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I'm 13 and running away with my two friends. Should I?

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  • I'm 13 and running away with my two friends. Should I?

    Um... Hi. You see, my two friends and I have been planning to run away since the summer. We know exactly how we'll meet each other, how we'll get out, and where we are going. We've already packed essential supplies, and we're all ready to go. We have 2000 dollars packed, as well, and are ready to run away.
    My family isn't what you would call supportive. They put so much pressure on me, and I don't feel safe around my parents. I don't even feel safe in my own house. My father yells all the time, swears at me and abuses me. He also goes out drinking a lot. My mother makes me pay for my sibling's mistakes and my siblings sexually abuse me. I hate school, and I can barely focus in class. My friends couldn't care less about me and what I do. They call me names such as (excuse me for swearing) slut, whore, dumbass, **********, and everyone just laughs at me.
    Even though I get A's and B's on my report card, if I miss just one homework assignment my parents flip out and act like I've killed someone.
    Me and my two friends are ready to run away, but I just don't know if I should go...

  • #2
    re: I'm 13 and running away with my two friends. Should I?

    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help you in the best way we can. It seems like you and your friends are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and it is very brave of you to be able to reach out to us.

    No one ever deserves to be treated the way you have been, we’re sorry you have to experience this. Always remember that you matter and we are here to help you in the best way we can. If at any point you feel unsafe in your home, remember that you are always able to contact your local police department and they will assist you with your situation. You mentioned that your brothers sexually abuse you, if you ever feel like filing a child abuse report is something you would want to do. You are extremely strong and brave for being able to share that with us. We want you to know that you matter and we are here for you. Here are some options as to how you can go about filing an abuse report if you are comfortable:

    • Contacting your local police department. If you are being abused, you can contact your local police department and an officer can come out to your home and a case worker can potentially be called to the home and file an abuse report with you.
    • Contacting the Child Help USA hotline at 1-800-422-4453, there are counselors available there 24/7 who will be willing to talk to you about the abuse and would be able to give you more information about filing a report and what that looks like.
    • A school counselor/social worker or teacher are typically mandated reporters, which means that if you disclose any abuse to them, they would be mandated to file an abuse report.
    • If you were to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we would also be able to file an abuse report with you. Typically we would contact your counties Child Services agency and walk through that process with you.

    Here at NRS we have a conference calling service where we would serve as a mediator between you and your parents in order to talk about what can make the situation at home better. We are not here to take sides but rather talk about how the situation at home can get better. Have you thought about potentially writing a letter to your mom where you would be able to express your feelings and share how certain things make you feel? It might be a long stretch, but it could potentially help the relationship. Also, it might help if you leave it in her purse when you are not around, so she can process the letter.

    You also mentioned that you and your friends are thinking about running away, we are not necessarily here to tell you what to do, but we are here to rather help you explore some options. Running away is a big step, but perhaps there is something that you can do at home to make the situation better. Here are some questions you might want to think about before you decide to leave:

    • What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
    • What would make me stay at home?
    • How will I survive?
    • Is running away safe?
    • Who can I count on to help me?
    • Have I given this enough thought?
    • What are my other options?
    • If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
    • When I return home, what will happen?

    If exploring options is something you would want to further do, please feel free to reach out to us at our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or to reach out to us through our live chat service which is available from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST every day. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do, we also hope to get your call soon.

    Stay strong,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 05-05-2015, 10:35 PM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm 11 and running away with my friend should I?

      Hello... I'm 11 and I wanna run away with my best friend I have been rapped and it was horrible and it was by my own brother I just want to have help and ask if I should go.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: I'm 11 and running away with my friend should I?

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are going through this right now, it sounds like you have been through a lot. Running away is a big decision and it was very brave of you to reach out for help. While we are not legal experts here we can provide you with some general information. Anyone under the age of 18 years old is legally considered a minor and is still the responsibility of their parent or legal guardian. If a minor does leave home without their parent/guardian’s permission then that guardian would be able to file a runaway report with the local police. Being reported as a runaway is a status offense; this means that it does not go on your permanent record and would not get you into trouble unless you are already involved in the legal system.

