Leaving home without telling parents at 18

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are planning on leaving home when you are 18 and without your parents knowing. So in MD, the age of majority is 18, meaning you are considered an adult and therefore can legally leave. We’re glad to hear you are financially stable and have a safe place to go as your safety is our main concern. It could be helpful to leave a note letting them know you are safe, just so they don’t file a missing person report or something. Even if police somehow did get involved, they should not force you to go back home as you are no longer a minor. If you would like to talk through this more, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi, i’ll be 18 in april next year..i plan on leaving my last day of school which is in may with out them seeing me leave. I am stable financially and do have a place to go. I’m just scared on the outcome. should I leave a note for my parents to let them know that I’m fine? Could they call the police? I just want to know what will happen. Also I will be coming back because of college, which they are not paying for. What do I have to worry about? Also i’m in MD.

[ccsmod9]

Hello! Thank you for contacting NRS. It’s a courageous first step to reach out and we applaud you for telling us your story. It sounds like it’s been really difficult to live at home and you’re looking to move out and start living independently from your parents. We at NRS are not legal experts but in most states, individuals over the age of 19 are considered adults and will not be considered runaways if they are to leave their home.

If you are looking for more resources regarding housing assistance, transitional living or just need someone to talk through options with, you can always call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.

Stay Safe,
NRS

My parents are toxic and I need to move out ASAP! (I’m 1
how can I move out my parents are extremely toxic I barely go anywhere since I was a kid I go from home to school for the past 13 years of my life. They monitor what I eat what I’m doing every second of the day and I pay for everything on my own in regards to food, necessities like toothpaste, feminine products, school etc. they do pay for my phone, house,and insurance and I use my moms car. How do I move out on my own without them knowing so I’m able to afford the things I don’t already pay for. I feel like I’m trapped here I take care of my 3 younger siblings while they complain I don’t do anything. I’m turning 19 in a week and my mom got mad at me for something and told me I have to break up with my boyfriend as a result. I can’t live like this I have no clue where to start someone please help.

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out to NRS! You never deserve to be threatened or spoken to disrespectfully, and you are brave for seeking support. Typically a parent's guardianship over their child ends at age 18, so you would be legally free to leave the home. If your mother obtained continued guardianship due to special circumstances, then she may have the right to file a runaway report which would cause the police to find you and bring you home. Given the information you shared in this message, we cannot say in definitive terms whether or not your mother would have legal standing to find you. If you want to chat further or talk about the process of leaving home, feel free to contact our live services - the NRS hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY and the chat on 1800runaway.org, so that you can speak/chat directly with a person and they can answer any questions you have as they come up! In the meantime, stay safe, NRS!

Hello! I’m a 19 year old with bipolar disorder and ADHD. My mother treats me like I’m helpless at one moment, saying I’m “not ready” to move out, but then threatens to kick me out every time we fight while also saying she wouldn’t care if I ended up dying. I’m getting to the point where I want to leave the situation as soon as possible and I’m wondering if despite the fact I’m an adult and can leave, that she would have legal standing to find me because of my illnesses. I’ve been planning this for a long time and have started moving stuff over in terms of finances without her knowledge, but it’s a slow process and she’s driving me nuts.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. Since you are 23 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Take care,
NRS

Hi im 23 and want to move out without my parents knowing and there will be a letter telling them what's going on. i'm moving in with a friend/girlfriend

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out during difficult situations. It sounds like you are feeling as if you do not have space from your mother, but that you have an apartment with your significant other. We are sorry to hear that you are struggling with your relationship with your mother and we would like to provide you with support at this time. We welcome you to reach out to us to talk further about the situation, to help us gain a better understanding and have the ability to provide you with the appropriate resources to better assist you. Please feel welcome to reach out by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or CHAT us through our website at www.1800runaway.org.

We wish you health, safety, and peace at this time and we look forward to the opportunity to talk further with you.

Kind regards,
NRS

Hey I’m 19 and I have an apartment with my significant other, we planned this for two years but my mom is very controlling and wants me to live with her for the rest of my life. She wants my money going to her and I can’t keep living like this, I have no life of my own. We have been arguing recently and it’s impossible to talk calmly with her. I’ve realized there’s no calm way to say I’m leaving and would rather do it without telling her, I’ve thought about leaving a note. The only thing I’m worried about is her calling the police and making false claims or allegations.

