Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your boyfriend and his mom or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. Other options would be to look into emancipation or you could report the neglect. You could reach out to Child help at 1-800-422-4453 to ask about reporting neglect and inquire about your rights as a minor within your situation. You also could call into us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 to get general information about emancipation and possible legal aid services.

A liner could also help you walk through other options you may have or to identify possible adults that could advocate for you and support you. Let us know how we can best help.

NRS

[Guest]

My dad died and my mom is in the mental institution. I’m staying with my aunt and uncle I’m 15. My aunt doesn’t speak English only Chinese and my uncle is really religious. He won’t let me do anything and gave me a bedtime and everything. I have a hard enough time without dealing with him. What should I do?

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS we know it can difficult to seek out help and try to find options before making any kind of decision. Our hope is to help in any capacity we can.
From what you have told us it seem like you have had some trouble with your guardians. We are sorry that you feel trapped since your uncle is very religious. Unfortunately we cannot tell you to do something however we can give you options and from there you can make an assessment of what is best for you. Some options you have are to maybe talk to someone outside your immediate family or perhaps school personnel. They would be able to start a conversation with you and your aunt and uncle about what is happening at home. Another option you might have is calling us here at NRS we can do a conference call with you and your guardians.
Again we know that it took bravery to reach out and seek help. Know that we are here 24/7 and we are confidential so if you have any more questions or concerns you want to run by us feel free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) using our chat option.

[Guest]

im 16 and i hate where im living. i love my mom sooo much but lately i feel like she doesnt love me anymore. she found some jewelry in my bag and turned me in to the cops, had to spend the night in jail and now i trial soon. But i want to leave, i want to go to a foster home or something, anything but here....please help.

[ccsmod5]

Thank you so much for reaching out. You must be very scared and frustrated to be considering leaving home like this.

We can help you look into shelters or foster services if you can share with us where you are. However, it sounds like you love your mother very much and you're worried she doesn't love you anymore because you got in trouble for the jewelry in your bag. Have you considered talking to her before leaving?

We have a few other options we can offer. If emotions are running too high we can help moderate a conversation between you and your mother if you call our phone line. Another option would be to seek out a counselor. They could help you both communicate better without necessarily leaving home as the first step. If you are interested in any of the above options, we are open 24 hours a day 7 days a week and we are confidential, so feel free to call any time and we can help put you in touch with some of these options.

Thank you again for reaching out, and we wish you luck.

[Guest]

I can’t live with my parents anymore.
I’m 16, 17 in two months. All my parents do is fight. My mom is bipolar and is emotionally abusive. My dad has been in and out of jail his whole life, and he recently just got back from being in there because he strangled my mom and almost killed her. I was the one that made the 911 call. My mom still hasn’t forgave me for saving her life and calling the police. My crazy mom is of course back with him and he lives under my roof now. All he does is drink he put everyone down. Him and my mom still fight physically. My dad is technically not aloud to live here but my mom allows him too. I’m so terrified of him when he’s drunk. I have a dog too she’s only a year and couple months, he threatens everyday he’s going to hurt her so when he comes home at night I lock myself in my room with her. I thought about calling the police again many times, but it still wouldn’t help me because even if they take my dad away my mom will never forgive me and as soon as he gets out it will all happen again. It’s happened many times and even my older sisters that no longer live with me anymore went through the same thing. But the difference is they had each other because they’re only a year apart, and all I have is a dog that is as scared as me. My parents put me down every chance they get. Sometimes there used to be okay days but they’re long gone. Sometimes I just want to die because of all of the things they say to me. My friends have witnessed things many times. My one friend and her mother offered to go through every legal battle there is to get me out and I can stay with them. But I have no idea where to start. I need help, please.

[ccsmod6]

Hey,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your living situation currently is unsustainable and it makes sense for you to feel like you need to leave the toxic environment that you are in. Your own mental/physical health and safety should be a priority! People should not have to live in fear of violence in their own homes or anywhere. Something to consider might be contacting the National Child Abuse Hotline to learn more about the reporting process and what outcomes might look like should you decide to report. They are reachable at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org.

