Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Leaving home without telling parents at 18

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    Hi I’m moving out at 20 I’m adopted and my parents and I have basically butt heads since the day I was born and im tired of trying to impress them somehow or keep them cordial so im cutting all ties with them including my family im moving in with my boyfriend of 2 years in a completely different state no one knows I’m leaving I have no desire to re kindle a relationship with them or my family everyone is a part of the issue I just want to know can they come after me or somehow find me? I’m 20 years old will the police force me to return somehow?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. So the police will not likely get involved, though you could be reported as a missing person. At that point you could just explain to the police you are healthy and safe. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. It sounds like you have already considered some of that when choosing to live with your boyfrend. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

  • #92
    I am 17 almost 18 and want to move out when I turn 18. I already have a bought house waiting for me. My only worry is my dad. He's gets crazy when it comes to this and I'm scared of how he'll react. He's threatened to track me down and make me come home and to also get someone to hurt my boyfriend or have him killed. I want me own independence because living with him makes me feel like a bird in a cage. How do I tell my dad im moving out without too much trouble? And how do I not feel guilty? He also has 3 dogs I grew up with and I'm worried he'll get rid of them out of spite if I leave. What should I do and how can I tell him? He's also getting surgery on his teeth around the time I'm planning on leaving and I feel like he's gonna make me feel guilty for that because he always have me take care of the dpgs or wake him for work and make him coffee. I do so much for him like a maid or assistant or a house wife with no thank you. I don't know what to do please give me some advice. Thank you.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #93
    Hi so I’m almost 19 I live on a bad street with my mom she has substance abuse problems and runs with bad crowds let’s people in the house that should not be like thieves and way worse it’s honestly a miracle I haven’t got worse that having people steal from me she’s a narcissist and refuses any help I try to give her and I want to move I know I should but it’s hard cuz sometimes she’s horrible to me mostly but sometimes she’s nice and I know she will get upset and I don’t want her to die on the streets or anything because she doesn’t have a job and refuses to get one I have people willing to take me in but I can’t let her know where I’ll be and I’m so nervous and kinda scared mostly for her Sorry if this is a little much

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello! It sounds like you are in such a toxic situation. You deserve to be in a loving and supportive environment and not continue to be put in harms way as you have been. You may love your mom, but she is an adult and is capable of making decision for themselves. She is the only one who can accept help for herself. Being that you are both over the age of 18 you can search for shelters in your local areas using this link:

      Homeless Shelters | Find Homeless Shelters | Homeless Shelter Search (homelessshelterdirectory.org)

      We are extremely happy and proud of you for taking the necessary steps in contacting us for help. If you would like to talk further with someone about your situation, we highly encourage you to reach out to us at the National Runaway Safeline about your specific situation; we are here to listen and provide support 24/7! Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we also have a live chat service via our website https://www.1800runaway.org/.

  • #94
    I'm 18 year's old and I'm a senior in high school. My mom couldn't pay back a loan and now our house is being foreclosed. My mom is looking into property in a rural area in my state, which doesn't seem bad when you first think about it but it gets worse.
    She doesn't want me to go to school anymore. She wants to get farm animals and raise them and live on a ranch out in the middle of nowhere, when the rest of my family. They're extremely religious to the point where they only want to worship god down there. My mom asked me if i wanted to go or stay here, knowing damn well i would have no where to stay, I don't have a job and school hasn't even started yet. It feels like everything is moving too fast. She's having a walk through of our house tomorrow afternoon, and I don't want to move with her. She told me she wants to hide me away from the world and keep me where no one can touch me. She also believes that the government is going to start killing people on the streets and that the air is poisoning us. I don't know what to do at this point, I refuse to move away and live on a farm, she doesn't even want me to get an education.


    I'm feeling so overwhelmed and stressed, I feel like i can't even yalk to her. Everytime I tell her how I feel it turns in to an argument and then she passive aggressively tells me "I'm so sorry you get so upset about god being mentioned". She's been pushing her religion on me since I was little. I love my family, but I know I'm going to lose them through this. She was on the phone talking to someone about property in rural areas. I won't go with her, I refuse to.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, thank you for contacting us.



