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  • Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

    Im 16 years old (seventeen in a few months) and I want to move in with my boyfriend. Ive been with him for a long time and I love him very much but that's not the reason, at home me and my family are always arguing, I love my sisters dearly and I adore my parents but my mom sometimes reacts very wrong and my father is very rude to me (emotionally abusive) and has laid his hands on me once or twice. I talked to my mom about staying with my boyfriend for a while (maybe having a schedule - weekends with my family and weekdays at my boyfriends house with his?) and she got very mad but said that she doesn't care. My father told me he wants me out of the house but whenever I say I actually want to leave he explodes and says he owns me until im 18. I don't want to abandon my family or leave forever but I need a good environment because I have my own problems and I need to worry about myself sometimes and have a break from my home. I don't want to run away, that would hurt my sisters. But I don't know what to do and how to get consent to stat with my boyfriend and his family at times.

  • #2
    RE: Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

    Hello there –

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board. From your post, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now at home and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that has been going on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need. It can be very frustrating to not really get a straight answer from your parents on whether or not you can leave to live with your boyfriend. Hopefully we can help you come up with some ideas on what your next step might be.

    It seems like you have been looking around for some answers to your questions about moving out when your 16 to live with your current boyfriend. Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. Since you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states), what generally happens; your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home.

    Your parents may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your current boyfriend), but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again while 16 years old. If you were to leave home and live with your current boyfriend, think about what your parent’s might do in that situation. Either give you permission or file a runaway report. Another thing to think about is how long do you think that you would be able to stay with your current boyfriend and his family? Have you thought about some situations where you might be faced with having to leave (i.e break-up, parents decided that can’t support you, have a fight, etc.)?

    If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Leaving when i turn 16

      So me and my dad aint going through a really good patch right now and i wanna live with my friend and her mom and dad. The reason that i wanna live with them is cause my dad has gotten drunk and almost hit me and then he has gotten mad and yelled alot. I am terried of my dad and idk what i should do and i really want to live with my friend and her mom.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: Leaving when i turn 16

        Hey there,

        Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you have been going through a pretty tough time. We want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can. From what you shared, it seems like you are having some troubles with your dad and are feeling unsafe. We are glad we are a resource that comes to mind in this time of crisis.

        We want to start off by letting you know that we are not legal experts here, which means that we are only able to speak in general terms. In most states, if you are a minor, in order to leave home you would need parental consent. If you were to leave without parental consent, your parents would be able to file a runaway report. If one was filed and you were found, typically you would be forced to return home. As we mentioned, we are not legal experts here, if you would like more accurate answers we would encourage you to reach out to your local police department and ask further questions.

        We hope that we were able to help you think a little more about your options and brainstorm some more with you, if you feel like you would still need some more support or go through some more options, please feel free to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we are here 24/7. We also have a live chat service which is available from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do and hope to hear from you soon.


        Stay strong,


        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I want to leave home soon as I can

          I'm 15 and hate home. I might not be in an abusive household and I know others have it way worse than me but I can't stand it here to the point I'll do anything not to go home. My biggest problem is my dad, he make me feel like s*** constantly, a waste of space, unloved, useless, crap kid, unconfident, self conscious, the lot. It's been going on for about 3 maybe 4 years now and each year my confidence goes down and down. I'm at that point where I don't care if he is my dad, related and all that, I don't like him. I've always loved my mom, I still do, but lately I feel I'm a failure to her because she always makes me feel guilty and nothing I do is good enough. Even when I try my hardest with my parents (especially my mom) i get nothing out of it, no praise, no nothing, like I said, useless in everyday aren't I. I want to live on my own when I'm 16 or if possible now, I know it would upset my mother and my dad would never let me get a word in edge ways about 'why' because all he cares about is himself and his opinion because he always has to be right. But I feel that much hate for my home that I want to leave. If I lived on my own I'd have my freedom, I'd be sensible and I'd be so much happier, smile more, be less of a moody b***, I wouldn't be lonely, I'd have the time of my life and I'd look after myself. I don't know if there's any advice you could give me but if you could that would be great, thank you

          Comment


          • #6
            re: I want to leave home as soon as I can

            Hey there,

            You seem like you are pretty overwhelmed and want to get out on your own. There was quite a bit that you shared so it is understandable that you want to vent. We can't really give you advice or tips on how to run away. But we can give you some general information and things to think about.

            In general, being under 18 you would be considered a minor in most states. So if your family files a runaway report for you there is potential that you would be taken back home if you come in contact with the police. They may also actively look for you, if they are aware of your location. Also, there is a chance that if you are staying with another adult, that they could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. The consequences for that can range from fines, to jail time. If you are considering running away, you may want to consider how you would survive if you left. It is also a good idea to think of a backup plan in case your initial plans don’t work out.

            It sounds like you are going through a lot at home with your family situation, and you're really trying to make things work. If you do need to vent you can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their number is 1-800-273-8255 and they are also available via chat on their website www.suicidepreventionlife.org.