In terms of trying to begin the process of getting out, it’s great that you have supportive friends that would be willing to take you in. Running away as a minor, your parents are entitled to file a runaway report. Should they decide to, if you encountered the police, they would most likely take you home and notify your parents. Additionally, if your parents had a runaway report out on you, they could be entitled to press charges against whoever is hosting you for harboring a runaway, which is generally considered a misdemeanor offense. However, in some states, police do not take runaway reports on persons 17 years old due to how close they are to adulthood, so depending on where you are that might be more feasible. Another thing to consider might be the danger of your current living situation. It could be a good idea to consider reporting to establish a record of how unsafe it is to remain at your current residence which could help if your parents try to legally force you back home. Given the history of your household, that might already be somewhat established. Of course, your safety is the #1 priority and if you feel immediate danger please call 911 and try to get to a safe place like your friend’s house.
You also mentioned struggling with suicidal thoughts. It is understandable for you to feel so poorly given the lack of supportive people in your home life as well as the constant stress of your situation, but your life is worth living. You mentioned okay days in the past and even though things look very grim right now, they do exist and could in the future. If you feel like a danger to yourself or if you just need someone to talk to, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Additionally, if you are in a position where you think counseling or therapy could be helpful for your mental health, the National Alliance on Mental Illness is a good tool for finding local resources that can assist with that.

If you have any other concerns or questions or would like clarification regarding what we’ve talked about in this email, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

We hope to hear from you soon and take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 16 and wanna move away from my mom n dad we have no house we stay from house to house what do i have to do to move away i turn 17 in march and cant wait thag long

[ccsmod2]

: Hi,

Sorry to hear that that sounds really tough bouncing around from house to house. There are a few different options you could explore if you wanted to live somewhere else. There is a website called the Homeless Shelter Directory they have resources for temporary living. Their website is www.homelessshelter.org.

There is a different resource called TransitionalHousing.org. Transitional housing programs have the option for longer term stays so that youth can get more established with resources such as job searching help and some offer help with skills such as interviewing and in helping find housing that would be a longer term solution.

There is also the option of foster care if that is something that you would like to explore in the meantime. We’d be happy to provide more local options if you’d like to call in our phone number is 800-RUNAWAY. Thanks for reaching out we’re here to help 24/7 please feel to reach out any time.
Thanks,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm turning 16 next month and i really don't know what to do i started leaving with my mom whem i was 12 but it's like I'm always the useless child my mom always make me feel I'm never going to be perfect she treats me like the house survent and dhe always complain about how i do everything wrong she hits me when she fights with my sister I'm supper depressed my grades has dropped from like an A and B to a D and F i don't even know what I'm leaving for i once run away form home when i was 14 because of a fight with my sister but nothing happened i actually leaved with my my fir 6 month when i was 8 and was abused by my big sister she would hit me with a belt naked cut all of her cloth and made it look like i did it and make me hold a knife and out side to make it look like i scared her with a knife and kicked her out of the house made me go outside in the snow to make our mother not go to work then my mother would hit me a lot sometimes when i scream she put a cloth in my mouth and hit me and more well a lot happened and she send me out of us to my dad then he left me with his my i didn't see him for like 4 or 5 year and my grandma raised because my mom was in America i never felt like she really cared about and we fighted a lot untill my dad came cause my mom wanted to bring me here he started to act like the caring dad but he was marr and had 2 kids i went along with his fatherly play and come here and this s*** with my mom is happening he called and started telling me to study hard and take his kids to the US every weekend when the pressure was to much i blocked him and one day when i talked to my grandma she said " we s
told you to go go like a dog is because we care about you" i said okay and now my mom wants to send me back to that place if i don't listen to her. her father came from that place were i used to live and she kicked me out of my room and i started sleeping in the floor in my sisters room now my sister didn't like that so she asked me to sleep with her dad and of course I said no and we are fighting i really want to leave home as soon as possible but if she forces me to live for my grandma I'm like leaving but i don't want it to like last time so like please tell me what to do my mind is about to explode and I'm to cowered to do anything

[ccsmod7]

Reaching out to NRS took a lot of strength. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot, but you have been trying your best in your current circumstances. Physical harm by your family is not okay and you deserve to live somewhere you feel safe.