      It sounds like your mom is making some life changing decisions without giving you many options. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed when you aren’t able to voice your concerns to her without it turning into an argument. This is a major transition and it’s more stressful when you feel like you have no control over what happens. Moving to the rural area can be even more isolating when you feel like you can’t relate to the people you are around.



      It is important to note that you are legally an adult at 18 so you do have options. If education is important to you, there are ways to pursue that outside of a traditional high school setting. You could look into alternatives such as working for your GED. In terms of housing, do you have any trusted adults that you could speak with? If not, you could look into other housing options in your area such as transitional living programs. They can provide youth with housing services as well as assisting in completing your secondary education (high school graduation or GED).



      We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call or contact our Live Chat.

      Good luck!

  • #95
    Hello! I'm 18 tears old and I'm a senior in high school. my house is goin gto put on auction soon so my mom wants to sell it quickly. With the money she wants to move out into a rural area of our state and live on a farm, i think she's romanticizing what it's going to be like, she's only ever lived in the city. She told me I need to decide if I'm going to stay with her or stay in the city. My whole family is moving out there. I don't want to go with her, but I don't have a job. She even told me I shouldn't finish high school because I won't need it wont the government starts killing us... Like completely insane way of talking but she's dead serious. I won't not graduate high school to live in the middle of nowhere with her. I really hope she reconsiders and just stays here, it feels like the old woman i used to know as my mom has completely disappeared. She doesn't believe in mental health she doesn't believe in medicine. I really honestly think she's sick. When i try and talk about my feeling's it turns into an argument. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore, I stay in my room most of the time because I feel like when I'm around her she's always angry. I spoke to my friend, even my sister telling them I don't want to leave, hoping they would invite me into their home but they just told me "wow that sucks".

    Where could I stay so I can finish high school? I don't have a job but I will get one if I need to.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. From what you have mentioned here, your mom may be struggling with health issue and is not seeking out support with this. Witnessing a loved one go through this is incredibly hard, especially if their behavior directly impacts you. It sounds like your mom has made a big life decision and it feels like she did this without considering your feelings which is very difficult. You have a right to an education and you deserve the opportunity to pursue your goals.

      Since you are 18 you do have the legal freedom to choose where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. Please contact us directly by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) through live chat at 1800runaway.org, so that we can search our database for resources in your area.

      We are here to listen and help however we can.  
      NRS

  • #96
    I wanna leave my house but I can’t because I’m 15 gonna be 16 soon ish, and my mom doesn’t ever like let anything go through her it’s always her boyfriend. I hate being because his son sexually assaulted me and my mom pretty much made me see him early when I wasn’t supposed to, even tho it happened Awhile ago seeing him still brings it back. Being here everyday kills me. I don’t wanna live with that

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

      18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. Since you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

      Since NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, we can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #97
    Hey I'm 19 nearly 20 here , I wish to run away with my boyfriend in my 20th birthday as my house environment has taken the toll of me since childhood often leading to some physical abuse and verbal abuse, my eldest sister left but my parents brought her back the first time and the second one she succeeded, my boyfriend says he could try providing a place for me to sleep , but I have some money saved up I would only need the help of getting a job but I'm unsure of where to look for that and a bit scared since I dont have job experience

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,



      We are glad you reached out. It shows a lot of strength that you are looking for solutions to help yourself and get yourself in a healthy environment. It sounds like your current home life has been stressful for a long time! It is not ok that you were abused physically and verbally. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.

      It sounds like your boyfriend is supportive of you. It's great you have a support system like that. It can be scary to leave home and be on your own, it’s a big step. It also sounds like you have put thought into what you need to be able to live on your own. That’s great! At 18 you are considered an adult, and therefore can legally leave your parents house without their permission. If you have trouble getting your legal documents, like your birth certificate, you can call the police to help retrieve those. Those are your documents and you have a legal right to take them, and the police can help escort you out with them.

      Finding your first job can be tough. You can have someone help you write your resume. Teachers have lots of practice doing this and can help you think creatively to put the experience you do have on there to showcase your skills. You can see if any friends can help you get a job at their work, it can help if someone can vouch for you. There are also resources to help find jobs. Some community centers have drop-in services for resume writings or job search help. You can call in or chat with us and we can see if there is one in your area (1800-run-away 1800runaway.org). Job Corps is another resource that gives you a place to live, while teaching you skills to get a job (https://www.jobcorps.gov/).

      We have mentioned a lot! If you would like to talk any more about these options, or talk about anything else going on, we are here 24/7, here to listen, here to help.. Again, we want to thank you for reaching out, you are strong to continue to fight for yourself.



      Good luck!

  • #98
    hello im 18 and pregnant and my mom wont accept the dad of the baby and i want to leave but she will file fake reports on me so i can get introuble with the law what can i do and also can i take all my papers and social without her permission?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. You might check https://www.homelessyouth.org/en/ for rules around your rights to documents. Usually once you turn 18 those are considered your property rather than your parents since they only control your Social Security card and Birth Certificate on your behalf until you are at the age of majority.
      Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

  • #99
    i am 18 and i have a long distance boyfriend, im forced to do college up here (ny) but i want to move in with my boyfriend and his family who loves me and treats me like their own, my paren5s are scared im going to end up pregnant but that is not gonna happen. im worried they are gonna call the police AND if i do just get up and leave, i have ring camera's all around my house. what do i do??

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for contacting NRS. You deserve to be surrounded by love all the time. At NRS we are not legal counsel, however, since you are eighteen even if the police are called they cannot force you to come back to your home. However, you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions when regarding your parents and your future relations with them. It might be worth talking to your college to see what your schooling can look like should you chose to come back , and talking through a plan with people you trust in case things don’t go the way you expected with your boyfriend. Being 18 comes with a lot of freedom and in that case a lot of responsibility. This resource

      https://www.homelessyouth.org/en/us/...33b&scroll=888 might be helpful in answering some of your questions. Additionally, without specific advice it can be hard to provide adequate support so please give us a chat or a call. We are here to help you. Thank you again for reaching out. Our website is: https://www.1800runaway.org/ and our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we are 24/7 and here to support you.
      NRS

  • Hello I am 18 years old and I just moved out of my house. I got some of my clothes and belongings but I am wanting to get the rest. I am not sure if I am allowed to get hem. Also, I moved in with my boyfriend and grandma but I was told I could get arrested for not living with a legal guardian of my own, is that true? I am wondering what I can do for support because I am still in high school. My parents are not happy with any of the decisions I have made and I am just lost on what to do. I don't want to lose touch with them an my brother I am just so confused.

    Comment


    • I want to run away because I hate myself and I feel like nobody loves me and I’d rather starve to death and I have to do with people hating me

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,



        Thanks for reaching out; we are so glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through something really hard. We never want you to feel unloved or that you don’t have any options. We do our best work with people when we can have a conversation together, so we hope you will reach out via chat through this website or on our phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk this over. We are here to help 24/7. We truly hope to hear from you soon.

        Sincerely,

        NRS

    • Hello,

      I am turning 18 next month, and wish to move out as soon as possible. I am currently in college in the UK, and am getting a job. The reason why I wish to move is simply because I feel way too suffocated by my family. Having to put up with them for 17 years! I do think it's about time I have my freedom. The thing is, I wish to move out in secret, as I'd rather avoid any confrontation and conflict. Would you have any advice on the easiest and fastest way to move out, as well as the most secret way?

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out, we are glad that you did. Because you are in the UK, the best way to get help is through your own Runaway Helpline https://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/ This link, which we copied from here in the US may think you are in the US, but google the agency to get connected where you are.
        Good Luck.
        Sincerely,
        NRS

    • I’m about to turn 18 I want to get away from my toxic abusive mom and I live in West Virginia but the problem is that my mom would call the cops and hurt me

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting us. It is not easy to reach out to others for help and shows real maturity and initiative! We are happy to try to address concerns, but it can be difficult to provide more detailed and specific info for your situation through forums. If you would like to talk to us about more, please do not hesitate to reach out either through live chat at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and 100% anonymous and confidential.