[ccsmod10]

Hi, we're really thankful you contacted us. It sounds like your life lately hasn't felt enjoyable, and that your relationships with your parents have felt forced and not supportive. You also said you've been feeling disconnected from people you were typically close to, and mentioned thoughts of killing yourself.

We aren't doctors and don't have the authority to provide a legit diagnosis, but everything you've described are textbook symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder. We don't say this to scare you or provoke any worries about mental illness, but to let you know that what you're experiencing is treatable.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) may be helpful in providing more information on what you're experiencing. Their website, if you'd like to call them or chat with them, is www.nami.org.

Additionally, since you mentioned thoughts of killing yourself, we want you to have the contact information for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The folks who work there, like us here, value you and want to help in any and every way you can to stop feeling this way. Their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

You mentioned that you want to disappear or swap your situation to a different one; running away at 15 can be difficult and often results in more problems than it solves. But if you decide you do need to do so, it is helpful to form a strong plan for the short term and long term. We can talk through details with you if you decide that is what you want to do.

Additionally, it sounds like you could benefit from talking with someone who will listen to understand, and treat you with nonjudgmental good faith. We are here to provide that too.

We encourage you to live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss things more. Both services are available 24/7, and are 100% confidential.

Im 15- not 18 and so i cannot legally leave without permission but i can't live here anymore. Im not being abused or anything extreme but my parents only do things for me because they have to or so it can be used as leverage in the near future and they always insult me and try to discourage me from doing anything creative. Im also becoming disconnected from people I was close too lately. I could kill myself but i don't want to leave everyone else in my life. I wish i could just disappear as if id never existed or swap my family situation to a different one.

[ccsmod10]

Thanks for reaching out for guidance with what you're experiencing, it sounds like you've been in an environment that's been stifling and frustrating. It sounds like you've been wanting to move out for a while to improve your quality of life. Some states in the US do have different ages of majority, which is a term for the age you are legally allowed to live on your own, but that age is 18 in all but 3 states (Mississippi, Alabama, and Nebraska). Your parents don't have any legal claim over you at this time, meaning there are not any legal consequences to moving out, and in with your boyfriend. Something to consider is that they are also no longer required to provide housing/financial care for you (of course they can if they choose to, they are just not obligated by law). Living on your own for the first time can be intimidating, remember that you also have the option to find roommate(s), or to potentially stay somewhere short-term (a month-to-month or shorter lease). If you'd like to talk with someone more, either for help investigating your options, or just to talk about what's been going on, we're available 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY), chat or email (1800runaway.org)

I’m 19 years old (almost 20) and I’m planning on moving out I haven’t told my parents anything but since I’ve turned 18 my mom has threatened to kick me out numerous times I always feel like I’m walking in eggshells with her she’s passive aggressive towards me if I don’t sit in the living room with her and watch tv then she will get mad she likes to be very involved in my life but I’m at the point to where everyday is the same for me I have a job I work 5 days out of the week and I get told I’m lazy and my parents will belittle my job my boyfriend is signing a lease to a house in a couple of days I’ve been with him for two years and we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while and we’ve made the conclusion that not saying anything would be the best route because I know if I did bring it up they wouldn’t let me they only like saying I’m an adult as a way to insult/belittle me I know I need to move out because I want a better life.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting us. It is not easy to reach out to others for help and shows real maturity and initiative! We are happy to try to address concerns, but it can be difficult to provide more detailed and specific info for your situation through forums. If you would like to talk to us about more, please do not hesitate to reach out either through live chat at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and 100% anonymous and confidential.

We are sorry to hear that you have to navigate such a toxic home environment. Everyone deserves to feel respected and supported at home and it makes sense that you want to leave a situation that does not offer that. While we are not legal experts, what happens after you run away depends on the state and your particular situation. In WV, you are considered a minor until you turn 18. That means that your mom can file a runaway report if you leave home. This is considered a "status offense", so it will not end up on your permanent record or result in juvenile detention (assuming no legal actions has previously been taken). How the police respond to the report really depends, and we have no way to know how serious they may take a report for a 17 year old. That said, if they do find you and you fear for your safety by being returned home, you are your #1 advocate to make the case not to be returned. Any evidence to support your claims will help.

We realize this is not a lot of concrete information, but we are not able to weigh into legal matters, and you would need to contact a local legal office for more information. If you do choose/need to run, we are always here to help by providing shelter info and possibly other information.

If you are ever in danger and fear for your physical safety, remember that your healthy and well-being is the number one priority and you should remove yourself from the situation and call 911.

Take care and stay safe!
National Runaway Safeline