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16 year old in NY wants to move in with friend

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  • 16 year old in NY wants to move in with friend

    My friend is 16, 17 in January, and she has a lot of problems at home, her parents yell at her for trivial things, refuse to take her places, and never pay rent so they're constantly moving. They berate her and say no one likes her and that they never wanted her, and they always put her siblings above her. There's little to no physical violence as far as I know, but the verbal abuse and her home life is becoming too much for her.

    In September I'm going to be moving from Long Island(where we both live currently) to upstate NY, and she wants to come with me and stay with me to get away from her family. She's also willing to wait until she is 17 to do so.

    Is it possible for her to come live with me? What would the process be for that to happen? Can it happen without her parents consent?

    Thanks in advance-

  • #2
    re: 16 year old in NY wants to move in with friend

    Dear Sarah,

    Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like your friend’s living situation has become very stressful for her. We’re sorry to hear that she’s going through this, no one deserves to hear berating things at home. You asked about the possibility of your friend moving to upstate NY with you, and while we’re not legal experts, we will do our best to provide you with helpful information.

    Because the laws vary from state to state, we can’t tell you with certainty what the process for her to come live with you without parental consent might be. If she does decide to go with you before she is considered a legal adult, her legal guardians have the right to file a runaway report with their local police department. Running away isn’t illegal, it is considered a status offense, similar to a parking ticket. It’s important to keep in mind that, although running away isn’t illegal, harboring a runaway is. If a youth is found by their local police, they are returned to their legal guardian. If you are charged with harboring a runaway, that carries more serious consequences that can vary from state to state.

    If you’d like more detailed information, it’s often helpful to reach out to your local police non-emergency number. They can tell you when a youth is considered a legal adult, what their procedure is regarding runaway reports, etc. If you’re interested in finding out how custody works, we can connect you with your local child protective services office so that they can better inform you on what that process is. It sounds like you’ve done your best to support your friend through what sounds like a very tough time with her and her family. We wish you all the best as you and your friend consider your options. Please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we are here to support you 24/7.

    Stay Strong,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      My friend who is 16 who is about to be 17, is trying to leave his home due to his living conditions. Is there any way he can leave home legally?


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it looks like you care a great deal about your friend and his well-being. It seems like there are some serious issues going on at your friend’s house. If there is any abuse going on in the home, your friend can always call 911 for emergency assistance. Another option that he has is to file a child abuse report. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed.

        Laws regarding minors and the age of majority (adulthood) can vary greatly from state to state. It could be a good idea to tell your friend about us. We might be able to help him think about the options that may be available to him and help locate any resources that can help.

        If you or your friend would like to go over what’s going on in depth, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        All the best,

    • #4
      I’m turning 16 soon and my girlfriend is turning 17 is it possible for me to move in with her since I’m having difficulties at home..?


      • ccsmod4
        ccsmod4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since you are a minor by law you must have a parent or legal guardian’s permission to move out. If you were to do this your parent’s have could file a runaway report with the police. Once located the police could return you home. Also anyone known to be aiding or harboring a runaway could face legal action.

        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,

    • #5
      A 16 yrs old almost 17, he left his fathers home , where he was physically and Mentally abused and neglected , his father did not even noticed that he was gone for 3 ,days, he crossed the border and is now staying with his mother, he has informed his father that he has no intention of returning to the USA . His father has legal custody, if he is forced to return , he will suffer physical, mental and parental alienation. What can be done to prevent this???


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

        You mentioned that a 16 year old has run away from home, and is residing with their mother who does not have custody. We’re not legal experts, but in most states anyone under 16 is considered a minor. If they were to leave their home without permission, their legal guardian may file a runaway report with the authorities. Whoever they find the youth with, may face some consequences for harboring a runaway. If you wish to know more about the repercussions in your city and state, you may consider reaching out to your local non-emergency number and inquiring about runaway laws.

        Along those same lines, you mentioned that there was abuse in the home where the youth is residing in, and want advice about how to move forward. An option you both may look into would be to report the child abuse to a school counselor or social worker. The National Child Abuse hotline may take reports as well by reaching out to them at 1800) 422-4453.

        We hope that these options and resources may be of some use. If you need more information or want us to reach out to another organization on your behalf, you may contact us anytime at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

    • #6
      Hi, I lived in philadelphia my whole life and my parents has neglected me my whole life and I recently found a job and im balancing school and work, and my parents verbal abuse and threated to shoot my friends they want to sue my job and friends because im 16 working late night, do you think. I can emancipate myself and get an apartment with my friend if im financially stable.


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        It sounds like you are interested in emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
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