16 and Pregnant in Michigan.

Hello,
I am 16 years old, and I am 4 months pregnant. The father, who is 17, and his family are completely supportive, mentally and financially. My mom constantly tells me he's going to leave me, and constantly has horrible things to say about him. Recently, she said he's not allowed over anymore and I'm not to see him. She is also determined on moving us from Michigan to Tennessee very soon and says I have to go because I'm hers. My father lives in Texas, and he is out of the situation completely. My boyfriend's family would gladly take me in, but I don't want to get into legal trouble. I have a job, and do excellent in school, and I plan on remaining in school up until right before and right after it's born, as does my boyfriend.
If I leave to live with them, can the cops force me to go home? I live in Eaton County, if that's any help.

Thank you.

[ccsmod7]

Re: 16 and Pregnant in Michigan.

Thanks so much for writing in. It sounds like your dealing with an extremely difficult situation right now and you’re trying to find some more information that may help. You mentioned that you are four months pregnant and the biggest problem right now seems to be your mom. You said that she is now refusing to let you see your boyfriend and threatening to make you move to TN with her. It sounds like your boyfriend and his family are very involved in your life, but that your mom is making things difficult for you. How long has your mom been acting this way? Has your relationship always been somewhat strained, or did you notice things change recently? Have you tried to speak with her about how her actions are making you feel? It’s good that you have support in your boyfriend and his family. Have you been able to speak with anyone else about the situation?

You mentioned that you would like to stay with your boyfriend’s family but your mom most likely would not let that happen. Have both your mom and his family tried to sit down and come up with a compromise that would work? Do you think that would be an option? It’s difficult because in most states the age of majority, when you’re considered an adult, is 18. Technically your mom is still your legal guardian and if you left without permission she may be able to call police and make a runaway report, and police may be able to bring you back home. Now the situation is a bit more complicated because you are pregnant, and perhaps there are rights you have because of that fact. Have you thought about speaking with your local authorities or talking with a legal resource? We do not give out specific legal information here, but we can find resources in your area that may be able to answer some more of your questions. You mentioned that you live in Eaton County so we looked up some resources that may be able to help.

Department of Human Services (ask for office of Children and Family)
517-543-0860

Family Division of Circuit Court
517-543-7500

Sheriff’s Department
517-543-3512

If you feel comfortable giving these resources a call, they may have some more ideas and options regarding your situation. Also, don’t forget that you can always give us a call at
1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to answer your call. If you need to call and vent about the situation, talk about options, or look up other resources in your area, we are here for you. Hopefully some of that information has helped and of course call us anytime you need to. Best of luck and take care.

Re: 16 and Pregnant in Michigan.

Thank you for responding.

My mother and I have had difficulties my entire life. When I was 12, my father had me taken away from her due to bad parenting, but due to being pregnant, my father refuses to talk to me unless I get an abortion. My mom refuses to come to any compromises, and constantly starts arguments via email to my boyfriend's family. She's threatened getting a restraining order on them in order to keep me from them, though they've never done anything but support and help me. I need to leave, but like I said, I don't want to get into any legal trouble or be sent back. But then again, I can't handle living under this much stress and her constant threats of moving and everything else. She's always accusing me of lying- even when it comes to little, rediculous things that I'd have absolutely no reason to lie about. For example, she blames my boyfriend for using up all my gas because I have to drive to go an see him. However, his mother always gives me gas money. When I tell her this, she screams at me telling me I am a liar and only trying to make my boyfriend look good.
I do not understand what I am supposed to do, especially with school right around the corner and everything else that I'm having to deal with.

[ccsmod7]

Re: 16 and Pregnant in Michigan.

Thanks for writing back. You mentioned that things between you and your mom have not been good for some time, and that they have just gotten worse within the past few months. You said before that your ideal plan would be to stay with your boyfriend and his family. What do you think your mom would do if she found out you left? Do you think she would get the police involved? It’s completely understandable that you are thinking about leaving, but also nervous about the legal consequences. Do you think it would help to be able to talk with any legal resources and see what rights you have as far as the pregnancy and your baby goes? Perhaps it would be a good idea to find out what rights your boyfriend has as the father of the baby. It’s good that you are trying to look into what could happen and not just making a rushed decision.
If you do start to look into legal services you may have to hang tight at your house until something is decided. Do you think if you have to stay with your mom you would be able to do that for awhile, or would you just run? These aren’t always easy questions to answer, but sometimes it helps to think about the situation and possible consequences or solutions. Again, if you want to talk more in detail about this situation, don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can reach us 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Take care.