            For further support, you are welcome to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

            Take care,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I can't handle living with my family.

              I'm 16. Recently, I have found out that my mom hates my dad. He had an alleged affair for six years. He denies it. I'm caught in the middle; both parents tell me different things. My dad cries. My mom cries. My mom takes white pills hat make her sleep all the time. She sleeps all day. My dad goes to work. My sister goes to school. I stay home (I'm on medical leave, I'm not skipping). For the past few days, I've been managing the house. I cook for my dad and my sister (my mom isn't eating). I clean up a little. I take care of the pets. My dad helps when he is home. He does dishes and laundry and walks the dogs. My mom said she wants to sleep and never wake up. My sister locks herself in her room. I try to reach out to her but I can't hold myself together. I'm always crying. My 16th birthday was on the 23rd, when I found all of this out. Things have been escalating since then. I ended up in the hospital on Christmas Day with an anxiety attack and depression. I fee like giving up. I really can't do this. I'm not strong enough to handle this. I'm scared all the time. My mom smashes things and locks herself in the bathroom. She flooded it and made my dad clean it up. I need to be there for her, but I also need to be there for him. They talk ******** about each other and I feel like they resent me for helping the other. My mom wants to go to Europe for the whole summer but then who will take care of my cats? My dad is at work all day. My kitten, Indy, sleeps in my bed and follows me around all day. Without him, I would be all alone. I have no other family here, the rest of my family lives in Germany. My uncle in Germany is my godfather, but I don't know him that well. I have a duel citizenship and can speak it fluently, but I can't move there while my family falls apart. I don't know what to do.

              Comment


              • #8
                RE: I can't handle living with my family

                Hello,

                Thanks so much for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are going through so much with your family right now, and we are here to help and support you in any way that we can. It sounds very difficult to see your mom like this, and to feel like your parents resent you for helping the other parent. It sounds like you are suffering with depression and anxiety yourself. This sounds very painful, and it is understandable that you are feeling confused about what to do. We are here to listen and support you however we can, and we can help talk to you about your options. You said that you are feeling like you are not strong enough to handle this situation and you feel like giving up. That is a very difficult place to be in. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a great resource for you. You can check out their website, www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You are always welcome to reach out to us as well at 1-800-RUNAWAY. It sounds like you are spending a lot of time alone and you don’t have very much support right now, so if you need someone to talk to we are always here for you. Our primary concern is always your safety and we can help you make a plan to stay safe and deal with this situation. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm 16 and want to live somewhere else

                  I recently just turned 16 this week and I'm at my breaking point of living in the same house as my parents. they have been trying to change me for two years. we have a totally different mind set on life and they will never seem to accept mine. they want me to believe in God and be a good child who stays out of trouble. They have shoved this down my throat since I was 5. I feel that since they have tired to have this certain image or way I should live that I've gotten so mad at why they are trying to do this. if I don't want to believe in God I shouldn't have to. They say I can move out but I don't know where to go. I love my home and I'm thankful for everything my parents have done for me but they have pushed me way to far by trying to make me believe in God and keep me away from my friends. I'm 16 of course all I care about is being with my friends excpessially when there the ones who can make me happy. whenever I'm home I'm upset depressed alone and always think about dying. my parents say I don't deserve anything and I have to have good grades and make good choices which basically means be a loser who makes good grades and doesn't have a life. that's not me I'm happy out going love being around people! I may not be the smartest but I do try I do. I brought all my F's up to C's in a week but that wasn't good enough it never is. my friends begged to hang out with me yesterday but of course my parents said I couldn't for no reason. they expect me to be happy and nice to them and want to do good in school. I do but not when they say I can't do things I want or I don't deserve them. it upsets me and makes me feel horrible. I told them that they make me
                  want to kill myself and they say you know you will go to hell if you do that. I don't care!! I rather go there then have to be with my parents they cause so much depression and unhappiness in my life and I don't know what to do anymore I want help and I want out before it's too late.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE: I'm 16 and want to live somewhere else

                    Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are having a very difficult time right now with your parents. You seem to be under a lot of stress right now, and it sounds like you feel your parents pressure you to believe in God and to make better grades. It sounds like you are struggling with not having the freedom to hang out with your friends and you are feeling unhappy and depressed. You mentioned that you have told your parents you want to kill yourself. This is very serious. If you are thinking about hurting yourself or attempting suicide, there is lots of help out there for you. You can always check out www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call the National Suicide Hotline directly at 1-800-273-8255 for help and support if you are considering suicide. If you are feeling depressed and preoccupied by thinking about dying, it can be really helpful to have someone to talk to, like a counselor or therapist. You could consider reaching out to one at school or talking to your parents about seeing one, and we can help you find resources and referrals if you would like. We are here to listen and help you in any way that we can. It sounds like you are thinking about running away. We can help you figure out a plan and options to stay safe and answer any questions you might have. It can be very helpful to think about where you would go and how you would survive and make a plan before you leave. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I want to live with my uncle

                      Well I'm 16 years old , I live with my stepdad , stepmom , half brother , half sister and stepsister. I love them a lot but latelye I have been having lots of problems with my stepdad because he says that I'm always the trouble and that I'm causing my family to be apart and he told me that he should kick me out of the house... that I have three options go with my mom in the city with her bf , live with my uncle or go to Mexico with my grandparents. I haven't told him but I decide that I want to be with my uncle , I told my mom about it but she doesn't want me to live with him, I talked to my uncle also and he supports me and if my stepdad doesn't let me go with him I'm thinking to run away to live with my uncle.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Im 16 and i want to live somewhere else.

