Leaving home without telling parents at 18

[Guest]

Once I graduate highschool I want to move out of my house, I'll be 18, but I don't want my parents finding out where I am. I'm financially stable, I'll have roommates, a job, and I'll be paying for my own car/bills. If I leave my parents a note telling them I'm safe but not where I am can they get the police involved?
This is in Texas if that helps

[ccsmod10]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you're trying to plan for you future, we are here to help in any way we can!

Here at NRS, we are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. The age of majority is 18 in Texas, which means at 18 you are legally an adult in Texas. So once you turn 18, you can move out freely without having to have permission from either parent, they would have no legal standings for getting the police involved. If you want to make sure that you will be able to move out without having the police involved, we do offer to call out to youth’s local police with them. If you’re interested in that conference call service, don’t hesitate to reach out.

That is great that you are financially stable and have a place to go. Sounds like you have been thinking about moving out for some time now. Living on your own for the first time is an exciting time with lots of new responsibility, having roommates will definetly help with rent and money. If you think that leaving a note for your parents isn’t the most productive way to communicate with them, we also offer conference calling between youth and parents. We can help facilitate that conversation with you, if you think it would help.

We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call.

Good luck

[Guest]

I'm 18. I know I have the right to leave home. I have tried telling my mom I want to leave home but she keeps on saying no you can't all that stuff but I know I'm an adult and I have the right. I'm worried she will call the police, I have tried to leave home before and she filed a missing person report and the police had a discussion and were under record when I came back. I'm nervous for this time. She also knows where I may go so she may show up at the house so I'm worried pls help I'm in the state in California

[ccsmod3]

Thanks so much for reaching out to us at NRS. It sounds like you’re in a scary and frustrating situation, and you’re looking to research all your options.
First of all, you are correct that in California, the age of majority is 18, so you are a legal adult and have the right to move freely without permission from a parent. Your mom has no legal standing to get the police involved.
One option you could think about is calling the non-emergency number for your local police department and letting them know you’re concerned she may make a false missing person report. We’re not legal experts, but if you’re worried she may stalk or harass you, you can also ask the police about obtaining a temporary restraining order.
We are here for you 24/7 if you want to talk through some options or would like help finding resources in your area at 1-800-786-2929.
Stay Strong, NRS

[Guest]

So, I’m 18 and pregnant and still living with my dad but although he’s learned to accept the pregnancy he doesn’t believe and downright has said that if I move out with my boyfriend then we’d fail completely with school, work, and our apartment and I guess with our kid too. I get his benefits for college since he’s a veteran but he’s threatened to cut them off if I move. I don’t want to rely on him financially and me and my boyfriend have been planning and saving money and are constantly trying to make moves before the baby gets here but my dad is just discouraging us. At this point I’m on the verge of just leaving the house without saying anything because we should be moving in by the end of the month anyway. I try to communicate as best as I can to tell him my plans and what I’m going to do for this baby and my life but he thinks I’m just a clueless teenager with low self esteem because I want to move in with my boyfriend of 3 years. What should I do?

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We know you are going through a difficult time and want to help in any way we can. Our hope is to provide you with tips and resources to help you take the best choice you think is best for you.
Unfortunately we cannot tell you what to do but from reading your story we are sorry to hear that your Father has been cruel to you in that manner. Some options to consider are maybe to look into grant money or scholarships that might help you cover for school. Being a new mother often helps because there can be more resources. Perhaps even going to the school’s counselor/ financial aid office and explaining the situation can help get you more informed on the resources available to you. As far as moving out, since you are 18 you are above the age of minority and therefore you have the right to choose for yourself. However what we can say is that you have clearly thought this through and do not seem like a person who makes choices without considering all the options.
Again thank you for contacting us. We appreciate it and commend you on seeking help since it can often be scary to. If for any reasons you have questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org).
Best Wishes-NRS

[Guest]

I'm 18 almost 19, I've been looking to move out for awhile now. My relationship with my parents isnt the best they want certain religious things from me while im working full time and a part time job plus going to college. I've been dating my boyfriend from Canada for almost three years now. He's coming to see me again here pretty soon and I'm thinking about just leaving with him and living with him up there. I still want to continue with school and find a job up there also. I dont know what to do honestly... What should I do?

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very strong to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

Unfortunately, we are not legal experts and are unable to speak with authority regarding what Canadian laws apply. The Kids Help Phone charitable organization, accessible by phone at 1-800-668-6868 and online at kidshelpphone.ca may be able to speak more to Canada’s legal framework.

If you are considered an adult in your state, beyond taking care to have your legal documents with you (passport and copies in case of an emergency, for example), some other things to consider would be school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. It sounds like you’ve considered how to continue your education, some options could be online programs. The National Center for Homeless Educational Helpline (1-800-308-2145) may have more information about continuing your education.

If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

[Guest]

I’m 18. I live in California. I am currently a senior in high school. My relationship with my parents hasn’t been the healthiest and the easiest for the past three years. I’m over my life here and feel like I need a fresh start. I always talk to my parents about moving out after high school and they get mad at me and tell me that if I move out that they won’t accept me back into their home ever again. My boyfriend is leaving to Seattle, Washington after graduation and says to go with him. I want a fresh start and want to leave with him. The problem is I’m not financially stable and don’t know exactly what to do.

[ccsmod4]

Reply:I’m 18. I live in California.

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It can be most frustrating when communication breaks down as it has seem to between you and your parent’s. It sounds like you have some ideas for your future. Good for you.

