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14- I want to run away because of my mom's manipulative emotional abuse.

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  • 14- I want to run away because of my mom's manipulative emotional abuse.

    Recently, I have realized that my parents are emotionally abusive; my mom much more so than my dad. I keep remembering about the sad fact that never in a single day of my life have I not heard an insult from her, calling me ugly, fat, stupid, and a brat. I've tried to talk to her about being sad, but she simply dismisses it saying that I am a child and have nothing to worry about. If I every try to say that she's wrong about anything, she screams and hits me. However, the scariest situation that has happened recently is that I tried to contact my friends through text to talk about how my mother is abusive, and I should have been wiser because she reads all of my texts. When she saw that I told my friend about the abuse, she screamed at me and threatened to kill herself. In addition, every day she tell me that she wishes for death and that no one ever cared about her. She tries to manipulate me into thinking that my life is perfect by saying that I she cooks food for me every day and drives me to school, which not everyone has. Even though I notice it, I can't do anything about it. She also periodically threatens to smash my head with the computer mouse, whenever she is having a bad day at the grocery store. If I every get anything lower than a 95% in school, she tell me that I will never be anything when I grow up, except for a homeless beggar and screams at me. This is emotional abuse, right?

    I don't think anyone can reason with her because she just has such a distorted view of life, possibly from her similarly neglect-filled childhood. Therefore, I am thinking of leaving home, but I don't have anywhere to stay, or food to eat, or money, or life skills. Since my mother never actually taught me how to do anything, I don't know how I would take care of myself on the streets and would probably resort to shoplifting every day. Also, what would happen if I met her outside? Would she notice if I called a helpline (she would yell at me for asking for help)? Thank you.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that your parents are emotionally and physically abusive. Abuse is never okay, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with the way your mother has been treating you and you are thinking of leaving home. The way your mother has been treating you is not your fault, and you do have the option of reporting the abuse. If you are in any immediate danger, you could contact 911. You could talk to someone that you trust such as a school teacher or counselor. They are mandated reporters so they would have to contact Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS would do an investigation and if they find that you are living in an unsafe environment, they will remove you from the home. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is the National Child Abuse hotline, they have experts that you could report the abuse to and they can also provide you with information on transferring custody to another family member or someone else that is close to you. You mentioned that if you were to leave home that you don’t know how you would take care of yourself. If you decided to runaway, your parents could file a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home unless you express to them that you don’t feel safe at home. You may want to consider asking other family members or friends if they would allow you to stay with them. However, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if you decide to stay with them without your parents consent. Shoplifting everyday may not be the best option for you because you would run the risk of getting caught by the police. Maybe you could use a friend’s phone to call the helpline when your mother isn’t around. Please be safe and if you would like to call us directly for more information or resources our crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) is 24 hours. We are always here to listen and help in the best way that we can.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      im 12 and my mom says i am stupid wothless and hits me occationally but leaves no marks i hate her so much everytime i try to say something even if i am not talking to her and ask a question she tells me to shut up i am just lyng but i am not lying i hate it so much i feel icnored and lonely and i cant talk to anyone because they ask my mom then i get in trouble and they dont believe me . no one ever believes a chil what do i do


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. We want you to know that no one deserves to be hit and spoken to that way, and you should not have to go through that. That sounds so frustrating that many people have not believed you when you tell them what’s going on. If you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help.
        If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the things you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online. It sounds like you’ve been having trouble proving what’s been going on. You could consider trying to audio or video record things that happen at home to use as proof if you decide to file a report. You could also consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support.
        There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict at home, find a safe place if you’re in need, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us or chat with us online.
        Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

