Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

[Guest]

Im 15 and will be 16 in october, I have been constantly mentally and emotionally abused for years. I have told my stepmom and dad that I dont want to live here and that I want to go live with my mom but they refuse to take me to court and decide. I am old enough to decide but I dont know who to get in contact with to make this happen.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. We are very sorry to hear that you have been mentally and emotionally abused for years and that your dad and step mom won't take you to court.
We are not legal experts, but it is your mom who would have to start court proceedings. She would have to request a change in custody, then the judge should listed to your preference.
We would like to talk with you about what you are going through and give you the support you deserve. We hope that you will reach out to us via live chat through this website, or by calling our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

So I'm 16 and have some perantal issues and questions 1. Are parent's allowed to verbialy deggrded u in anyway they like or pls.
2. Can parent's hurt u and laugh at u for crying
3. Can parterns Really do what ever they want with u?
-
SO.. I've been having some issues in my house for a very long time since I was eather 10 or 11 my mother would bring different men in to are home frequently because she didn't want to be lonely or at least that's what I think she never really payed much attention to me or my siblings growing up , being yunger my mother would get a bit drunk and that wold result to her beating me and my sister she tells me I'm stupid and crazy an that I mack up story's in my head and that it never happened, I've always tried to say Happy and positive I would tell my self it's ok it will pass and it did but it wold just happens aging like a loops just in different times in different ways , and each time I tried to see the better. It's was ok when my mom settled down with her new bf aka my step dad he has been with us for 7 years now in the bigging everything was ok but my mom and dad started to fight with each other very childishly and in front of my yunger siblings Wich made me upset and I would get in it and tell them both to shut up or stop my set dad has punched me in the face and told me he did that so if anyone even hits me I won't go down ( Wich I think is messed up but idk )this happened on and off for a while the Fighting was so bad it effected me in a way I can't explain, we would have cps frequently but I always felt cumpaled by my mother to say the truth
but yesterday I gathered my curuge and spoke to a Social worker at school. I was afford but relieved
I came home and talk to my sister about what I did. She was very mad at me and started telling me things like wtf is wrong with u are u stupid? All I hade to say was I just want things to be batter.. I want to have a life of pece and enjoyment all she hade to say was your selfish and u just want to do what u want .. it hurts hearing that.. cuz that's not true.. not even a little. She won't to go tell my mother everything my mother told me I was no longer going to school I told her she cants do that , she say oh yes the ******** I can watch and.. that's exactly what she did.. I called the cops last night and they sent 2 officers over hear to speak to us but it wasn't much help.. my mother lied to the cops.. she's liked to the cops Frequently about the things that go on in the house. She laughs at me in my face and tells me I'm a pendeha and the cops won't believe me cuz I'm a kid.. Wich is true.. the cops looked very dessponded in me.. hearing what my mother had seid.. I wanted to screm and say that not true..but I tough to my self .. if I do it won't do anything but mack more problems.. my mother got her way in the end.. I'm very desspret and I really need help.. I feel like I might kill my self if this keeps going on like this..

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us about what you are going through and sharing some of your story. It is obvious you are in a very tough position and that there are a lot of different factors making you feel stuck right now. We want to walk through a few of these with you, and to encourage you to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or our chat service at www.1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about any of these issues.

You specifically asked about whether parents are allowed to verbally degrade you, hurt you, and laugh at you. From your description, this sounds like emotional and verbal abuse. While this is wrong and you do not deserve to be treated this way (by anyone, especially your parents), this type of abuse is difficult to prove to others because it doesn’t leave any visible “proof.” Physical abuse is more likely to receive a response from CPS and the police because it is able to be documented. From what you shared, it seems like you have also experienced physical abuse from your parents as well. Again, we are incredibly sorry to hear that you have been dealing with that for so many years, and it is not ok that you have received that treatment from those who are supposed to protect and care for you.

The situation you are in regarding reporting your experiences to CPS seems like it became complicated, and felt even more confusing and frustrating for you. An important thing to remember is that talking about what you are going through at home is not wrong, and that sharing your experiences with safe, trusted adults is a very good strategy to obtain help. While involvement from others can seem threatening or scary to some (perhaps your sister feels this way?), it is unlikely that your situation at home will change unless you are able to involve others. Talking about what you are going through is a very important part of this.

You stated that you might kill yourself if your situation does not change. This is understandable that you would feel this way, but please consider reaching out for help if you continue to consider suicide as an option for escaping your situation. The National Suicide Hotline might be a good option, and you can call them at 800-273-8255. There is still hope, although it can feel very difficult sometimes.

We appreciate you reaching out, and wish you the very best of luck in your situation.

[Guest]

how can i get out at 16? i cannot affort to support myself or qualify for emancipation. my mom is an alcholic and my dad is physically abusive to me and my brother who is 17. my mom goes days ignoring us and when she does talk to us its just to put us down and point out everything wrong with us. she's to desparate for attention to kick my dad out leaving us in a toxic emotionally abusive. how do we get out?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us at home. It sounds like you have been feeling uncared for and not safe at home because of the way your parents have been treating you. It seems you have been under immense stress and pain at home and not able to get the support that you deserve. It is understandable you would want to explore some options for leaving.

The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents' permission. We know that this can be very challenging, so maybe there is a family member, counselor, or other trusted adult who can advocate for your needs. You already mentioned that you would not qualify for emancipation since you are not able to financially support yourself. The other option would be to go through child protective services especially if you feel your safety is a concern. Child Help is an organization that provides support to youth in dangerous or unhealthy living situations. You can speak with a counselor to learn more about the reporting process and how CPS might be able to intervene in your situation, 1-800-422-4453; childhelp.org.

