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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you shouldn't be made to feel like your mother favors your brother over you. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

    It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey im 17, and when I'm 18 I want to leave home, I have my boyfriend of 2 years to move in with and we're going to save up and get a place of our own. I don't want to tell my parents that I'm going, is it best to leave a note on the table saying I'm going to be safe and theres no need to worry I just need my own life. My mother is mentally abusive to me and favours my brothers over me. I need to leave.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    We are sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time at home right now. It makes sense that you might have some fear moving out, especially if your parents are unsupportive. Since you posted in a thread about moving out at 18, we will assume that you are that age. In Florida the age of majority is 18, so there would be no legal reason preventing you from moving out without permission.

    It sounds like your parents are withholding vital documents from you. We aren't legal experts so we can't say whether or not what they are doing is illegal. However, there are ways of obtaining these documents (or duplicates of them) on your own. You can contact your school and the hospital you were born in to see about getting replacements for your diploma and birth certificate. The Social Security Administration has a website with a page about obtaining a replacement social security card. Here is a link to that: https://www.ssa.gov/myaccount/replacement-card.html. You could also consider calling your local police non-emergency line and asking them for their input on acquiring anything else from your parents that might belong to you. We have even heard of youth getting a police escort to collect their belongings from their parent's home. So, that's another option.

    You don't have to face this process alone. We are here for you at 1-800-RUNAWAY and by chat via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We have a large database of resources: things like shelters, legal aid, counseling, and the like. Even if you just need to talk things through, we are here for you. Whatever you do, please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon.

    All the best,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-05-2020, 02:49 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, Im moving out Wednesday. Quite frankly I'm scared. My parents have kicked me out multiple times but anytime that I tried to leave they would stop me. I know with this time, it is dangerous to fly but honestly living with my boyfriend is safer than living with them. They also don't want to give me my social card, birth certificate, or diploma. Any advice? I'm from florida.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since you are 18 yrs. old and considered a legal adult it means you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a big decision.

    Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as an emergency shelter where young adults can stay temporarily and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

    One place you might consider looking into is Covenant House New York (212) 613-0300
    covenanthouseny.org/

    We hope this information is helpful to you.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m turning 18 in NY state and was wondering if my parents can get law involved if I simply leave a note stating I am moving out?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on at home. It shows a lot of strength reaching out to us and we are here to listen. We are going to talk about a few things and we are always here 24/7 to talk more about any options we bring up and brainstorm more if those don’t seem to fit your situation best. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

    While we aren’t legal experts, 18 is generally the age of adulthood in most states. If you do decide to leave home before turning that age, your parent/guardian may file something called a runaway report. As you mentioned you are in Mississippi, we are unsure what their age of adulthood is with more certainty as it has been noted that the age of adulthood could be 21 years old in MS. Generally, running away isn’t illegal per say, it is something called a status offense. Similar to curfew, you would not be arrested or charged (unless other circumstances exist like being on probation, running away habitually, etc.). In most cases the police will take a report to help try to find the youth and bring them back to their parents/guardians. Some police stations may not take runaway reports, or they may take a report and not make a youth go home, if you are close to the age of adulthood. This is not a guarantee and there is always a risk that the police may try to bring you home, but it could vary state to state, and even police station to police station.

    It sounds like you are trying your best to better your life by planning out everything for when you decide to leave. It sounds like you are mature and trying to start your life and reaching out is a really good step. If you want to brainstorm more about the situation we are always here 24/7 over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online chat system at 1800runaway.org. We can also safety plan with whatever you do decide to do. It seems like youre in a difficult situation and appreciate your openness. Don’t hesitate to reach back out to us! We wish you the best of luck.

    Best, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I turn 18 in April (I live in Mississippi), and I’m wondering if I will be okay to move out of my parents place without the police getting involved OR they forcing me to come home. I don’t like staying with them anymore and I would really like to take the next step to becoming an adult. I have everything planned out to where I will stay, how I will pay for my bills/car/school, and how I will be okay as I start my life on my own. Can someone please explain to me if I will be forced to come home or the police getting involved here? Thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
    It sounds like you are going through a tough time. It sounds like your sister has said hurtful things to you and you do not deserve that. We are not legal experts but if you were to leave home before 18 your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you home. In most states the legal age to leave home is 18 when you would be considered an adult.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My sister JSUT told me that now one likes having me around and I’ll be 18 in two years and my mom still wants me to live by her rules. SHE CANT CONTROL ME ALL HER STUPID LIFE

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 18 almost 19, live in the Boston area. My relationship with my parents has not been healthy for the past 3-4 years because of their religious conservative points of views. I feel oppressed in my own home. The problem is that they have always provided for me and I have always had all my necessities provided by them. Since I started working, all my wardrobe is mine and school related items. I have been wanting to move out for a while but have known that I financially cannot. But now my boyfriend, who is 21 and has a very good income, said he would take me in but we are neighbors which would make it strange. I want to move in with him as soon as possible and she is alright with it. I am scared of my parents reaction.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-30-2020, 03:00 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear things at home are difficult to a point where you feel like you need to leave. Living in an environment where you do not feel understood or accepted can be stressful and intense and it makes sense that you need some space away from that. If you are asking whether or not what you are doing is legal or allowed, yes, once you turn 18, you have the right to live wherever you please with or without your parents’ permission. They cannot make you return home. If you have any other questions or would like to speak more about your situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I will be 18 in March (legal adult in Texas) I am thinking of moving out to a friends house. Her parents said I will only need to help with groceries. I work as a server part time. My parents won’t have any idea where I would be. I will be texting them and letting them know I am safe. Things at home are hard and they don’t understand who I am nor accept that.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It's very impressive to plat basketball on such a high level and also to maintain your grades and you should be proud of yourself! Once you turn 18 you will be considered a legal adult and can leave home to stay with your girlfriend or with your dad if you wish. It sounds like your girlfriend is a great support to you, but your mom doesn't understand how much she means to you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS
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