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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out during difficult situations. It sounds like you are feeling as if you do not have space from your mother, but that you have an apartment with your significant other. We are sorry to hear that you are struggling with your relationship with your mother and we would like to provide you with support at this time. We welcome you to reach out to us to talk further about the situation, to help us gain a better understanding and have the ability to provide you with the appropriate resources to better assist you. Please feel welcome to reach out by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or CHAT us through our website at www.1800runaway.org.

    We wish you health, safety, and peace at this time and we look forward to the opportunity to talk further with you.

    Kind regards,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hey I’m 19 and I have an apartment with my significant other, we planned this for two years but my mom is very controlling and wants me to live with her for the rest of my life. She wants my money going to her and I can’t keep living like this, I have no life of my own. We have been arguing recently and it’s impossible to talk calmly with her. I’ve realized there’s no calm way to say I’m leaving and would rather do it without telling her, I’ve thought about leaving a note. The only thing I’m worried about is her calling the police and making false claims or allegations.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, we're really thankful you contacted us. It sounds like your life lately hasn't felt enjoyable, and that your relationships with your parents have felt forced and not supportive. You also said you've been feeling disconnected from people you were typically close to, and mentioned thoughts of killing yourself.

    We aren't doctors and don't have the authority to provide a legit diagnosis, but everything you've described are textbook symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder. We don't say this to scare you or provoke any worries about mental illness, but to let you know that what you're experiencing is treatable.

    The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) may be helpful in providing more information on what you're experiencing. Their website, if you'd like to call them or chat with them, is www.nami.org.

    Additionally, since you mentioned thoughts of killing yourself, we want you to have the contact information for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The folks who work there, like us here, value you and want to help in any and every way you can to stop feeling this way. Their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

    You mentioned that you want to disappear or swap your situation to a different one; running away at 15 can be difficult and often results in more problems than it solves. But if you decide you do need to do so, it is helpful to form a strong plan for the short term and long term. We can talk through details with you if you decide that is what you want to do.

    Additionally, it sounds like you could benefit from talking with someone who will listen to understand, and treat you with nonjudgmental good faith. We are here to provide that too.

    We encourage you to live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss things more. Both services are available 24/7, and are 100% confidential.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Im 15- not 18 and so i cannot legally leave without permission but i can't live here anymore. Im not being abused or anything extreme but my parents only do things for me because they have to or so it can be used as leverage in the near future and they always insult me and try to discourage me from doing anything creative. Im also becoming disconnected from people I was close too lately. I could kill myself but i don't want to leave everyone else in my life. I wish i could just disappear as if id never existed or swap my family situation to a different one.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out for guidance with what you're experiencing, it sounds like you've been in an environment that's been stifling and frustrating. It sounds like you've been wanting to move out for a while to improve your quality of life. Some states in the US do have different ages of majority, which is a term for the age you are legally allowed to live on your own, but that age is 18 in all but 3 states (Mississippi, Alabama, and Nebraska). Your parents don't have any legal claim over you at this time, meaning there are not any legal consequences to moving out, and in with your boyfriend. Something to consider is that they are also no longer required to provide housing/financial care for you (of course they can if they choose to, they are just not obligated by law). Living on your own for the first time can be intimidating, remember that you also have the option to find roommate(s), or to potentially stay somewhere short-term (a month-to-month or shorter lease). If you'd like to talk with someone more, either for help investigating your options, or just to talk about what's been going on, we're available 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY), chat or email (1800runaway.org)

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 19 years old (almost 20) and I’m planning on moving out I haven’t told my parents anything but since I’ve turned 18 my mom has threatened to kick me out numerous times I always feel like I’m walking in eggshells with her she’s passive aggressive towards me if I don’t sit in the living room with her and watch tv then she will get mad she likes to be very involved in my life but I’m at the point to where everyday is the same for me I have a job I work 5 days out of the week and I get told I’m lazy and my parents will belittle my job my boyfriend is signing a lease to a house in a couple of days I’ve been with him for two years and we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while and we’ve made the conclusion that not saying anything would be the best route because I know if I did bring it up they wouldn’t let me they only like saying I’m an adult as a way to insult/belittle me I know I need to move out because I want a better life.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting us. It is not easy to reach out to others for help and shows real maturity and initiative! We are happy to try to address concerns, but it can be difficult to provide more detailed and specific info for your situation through forums. If you would like to talk to us about more, please do not hesitate to reach out either through live chat at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and 100% anonymous and confidential.