    • #4
      hi,so about my situation and its somewhere along the lines of manipulation and maybe emotional abuse. my sister has been telling me that i need ti open my eyes and realize whats going on, and i finally did. she always says something along the lines of: "you want me to DIE! You want me to just kill myself! Because im just a HORRIBLE mother. Im sorry i had to be your mother." and always justify the name calling as: "i didnt say you were a lazy brat (example), i just said you were LIKE a lazy brat." im also failing school because of the overload of stress, and that seems to be fueling some more anger. she yells at us and grits her teeth sometimes and acts like a toddler by grabbing her hair and flinging her hand almost hitting my sister. she also throws everything around barely passing us almost as if she trying to hit us. and then she always guilt trips us by crying and saying that shes trying her best and that shes a horrible mother. its really bad and ive been trying to get it to record so i can have proof, but i always freeze when she yells so i cant really grab my phone to start recording. she would also get mad at the sight of me grabbing my phone. however when she starts trying to break into our room, i can manage to grab my phone ti start recording, but since im stronger than my sister, im always the one holding the door closed before she manages to break in. she has taken our doorknob away before, but her boyfriend started asking questions so she put it back.
      our parents are divorced btw, he lives in germany with his wife (shes really nice) and a baby. ive been there before and i was really happy because no one yelled at me for anything and theyre really supportive. my dad knows about the whole mom being crazy and unstable thing, but he doesnt know what to do. if i leave my mom, shes going to crazy and cry everyday and stuff. i also know that she will tell everyone from my moms side about us and tell them how horrible we are. so i dont know what to do. im really thinking about running away tonight because tomorrow were going to my school for a meeting because of my grades, and i can tell im going to be yelled at the whole car ride and im not going to last any longer. sorry if this was long. im 12 btw and my sis is 14


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to listen and here to support you in the best way that we can. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now and we want you to know that you are not alone.
        It sounds like you and your sister may be going through emotional abuse, which you both do not deserve. You do have a right to make a report and there are a few ways you can go about doing that. One option would be to talk to a school counselor about what has been going on at home. They may be able to provide you with options and resources. We know many schools are virtual right now but you could still email a teacher or school counselor. Another option may be to contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453 and they would be able to take a report on your behalf. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we can help with making a report.
        It sounds like your mother may be going through some mental health issues. To learn more you can contact NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be contacted at 1800-950-NAMI.
        We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and support you.
        Stay strong!

    • #5
      Hi, im 13 and live in London with a very messed up family situaltion, my dad has no contact to me as he was very abusive and I now live with my mum. I also have two siblings who still see my dad. I want to run away beacuse of the constant abuse I have to face. My mum always screams at me and if I ask her to stop she gets way worth and calls me useless, a horrible child and more. She also has started using excessive violence that she calls 'discipline' against me. She has got me to the point where I have tried to commit suicide and have started self harming and also doesnt respect my privacy as she goes through my phone on a daily. My older brother is also a horrible person who is very homophobic and makes many comments against me on a daily due to the fact that im gay. I am just concerned that if I do run away, my siblings will get taken away and given to my dad who is way worse than my mum. I have a few friends but she has my phone so I have no contact with anyone.


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        First of all, thank you so much for reaching out to NRS today. We know it can be scary and difficult to reach out – it takes a lot of courage. You do not deserve to be in a situation where you are treated in that way.
        You mention that you have tried to commit suicide and are self harming. Our first priority here at NRS is that you are safe. One resource that we recommend reaching out to if you are ever feeling like a danger to yourself or just want to talk to someone about how you’re feeling is National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even though you do not have a phone, they have a life chat service at
        In terms of the abuse you are experiencing, we are so sorry to hear you are going through that. Although we are not experts in reporting laws outside the United States, if you are interested in reporting the abuse that is going on at home, one website you can look into is which details abuse reports in the UK.
        To get help from a resource that focuses on work internationally, you can look into There is a tab on the top right showing child help hotlines for different countries in the world and looking for one from the UK may help because of their expertise in laws in that area.
        Lastly, if you want to talk more in depth about your situation or are just looking for some support, you are more than welcome to reach out to us through live chat at We are available 24/7.
        We are so sorry you are going through this and it was really brave of you to reach out.
        Best of luck and stay strong,
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