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Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

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  • #46
    Im turning 16 in a week i dont want to live with my mom i dont want her to have custody but i dont want to get emancipation because i think it will be hard for me . My mom has been messing with me for 6 years now with moving having kids and boyfriends and she is really bipolar i know that i cant just diagnose someone with that but i feel that she is and she is very explosive and always thinks she’s correct. I dont have a father in my life but my family has been close to this person who is like a father to me and has been in my life since i was born and i want to live with him hes not blood related but has been in the family for more than 20 years . I’ve been to therapy for 2 years from 12 -14 and i have been going to therapy again its been 6 months now and i told her everything she wants to work things out with my mom first instead of putting out an emotional abuse report i dont want to live with my mom and i dont know what to do can somebody please help me .

    Comment


    • ccsmod12
      ccsmod12 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It takes a lot of courage.

      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mother and that your therapist wants to try to work it out before filing a report. Please know that you have a right to report abuse. You by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Emotional abuse is sometimes harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process.

      If you feel like reporting is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453) is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

      You also mentioned that your mom may be bipolar. Another resource that might be of help is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Their website is https://www.nami.org/. They are a resource specifically for family members of people who have mental illness.

      It sounds like you are also wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, emancipation, which it sounds like you’ve looked into and have found may not be a good fit. We would be happy, though, if you decide to look into it further, to provide legal resources.

      If you'd like to talk in more detail about your situation or have any questions please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). We’re here to listen and here to help in whatever way we can. We hope to hear from you soon. Best, NRS

  • #47
    i need help please

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there -

      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse.

      We certainly want to help you. You can reach out to us via phone or chat, we are here 24 hours a day.

      Hope to hear from you soon!
      Last edited by ccsmod8; 07-10-2019, 08:30 AM.

  • #48
    hey i am 15 going to be 16 20.07 im originally from jamaica but I've been living in germany for the last1 year and 7 months im in a gymnasium I've worked so hard to get here an to learn german my dad dose not wants me to have friends i can't even go to school without him getting angry yesterday he hit me my step mom was here and she say he told me to pack my things because he is sending me back to jamaica i don't want to go back i have no future there please please help me im sacred i know people who would take me in here but he say no he wants me to suffer yesterday i took so many pills because of how disrespectful he was to me he called me a hore he told me im not his child etc.... please help me he told me he booked a flight for the 4/5 of august its july now pleaseeeeeee

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Your situation with your dad seems immensely painful and difficult. It sounds like he is being unfair and unnecessarily hurtful towards you and that is not okay. Unfortunately, we are a service whose resources and information are centered around the United States, so we would not be familiar with the kind of support you might have access to in Germany. There is a youth crisis hotline in Germany, though and they may be able to help you. You can reach them at: https://www.nummergegenkummer.de/.

      Thank you and best of luck,
      NRS

  • #49
    I'm 13 and I want to live somewhere else.

    Although I might be young, I hate my life with Mom and dad, they are broken up, but the problem is I've been going through a crazy situation, my dad said he would change for me and I believe he has but somehtings stopping me from going back and at my mom's I feel safe but I'm still in this uncomfortable situation and I just need to get away, my dad wants to go back to week on and week off with my parents but I don't want to live with him, and I have to him before, even after he has fixed himself, I just don't want to, I had so much stress with the week on and week off thing, I don't want to go back to that, I currently was spending most of the time with my mom bc my dad was fixing himself, but I'm thinking about my mom's house and they have been very supportive with everything, but it feels toxic, I either need to live with my mom fully or live somewhere else, to just have a normal life. I have taken signs of depression and havePTSD but not been diagnosed.
    I need to live somewhere or atleast a place to get away just for me to recover from this stress and craziness with my parents

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #50
    So I’ve been living with my mom for 16 years now but I’m tired of being the one she lashed out on when something goes wrong and I have 3 younger siblings so I’m basically a built in babysitter and house cleaner while she’s goes and ********s her baby daddy’s

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #51
    Im 16 and I dont feel safe at home...and where I thought it'll be okay to go, I don’t want to be there anymore either.


