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  • #61
    Reply:I ran away at 15 and I wanted to know...


    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #62
      Hi I'm 15 and thinking about running away because my mom wants me to move to where she is I live at my grandparents currently she wants me to move there during Christmas break and I don't want to live with her because I hate her husband and if I move in with them I will runaway or kill myself I have no where to go so if I run away I will be on the streets. Any tips

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.Best, NRS

    • #63
      Hey, I'm 15 and transgender mtf I'm wanting to run away because my mom wants me to move to Tulsa with her I live with my grandparents currently and don't want to live with her and her husband I want to kill myself or runaway but have no where to go I've told a friend about it and they told me not to because I could get in a lot of trouble. I told them I didnt care that I don't want to live with my mom and her husband because her husband is mean and mentally abuses me. And I would rather die then live with them

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage To reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if made to go live with your mom and her husband. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Support can also be found within the transgender community – like these agencies:
        • The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 (www.thetrevorproject.org)
        • Trans Lifeline at 1-877-565-8860 (www.translifeline.org)
        • LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 (www.glbthotline.org)
        • LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743

        You mentioned your friend told you that you would get into a lot of trouble if you ran away. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home – but not detained or locked up or anything. Options on ways to not live with your mom would be with her permission (which doesn’t sound like she is giving). The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

        We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Best, NRS

    • #64
      hey my dad is a drunk and he keeps on telling me i killed my mom shes passed on Christmas of a stroke...he tells me im the devil..and he wishes i die or kill myself..i really cant take this life anymore..its either i kill myself or run away..what can i do to get away from him??.

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello –

        Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes great courage to reach out. We are sorry to hear about the way you have been treated. It sounds horrible to receive mistreatment from someone that should be caring for you. It sounds like the verbal abuse at home is becoming difficult to deal with. It seems that you do not receive the support that you probably should at home. I am also very sorry to hear about your mother, especially over the holidays last year.

        The most important thing is for you to feel safe and supported. Since you are not receiving that at home there are resources out there that can help you. Depending on where you live, there are various youth living assistance programs that can provide the care you need in order to live a happier life. If you would like to learn about these specific programs I would advise you to call into our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-29290).


        Another resource for you could be the National Child Abuse Hotline. You can reach them at 1-800-422-4453. You can call them anonymously to learn about the abuse reporting process, or directly report abuse to this line. They are a good resource for talking through your options if there is verbal/mental abuse going on at home. It will also ensure that if you do decide to runaway that you will not be returned home to an unsafe environment.

        Additionally, another option could be the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 if you feel life has become overbearing. Just know that there are people out there who are willing and able to help you regardless of the difficult situation you are having to deal with at such a young age.

        We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached at the number listed above. We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct. We can also be reached via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

        Best Wishes

        ~NRS

    • #65
      Hi. I’m 16 almost 17 in two months. My mom threatened me by saying “well do you have anywhere else to stay?” My girlfriend and her parents offered to let me live with them in Tennessee (I live in Arkansas right now). I am also on probation until I am 18 years old. What would happen if I quietly packed, got picked up by them, and just disappeared? Since I’m on probation would I get in a ton of legal trouble?? Helpp

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We appreciate you taking the time to seek help and get some resources. From what we gather about your story, it seems like your parents are no longer wanting you to stay with them. While it seems like all would be well with you moving out and staying with you girlfriend the more serious issue is the legal part of your story. A good idea is perhaps to discuss it with your parents who want you out. Since they kind of want to kick you out it would be in their best interest to help out with the legal stuff. Maybe even talking with a lawyer might help as well. We hope that you can find a quick solution to your current issue. If you have any concerns or questions please feel free to contact us at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org).
        Best Wishes- NRS

    • #66
      I am 15 years old and I want to run away to my girlfriend's house. I cant stand living with my family anymore because I get in trouble for everything I do. Just the other day I got my phone taken away probably forever just because I said I had a very bad day at school. My mom kept pestering me about why my day was bad and I kept refusing because I know if I said something about it, she would just change the subject and I get in huge trouble. I eventually gave in and told her about my day and guess what? She changed the subject and I got my phone taken away and since my girlfriend goes to another school, taking my phone away wont allow me to talk to her anymore. I really dont want that and i'm tired of living this life. My girlfriend is the only person that makes me truly happy. Its only her and her dad in their house and I was thinking of convincing him if I could stay till I can legally rent an apartment. Does it require court and stuff if he decides to take me in with my parent's consent?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your relationship with your Mom at home has been really difficult lately, so it’s understandable that you’d want to stay with your girlfriend who makes you happy. Sometimes it’s hard to communicate about personal challenges and hard times, especially with parents who are prying. Your Mom probably really cares about your day, but she may not notice when you’d just prefer to have your own space- it makes sense that this misunderstanding would test your patience. This is all to say that you’re right to feel the way you do and your interest in leaving home totally makes sense. Because you are 15, leaving home will take more than just your parent’s permission, even if they are agreeable. Legally speaking, you are the responsibility of your parents. This could change through emancipation, which does require the court stuff you’ve mentioned. Laws regarding emancipation differ by state, but those that allow it typically require youths to provide evidence that they are able to fully support themselves financially and independently. If you are interested in pursuing emancipation, we encourage you to give us a call! We can help you sort out details, find legal representation, or provide different options and ideas. In the meantime, refreshing your relationship with your Mom at home could be very beneficial. That may mean establishing some distance by spending more time with your own activities outside of the home (with your girlfriend perhaps..), or by embracing your recent differences and conversing about how difficult life at home has been for you. While that option may sound difficult, we’d also be happy to talk to you about it before, after, or even during, by mediating a call between you both. It may be difficult to witness all of the possibilities ahead of you, but we want you to know you do have many options. We’re here for you and will help you consider and explore them all. Give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY any time, 24/7.

