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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • #76
    hello my name is Gloria

    I want to leave home without telling my parents I'm eighteen and I'm also looking for a job but I'm still in high school in my Junior year. So how should I do that moving out I want to do by next summer 2021 at list that's my goal moving somewhere else far away and I want to cut lines as soon as personable. What should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Gloria! First of all, thank you for reaching out to NRS today. It was a very brave thing to do. We are sorry your home life puts you in a position that makes you want to leave. Another option is a Transition Living Program. These types of programs offer longer term living situation for different individuals depending on where you live. You can look into these programs online by providing the state you’re in. As for getting a job, since you are 18 you would most likely not need parental consent to work anywhere. Many jobs hire those who are 18 and up so looking online for jobs in your area may be of help for that. One service that we offer here at NRS is something called a conference call if you decide you want to talk to your parents about how you are feeling. You reach out on our hotline, give us a little background of what is going on, and then ask to have a conference call allowing you to speak to your parents with the support of one of our liners.They will be able to mediate the conversation and allow you to talk to them that way. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through and where this feelings might be coming from or to maybe build on your relationship and make it better. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that service is completely up to you. Lastly, you can use our chat service to have a more in depth conversation and explore a few more resources. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and our website is https://www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 and always ready to listen so do not hesitate to contact us again. We are so glad you reached out to us and know it is sometime difficult to ask for help.

  • #77
    hi, I just turned 18 and im wanting to move out because my parents are emotionally abusive.My problem is i love them and dont want to hurt them and i dont have the money to leave. Im not sure what to do anymore, its all just to much

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress at home and abuse of any kind is never okay. It's understandable you would want to leave a situation where you are not feeling supported. It's also okay to still love your parents and be hesitant about taking the step to move out. We are here as support for you 24/7 if you would like to talk more in detail about this.

      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.  

      We are available 24/7 for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat at 1800runaway.org. Please don't hesitate to reach out so that we can provide support and resources.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #78
    Hi I’m 20 and currently live in New Jersey. I have decided to move out of my home from my toxic family and in with my boyfriend. I am planning on leaving a note so they are aware of me leaving. In addition, I have a job and will be paying my own bills. However, my mom is trying to discourage me and prevent me from changing my bank account from custodial to general. In addition, she will not remove her name from my account. Is there a way for me to get my account from her or remove her name without her knowledge?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We're sorry to hear home life is toxic right now. That sounds difficult to deal with. Fortunately, at 20, you have every right to move out without any legal difficulties. As for your question regarding your bank account: the best thing to do would be to contact your bank about this. Likely, they may ask for proof of identification and that you are no longer a minor. Beyond that, we can't really say. Hopefully it won't come to it, but if you need any legal assistance we have numerous legal aid resources in our database that may be able to help. But, hopefully, changing accounts will be a simple matter.

      Of course, moving out of your parent's home for the first time is still a major life turning point. If you'd like to talk about this or need other resources (e.g. counseling) we are here for you any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chat via www.1800runaway.org. We are open 24/7 and are confidential.

      All the best,
      NRS

  • #79
    Hi, I'm 15 right now and live in Michigan, I want to move out of my house the week I'm legally able to because of personal reasons. I don't have any family or friends who can help me prepare. I plan for a college but will most likely not have any financial aid. How can I go through with this and prepare from an early age? I also can't get a phone or computer due to my family insisting that the only thing I need is a chromebook.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out. It is resourceful of you to find us and brave of you to reach out for support. It also sounds great that you are thinking of steps you can take to support yourself. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      Because you sound so motivated in school, you might consider if there is a school counselor or trusted teacher that you can talk to about how to plan for college. It is up to you how much detail to share about the reasons for wanting to prepare in advance. You mentioned personal reasons as why you want to move out. If you would like to chat about that in more detail with us, we’re confidential and available 24/7 by phone or online chat. If you want, we can also look up if there are counselors for youth in your area if you contact us.

      When you turn 18 years old you will more than likely be considered a legal adult which means that you will likely be able to move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will support yourself can be very helpful. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment for income, or to save up money for moving expenses. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living.

      We can best help by phone or chat if you are able to use your chromebook to chat in with us if you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically.

      We are here to listen and help however we can. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button).

  • #80
    i'm 18 years old and i want to move out because i'm done with my parents telling me what to do and how to live my life but i don't want my parents to know

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it makes sense that you would want more independence. Since you are 18 you are considered a legal adult and can live where you wish, despite your parents' thoughts. If you do opt to leave home you may want to consider leaving behind a letter so your parents know that you are safe and left on your own accord.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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