        If you were to leave home a few things to consider could include:
        1. Where would you go?
        2. Do you have a plan for a safe place to sleep?
        3. How would you get food?
        4. If you were to get into trouble or need help who could you turn to?
        5. How do you think your parent/guardian would react to you leaving home?

        We are so sorry to hear that you have been raped. No one has the right to hurt you and you absolutely have the right to be safe. Sometimes talking about difficult or scary situations can be helpful. Examples of people that other people have reached out to for help include teachers, counselors, friends, family, police, spiritual/religious leaders, coaches, etc. In addition, there are hotlines with counselors who are specifically trained to provide a safe place to talk about rape. A few options include:
        RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) 1(800)656-4673
        Victims of Violence (VOV) (315)366-5000
        No one has the right to hurt you and if you ever wanted to file a report against your bother you could get more information by contacting Child Help USA 1(800)422-4453.

        Also, we are available here at NRS 24/7 to confidentially answer questions, talk through your options, and help you make a plan. If you would be interested in finding more counseling or shelter resources in your area specifically we can talk with you one-on-one either over the phone or via live chat.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi, I'm 13, and me and my best friend wanna run away. We haven't really sorted things out, because it's Summer break. I dont feel very comfortable saying what's been happening. When school starts back we are gonna start working things out, but what are some questions we should be asking ourselves. Just to make sure we can't get caught. And any other tips could help.

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, there,
            Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult situation right now and are thinking about your options. You mention that you’re not comfortable saying what’s been happening—your safety is our #1 concern, so if you feel like you are in immediate danger, you can always call 9-1-1. If there is abuse going on, you have the right to file an abuse report. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that or wanna know what might happen if you do file a report, you can call Child Help (a confidential hotline) at 1-800-422-4453.
            Regarding running away, we can give some general information. Since you are a minor, your families would have the right to file a runaway report. If the police are able to locate you, they may return you home. That being said, we understand that sometimes your safest option is to leave. If you decide to leave, you may want to think about the following: where you’ll go, how you’ll get there, how long you can stay there, and what your backup plan might be. If you have friends or family members who could take you in, that could be an option. Another option could be staying at a shelter, though keep in mind many shelters will need to reach out to your guardians. You may also wanna consider what you’ll bring; it’s a good idea to bring food, water, clothing for extreme weather, and money if you can. You may also want to think about a safety plan for if you find yourself in a dangerous situation.
            Thank you again for reaching out. Please feel free to reach out again by phone if you have any questions or need help locating resources near you. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. Take care and stay safe.

        • #6
          Uhhh.... Hi. So I’m 13 and my friend and I are planning to runaway once the school year ends. My friend has problems at home and I’m trying to do this to cheer her up and so that she doesn’t have to be alone. We sort of live in the country side, so what should watch out for and where would the safest place for us be: in a city or in the wilderness. We have a medkit and I know how to use it too in case someone gets hurt.

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. As far as places you should know that it might be a good idea to find something in a city since you don’t know whats out there and if you have never gone camping it might prove to be too much.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #7
          Hi. I'm 13 years old and I am planning on running away. I haven't been abused or anything, but my mom gets irrationally angry and will scream at me for no reason. My younger sister is constantly rude to me and neither of them seem to care about me at all. I feel like my only options are suicide or running away. Every day there's so much pressure on me and I'm scared about what she'll say next. I've done lots of research and already packed my bags but I don't know if I should go.

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

            It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.


            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #8
          Hi I’m thirteen and I’ve ran away multiple times.....I’ve been sexually abused and I get yelled at constantly. I’ve tried to commit suicide a couple of times and I’ve been to a facility once. I feel like I want to run away again what should I do

          Comment


          • ccsmod13
            ccsmod13 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault.

            It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well.

            You also have the option to report the abuse going on at home. There is an organization called Child Help that advocates for young people to keep them our of harm's way. You can get help with making a report in order to have a social worker intervene to make sure you have somewhere safe to live. You can reach out to them at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelphotline.org to find support.

            Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you decide that you need to leave home it is important that you have a safe place to go. The National Safe place can help you by texting "safe" and your current location to 44357 for the nearest safe place. You can call our hotline anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or use our livechat at www.1800runaway.org to talk more about your situation and further explore your options. We are here to listen and help.

            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #9
          I am currently 13 years old , and I feel unsafe in my home. Both of my parents have extreme anger issues , and constantly lash out on my siblings and I. My dad has started to become more abusive as the days pass. Today my mom screamed at me , and told me to "Get out of my face!". I've been thinking about running away for a while now , but I don't know if I'm mentally and physically prepared for what's ahead. I know that life out there would be better than in here.. What do I do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,
            Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Home is usually a safe place and we are sorry to hear that home does not feel safe for you.
            Abuse is never okay and it is frustrating that you and your siblings are going through that. You always have the right to file an abuse report, and there are a few ways you can do that. One option to consider is calling Child Help, they can be reached at 1800-422-4453. Another option would be to talk with your school counselor because they are mandated reporters they are required to make a report. If you are ever in immediate danger please call your local police.
            You also mentioned running away, we are not legal experts but we can explain what could happen if you were to leave home without permission. Your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely will bring you back home. You know your life the best so we believe that only you can make the decision if you want to run away or not.
            We hope this may help with your situation and help with a decision. If you want to talk more or see what other options are available please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
            NRS

        • #10
          I’m 13 I want to kms I don’t feel like being alive anymore I’m not happy at all I’m a loser I don’t do anything and I’m stupid but before I kms I wanna runaway to see if that will help I have 1 thousand dollars and my bags packed

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for reaching out, we know it takes a lot of courage to open up to others and you should feel proud of yourself. You said that you don't feel like being alive anymore and want to kill yourself. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

            It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

            If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

            Stay safe,
            NRS

        • #11
          hey I'm 12 and I wanna run away to my girlfriends house because me and my mum are always fighting and i cant take it anymore. should I run away

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with you and your mom. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. That's something to keep in mind if your girlfriend's parents will be in the house you are staying at.For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #12
          Uh..Hi I’m 13 years old and I’m thinking to runaway from my parents.
          I’ve been depressed for close to 2 years now, When I go to school I have a lot of friends but I feel like i’m all by my self.
          When I came back from school my dad is at work (Fact about my dad: He swear, yell, throw things, and he even hits me with stuff he have in he’s hands he even broke my phone just because I was texting my boyfriend*ex*) And my mom is a busy woman she have to take care of my 8month brother. They doesn’t let me text or have a phone, I got sexual abused by my dad, (he’s my step dad) He saw my private places and always winks at me and he doesn’t even wear clothes he only wears underwear it’s really uncomfortable to me. My mom is very scary to be honest, she usually yells in front of my brother and she even hits me with Filial son. It really hurts a lot then you’ll ever know. I even got bruise on my arms and my legs. If my parents and I start to fight I always get Abused.
          I told my mother that I’m depressed and she said it’s just my imagination and she said I’m crazy she just won’t listen to me either, I told her that I’m thinking to die or cut my arm, she said just die. It hurts so much I feel like she hates me so much, My mother got married at 21 or 22, she was pregnant at 24. My step dad still asks me to touch my body and look at my private place it’s really horrifying and scary....I packed my stuffs and ready to live but i don’t have phone or anything, I’m writing this on my School Ipad...I’m so worried.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in an incredibly tough spot. Although it can be scary sometimes, reaching out for help is a great first step.

            Have you tried speaking to a school support counselor or another trusted adult about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing? It can be hard to experience these sorts of things when you are feeling alone but speaking with someone you trust who has your best interest in mind can really help. You should also not be treated this way, and you also have the ability to call the local police and file an abuse report if that is something you are comfortable with doing.

            Another option could be to call into the National Runaway Safeline call service and speak with someone about your options. Through that service, we can provide you with resources, talk with you through how you are feeling, and can even assist with filing a police report if that is what you choose to do. The number is 1-800-786-2929, and you can call 24/7 and someone will be available to speak with you.
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