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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • #31
    Hi my name is Lucie and I’m 17 and I really want to leave home because my parents are so strict because they won’t let me hang out with some friends. I don’t know why they don’t trust me yet still. I’m moving in with a roommate and he has a mum so I’m gonna be having a foster mum. My parents wouldn’t let me have social medias as well which is so sad.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #32
    I'm 19 and at the legal age to leave/move out of my parents in Maryland. But the only problem i have is telling them pyshically which I'm lost on and have no idea how to. I know i have the right move freely without their premission, my main problem is that I've been planning to move out of the state with my boyfriend of 5 years and we've been planning this for sometime after i graduate. Now that i did graduate I'm struggling with how to tell them knowing that they dislike him and dknt even want me to be there with him. I know it'll cause alot of drama after wards wben it happens but right now I'm just lost and confused on how i should tell them fearing what the drama of the situation could bring with consequences.
    if there's anyway to tell them anything would be useful to me to help out on this.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for posting! Sounds like you are wanting to become a bit more independent and are struggling with how to talk to your parents about it. We are glad you reached out for help!
      It can be tough to have these big conversations. We do offer conference calling with parents, where you can call us and we set guidelines for the call, whatever you'd like, and then we serve as an advocate on the call to make sure your parents here your side and understand your point of view.
      You could also consider leaving a note when you go. We have known other youth to do that so their families do not worry. Others sometimes ask a trusted family member or friend who knows both you and your parents to help facilitate a conversation between you all.

      We hope some of this is helpful. It generally requires so much strength to ask for help! We are here 24/7 1-800-786-2929 and by chat on our website so reach out anytime!

  • #33
    My boyfriends parents emotionally frustrate him and he is the age of 19. He feels so smothered and manipulated. The parents never listen to him and often cut him off when they think they are right. They are what’s known as helicopters parents. The parents think they are always right and won’t ever listen to what there son has to say. They cuss him out and when he wants down time from college and work they call him lazy. When my boyfriend goes out with friends or me for example they call him excessively about 25 times a hang out to fight about the same things. There is at least a 5 minute gap between each call. They say things about me and they tell him things but never come to me to talk about it. They want every detail of his life and they jump to conclusions like asking him " are you on drugs?" That’s really hurtful for him. He feels like his parents think of him as trash when they ask those sorts of questions. He can’t stand up for himself because his dad will get aggressive. He just feels totally and literally smothered and he isolates himself at home. Me and my boyfriend has been planning to move him out with me so he can start a new and finish college without feeling worried about coming home. He has a job and can pay for food and his bills. I just don’t know what to do if his dad shows up to my house starting trouble after he reads the letter my boyfriend is going to write for his mom and dad and as well seeing his empty room. His dad will be outraged, he has bad anger issues. Please give advice!

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your boyfriend is in a pretty frustrating situation and it makes sense that he wants out. It also seems like he has a reliable and trustworthy support in you. Unless he is in Mississippi, at the age of 19 he is considered a legal adult. He has the right to live lawfully wherever he pleases and can move out of his parents home if he wants to. His parents no longer have the right to force him to do anything or live anywhere. If his dad showed up to your property uninvited and endangered you guys, you would have the right to call the police to remove him or protect you. If he continues to be unable to respect your boyfriend’s boundaries, you could consider pursuing a restraining order. While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience with runaways. If you would like to, you can verify any of this information with your local police department by calling them on their non-emergency number. You can also call us if you have any other questions or concerns that you would like to talk about. We are reachable at 1-800-786-2929 or 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #34
    Im 18.. 19 in september and im in Arizona Im planning to move out soon and i have a job n everything. Im planning to move into my boyfriends and im scared that they will hurt us. I also dont want to tell them im moving out either. But i dont want to call the police because i dont want my little sister to be living with her dad... What should i do. Im scared but i need to get out

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

      Since you are 18 you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. Moving can be a huge step, and can feel scary and isolating, but you are not alone. We are here to listen and help however we can.

      We could likely help best if you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org) as we are unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin.

      Hope to hear from you soon, NRS

  • #35
    I am 16 almost 17 in Oklahoma and I’m wanting to move out of my parents house, they steal my money and prevent me from saving my money. I still go to school but I have a well paying job. I’m wondering if they can call the cops on me if I move out.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We are sorry that you are going through this. With you working hard and having your money stolen, it is understandable that you’d want to change your situation. If you did leave, they can get the police involved by filing a runaway report. If they knew where you were, they could send the police and have you returned. It really comes down to whether you think they would involve the police or not.

      Can you talk with your local bank about whether you can open an account on your own? Usually minors need a parent or guardian, but you may find a rare one that may offer an exception. You can also consider cashing your checks and hiding your money in a place you do not think they will look.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you with the best of luck!
      NRS

  • #36
    I’m 19 and live in Michigan and I am ready to move out. The relationship with my parents isn’t the best and the other two times I wanted to move out they told me no. I want to move in with the guy I’m dating but they don’t approve of him. How do I move out without them telling me no and then trying to get the police involved? They know where the guy lives too and I don’t want them showing up at his house, what can I do about that also?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for contacting NRS for help! It sounds like you are wanting to move out of your parent's house to live with the person you are dating and gain more independence. We are not legal experts by any means, but we can share general information about runaway laws. At 19 you are considered a legal adult which means you can decide where you live even if your parents do not approve. If you do leave without permission, you would not be considered a runaway and the police would not necessarily intervene. Should your parents show up to the house where you are planning on staying at, they would not be able to enter the house without permission of the owner and would not be able to force you back home. The police in your area will have more information on their protocol for this type of situation. You can ask questions anonymously by calling the non-emergency number.

