Leaving home without telling parents at 18

I’m 19 years old (almost 20) and I’m planning on moving out I haven’t told my parents anything but since I’ve turned 18 my mom has threatened to kick me out numerous times I always feel like I’m walking in eggshells with her she’s passive aggressive towards me if I don’t sit in the living room with her and watch tv then she will get mad she likes to be very involved in my life but I’m at the point to where everyday is the same for me I have a job I work 5 days out of the week and I get told I’m lazy and my parents will belittle my job my boyfriend is signing a lease to a house in a couple of days I’ve been with him for two years and we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while and we’ve made the conclusion that not saying anything would be the best route because I know if I did bring it up they wouldn’t let me they only like saying I’m an adult as a way to insult/belittle me I know I need to move out because I want a better life.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting us. It is not easy to reach out to others for help and shows real maturity and initiative! We are happy to try to address concerns, but it can be difficult to provide more detailed and specific info for your situation through forums. If you would like to talk to us about more, please do not hesitate to reach out either through live chat at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and 100% anonymous and confidential.

We are sorry to hear that you have to navigate such a toxic home environment. Everyone deserves to feel respected and supported at home and it makes sense that you want to leave a situation that does not offer that. While we are not legal experts, what happens after you run away depends on the state and your particular situation. In WV, you are considered a minor until you turn 18. That means that your mom can file a runaway report if you leave home. This is considered a "status offense", so it will not end up on your permanent record or result in juvenile detention (assuming no legal actions has previously been taken). How the police respond to the report really depends, and we have no way to know how serious they may take a report for a 17 year old. That said, if they do find you and you fear for your safety by being returned home, you are your #1 advocate to make the case not to be returned. Any evidence to support your claims will help.

We realize this is not a lot of concrete information, but we are not able to weigh into legal matters, and you would need to contact a local legal office for more information. If you do choose/need to run, we are always here to help by providing shelter info and possibly other information.

If you are ever in danger and fear for your physical safety, remember that your healthy and well-being is the number one priority and you should remove yourself from the situation and call 911.

Take care and stay safe!
National Runaway Safeline

I’m about to turn 18 I want to get away from my toxic abusive mom and I live in West Virginia but the problem is that my mom would call the cops and hurt me

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out, we are glad that you did. Because you are in the UK, the best way to get help is through your own Runaway Helpline https://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/ This link, which we copied from here in the US may think you are in the US, but google the agency to get connected where you are.
Good Luck.
Sincerely,
NRS

Hello,

I am turning 18 next month, and wish to move out as soon as possible. I am currently in college in the UK, and am getting a job. The reason why I wish to move is simply because I feel way too suffocated by my family. Having to put up with them for 17 years! I do think it's about time I have my freedom. The thing is, I wish to move out in secret, as I'd rather avoid any confrontation and conflict. Would you have any advice on the easiest and fastest way to move out, as well as the most secret way?

[ccsmod15]

Hi,



Thanks for reaching out; we are so glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through something really hard. We never want you to feel unloved or that you don’t have any options. We do our best work with people when we can have a conversation together, so we hope you will reach out via chat through this website or on our phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk this over. We are here to help 24/7. We truly hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

NRS

I want to run away because I hate myself and I feel like nobody loves me and I’d rather starve to death and I have to do with people hating me

Hello I am 18 years old and I just moved out of my house. I got some of my clothes and belongings but I am wanting to get the rest. I am not sure if I am allowed to get hem. Also, I moved in with my boyfriend and grandma but I was told I could get arrested for not living with a legal guardian of my own, is that true? I am wondering what I can do for support because I am still in high school. My parents are not happy with any of the decisions I have made and I am just lost on what to do. I don't want to lose touch with them an my brother I am just so confused.

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thank you for contacting NRS. You deserve to be surrounded by love all the time. At NRS we are not legal counsel, however, since you are eighteen even if the police are called they cannot force you to come back to your home. However, you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions when regarding your parents and your future relations with them. It might be worth talking to your college to see what your schooling can look like should you chose to come back , and talking through a plan with people you trust in case things don’t go the way you expected with your boyfriend. Being 18 comes with a lot of freedom and in that case a lot of responsibility. This resource

https://www.homelessyouth.org/en/us/...33b&scroll=888 might be helpful in answering some of your questions. Additionally, without specific advice it can be hard to provide adequate support so please give us a chat or a call. We are here to help you. Thank you again for reaching out. Our website is: https://www.1800runaway.org/ and our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we are 24/7 and here to support you.
NRS

i am 18 and i have a long distance boyfriend, im forced to do college up here (ny) but i want to move in with my boyfriend and his family who loves me and treats me like their own, my paren5s are scared im going to end up pregnant but that is not gonna happen. im worried they are gonna call the police AND if i do just get up and leave, i have ring camera's all around my house. what do i do??

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. You might check https://www.homelessyouth.org/en/ for rules around your rights to documents. Usually once you turn 18 those are considered your property rather than your parents since they only control your Social Security card and Birth Certificate on your behalf until you are at the age of majority.
Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

hello im 18 and pregnant and my mom wont accept the dad of the baby and i want to leave but she will file fake reports on me so i can get introuble with the law what can i do and also can i take all my papers and social without her permission?

[ccsmod2]

Hey there,



We are glad you reached out. It shows a lot of strength that you are looking for solutions to help yourself and get yourself in a healthy environment. It sounds like your current home life has been stressful for a long time! It is not ok that you were abused physically and verbally. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.

It sounds like your boyfriend is supportive of you. It's great you have a support system like that. It can be scary to leave home and be on your own, it’s a big step. It also sounds like you have put thought into what you need to be able to live on your own. That’s great! At 18 you are considered an adult, and therefore can legally leave your parents house without their permission. If you have trouble getting your legal documents, like your birth certificate, you can call the police to help retrieve those. Those are your documents and you have a legal right to take them, and the police can help escort you out with them.

Finding your first job can be tough. You can have someone help you write your resume. Teachers have lots of practice doing this and can help you think creatively to put the experience you do have on there to showcase your skills. You can see if any friends can help you get a job at their work, it can help if someone can vouch for you. There are also resources to help find jobs. Some community centers have drop-in services for resume writings or job search help. You can call in or chat with us and we can see if there is one in your area (1800-run-away 1800runaway.org). Job Corps is another resource that gives you a place to live, while teaching you skills to get a job (https://www.jobcorps.gov/).

We have mentioned a lot! If you would like to talk any more about these options, or talk about anything else going on, we are here 24/7, here to listen, here to help.. Again, we want to thank you for reaching out, you are strong to continue to fight for yourself.



Good luck!

Hey I'm 19 nearly 20 here , I wish to run away with my boyfriend in my 20th birthday as my house environment has taken the toll of me since childhood often leading to some physical abuse and verbal abuse, my eldest sister left but my parents brought her back the first time and the second one she succeeded, my boyfriend says he could try providing a place for me to sleep , but I have some money saved up I would only need the help of getting a job but I'm unsure of where to look for that and a bit scared since I dont have job experience

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. Since you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Since NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, we can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS