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Leaving home without telling parents at 18

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  • #16
    Hi, Im 18 years old in Georgia and headed to Kansas in about a month. I have been planning for six months now to move in with my best friend. I have a job lined up, a substantial amount of money saved up, a place to stay and resources for food and such. I will not be telling my parents that I am leaving before I leave, and after I leave they will have no contact with me. I have thought about leaving a note.

    My issues are, as an 18 year old can they file a missing persons and will the police make me come home? If I leave a note will it help? What are options or steps I can take from this point? If it helps anything at all I turn 19 in two months. I read something about parents having legal control over you until you are 24 and freaked out.

    thank you for your help

    Comment


    • #17
      Reply: Hi, Im 18 years old in Georgia


      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since you are 18 living in the state of Georgia more than likely you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. You can always check with the local police on the legal age of adulthood in your state. Once you move you can always check to see if there is a missing person’s report on file for you by contacting the police or sheriff department. Should you find that you are consider missing you can then try to clear up the matter with them by explaining the situation and having your name removed from the missing person’s list.
      Another option is the one you suggested about informing your parent’s through a note, email etc. of your intentions to move away.
      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      Take care,
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #18
        Hi right now I am 18 and I live in New York. I want to leave my house because my parents are not good for my emotional and mental wellbeing. The household is very toxic. My parents have a Camera in the front of the house. I have a car, but my mom works 10am-10pm my father works 5am-6pm. I have a trip in 3 weeks where I will be meeting my whole team at school and flying away so I thought it luke be a good cover, However, they might hear me start my car and get a little suspicious. What do you think I should do

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
          We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #19
        Hello, I am 18 and I really don't know what to do right now. My parents love me, I know that. But I cannot live here. I have a friend who can pick me up, I have a way to pay for school in the fall, I have somewhere I can stay. I am getting a job and will be working within 2 weeks. Right now, I have no cash and almost no money in my bank account. I pay for my phone, but I'm on my parents' plan- so I will want to go on my own phone plan. I know that when I leave I won't have a car. I don't know what to bring with me. I don't know how to just leave. I am afraid of what they're going to do. If I leave, my parents will not react well. They are sometimes manipulative and hold things over people's heads. I guess I'm just afraid of their reaction. I want to leave now, but I don't know how. I would call, but I'm afraid they'll hear me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi,

          Thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a tough time at home right now and would like to leave but are conflicted due to your parents’ response. In addition, it sounds like you will have a job to make money and transportation and funding for school. Since you are 18, in most states 18 is the age where you are considered a legal adult and not a minor. As a legal adult, you would be able to leave home and not have running away count as a status offense. Your parents could still file a missing persons’ report, but at age 18, you would be legally able to leave home. It sounds like you’re really worried about your parents’ reaction. You also have the right to feel safe and be with people who support you. We offer messaging and email services if you are unable to call. Our website is www.1800runaway.org and you can email us at info@1800runaway.org. Another option for travel is traveler’s aid, where programs and organizations may provide funds for people who are homeless or stranded. We would need to know your state and city to see if you were eligible. As far as packing, at NRS we are non-directive, however we would recommend bringing ID, social security, birth certificate and other relevant documents with you so you have them on hand. It sounds like you are going through a hard time with your family and it can be hard when your home does not feel like home. Would you ever consider counseling for yourself or would your parents be willing to try family counseling? This would also be an option.

          We’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help. If you would like to talk further about your situation please do not hesitate to call (1-800-786-2929) or chat (www.1800runaway.org) with us. We are open 24/7 and here to help.