Having a strong support system can be important during stressful situations. You could try reaching out to friends, other family members, or any adults that you trust for support. There may be someone who would be willing to take you in if your parents or grandma gave you permission. If you are currently in the United States you could call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 if you were considering filing an abuse report and you can always reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. If you feel like your safety is being threatened you can always call 911 for emergency services. You can reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-877-726-4727 if you feel like talking to a counselor would be helpful.

If you are outside of the United States you can go to https://www.childhelplineinternation...lpline-network to find a resource in your area.

Thank you again for reaching out to NRS!

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I don’t wanna live with my parents they don’t talk to me or anything cuz I have chosen my boyfriend over my family and I wanna leave my house I wanna be in a foster home or group home but where do I begin I don’t wanna go to court

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I’m 14 and I don’t wanna live with my parents

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. We understand that not having communication with your parent’s has become frustrating.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It might be helpful if we learned a little more about your situation. We are here to listen and here to help. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I am 15 i will be 16 in a few months i live in iowa i want to go back to texas for football and better education and better home but my grandma wont let me when i turn 16 will she have a say in if i can go or not

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you for reaching out to us here on our public form at National Runaway Safeline. Hopefully by helping you out in your situation, there are others reading through this thread that are going through a similar situation can get help.

So as you have probably read in other post or other threads here, you aren’t able to make discussion on your own if you are still under the age of 18. Once you reach the age of majority you are able to move, rent your own place, and go to whatever school you want to go to. Since it sounds like your grandmother is your legal guardian and has say to where you live and go to school. Being 15 going on 16 years old, doesn’t give you any rights to leave without permission.

It sounds like football is a really big part of your life and you want to explore that option more. It might be helpful to look into different football focused scholarships, out of state programs/training, neighborhood youth teams, or even clubs that you can join around to build up your skills and talents. That way you can show your grandmother or anyone in your life that this is something you are serious about pursuing long term. That way you might not have to “runaway” from home.

We hope that this response was helpful! Feel free to call us and any time if you have further questions.

[Guest]

I am 15 about to turn 16 in a couple of months, my parents are split and i live with my dad in florida, i recently visited my uncle in key west and i want to go live with him instead of living with my dad. I don't feel safe when my dad gets angry about the stupid ********, he has hit me in the past and i dont want that to happen again. What do i need to do to go live with my uncle and aunt, they said that they would let me live with them and would take me in. So what do i need to do in order for this to happen?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i am struggling at home . i am 16 years old . i need anouther option. please help me

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are sorry to hear that you are struggling at home, sounds like a frustrating situation. We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. Because you are a minor in most states if you left without your parents’ permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. We cannot give out shelter information over forums, but if you call or chat with us we can give you shelter resources. Another option could be to talk with your school counselor about what is going on, sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better. Also you could consider doing hobbies that you enjoy, sometimes that will distract us from what is making us feel upset.
We hope this information was helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

