can only imagine what a let down after gathering the courage to make a report in the first place.

I was scared to do it but I promised my gf I would. And I made well on that promise even though it didn't go we'll.
gods. Only she kept me going through that. Without her idk were I'd be, I can tell you it's probably not good though.

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you've had an easy go of things and have made the decision to leave as soon as you turn 18. We appreciate you taking the time to read and think about our earlier response and we are here to continue helping as best as we can.

Thank you so much. This all means a lot to me.

At this point it might be easier to have a more worthwhile discussion if you are able to find a way to reach out directly. If you'd like to keep talking online, we offer Live Chat every day from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST and have started a trial session overnight beginning slightly after midnight CST. Good luck to you!

Unfortunately I do not own a cellphone and my tablet doesn't like that chat box on your site. It just kicks me out (my tablet) :/

[ccsmod14]

Re: Re: Re:

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out again. It sounds like you are continuing to try to figure out how to best navigate your situation which is great.

It's unfortunate that you do not have a cell phone, and your tablet does not let you chat with us. We want to let you know that we're toll free, and we're here 24/7 if there is ever a phone that you can borrow from a friend, or if you are able to locate a payphone at any point. In addition, one way that youth connect via chat is often in public libraries, where one can access a different computer.

At this time we will not be able to respond via our bulletin board. For further support, we strongly encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

[Lucia]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out again. It sounds like you are continuing to try to figure out how to best navigate your situation which is great.

It's unfortunate that you do not have a cell phone, and your tablet does not let you chat with us. We want to let you know that we're toll free, and we're here 24/7 if there is ever a phone that you can borrow from a friend, or if you are able to locate a payphone at any point. In addition, one way that youth connect via chat is often in public libraries, where one can access a different computer.

At this time we will not be able to respond via our bulletin board. For further support, we strongly encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

Thank you
If I can do any of those I will.

[Lucia]

Good or Bad Idea

So this whole thing of me getting out. I've came up with a few possible plans.
There's this simple and I think best one, but it might just be my hate getting the best of me.

The plan is once I'm 18 and my step mom gets up in my face or touches me I finally fight back. Idc if I get hurt by her. I'd be nothing new.
But after the fight I'll run and live with my gf and never return home.

Thaughts on this? :/

[ccsmod4]

Want to move out once turn 18- Need advice/ guidance

Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS.
It’s good that you are thinking about future plans and while we do understand the feeling of wanting to defend yourself against any attack. You might consider other options once you reach 18yrs of age instead of waiting for a possible altercation. Have you thought about possibly moving in with your GF as soon as you turn eighteen?

You have the right to want to feel safe from harm. There are laws that protect minors from being physically or emotionally abused by their parents or guardians. A minor being abused can file a child abuse report with their state child protective service agency.
To get more information about reporting child abuse you can contact: Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453
We extend an offer for you to contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) if you would like to talk more about your current situation or future plans.

Thanks again for contacting NRS.
Take Care

[Lucia]

It’s good that you are thinking about future plans and while we do understand the feeling of wanting to defend yourself against any attack. You might consider other options once you reach 18yrs of age instead of waiting for a possible altercation. Have you thought about possibly moving in with your GF as soon as you turn eighteen?

Yes I have but my parents would never let me. More info on my issue above ^

You have the right to want to feel safe from harm. There are laws that protect minors from being physically or emotionally abused by their parents or guardians. A minor being abused can file a child abuse report with their state child protective service agency.

As Ive mentioned before, I have reported it and DHS labled it "unfounded" after there investigation.


I just want out of this house. Theres too much stress and s***. My gf is offering a way out of this hole and Im taking it one way or another.
But I need a way to get out were my parents wont drag me back.
I also would like to know the laws or anything like them for when I do leave. Like can I get all my stuff back?

Thanks so much for allowing me to take some of your guys time over my issue.

[ccsmod11]

RE: Want to move out once turn 18- Need advice/guidance

Thank you for continuing to reach out to NRS. It is great you are trying to work through this issue. Here at NRS we are not legal experts, but would be more than happy to provide you with information to contact legal aid in your area in order to address your specific questions. If you do end up leaving to live with your girlfriend there is always the possibility of your parents filing a runaway report with the police, in which case if they decide to pursue the case and find you they will return you home to your parents/legal guardian. It seems as though retrieving your things once you leave is important to you and learning and knowing about your options further might help answer these sorts of questions. Please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like more information about legal aid. However, you can always contact us 24/7 through the NRS bulletin, email, or chat as well.

Best,
NRS

[Lucia]

If you do end up leaving to live with your girlfriend there is always the possibility of your parents filing a runaway report with the police, in which case if they decide to pursue the case and find you they will return you home to your parents/legal guardian.

Even if Im 18?

It seems as though retrieving your things once you leave is important to you and learning and knowing about your options further might help answer these sorts of questions.

Its just my stuff you know. Some of it cant be replace and i cant take it all with me when i leave. And ya ill look into stuff more.

[ccsmod0]

re:

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out again. At this time we have provided you with various options and support. For further support, we strongly encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p central time.

We look forward to your call or chat.

Best of luck to you Lucia,

NRS

[Lucia]

We look forward to your call or chat.

Ill try to use my last few minutes at work today to chat.
Thank you