      • #20
        Hi, I’m 20 about to be 21 in couple months.. A college student.. My issue is, I have a very strict religious parent and they can be very Frustrating.. It’s been very difficult living with them. I’m finically able to move out, but due to our religion and believes also their concern I haven’t. They just want to keep controlling and watching my every move until I’m married.. There isn’t just no freedom! At this point I can’t take it anymore, my now boyfriend that they don’t know nothing about, because if they do they won’t approve of us dating possibly scared him away just like all my other ex boyfriends.. Anyways he wants me to move in with him instead of me getting my own place and I really want to, but I’m also worried because he lives in another state. I will have to do a lot of changes like, I’m already in rolled in all my classes for fall classes at my university in the state I live. And my job as well.. I don’t want to just quit, I want to put my two week notice in before I can leave.. Now, because I live with them I don’t know how I can make all these big changes without them noticing.. I really just want to live that house and not come back probably leave them a letter so they don’t think I’m missing because it’s something they will never imagine.. Help, any advice could be helpful. Thanks in advance..

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand how hard it can be when you are looking for help to reach out to others. We are sorry for the situation you or in and impressed that you are trying to make the best decision for yourself. Do you have plans for what you want to do with your college education? Are your parents paying for tuition or are you? If they are, do you think they would continue to pay if you were in another state? Have you looked into colleges near your boyfriend? It would be helpful if you could find one that accepted your credits from your current college. How long have you known your current boyfriend? Is he aware of how your parents are? You seem to care a lot about your parents. How would they feel if you moved to another state? However, you are legally an adult so you don’t need their permission. You can make your own decision.
          Again, we are glad you chose to reach out to us. If you would like to discuss your situation with us further please feel free to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.

      • #21
        Hello, I am 18 years old and I am having a hard time communicating with my parents.
        I make sure to keep them updates on where I am and what I am doing but recently they found out that I am sexually active and they are slut-shaming me along with being on my back for everything even though my sisters do not receive the same confliction. I want to get a job but my parents are keeping my SSN, birth certificate, etc. away from me because they believe I can't handle it. My boyfriend is going to Texas this summer (I live in California) and I want to go.

        For a fact, I know my parents won't let me but I think I'm just going to go. I'm a very good kid, I listen and do as I'm told and have great grades but if I ask to go out they remind me of "doing what I am not supposed to be doing". Should I just go? They'll treat me like crap if I ever come back.

        I can't handle it, due to me being older I understand how I've been raised is not right. I have two guinea pigs and I don't want my parents to kill them. I don't know what to do, help.

        Comment


        • #22
          Hi, as of right now, I am 16 years old. In two years ahead of time, I am planning to move out whilst still in highschool, would I be able to move out While om highschool, at the age of 18? Or would my parents be able to report to the police to file a missing persons report?

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, once you are 18 you are considered a legal adult and can live where you please regardless of educational status. If you do opt to leave home, your parents can request that the police perform a "wellness check" on you, but that means that they would come out to ensure that you are safe and then leave you alone. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS

        • #23
          Hello, I will be 18 in a few in Nebraska, can I leave the state without my parents permission without them filing a police report?

          Comment


          • #24
            Reply: Hello, I will be 18 in a few in Nebraska

            Hello,
            Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. 19 is the legal for adulthood in Nebraska so it’s possible that yes they can file a runaway report. You might consider contacting the non-emergency number to your local police department to get more information on the age for moving out legally of your parent’s home.

            We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            We hope to hear from you soon.


            Take care,
            NRS


            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #25
              Hello I am 18 and about to be 19 next week, I’ve been planning to leave the house without letting my parents know, I love them but all these years I’ve felt trapped and well a lot has happened inside my household. I am moving in with my boyfriend who’s family is willing to support me in every way, I am scared of what my parents will think and say of me and well also scared to loose them especially my mom or my younger brothers. I am leaving pretty soon when I get the chance and leaving a note for each one of them, I am still going to college and continue my path. I would like to know if I’m doing the right thing, especially in gaining my independence since they are holding me back and treating me like a kid. I would also like to know if it’s best for me to leave without notice and also take my birth Certificate, ssn, and passport with me without my mom knowing since I’m leaving anyways.

              Comment


              • ccsmod9
                ccsmod9 commented
                Editing a comment
                Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
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