        We are sorry to hear that you have to navigate such a toxic home environment. Everyone deserves to feel respected and supported at home and it makes sense that you want to leave a situation that does not offer that. While we are not legal experts, what happens after you run away depends on the state and your particular situation. In WV, you are considered a minor until you turn 18. That means that your mom can file a runaway report if you leave home. This is considered a "status offense", so it will not end up on your permanent record or result in juvenile detention (assuming no legal actions has previously been taken). How the police respond to the report really depends, and we have no way to know how serious they may take a report for a 17 year old. That said, if they do find you and you fear for your safety by being returned home, you are your #1 advocate to make the case not to be returned. Any evidence to support your claims will help.

        We realize this is not a lot of concrete information, but we are not able to weigh into legal matters, and you would need to contact a local legal office for more information. If you do choose/need to run, we are always here to help by providing shelter info and possibly other information.

        If you are ever in danger and fear for your physical safety, remember that your healthy and well-being is the number one priority and you should remove yourself from the situation and call 911.

        Take care and stay safe!
        National Runaway Safeline

    • I’m 19 years old (almost 20) and I’m planning on moving out I haven’t told my parents anything but since I’ve turned 18 my mom has threatened to kick me out numerous times I always feel like I’m walking in eggshells with her she’s passive aggressive towards me if I don’t sit in the living room with her and watch tv then she will get mad she likes to be very involved in my life but I’m at the point to where everyday is the same for me I have a job I work 5 days out of the week and I get told I’m lazy and my parents will belittle my job my boyfriend is signing a lease to a house in a couple of days I’ve been with him for two years and we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while and we’ve made the conclusion that not saying anything would be the best route because I know if I did bring it up they wouldn’t let me they only like saying I’m an adult as a way to insult/belittle me I know I need to move out because I want a better life.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out for guidance with what you're experiencing, it sounds like you've been in an environment that's been stifling and frustrating. It sounds like you've been wanting to move out for a while to improve your quality of life. Some states in the US do have different ages of majority, which is a term for the age you are legally allowed to live on your own, but that age is 18 in all but 3 states (Mississippi, Alabama, and Nebraska). Your parents don't have any legal claim over you at this time, meaning there are not any legal consequences to moving out, and in with your boyfriend. Something to consider is that they are also no longer required to provide housing/financial care for you (of course they can if they choose to, they are just not obligated by law). Living on your own for the first time can be intimidating, remember that you also have the option to find roommate(s), or to potentially stay somewhere short-term (a month-to-month or shorter lease). If you'd like to talk with someone more, either for help investigating your options, or just to talk about what's been going on, we're available 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY), chat or email (1800runaway.org)

    • Im 15- not 18 and so i cannot legally leave without permission but i can't live here anymore. Im not being abused or anything extreme but my parents only do things for me because they have to or so it can be used as leverage in the near future and they always insult me and try to discourage me from doing anything creative. Im also becoming disconnected from people I was close too lately. I could kill myself but i don't want to leave everyone else in my life. I wish i could just disappear as if id never existed or swap my family situation to a different one.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, we're really thankful you contacted us. It sounds like your life lately hasn't felt enjoyable, and that your relationships with your parents have felt forced and not supportive. You also said you've been feeling disconnected from people you were typically close to, and mentioned thoughts of killing yourself.

        We aren't doctors and don't have the authority to provide a legit diagnosis, but everything you've described are textbook symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder. We don't say this to scare you or provoke any worries about mental illness, but to let you know that what you're experiencing is treatable.

        The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) may be helpful in providing more information on what you're experiencing. Their website, if you'd like to call them or chat with them, is www.nami.org.

        Additionally, since you mentioned thoughts of killing yourself, we want you to have the contact information for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The folks who work there, like us here, value you and want to help in any and every way you can to stop feeling this way. Their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

        You mentioned that you want to disappear or swap your situation to a different one; running away at 15 can be difficult and often results in more problems than it solves. But if you decide you do need to do so, it is helpful to form a strong plan for the short term and long term. We can talk through details with you if you decide that is what you want to do.

        Additionally, it sounds like you could benefit from talking with someone who will listen to understand, and treat you with nonjudgmental good faith. We are here to provide that too.

        We encourage you to live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss things more. Both services are available 24/7, and are 100% confidential.
    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Auto-Saved
    x
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    x
    or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif
    x
    x
    Working...
    X