        Best, NRS

    • #67
      If i ran away to live with my aunt how would tht situation work out?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems like you are thinking about leaving home.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. Running away from home can be hard in many cases and it may be helpful to think about where you might go and how you might pay for food and other living expenses.
        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #68
      We are the married, educated, financially secure parents of a 15-year old in the state of Indiana. We are the legal parents, and have provided a safe, secure, structured, loving environmenf for our children with everything they NEED as well as most of what they WANT, within reason, throughout their lives. Our 15-year old is struggling with oppositional defiance, anger, depression, and addiction, and refuses to abide by any rules, including school work, limiting foul language, no illicit or illegal substances, no marijuana, pills, alcohol, vape, etc. He has been suspended and expelled from school, has been a runaway twice, physically damaged our home, violent outbursts, etc., and has been arrested for runaway and battery against my husband. We fought to have the charges dropped. We are partnering with a social service agency, have forced him into therapy. He cannot live within our boundaries & wants out. The friends to whom he will run are not positive influences and we do not approve, as they include very young permissive parents who themselves deal drugs, call their own daughter a “hoe”, etc.

      WHAT ARE OUR LIABILITIES/RESPONSIBILITIES if this child runs and lives elsewhere? The last time he fled, the mother of one of his friends called DCS and we were visited by their case workers, who found absolutely no evidence of any abuse or inappropriate activity and would not even open a case. We need to protect our home & our livelihood/career, and have never had any legal trouble...what can we do? Are we breaking the law if he flees?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, so we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. While we aren’t legal experts, we do know some information that may be of use to you.
        What we know is that until a youth is of age (18 in Indiana) they are considered your responsibility. That means that if your child were to run away again and if a friend’s parent were to call DCS, your child could file abuse in the form of neglect or could claim abuse of other kinds. If your child were to run away again (not asked to leave or given permission to leave by you), you do have the option of filing a Run Away Report with the police. Run away reporting is not the same as a missing person as runaways are not actively sought out, but the police may be able to pick the youth up and return them home if you know where to send the police. Run away reporting may also give you the option to press charges against anyone that takes the youth in, as that can be considered “harboring a runaway.” This may protect you from reports of neglect or abuse if you feel comfortable doing so.

        You may also have the option of calling your local police station’s non-emergency number and asking a few clarification questions. Sometimes, if a parent gives a youth permission to leave home and stay with adults that can provide for them and ensure the youth continue their education until adulthood, legal action may also be avoided. This type of law varies state to state and county to county, so clarification from the police may be a good option to explore.

        If you wanted to discuss any of the options we mentioned or think of other ideas to explore our number at 1-800-786-2929 is available 24/7 and is confidential! We are here to help, but are also here to listen!

        Best of luck!

    • #69
      Hello I am 15 and am wanting to runaway. Ive been planning to runaway for about 2 years now. I have been depressed and found marijuana to help me. It is not true that after smoking marijuana, it would make me evem more depressed. It is indeed a stupid idea to do so. But it happened and im still fine. I have been dating ,y boyfriend for almost two years now. He lives in Alabama while i live in kansas. It has always been that way. We have seen ewchother in person. I do not want to runaway just to be with him. My parents are divorced and i live with a mom who does/has done many bad things in her life(recently). She is a very bad mother who will never hear me out. I know!!!that getting away from this household wpuld most definetly be better for me. I would like to live my boyfriend because his mom would be fine with it although my mom would not allow it, ever.
      I’m 15 and I’ve been planning for a while on running away for a while. (Idk how long). I think I’m going to go through with my plan even though I don’t

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you're in a very stressful situation right now. It's understandable that you would use something like marijuana to cope, but it's important to make sure you are putting your well-being first. It can be hard to figure out healthy coping mechanisms but we are always here to help you figure some out over the phone. It sounds like you're having some problems with your mom and that can be super frustrating. It can be especially stressful when a parent isn't willing to hear you out. We actually offer conference calling so if you ever wanted to try to talk it out with her we are here. These kinds of conversations with parents can often be more productive when a third party is there and we would make sure to advocate for you.

        We aren't necessarily legal experts but as for the consequences of running away, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report with the police. You aren't doing anything illegal, but it is a status offense and you will be returned to your mother's care if you're found. Your boyfriend/his parents could also be charged with harboring a runaway. It's only a misdemeanor and we don't hear of it happening all that often but it is a possibility.

