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Can I move in with my ex-stepdad against my bio. dads will?

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  • Can I move in with my ex-stepdad against my bio. dads will?

    Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl (16 next week) and I need to know some legal stuff, I didn't know where else to ask. I live with my grandparents currently but I hate it here, we fight all the time. In fact, I can hear them upstairs fighting with each other right now. They're super over-protective so I never get to do anything. And because they're so old we never leave the house. Literally my week consists of going to school, coming home, sleeping and repeat. It's been like this for 3 years and I can't do it anymore. I want to go live with my ex-stepdad (My mom divorced him 3 years ago and that's why I moved in with my grandparents). My half siblings live there and I miss them a lot. Also, my mom is in jail but still has custody of me. Well last weekend I went to ask my biological father, who I see once a month, if I could live with my ex-stepdad and siblings. I said I'd still visit him but it made no difference, he refused to talk it out he got very mad at me for asking that. He's jealous that I view my ex-stepdad better than I do him, because my ex-stepdad had been around since I was 2 and my biological dad only showed up when I was 8. So he said no and that he was going to go and tell the court my mom is unfit for custody so he can get full custody of me and make me live with him because I was making "unsafe decisions" by wanting to live with a man who's not reated to me by blood. It's safe to say I really hate him right now. He's always been a bad father. He left when I was born, drinks constantly, rents out the house to random people I have to stay with when I visit, and he brings me along to random parties or bars that he goes in. It would be a nightmare to live with him. I was wondering if I can just go to my ex-stepdad's and stay there and what would happen if I did? Like would police come arrest me or him and force me to live with my biological dad? I was also wondering about emancipation, most websites say I have to have a place to live by myself before I can be emancipated but he's not going to let me move out so?... catch-22 I guess. I really need help here because my third option is running away. I don't want to do that because I have good grades and want to get into a good college but running away would ruin all that. My grades are starting to slip also from all the stress, everyones blaming it on me. They ask why I just can't be happy where I'm at and I tried really hard these last 3 years but every day the only thing I look forward to is sleep. The only long term goal I have is turning 18 and that's too far away for me to get excited about. It just makes me so mad because I get yelled at and punished for wanting to live with someone who values me more than an object and for wanting to live with my siblings?? I hate how I have no control over MY life and how the law makes it impossible to have my own rights and how defax wouldn't help because theres no 'real abuse' going on. Sorry for the rant. I'm open to any suggestions. Also if I did run away and go to like a homeless youth center, would I still attend school or how does that work? I'm feeling quite hopeless right now. Thanks for your time.

  • #2
    Hey there, thanks for reaching out to us.

    It sounds like you’re going through some very frustrating and difficult times. It must be hard to feel like you don’t have autonomy over your own life especially if you feel like you’d be better off with your ex step dad. It’s completely unfair that your biological dad is threatening you and passing judgment about your decision making without having legitimate reasons. Have you spoken to your ex step dad about your current situation? It’s not your fault for being in a stressful environment and it sounds like you’re doing your best under the circumstances. To answer a couple of your questions – emancipation doesn’t seem like the best choice for you since you’re not trying to live alone and you have to be able to prove financial independence to be emancipated. Running away isn’t a crime, it’s a status offense, what this means is if you ran away and your parents (or grandparents or whoever your legal guardian is) filed a report with the police and the police found you, they would most likely bring you back to your house. However, if they found you staying with someone – they might get charged with harboring a minor, which could result in some jail time or a fine. We would love to speak with you further over the phone so we can discuss your situation in more depth to better address your needs. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we’re free, confidential, and available 24/7. We could also look up some local legal aid resources for you since we’re not legal experts here. We look forward to hearing from you soon!


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