      We can best be of help by phone or chat, so please do not hesitate to reach out at 1-800-786-2929 or 1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 to help!

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #37
    I am 18, was a good student with remarkable grades.but im different from my other sisters and my parents hate that im different. I am out spoken when i dont like things they say to me, i am a very respectful individual to strive to make myself better.they have been telling me get out of their house a very long time. How do i let them know im finally moving out without causing a scene to make me look like the bad one. I just want to go and see what the world have to offer. I need advice!

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • #38
    I'm about to turn 18 I have very toxic parents who have lied to me about reasons why I can't move out simply so they can get the life support from my father, I am financially stable and have a roommate and friend group that supports me and plan to help me but I'm afraid my parents might do something drastic or get violent as my stepdad already has when I spoke to my mom about this and they have guilt tripped me before to try and make me stay what should I do to avoid a dramatic situation when the day comes?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are really responsible and making sure that you are doing things legally and ensuring that you will be safe. We are not legal experts but at 18 you are no longer considered a minor and can make your own decisions legally. There shouldn’t be any reason why you can’t move forward with your plans. If your parents contact the police they more than likely won’t do anything since your 18. If you are worried about your parents trying to force you to stay you could always get the police to escort you to pick up your things. If you feel unsafe in your environment and feel like your stepdad is violent you could also report him to the police or Child Help 1800-422-4453.
      If you have anymore questions or want to discuss more options please feel free to contact us via email, or chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

  • #39
    Hi. I barely turned 18 years old a week ago. My parents have never been accepting of my boyfriend and now more than ever they want me to break up with him and forcing me to not talk to him. My mom has me tracked from 3 different devices AND my boyfriend to make sure we don’t see each other. She has no reason to keep us apart, both my mom and my dad simply don’t want me to date or learn things on my own. I hate to shut up and just agree with everything they say and think.. even if it’s wrong. She can see all my messages now too. She reads them and stalks me all day. I have no privacy. They’re only pushing me away... I’m fed up of it all. I want to move out and live with my boyfriends family. They had already agreed to let me move in with them when I turned 18. Am I doing anything illegal here? I already talked to my parents and they don’t understand me or get in my position. I want to leave without them knowing. I’d do it at night

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It’s understandable that you’d be feeling frustrated with your parents and the lack of privacy.
      Although we’re not legal experts, 18 is the legal age of majority in most states. This means that you are considered an adult and do not need your parents’ or guardians’ permission to leave home. So it would be legal to go live with your boyfriend’s family without your parents’ permission.
      However, even if there would be no legal consequences, it’s also important to think through other possible consequences of leaving home as well and make a safety plan. If leaving would mean your parents would no longer support you financially or pay for your education, it’s a good idea to make a plan for supporting yourself long-term. It’s also a smart idea to have a Plan B in case things with your boyfriend or his family don’t work out so you don’t find yourself trapped, or homeless if they kick you out.
      If you think it could be helpful, another option could be asking a counselor, a different family member, or another adult you trust to mediate a conversation between you and your parents to see if they can help negotiate a compromise. For example, maybe your parents would let you see your boyfriend a certain number of times per week, or if you got certain grades. At NRS, we offer a conference call service where a volunteer mediates a conversation between a youth and their parents to make sure things stay respectful and everyone has a chance to be heard. If you’d like to try it out or talk more about your situation, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

      Stay strong,
      NRS

  • #40
    I’m 18 and a senior in high school. I want to move in with my friend and I also told my mom twice that I was leaving but she doesn’t believe me? I don’t know how else to tell her. I need help

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in quite a predicament. Because you are 18, you have the right to live where you choose. You do not need your mother’s permission to move out. It’s a little unclear about what you mean when you say she “does not believe you”, but we would be happy to try and help you with that problem if you wanted to reach out and talk more about that. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #41
    I’m 19yrs old going to be 20 soon, and at the moment I am crashing at a friends place(temporarily). Because my family constantly used and abused me... I don’t mind doing simple little favors, but I don’t get the respect I actually do deserve; instead, I’m treated like... I’m nothing/ a nobody. I don’t want to be submissive, but my part time job is $12/hr. However, minimum wage will go up in 2020, “apparently.”

    Somehow, I ended up taking the risky path in life... Where I somehow succeed on my own; if all my hard-work pays off and luck is on my side for once. Or It could be the last chapter of my life being a tragedy...

    Renting in California/ grow-up decision-making
    1.) move to a different state(job hunting/saving)
    2.) two jobs(could get paid $24 to $30 vs. $12/hrs)
    3.) full time employee( managing to survive/ go to school?... maybe)
    4.) move back with my family(save money, get other/ maybe different job)

    Savings/Employment/Location: Setting on “difficulty” level...

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have really thought about a plan for how you are going to survive on your own. If you want to discuss the options you listed in more detail you can call NRS at 1800-RUNAWAY. We are confidential, 24/7 and here to help you! Best of luck.
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