        There are other options for getting out of your'mother's house and we are always open to discussing them with you over the phone at 1800RUNAWAY. Thank you again for reaching out.

    • #70
      I’m 15 years old and hate my family but I want to runaway with somewhere to love can I get a court order to switch parents legally and compliant leave them in my past and take all my belongings without them having a say

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. You mentioned wanting to run away, because you are a minor if you were to leave home without your parent’s permission you could be considered as a runaway. We are not legal experts but running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. What that means is if you were found by the police you would most likely be brought back home. You also mentioned getting a court order to get different parents, you could consider emancipation. Emancipation is where you would petition to the courts to allow you to become an adult before 18. If you would like to talk more about the emancipation process please give us a call. We hope this situation was helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to discuss more please feel free to give us a call. We wish you the best of luck in your situation.
        Best of luck!
        NRS

    • #71
      Hi i'm 15 and have recently had a big argument with my parents about my life choices. They took my phone and read all of my messages and went through my phone. My mum said that she doesn't want me as a daughter and that nobody would. this really hurt me. My mum told me that i can leave home but if i do i am never allowed back. what do i do? i have a safe place to go at my boyfriends house, he lives near my job and school and his mum said that if i needed her to take me away she would but i just don't know if i could deal with never being allowed home again. It would impact my life so much because i want to get into good schools and go to college and university and have a good life but i feel like i would be throwing opportunities away. What do i do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your mom has said these severe and seriously hurtful things to you. While it is good that you can rely on your boyfriend for support and that he is there for you, your mother does have a legal obligation to take care of you and support you until you are legally an adult. Otherwise, that would be considered neglect, a form of abuse, and if you were interested you could report it to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. You guys can arrange to have you stay with someone else, but it would be a good idea to get such an agreement in writing so that it is clear and on the record that she consented to let you live elsewhere. It is wise of you to understand that there might be some consequences to never being allowed home again that you may not want to deal with. That is definitely a huge decision and your uncertainty is completely understandable. It is difficult for us to tell you what to do with such limited information, but if you would like to talk more about your situation and what options you might have, please reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

    • #72
      Hi im 15 ive been thinking of running away for months i can stay at my friends house and my parents alwasy see the negative in me, scream, gorund, and punish me all the time and idk the consequnces if i get caught or if my friends parents get in trouble for harboring me

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you so much for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and hear to listen. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad you gathered up the courage to reach out to us. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You could consider reaching out to a school counselor about how you are feeling, often times they may be able to provide you with resources. Also sometimes just talking to someone about how you are feeling can help you. We are not legal experts but because you are a minor you could be considered as a runaway. Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense. What that means is that if the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. We hope this information is helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to discuss your situation further feel free to give us a call we are here 24/7. Best of luck in your situation.
        NRS

    • #73
      Please help me, i gave a comment earlier about my situation with my mum and i need to leave now. should i stay or go? help me please this is my last resource

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        So thanks for reaching out to NRS again please know that we unfortunately do not tell you what to do. However your safety should always be a priority to have. If you feel unsafe at home please feel free to leave or call the cops to get help to get you out of the situation you find yourself in.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe and stay strong,
        NRS

    • #74
      so last night i tried to run away from home. my boyfriend and his mum came and picked me up but in the end my parents asked for me to be dropped home, now things in our household are worse than ever and this time i really cant escape. they have stolen my phone and wont let me on it and im so worried about me and my boyfriend as he is going away to college soon and now they wont let us hang out and i keep having panic attacks and throwing up and i just am so afriad, what can i do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that things with your parents have deteriorated to this point! It is frustrating that it seems like they do not understand how you are feeling or what your needs are. If you are struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, it might be a good idea to see if there’s any counseling or therapy options. A good place to start looking for those resources might be the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). They are reachable at 1-800-950-NAMI and nami.org. Without more information about what is going on, it is hard for us to help in a more impactful way. If you are looking to see how to navigate this, we would be happy to talk through the specifics of your situation and figure out what exactly your options are. If you are interested, please reach out on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #75
      I'm 15 and I'm thinking of running away.

      At school I'm lonely and the work is stressful. They're these two girls that are always looking at me, saying stuff behind my back, they even teased me when I go to my locker.
      When it's break i go to sit somewhere alone but everywhere is crowded, I'm afraid if i do something embearasing everyone will laugh at me and make fun of me.
      When I go to gym class i didn't want to participate in any sports cause I wasn't very good at them. My gym teacher always seemed mad about it.
      When its time to go home, the path i take would have dogs and i was afraid they're not friendly.
      At home my mom, dad, sibling, nieces are always mean and stressed out, every weekend they would drink beer and ditch us with my sister. I don't have any friends and i am always on my devices, which my parents didn't like. My mom talk behind my back even though i was 2 feet away, she would be mad at me over the littlest things.
      One of nieces would cry and yell for a thing, two of my nieces would cry very easily and it gets annoying.
      I know only one way of running away. Can you please help me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS
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