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Hey I’m 19 and I have an apartment with my significant other, we planned this for two years but my mom is very controlling and wants me to live with her for the rest of my life. She wants my money going to her and I can’t keep living like this, I have no life of my own. We have been arguing recently and it’s impossible to talk calmly with her. I’ve realized there’s no calm way to say I’m leaving and would rather do it without telling her, I’ve thought about leaving a note. The only thing I’m worried about is her calling the police and making false claims or allegations.
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Hello,
We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out during difficult situations. It sounds like you are feeling as if you do not have space from your mother, but that you have an apartment with your significant other. We are sorry to hear that you are struggling with your relationship with your mother and we would like to provide you with support at this time. We welcome you to reach out to us to talk further about the situation, to help us gain a better understanding and have the ability to provide you with the appropriate resources to better assist you. Please feel welcome to reach out by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or CHAT us through our website at www.1800runaway.org.
We wish you health, safety, and peace at this time and we look forward to the opportunity to talk further with you.
Kind regards,
NRS
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Hi im 23 and want to move out without my parents knowing and there will be a letter telling them what's going on. i'm moving in with a friend/girlfriendComment
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. Since you are 23 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
Take care,
NRS
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Hello! I’m a 19 year old with bipolar disorder and ADHD. My mother treats me like I’m helpless at one moment, saying I’m “not ready” to move out, but then threatens to kick me out every time we fight while also saying she wouldn’t care if I ended up dying. I’m getting to the point where I want to leave the situation as soon as possible and I’m wondering if despite the fact I’m an adult and can leave, that she would have legal standing to find me because of my illnesses. I’ve been planning this for a long time and have started moving stuff over in terms of finances without her knowledge, but it’s a slow process and she’s driving me nuts.Comment
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Thanks for reaching out to NRS! You never deserve to be threatened or spoken to disrespectfully, and you are brave for seeking support. Typically a parent's guardianship over their child ends at age 18, so you would be legally free to leave the home. If your mother obtained continued guardianship due to special circumstances, then she may have the right to file a runaway report which would cause the police to find you and bring you home. Given the information you shared in this message, we cannot say in definitive terms whether or not your mother would have legal standing to find you. If you want to chat further or talk about the process of leaving home, feel free to contact our live services - the NRS hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY and the chat on 1800runaway.org, so that you can speak/chat directly with a person and they can answer any questions you have as they come up! In the meantime, stay safe, NRS!
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My parents are toxic and I need to move out ASAP! (I’m 1
how can I move out my parents are extremely toxic I barely go anywhere since I was a kid I go from home to school for the past 13 years of my life. They monitor what I eat what I’m doing every second of the day and I pay for everything on my own in regards to food, necessities like toothpaste, feminine products, school etc. they do pay for my phone, house,and insurance and I use my moms car. How do I move out on my own without them knowing so I’m able to afford the things I don’t already pay for. I feel like I’m trapped here I take care of my 3 younger siblings while they complain I don’t do anything. I’m turning 19 in a week and my mom got mad at me for something and told me I have to break up with my boyfriend as a result. I can’t live like this I have no clue where to start someone please help.Comment
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Hello! Thank you for contacting NRS. It’s a courageous first step to reach out and we applaud you for telling us your story. It sounds like it’s been really difficult to live at home and you’re looking to move out and start living independently from your parents. We at NRS are not legal experts but in most states, individuals over the age of 19 are considered adults and will not be considered runaways if they are to leave their home.
If you are looking for more resources regarding housing assistance, transitional living or just need someone to talk through options with, you can always call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Stay Safe,
NRS
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Hi, i’ll be 18 in april next year..i plan on leaving my last day of school which is in may with out them seeing me leave. I am stable financially and do have a place to go. I’m just scared on the outcome. should I leave a note for my parents to let them know that I’m fine? Could they call the police? I just want to know what will happen. Also I will be coming back because of college, which they are not paying for. What do I have to worry about? Also i’m in MD.Comment
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Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are planning on leaving home when you are 18 and without your parents knowing. So in MD, the age of majority is 18, meaning you are considered an adult and therefore can legally leave. We’re glad to hear you are financially stable and have a safe place to go as your safety is our main concern. It could be helpful to leave a note letting them know you are safe, just so they don’t file a missing person report or something. Even if police somehow did get involved, they should not force you to go back home as you are no longer a minor. If you would like to talk through this more, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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