[Unregistered]

16 and pregnant(in harm)

I'm 16 and just found out I'm pregnant,my boyfriend is 18. I reallyy wanna move out my parents house and move in with my boyfriends parents cuz my parents will kill me and my boyfriend. His family will help us with anything with anything we need..I wanna leave the legal. Can u help me do this plz

[ccsmod8]

Re: 16 and Pregnant in Michigan

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us concerning news of your pregnancy. It seems you have the full support of your boyfriend's family. It sounds like a good thing to have their backing as you are about to deal with the issues that you may face with your own family. Do you think your mother may understand once they know you have the full backing of his family? We imagine this is not an easy situation for you. We are glad you contacted us. We are not legal or medical experts. However, we are here to provide options and resources. We cannot give advice. We cannot even imagine how stressful this situaton must be for you.

Is there someone your parents listens to that will really understand what you are going through and speak with your mother for you? If you were to stay with his family it runs the risk of them harboring you and it is considered illegal for anyone to take you in if it is not allowed by your mother. She serves as your guardian but it does depends on your city and county. It tends to vary for what the police might do if you are found. It is not illegal to run away but it may risk his family legal consequences if your mother were to act accordingly. What about emancipation since you seem to show that you have certain things lined up.

There are three circumstances in which a minor is automatically declared emancipated in MI. Upon turning the age of 18, when a minor is legally married and if a youth is actively serving in the Armed Forces of the United States. If youth does not meet any of those circumstances, the youth can file a petition with the court in the Juvenile Unit-Family Division of the Circuit Court in the county where the youth resides. We are not sure what your boyfriend's family is able to do but it seems your mother is against whatever plan he may have because of how she feels about him. What sort of compromise is possible? We hope this information is helpful to set you up with some other options. Good luck.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

16 pregnant and ready to leave

Hi...im2you kinda in thr same situation my boyfriend and his family is 110% on borad with me being pregnant and stuff..but my mom on the other hand isn't she tells people i have diabetes or that my baby is too big or she'll say thing like your gonna get a c section...to me it always seems like she is trying to make my life a living hell..everyday i wake up i kinda wish i was dead or something...i always hear horrible things from other people like " you should kill yourself because your pregnant " or people that i live with saying that they will kill me or baby before she gets here...and last night my mother said if your boyfriend comes back over im gonna have him sent to jail..she also tried to make me tell my obgyn doctor and the social worker that my boyfriend raped me when he didn't..I'm in Michigan as well but it seems as if nothing i do ever work or whatever i say is a lie...i just don't want to have ti live here anymore nor do i wanna bring my baby here to get the same treatment..

[ccsmod10]

RE: 16 pregnant and ready to leave

Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been facing a very stressful situation regarding how your mother is treating you and your pregnancy. It can be hurtful to hear those things from your mom and scary to hear others threatening you. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been. It sounds like you feel you need to escape and want to protect your baby from what you have been going through. We’re glad you reached out to us to figure out your options.
Our primary concern is that you are safe. If there are people threatening you and your baby, you do have the right to report it to your local police department. If you have any questions about the process or if you don’t feel comfortable making the report yourself, you can call us and we would be happy to help you through that process. We also want to make sure that you do not take any actions to harm yourself. If you are feeling suicidal, please call 911 or go to the hospital immediately. We can also provide you with mental health resources in your area and mental health-related hotlines to call if you are feeling emotionally distressed.

Regarding leaving your mom’s home, many locations deem 18 years old as the legal age to move out. If your mom were to file a runaway report and the police found you, the police would be required to return you home. There is also a chance that whoever you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway. It sounds like you have been thinking about this plan to leave for some time now. What would your overall plan be (i.e long term housing [who would you stay with and for how long], transportation, financial stability, access to food/clothes, going to school, how you would support your baby, etc.)? Having a solid plan might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t.

Another service we provide is facilitating a conference call between you and your mom. We would mediate the call, and it would allow you to clearly express your concerns and feelings to your mom. To use this service though, we would need the contact information of your mom, and we would be required to file an abuse report with the police if we heard abuse has been occurring.

Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us www.1800 runaway.org. We’re here to listen, here to help.

[Unregistered]

Help!!

I'm pregnant an I'm 15 I live in Georgia an I want to go live with my boyfriend but my mom won't let me can I just leave without any trouble?

[ccsmod7]

Re: Help!!

Hello there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are pregnant and your mom won’t let you go live with your boyfriend in Georgia. That sounds like a really difficult situation, and you seem like an incredibly strong person.

We are not legal experts but we can speak generally. Typically, you have to be 18 to move out of your house without your mom’s consent. If you are under 18 and you leave without permission, your mom can file a runaway report with the police. Your mom may give the police your boyfriend’s address if she knows it. If they find you, they usually would return you to your mom. However, if you are found at your boyfriend’s house, the legal adult there is at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. So while running away is not illegal but a status offense for you, it could have legal consequences for your boyfriend’s guardian or for your boyfriend if he is 18 or older.

We strongly suggest that you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us if you would like to talk about your situation and brainstorm your options.

We wish you the best,

NRS

[Guest]

I got my 14 year old girlfriend pregnant... I am 15. what exactly is going to happen to me... i am very scared. I feel like i will never be able to see my child

[ccsmod10]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it is a courageous step to take that is not always easy. It is completely understandable to be afraid in your situation. We are always here to listen and help as best as possible. Taking this step-by-step can help to make this stressful time a little less overwhelming. Identifying people in your life that you can trust to support you and your girlfriend during this time may be a good start to seeking help and exploring your options.

You and your girlfriend think she is pregnant, or are currently unsure, confirming pregnancy is a good first step. This can look like purchasing a pregnancy test after she has missed a menstrual period. Planned Parenthood also offers pregnancy testing.

We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents/guardians. If you or your girlfriend need help telling your parents about the pregnancy, we can help you make that call. Talking to a teacher or school counselor that you trust, could also provide more support for the two of you.

If she is pregnant, Planned Parenthood is a great organization to find out options and rights that you have as parents. They also can help find your girlfriend a doctor and find useful resources that specialize in women’s health/pregnancy is to contact Planned Parenthood at 1800-230-7526 or go to their website at https://www.plannedparenthood.org/.

If you would like additional support or resources please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours, 7 days a week or chat with us online by going to www.1800RUNAWAY.org.

[Guest]

I’m 16 years old I have a one year old son & im 4 months pregnant my dad verbally abuses me ...& I can’t take it anymore If I leave would I get In trouble ? I’m able to take care of my son and myself and I have some help .

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your dad files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your dad to express your feelings, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 and 4 months pregnant and my boyfriend is 14 to we live in Michigan. He is afraid that he could get in trouble with the law and his family if he tells his parents and we dont know what to do, my mother hates him and i cant tell her and he thinks if he tells his mom and dad that they wouldn't support us. But my mom has a very crazy side and she can be abusive sometimes so we would rather tell his mother and not mine. And I would always ask to go to his house when my mom goes crazy. I feel more comfortable when I am over there and I want to go and live with my boyfriend over the summer but I can´t. I have to go three months with out seeing my boyfriend because the summer is about to start and my mom wont let me see him. I am scared and have no clue on what to do or who to tell. please help!!

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I am 14 and 4 months pregnant


Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and sharing your experience with us.
It is a courageous step to take that is not always easy. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Becoming pregnant and feeling unprepared or unsure of what to do next can be a scary thing to face. We are always here to listen and help as best as possible. Taking this step by step can help to make this stressful time a little less overwhelming. Identifying people in your life that you can trust to support you during this time may be a good start to seeking help and exploring your options. It sounds like you may have difficulty gaining support from both your parents. NRS is here to listen and here to help. We want you to know we are here to help during this most difficult time. We are happy to assist you with exploring options and bases of support.

Being pregnant, proper health care can is important for you and the baby. If you have not already you might consider seeing a doctor about prenatal care. One way to reach a doctor and find useful resources that specialize in women’s health/pregnancy is to contact Planned Parenthood at 1800-230-7526 or go to their website at https://www.plannedparenthood.org/.


You did a very brave thing by reaching out today. Good for you.
If you’d like additional support or resources please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours, 7 days a week or chat with us online by going to www.1800RUNAWAY.org.

Take care,
NRS