    I love my mother. Shes the most beautiful and the most strongest person. But she is letting what all that happened in the past come back. She’s already in pain by all the she went through as a child but when she met my dad and all that happened between them, sealed the deal. It is honestly a lot to even go through but I have realized that my mom has been manipulating me for the past few years. I haven’t seen this until I told my father’s fiancé. She and my mother has gone through similar things in their childhood but it’s funny how one won’t even bother to be friendly. But mainly at this point, its gotten to where;

    My mother won’t let me do ANYTHING until I turn 18 (meaning I can’t do whatever I would like outside of the house)

    I can’t see my father anymore.

    I can’t speak to my father anymore.

    I don’t want to be stuck here. And I wanted to go live with my dad but after the clash that has happened, I feel I wouldn’t like there as much as I thought I would. But it still seems to be place with the safest mindset. All I want to be free away from all the adults around me at the moment and just have time to myself. I want to be with my own age group. My boyfriend, my best friend...

    My best friend has offered me to stay with her for the time being. Should I go? I want to be with my boyfriend as well but he’s not doing to well either. He’s been around long enough to understand and physically witness what I’m going through. He was in the same situation with his mother and he left her for his own safety. Tho he’s 18, he hasn't got the best luck so I can’t bother him. I don’t know what to do.

    My mother is just now telling me I need to decide what I’m going to do...because she’s done with me and everything I bring.


    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do as we cannot tell you what to do, it is your choice to make. At the beginning of your post you said that you don't feel safe at home - if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home and your mom does not give you prior approval, she can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. Additionally, if you go to staywith someone without your mom's permission, the adult in the household could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties for harboring a runaway vary from state to state, police officer to officer, and how your mom views the situation.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #52
    I’m 16 and my sister is trying to kick me out and I want to move with my friend because I don’t know what will happen to me if I get kicked out and I’m in New York and I don’t think she been to court to get custody or anything but I lived with her and her husband for 3 years are they able to kick me out

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress right now because of your sister. It is not okay for her to suddenly kick you out whether or not she has legal custody. We are not sure exactly what the situation is regarding who has legal guardianship of you, but you do have a right to live somewhere safe and be taken care. If your sister does kick you out you have the option of calling child protective services. A caseworker can help you navigate this situation and find alternative placement in foster care or a group home if necessary. You can contact the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or http://www.childhelp.org/hotline/ for more information and support.

      We are available 24/7 to help by phone (1-800-786-2929) and online chat services (1800runaway.org). We want to help you figure out your next steps and explore possible options with you. You do not have to go through this alone. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

      -NRS

  • #53
    Hey I’m 15, turning 16 in feb. my parents are split, dad not on birth certificate due to my mom. I’m our previous state she has a warrant for her arrest due to a similar situation almost a year ago. I am quite sick of being screamed at and blamed for things that go on in my house daily. Daily she breaks something, and or screams at someone no matter the situation. Today, I was watching my 4 year old sister while my mom was upstairs working or something I’m not sure. I saw one of the cats walk in and thought nothing of it and said “don’t mess with the cat I’ll be right back”. I went into the kitchen to look for something to eat and I heard her crying. I walked back to the room and saw she has been scratched by the cat. My sister is known for not being that nice to animals. Mom comes running down and gets mad at me saying the cat shouldn’t be in my room instead of repemending my sister to not bother the cat. She goes upstairs with my sister and I follow behind to make sure she’s okay. I go back downstairs after I think everything is fine and I don’t hear my sister say “sissy”. My mom then screams at the top of her lungs and then goes on a rant about how I don’t care for the family and how “I can’t be nice to anyone and I just care about boys” now she has said this many many times throughout my life. Honestly it’s amusing to me how we can be perfectly fine and then boom. She turns a switch and it’s immediate. Anyways, she went on and on about it so I went into Hannah’s room, who is part of the other family that lives with us. I was only in there for about 3 minutes and my mom bangs on the door and starts screaming at me saying it’s my fault that happened to my sister. I couldn’t get a word out because she kept interupting me and screaming over me. I kept saying “am I not allowed to go get food” and she finally stopped and I repeated it yet again. She then screamed no at me so I just scoffed and realized I’m done with her ********. I need to get out of this situation and my best bet is moving in with my bfs family but the problem is they are in Canada, I’m in the US, and I’m not 16 yet. I was really wondering is there any possible way that I can try and take action to move in with them or possibly on my own. I am in Nevada and my dad is in Virginia. I don’t know how this is going to work.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit of your story with us. It seems like you are going through a really difficult time right now.
      We are not legal experts but because you are a minor even at 16 if you were to leave home your parents do have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely will bring you back home. Also whoever you stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway which usually consists of a fine or a misdemeanor
      There are some options you could consider. One option you could try would be to speak to a school counselor about what is going on sometimes they would be able to provide you with resources. Another option to consider is emancipation. Emancipation would grant you adult rights before turning 18. To find out more about emancipation you could call your local court house or give us a call for free legal aid numbers.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to help. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • #54
    So I'm 16 and want to move in with my 17 year old boyfriend who will so be 18 and in his own apartment near my work and school I want to know if it's possible for me to move out even if my parents don't like it

