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Contemplating running away

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  • Contemplating running away

    Hi..I'm 14 I turn 15 on December 15th and I'm sick of my parents..sick of living constantly want to just die..I have a boyfriend and I'm friends with his brother..I could run away to them..but my mom..she will call authorities on them and boyfriends father wouldn't allow it.
    i can't stand living at home anymore..mom threatens to send me back to the mental hostpital..I haven't done anything..my mom is crazy she mentally abuses me and my father she has pedophilic tendencies towards my nephew..and she scares me..I can never tell if she truly loves me or cares about me
    I cry all the time wanting to just end it all and not have to deal with this

    Mom doesn't trust me she doesn't let me leave home I can't go on walks around the house and I can't go anywhere when I ask if father can take me..I feel like I'm in jail..trapped in a cage ...
    I binge eat because I'm depressed..I feel so fat I disgust myself.....
    I have no friends but my boyfriend's brother..they are the only ones I can turn to I'm feeling desperate at this point..when my mother speaks I feel sick...she's beginning to make me feel revolted..my friend is 55 minutes away by drive because we moved away to a tiny worthless town with nothing..what do i do!??? I need to escape I can't take this anymore! my mom is a manipulator she lies and tricks people all the time and it upsets me greatly..my brother is a drug dealer she would let him do insane stuff in the house..invite random men in..i was so scared..she let him call me names and hurt my feelings all my life til now..im sick of being called names...being told im this way...haha...help

  • #2
    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are here to help. It sounds like living with your mom and dad has brought up a lot of depression in you. We want you to know you do not deserve any type of abuse. If you want to file an abuse report, Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) can help you file a report or transfer custody to a safe adult. We can conference call to file a report too if you like, or we can file one on your behalf if you want us to. It is always up to you. We are an anonymous and confidential service so you never have to tell us your personal information if you don’t want to. But if you do want to, we can help you file an abuse report.
    We are sorry to hear the move away from friends has been so hard on you. Moving and making new friends can definitely be difficult!
    You mentioned feeling suicidal a few different times. That is a really scary thought, but it does make sense that you are feeling so badly with all that is going on in the home. It sounds really isolating to be living there right now. We are here by phone 24/7 if you ever want to talk. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also 24/7 by phone and on their website through live chat: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
    You also mentioned binge eating. We are nonjudgmental and you know your situation best, so we don’t know if this is something that could be helpful to you or not, but we wanted to offer it. The National Eating Disorders Association also has a hotline at 1-800-931-2237 (nationaleatingdisorders.org). On their website, you can chat, get more information about what qualifies as an eating disorder, take a screening quiz, and find local supports as well. There hotline can also offer support.
    You are very strong for handling your living situation so far. It is not easy for someone so young especially to go through all this. We are here 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY {786-2929}) and in the evenings on our website by live chat. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk more about your situation or would like more resources!
    Stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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