im 15 1/2 , i’ll be 16 late october . i’ve been wanting to not live with my parents since i was 11 . every since i could remember i’ve had issues with my parents . i’ve watched my parents yell at each other & fist fight with each other multiple times . ever since i was little i had went back & forth from 6 different schools , i had to live with my grandparents because they didn’t want me & my brothers around my parents for 4 years . we were once homeless because they can’t keep up with bills , were always barley living . i’ve always felt for so long because of my parents that no matter what i do i do everything wrong , everything i do always seems to be an issue for them . i try so hard to keep my head strong , i used to be depressed because of them , i was so self conscious of myself until recently in my life . i try so hard to cope with everything but i serious want to move out . my boyfriends mom already had told me she’d love for me to come live with them & honestly i’d really love to . i feel so much more positive living there , i dont hate my parents at all i just want a way better environment for me to live in . i want to be able to visit whenever i want but live with my boyfriend & in which i can feel happier every single day , i can learn more , continue with my school instead of constantly moving , work on myself learning more life skills for when i’m older , & just say out of an environment that i feel that im not cared or cared about as a person . i feel less than an animal in their eyes & i completely hate it , i don’t want my brothers to get sent to a foster care so i’m not taking it to court . i wish my parents would just let me go so i can go do what i want happily . i just wish i was 16 already .

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 and I am tired of the emotional neglect I receive everyday from my parents because I am a lesbian. I am a women who likes to dress in men clothes and my parents look at it as disgusting. I get name called, mentally abused, picked on every day, and forced to wear things I don’t feel comfortable wearing.. I want to know if I can live somewhere else if they kick me out the houses I’ve been depressed for 5 years ever since it started happening... ever since I came out my life went downhill I don’t want to be in this house anymore... it’s so sad here

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 16 I live in a one bed on a cot in the living room of my dads one bed 5 days of the week 2 I’m at my mom where she gets drunk screams at me and threatens me. After she chased me down the street in her car iv decided I’m don’t with ALL of it and I need to move out. Iv been icolated and I don’t have to many close friends to run to and I’m about to lose my job. Any words of advice

[ccsmod11]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like things at home have been difficult for you and possible abusive. One option would be to report your mother for trying to run you over to the police, or child protective services at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. You can also reach out to someone at your school like a trusted teacher our counselor about what you’re going through.

You also mentioned you are looking for a safe place to go. You can visit https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/ and see if there is a youth shelter in your area. You also mentioned being worried about your job. Job Corps is a program designed to help people in your situation. You can visit their website at https://www.jobcorps.gov/ and apply for jobs through them.

Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. We can however help you go over options and figure out what is best for you in your situation. Please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) where we would be able to talk to you about your plan. Good luck and stay safe.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

I'm 16 and I want to move out of my legal mothers house because she is always making me feel bad and I hate it every day I wake up she yells at me this has been going on for 3 years and I'm scared that she might hurt me if I try to leave to go live with my dad and stepmom. What should I do? should I just move out with out her consent or tell her I'm moving out and risk my life someone help me plz

[ccsmod3]

It sounds like you’re in a difficult situation and it’s brave of you to reach out. You deserve to be safe where you live.
If you feel you’ve been verbally abused, you may want to consider filing an abuse report. You can contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 to do that or contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. An abuse report on file can help your case if you decide to run away.
To answer your question, we are not legal experts, but we can offer some options to the best of our knowledge. Typically, running away is not considered a crime, but a “status offense.” This means if law enforcement were to find you, they’d return you to your home. If you aren’t safe at home, they would contact Child Protective Services to help you find a safe living arrangement. This is where that abuse report could be helpful if you choose to do that.
Something to consider is your custody situation with your dad. It is possible that your dad could get in trouble for holding you if he does not have custody. From a legal standpoint, it’s best for you if he has custody. However, that can take time and the courts may not award him custody if they don’t feel he is the best caretaker for you.
Another option to consider is living with a family friend or relative that your mom trusts. If your mom was willing to give you permission to stay there, and they were willing to take you in, that would be considered a legal arrangement.
If you do decide to run away, it sounds like you’d still have a lot of safety considerations with your mom. It might be helpful to make a strong safety plan. If that’s something you think you’ll want to do, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat online with us at 1800runaway.org. We’d be happy to help you make a plan, find resources, or even just to listen if you wanted to talk. We are here 24/7 and we wish you the best as you make these difficult decisions.