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. You asked a really great question. In general, your parents get to decide where you live until you turn the age of majority (18 in most states). If you were to leave without permission, they could report you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal and you would not be arrested, but police would likely return you home. You know your situation best and when leaving is going to be the right move for you. We are here 24/7 to be a support for you while you navigate this situation.

      Please reach out anytime by phone (800-786-2929) or use our online chat services if you would like to talk more about your situation.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #55
    I’m 16 and I wanna Live my grandpa but my mom won’t let me leave she took my bedroom door and I’ve lived with my grandpa the last 6 years and I want to leave bc she never listens and when I defend myself at school I get grounded

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Safe Place. It sounds like you are having difficult time at home and would like to change your living situation. Know that you deserve to feel safe and loved where you live.

      You mentioned wanting to live with your grandpa instead of your mom. Because you are a minor, leaving home without your guardian’s permission could result in you getting sent back home and your grandpa potentially getting charged with harboring a runaway. However, we are not legal experts and rules vary depending on the situation and location. One way to gauge your rights is to reach out to the local, non-emergency police line with hypothetical and anonymous questions. Another option we offer is a conference call. To hold a conference call, you would reach out to us and we would call your mom and hold a three-way discussion between you and your mom. We would moderate the call to make sure it would be productive and respectful. Additionally, anything you tell us without your mom on the line is kept confidential.

      We are here 24/7 to talk if you would like to reach out to us. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and it is toll-free and confidential. We are here to listen and on a call, we would be able to explore more options specific to you and your family.

      Stay strong,
      NRS

  • #56
    im 15 (16 next month) and i really want to move out of my house with my boyfriend (we are in a long distance relationship) or a friend because my parents are kind of abusive like they hit me sometimes if i do something wrong or not their way and they are always pinning things on me even though it wasn’t me and they know it and my mum just like makes me feel like I’m not a part of the family, like I think around three times my mum said to me that she wishes she never had me and that i am a disappointment to the family and that if im going to be living with them i will need to pay the pills or they will kick me out and I’ll be homeless and she wouldn’t care or anything. I have also talked to some of my other family about this but they don’t believe me or they wont want to do anything because they will get into trouble with my parents, so like I don’t know what to do anymore because I have talked to many people and nothing no one cares or they don’t believe me so yeah I don’t know what to do like there is so much more stuff that has happened and its just so hard for me to deal with?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us we understand how difficult it can be to openly talk about things that have been going on. It sounds like the situation your in can be frustrating, especially after having talked to so many others and not gotten much help, we want to be able to support you in the best way we can. It’s important that you know that you do not deserve to be treated this way for any reason. You mentioned abuse going on at home, including physical abuse, Child Help could be a something you may be interested in. Child Help is the National Child Abuse Hotline, you may feel comfortable talking to them about filing a report or talking about what’s going on if you don’t feel comfortable making a report yet, you can reach them at 1-800-422-4453 or through a live chat at www.childhelp.org. We know it can be uncomfortable talking about abuse, so you may only disclose what you’re comfortable with. In regards to leaving your home, you do have a few options if you decided you could no longer stay there. We are not here to tell you what to do or force anything upon you, although we would not advise towards going to your boyfriends house if this will be the first time you meet him. It may be safer to meet him once you have a stable place to stay so that you don’t leave far from friends and family if anything doesn’t go according to plan. You should also know that running away is not a crime, you will not get into legal trouble because of running away although if you do stay with friends they could potentially get charged for harboring a runaway. Although this is not common we feel it is something you should be aware of. If you decide to try out a shelter instead (or a transitional living program possibly once your 16) please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. That way we can find things specifically close to your city and state. Again, we recognize the difficulty of reaching out and thank you for choosing to contact us. We wish you the best of luck!
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