We want you to know that we are here to listen and help as much as possible as you navigate this challenging situation. If you would like to talk more and explore your possible option, you can reach out anytime by phone or through live chat. 1-800-RUNAWAY; 1800runaway.org.

Stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

im 16 gonna be 17 in four months i don't wanna live with my parents anymore my sister moved out a long time ago and she doesn't want me to live with her both my parents are emotionally abusive i hate them both i sometimes love them i honestly think they would be happier with me not in there lives

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can.

Now we aren't legal experts here and you might have already read on this forum thread about what could happen if you were to leave home before the age of majority. So we won’t get into that since you can find it fairly easily. They might not spend too much resources and time trying to locate you in order to bring you back home. We haven't heard of anyone being dragged away by the police. From what we hear is that they have a conversation with you to figure out what is going on, but like we said we can't say for sure that is how even officer is going to respond.

If you have a specific question that you can't find the answer to on any of these threads or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now, you can always call us. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. We can also talk to you about the possibility to report any abuse that you might be facing at home.

Best of luck!

[Guest]

I Want to live with my aunt in Arizona or I want emancipate I don’t have money for a lawyer but I can get money to fly to Arizona I don’t want to in Virginia my family turned on me and I got my dad but I don’t want to live alone because I don’t feel like I can be myself around him

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to move away so badly. My dad already made me move to Colorado November 2020. I started a new life and forget about everything in my past. Then my grandma went crazy and threatened me so I had to move back. Nothing has changed. I’m expected to keep my emotions bottled up so I don’t anger others. I’m expected to be everybody’s best friend when they turn around and talk bad about me. Not only that, My stepmom acts like a child. She wants us kids to fist fight each other and our bio mom, she encourages it. My stepsister Chloe constantly talks bad about me. Right when I think we can be cool i here from one of my siblings that she was mad that I was crying. “Why does she always have to be **********y what is her problem.” But yet I can tell anyone how I feel because I’m having an “outburst.” I can’t stand living here anymore ,I’m sorry but I can’t. This place brings back so many horrible memories and it’s traumatizing.

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, we are here to help as best we can. It sounds like things have been overwhelming at home, and there’s a few different factors to it. You mention wanting to leave home. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents’ permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

You should be able to feel safe and comfortable in your own home. Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

hi,
I am 16 years old and I have been having some issues with my home life for several years now.
My parents have always had very strict parenting tactics and i feel that this has really impacted my life in a negative way. today I got in a very heated fight with my mom about me wanting to pull and all-nighter to do AP classes homework. my mom found my dad having an affair in the fall of 2020 and my mother, having no job, 4 kids(one of which is special needs) and a limited social group, our situation as a family has been very difficult. for the past 2 years I have felt the need that i need independence and responsibility to be emotionally stable and that i just need to get out. I have looked into a lot of foreign exchange student programs but due to financial situation and emotional tension I need to get out sooner. Today my mother told me that if i do not like her parenting, i should just go live with my father. I cannot do this because my father has never shown me any form of affection, and is emotionally abusive. she knows that because of the trauma induced by our relationship this is not an option. he sees me once every 10 days for three hours, and in this time i am shaking and have overwhelming anxiety. I am in a tough situation in terms of emancipation as my mother will not allow me to obtain a source of income, and having just moved due to the divorce i have no friends. I also have no family because everyone on my fathers side sees a lot of my mother in me and takes out their anger on me. i nor my mother is in touch with her familiy nor has she been for 20+ years. I have no place to go but i cannot continue to live in such a toxic cycle. I need help to show that i am eligible for getting emancipation and finding a safe place for me to live. I have been through an outrageous amount of trauma in the past year ( more than was mentioned) and i really just need to be stable and working towards healthy. thank you for your help

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and her to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.
It sounds like your environment at home and your family dynamics has really affected your life and we are sorry you are having to deal with all of that. You mentioned going through abuse, and you do not deserve that at all. You do have the right to file an abuse report and there are a few ways to go about doing that. One option would be to speak with a trusted adult or school counselor and they would be able to file an abuse on your behalf. Another option would be to contact Child Help at: 1800-422-4453 and they can help with making an abuse report. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us 24/7 and we would be able to help with making a report.
You may want to consider talking with a school counselor about wanting to become emancipated. They may be able to help you navigate the process and provide support to you during this difficult time. You can also call us and we can provide legal aid resources and help provide safe places you may be able to go too.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call or chat with us. We are available to help and provide support 24/7. Stay strong!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I just turned 16 and I was told at age 16 you can choose where u want to live if ur adopted I have a hard life for 14 years what is the process to live somewhere else

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you may wish to leave the environment you have been living in. We hear you when you say that things have been hard for the past 14 years, and we are terribly sorry to hear this and hope to provide support for you in whichever way we can during this time. Please know that we unfortunately are not law experts, but it is to our general knowledge that an individual is not recognized as a legal adult until the age of 18. However, we can certainly talk more about the situation with you and gather further information to explore which resources may be of best assistance for you during this time. Please feel welcome to reach out through our online chat, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Wishing you all the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 16 and I want to run away. My mom is a drunk and she doesn’t know how to control it… it’s like I’m her punching bag.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that the situation at home has been so volatile. It is not ok for anyone to make you feel unsafe at home. It sounds like you are interested in running away and are exploring your options. We cannot tell you what to do, but we can share information that might help you figure out your next steps.

You deserve to live in a space where you feel safe. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Please feel free to reach out to us if you would like to talk.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. To reach us by phone, you can call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or by chat through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,

NRS