    We are sorry to hear that you have to navigate such a toxic home environment. Everyone deserves to feel respected and supported at home and it makes sense that you want to leave a situation that does not offer that. While we are not legal experts, what happens after you run away depends on the state and your particular situation. In WV, you are considered a minor until you turn 18. That means that your mom can file a runaway report if you leave home. This is considered a "status offense", so it will not end up on your permanent record or result in juvenile detention (assuming no legal actions has previously been taken). How the police respond to the report really depends, and we have no way to know how serious they may take a report for a 17 year old. That said, if they do find you and you fear for your safety by being returned home, you are your #1 advocate to make the case not to be returned. Any evidence to support your claims will help.

    We realize this is not a lot of concrete information, but we are not able to weigh into legal matters, and you would need to contact a local legal office for more information. If you do choose/need to run, we are always here to help by providing shelter info and possibly other information.

    If you are ever in danger and fear for your physical safety, remember that your healthy and well-being is the number one priority and you should remove yourself from the situation and call 911.

    Take care and stay safe!
    National Runaway Safeline

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m about to turn 18 I want to get away from my toxic abusive mom and I live in West Virginia but the problem is that my mom would call the cops and hurt me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out, we are glad that you did. Because you are in the UK, the best way to get help is through your own Runaway Helpline https://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/ This link, which we copied from here in the US may think you are in the US, but google the agency to get connected where you are.
    Good Luck.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello,

    I am turning 18 next month, and wish to move out as soon as possible. I am currently in college in the UK, and am getting a job. The reason why I wish to move is simply because I feel way too suffocated by my family. Having to put up with them for 17 years! I do think it's about time I have my freedom. The thing is, I wish to move out in secret, as I'd rather avoid any confrontation and conflict. Would you have any advice on the easiest and fastest way to move out, as well as the most secret way?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,



    Thanks for reaching out; we are so glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through something really hard. We never want you to feel unloved or that you don’t have any options. We do our best work with people when we can have a conversation together, so we hope you will reach out via chat through this website or on our phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk this over. We are here to help 24/7. We truly hope to hear from you soon.

    Sincerely,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to run away because I hate myself and I feel like nobody loves me and I’d rather starve to death and I have to do with people hating me

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello I am 18 years old and I just moved out of my house. I got some of my clothes and belongings but I am wanting to get the rest. I am not sure if I am allowed to get hem. Also, I moved in with my boyfriend and grandma but I was told I could get arrested for not living with a legal guardian of my own, is that true? I am wondering what I can do for support because I am still in high school. My parents are not happy with any of the decisions I have made and I am just lost on what to do. I don't want to lose touch with them an my brother I am just so confused.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for contacting NRS. You deserve to be surrounded by love all the time. At NRS we are not legal counsel, however, since you are eighteen even if the police are called they cannot force you to come back to your home. However, you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions when regarding your parents and your future relations with them. It might be worth talking to your college to see what your schooling can look like should you chose to come back , and talking through a plan with people you trust in case things don’t go the way you expected with your boyfriend. Being 18 comes with a lot of freedom and in that case a lot of responsibility. This resource

    https://www.homelessyouth.org/en/us/...33b&scroll=888 might be helpful in answering some of your questions. Additionally, without specific advice it can be hard to provide adequate support so please give us a chat or a call. We are here to help you. Thank you again for reaching out. Our website is: https://www.1800runaway.org/ and our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we are 24/7 and here to support you.
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i am 18 and i have a long distance boyfriend, im forced to do college up here (ny) but i want to move in with my boyfriend and his family who loves me and treats me like their own, my paren5s are scared im going to end up pregnant but that is not gonna happen. im worried they are gonna call the police AND if i do just get up and leave, i have ring camera's all around my house. what do i do??

    Leave a comment:

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