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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • #46
    Hello ,
    I live in Texas i am 19 years old. I live with my uncles and I just can’t live with them anymore it has become toxic and they treat me like a little girl when i’m a college student. They have control over my credit cards , my passport, SSN ( Everything!). My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and his family offered me to move in with them and I really want to they make me really happy. I don’t know what to do I have been taking clothes to his house little by little without them knowing. But nobody in my family knows i’m doing this. Not even my mom that lives in another country. can I just leave an leave a note?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your uncles are so invasive of your personal space. It isn’t fair for them to be interfering in your affairs and your life so severely. First of all, as a legal adult in Texas you are legally entitled to your personal documents- they are your property. If your uncles refuse to give them to you, you can call the police and ask them for a “civil escort” to retrieve your documents. Secondly, as a legal adult in Texas you are legally entitled to live where you please. You can move out with or without a note and they do not have the authority to force you to return home.

      If you want to talk about your situation further or if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #47
    Hello, I'm 18, almost 19 in a week... I live in Las Vegas...
    I have been thinking about leaving home for a long time now but I don't know what to do. I want to move back to Italy because I realized that that is where I feel happier. I have tried to speak to my mom about it but she would every time get mad and starts arguing. I am scared because I don't want her to suffer but at the same time I need to do something for myself that will make me happy. Also I have a boyfriend that lives in Italy and he comes often to see me but we have talked about having something more serious and I am ready to make this big step. I would like to read your thought about this. Thanks!!

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry it sounds like your mom is not being supportive of the way you want to live your life. Moving back to Italy and being with your boyfriend sounds amazing. You may not be able to convince your mom to be happy about this decision, though, and that is something that you’re going to have to consider as you make it. It might be a good idea to make a list of the pros and cons of moving to better visualize whether or not it is the right decision for you. It could also help your mom feel more comfortable about moving by making a detailed plan, so she knows that you are being thoughtful and careful. If you want to talk more specifically about what’s going on or what other options you have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #48
    hi. on my 18th birthday i got a tattoo and my father beat me because of it. i told them i was going to leave that night but my mother convinced me that probably wouldn’t be the smartest option. a few months later i find the perfect roommate, we find an amazing apartment, and were expecting to move out in less than 15 days. the only problem is, with my sensitive mother and my physically abusive father, i don’t know how to tell them i’m leaving so soon. they think i’m moving out in may of next year. i already put down my security deposit and app fee so it’s pretty much set in stone.
    im in austin TX btw.

    what do i do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out! These situations can sometimes be difficult to talk about, so we understand that reaching out takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you may have experienced physical abuse from your father. And, you seem to be taking some big steps to remove yourself from their house but you’re struggling with how to tell them about it.

      You definitely know your parents better than we ever could, so maybe it could be ideal to think about how you best communicate with them or with your mom (if you feel safer communicating with her). Sometimes there may be times and spaces when they or she may be in better moods to receive new information. It sounds like you have been thinking about this for a while, and you may have made your mind up. Maybe there are some things you can think about that will give some evidence as to why this is the best plan of action for you. Maybe finding ways to express how you will support yourself and remain independent will help build your case.

      If talking with them is difficult, maybe writing a letter or text could be more helpful to get all of your points across. Here at NRS we offer conference calling services where we facilitate a conversation between parents and youth. Maybe this could be a way to get across what you need to say with a non-biased facilitator. If this is something you are interested, both you and your parents, or your mom, would be able to set ground rules to have the most productive call possible.

      We hope this helps you some while you decide on how best to approach them. It sounds like you know and are capable of making decisions you feel are best for you. If you need more help brainstorming options, talking through your options, or you want to move forward with our conference call services please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We would love to support you in any way that works best for you.

      Best of luck,
      NRS
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