It would be our pleasure to hear more about your situation and plans of moving forward
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hiya, I’m 17 at the moment however when I turn 18 I want to move out I like in the uk and would still want to finish my education at the same school but I want to cut contact with my parents I’m not really sure if this is possible to do without the school getting involved however I think it may be okay as I work two jobs and am in a financially stable situation and would be living with two other room mates ?

[ccsmod3]

Hello –

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes great courage to reach out. We are sorry to hear about your situation at home becoming too difficult to deal with.

Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, especially within the UK. In America, there is a law called the McKinney Vento Act that gives youths the right to go to the school of your choice regardless of your living situation. If you are 18 you will not have to worry about that though as you will be considered an adult at that time.

We also offer a conference call service that aims to create an open dialogue between youths and their parents. This service allows you to set the guidelines and goals of the conversation and we are just there to help moderate. This is another option available to you if you are interested in trying to improve your life at home before leaving.

We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct. We can also be reached via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

Best Wishes
~NRS

[Guest]

Hello. I'm almost 18, and I'm from Wisconsin. I want to move out on my 18th birthday without my parents knowing. I'm planning on changing both my first and last name so my parents cannot find me. I have help moving, but I don't know if my parents will file for theft. What am I safe to take? Bed/bed frame? Clothes? Baby memorabilia? Electronics? Toys? Bedding? Bikes? Desk? Toiletries/cosmetics?
And what do I do about prescription drugs? I need them to live.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hello. I'm almost 18, and I'm from Wisconsin.


Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are not legal experts so you might consider contacting your local police department's non -emergency number or legal aid office to inquire about property and what constitutes theft? You can usaully find the non-emergency number online.You also might consider talking with your health provider about your medication and health care coverage. Since you are becoming independent this may affect coverage you may or may not have had with your parents insurance.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hi, so I'm 18- soon to be 19 and in New York. I've graduated and I work two jobs. My parents and I have been fighting more and more ever since I told them I have a long distance boyfriend. My boyfriend is offering a home with his family (who loves me already) and I want to move in with him, but how do I do that when I have strict parents who keep putting me down and discouraging any of my ideas that refer to me having independance? I've become very depressed and very suicidal due to it- I want to get better, but it's hard with the constant fighting and being put down for everything. My boyfriend is coming in July and is offering me to leave with him, but I'm scared what my parents will think/ do. At the same time, I'm eager to leave. What exactly should I do? I'm, honestly, scared and anxious. Should I not tell them until last minute? Or just keep it to myself and leave without a notice? If I tell them now, they will not want him to come down or me to be with him.

[ccsmod9]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

I’m 18. I live in Phoenix, Arizona. I am thinking to moving out to Tucson, Arizona to live with my girlfriend and her family.. Should I tell my parents before am leaving or leaving without them knowing? If I did, do they have right to report on police or something? But I have right to leaving since I am adult? What should I do?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. The age of majority is 18 in Arizona, which means you are legally an adult in the state of Arizona. If you were to leave home it would be legal and you would not get in any trouble with the law as far as we understand. So yes you would have the right to leave. Telling your parents is 100 percent your decision you could consider their reactions if you left without telling them or how they would react if you did tell them. We know that sometimes having these conversations can be difficult. At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your parents and help provide support and mediate the conversation.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more please give us a call , we are here 24/7. We wish you all the luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Thank you for reply back! I am thinking to moving out by soon as possible . I have gone through so hard time with my family and we don’t really get along. I really want to leaving. I don’t know how it works.

[ccsmod6]

We are happy that you found our reply helpful. While we don’t know the specifics of your situation, some things you might want to consider are: how you are going to get to where you’re moving, how you are going to sustain yourself financially, and what items you will be bringing with you. Unfortunately, we limit our electronic correspondences to two responses, but if you would like to talk more specifically about your situation and what your options are, please reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m moving out in October when I turn 18 but I don’t want my mom to see me leave she doesn’t go to work . What’s the best way to leave without her noticing , I need to take clothes too

[ccsmod6]

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re seriously considering leaving home and it’s totally understandable that you might not want your Mom to know. There are a lot of things you might consider as you leave—these include where you might stay, what your relationship with your family will look like, how you will support yourself, and what a back-up plan might be if things don’t go according to your plan. When it comes to leaving the home, you may decide to leave from a different place, like from school or a friend’s house. Bringing a suitcase with your clothes to school or a friend’s place may seem weird but if you were able to keep this stored in a vehicle leaving or otherwise outside of your Mom’s sight before you leave, leaving shouldn’t be too difficult or dramatic. It may not be reasonable (all situations are different), but letting your Mom know you might be gone for a while could help her understand your perspective and reduce the painful feelings she may have when you leave. These are some general options and we’d be more than happy to speak with you about exactly what’s going on if you’d like. We’re available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY and also 1800runaway.org.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, right now I’m 14, almost 15 and am planning to move out of my parents house once I turn 18 due to religious expectations I don’t want to live up to. I live in Utah and I’ll have financial stability when I move out, and am planning to just leave a note saying I’m safe. I have over 3 years to plan this, I just don’t know if I’m overlooking anything, I don’t want any confrontation with my parents about this.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. Hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations as you that can benefit from you reaching out to us today.

It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s understandable that you don’t really want to have a confrontation with your parents when you are ready to move out at 18 year old. You are right about it being a long time to plan and get everything ready, but it is equally a long time for your option to change about things. With life there isn’t anything guarantee with what will happen, so you might go through with your plan (and backup plan) or your home situation might change for the better.

Now here at NRS we aren’t a hotline that will provide a guideline or survival packet to youth that are going to run away or have already run away from home. We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. So we can’t be sure that you are “overlooking anything” unfortunately.

It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. Call out or chat with us if you need to talk some more!