                        Hello,
                        Thanks so much for opening up to us about this situation. We know things can get tough, but we are here to listen and help. It sounds like you’ve been struggling with family dynamics and we understand how stressful that can be.
                        Its looks like you’ve put in some thought about leaving home and feel like your happiness is reliant. Before you decide to make a decision we thought you should know that because you are a minor if you do runaway your legal guardian (whether that be your mother or stepdad) could file a runaway report. If the police should find you they would be obligated to take you back home. However if you do feel like being home at any point is a dangerous, don’t hesitate to call the authorities. We’re sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling down. Sometimes sharing your feelings with your family or having a conversation about the entire situation can help, but we know these conversations can be intimidating. Something to consider is family counseling or mediated conversations. We provide a conference call service which basically involves calling a parent up, letting them know who we are and then proceed with a conversation where both sides of the call are heard and respected. If you decide that you want to ask him to move with your uncle, this can be a conversation we could help you with. If you were interested in any of the following, feel free to give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY and simply ask.
                        Once again we’re really glad you decided to reach out to us and if you wish to talk further about the situation feel free to give us a call. We are here to listen. Here to help. Best of luck and stay strong!
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Help

                          I'm 15 and 1/2 my dad has been in jail since 2013 and I'm currently living with my aunt and uncle, I hate it here. They are always yelling at each other and their two kids, and she always threatens me and says I won't be able to leave here until I'm 18. I wanna go live with my older brothers they have a house together and she won't let me go. I don't want to be in a foster home but I don't want to be here. My dad never signed any papers to legally give my aunt custody of me. Is there anyone I can message and have them tell me what can I do. I can't call because I don't have a cellphone. Please help.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            RE: Help

                            Hello There,

                            Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It is a great first step to finding the help and information that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now being with your aunt and uncle.
                            We are not legal experts here, but typically finding who has legal custody would require some legal aid. If there was nothing signed, it could be possible that your brother can become a legal guardian. You mentioned not having a phone, maybe having your brother call us at 1800-RUNAWAY and we could help refer these resources in our city and state that could help with this process.

                            We hope this was helpful. Remember you can always reach us via our chat service as well.

                            Best Wishes,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              i want to move in with my boyfriend but I'm 16 my parents don't like some of the decisions I've made in my life and don't like my boyfriend for things we have done I don't want to keep running away from home but it seems like its the only way that i can see him because my parents don't let me out at all they don't give me money or buy me things and I'm always fighting with my mom and it has gotten fiscal . I'm tired of always fighting with her because she kicks me out the house and when I do leave she calls the cops and reports me as a run away . i want to know how i can because independent at the age of 16, How can i start my own life and live some where that's not home if I'm just 16 years old .

                              Comment


                              • ccsmod7
                                ccsmod7 commented
                                Editing a comment
                                Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like an awfully difficult situation that you are in. It can be really tough when your mom doesn’t like your boyfriend. It is understandable to be stressed about getting kicked out by your mom and then being reported as a runaway. You are very brave to seek out help when you need it.

                                We are not legal experts here at NRS, but we have the general information for some issues. You mentioned wanting to know if you can leave home without having to run away. There are a few ways for this: Emancipation (depending on what state you are in), a legal process that typically takes quite some time to be completed. The purpose is to prove to the courts that you are capable of supporting yourself financially and being independent. The first step would be to get in touch with a legal expert on the process. The second option would be to leave your home with the permission of your parent/guardian. Your parent/guardian may give you permission to leave home and stay with someone else. Since you mentioned your mom does not like your boyfriend, another option may be a friend or relative that your mom approves of. If you plan to go this route, it might be helpful to document as well you can the agreement between you and your mom. This can be done with a written agreement or with witnesses. The first step for this would be to talk to your mom about granting permission for you to live elsewhere. The third option may be to get child protective services involved if there is any abuse or neglect present. For child protective services to remove you from your mother’s care, they will have to find proof of any abuse and/or neglect and deem it dangerous and/or severe enough to remove you. They may offer other services, such as parenting classes, if there is abuse/neglect that is not severe enough for their standards of removal. The first step for this would be to report any abuse/neglect to child protective services.

                                Again, thank you for reaching out to NRS. It takes a lot of courage to seek out help when you need it. You are trying to figure what the best thing for you to do is. We hope we were able to help, but if you need further assistance or if you would just like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call our 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us. We are here to listen and we are here to help. Best of luck to you!
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