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i'm almost 17 and NEED to leave my parents house

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  • i'm almost 17 and NEED to leave my parents house

    i'm 16 , in a few months i'll be 17 , i live in alabama. my parents literally do not acknowledge me unless they want to argue or talk ******** about me , they are great to my sister and my brother but supposedly i'm the problem child, my boyfriends black and my dads super racist so he hates me for that , i've been with him a year now. my parents literally never let me leave this house , i have no privileges, they are so depressing, i've never been so depressed and i want to kill myslef , i have no happiness here and i want to get out of this house , i have never hated anyone more than i hate my parents, i'm not a bad kid AT ALL , i've looked into being emancipated
    but by the time i get my GED and a job i'll already be 18 , i need to get out of here soon , or i'm seriously going to kill myself . they are terrible parents. but they're only awful to me, no one else , they never have a decent conversation with me, they argue with me and talk ******** to everyone about me , i sit in my room all day and talk to no one , my dad turned my phone off because my boyfriend is black, my moms a piece of ******** and she's awful , i want to know how i can move out soon, my boyfriend is 18 and his parents are okay with me moving in with them, i'd be taken care of and be around people thag make me happy. PLEASE HELP ME I NEED SERIOUS HELP I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE THEY ARE SERIOUSLY ********ING MY MENTAL HEALTH UP

  • #2
    Hi, thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. From what you have told us, it sounds like you are in a really frustrating situation. We are definitely here to see how we can best help and talk through some options and see how they work with your situation.

    We want to start by saying we are very sorry to hear about the disapproval of your boyfriend by your parents. You deserve to have your relationship respected and understood and not have to have you or your boyfriend be treated in the ways you have. It has to be difficult to cope with them speaking and acting that way about your boyfriend and we understand how this can be a very difficult situation to live with. It sounds like you are looking into leaving home so, we can provide some general legal info but, we are not legal experts so some things may vary with the city or county you live in. From our knowledge, the age of adulthood, the age you are no longer under your parent’s legal responsibility, is 19. This means if you do want to leave home, your parent’s could file something called a runaway report. This would include them calling out to the police department and filing a report including the info of where they think you may be staying. Runaway away isn’t illegal per say, you can’t be arrested unless you have outstanding warrants, and it won’t go on your permanent record and hurt any future job/schooling opportunities. If the police find you, the will just return you back home. The only way that law enforcement does get more involved is if you are found with someone else, including your boyfriend. Your parent’s could press charges of something along the lines of “harboring a runaway” and could have more legal trouble. Again, every police department is different and may not even take runaway reports for 17 or 18 year olds. This depends on what your police department does do, and you can always give them a call to find out. You could call your local non-emergency police and ask general questions on what they would do in a situation with a youth leaving home at 16. If they make you uncomfortable and ask any personal identifying info, you can always hang up. We can also call out with you on the line if you want to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Some other things you can think about would be having an open conversation with your parents to see if they can make a compromise. It seems like you mentioned they treat you differently than your other sibling so, maybe you can talk to your siblings and have them help you sit down with your parents to talk about how they have been treating you. If that doesn’t look like an option, you can always ask another trusted individual like a friend, family member, or people form your boyfriend’s family. Having a third party could maybe help your parent’s see that the way they are treating you has been affecting you, as you said with your mental help. Again, we are always here as an advocate as well. You are welcome to call us here and we can talk a little more about the situation. From there, we can reach out to your parents over the phone to do something called a conference call. We would act as a mediator to talk about what has been going on and try to come to a compromise and have both you and your parents understand how each other feel. If this is something you are comfortable with, please give us a call again at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    We are very sorry you are in this situation with your parents and its sounds like your mental health is being affected, which is completely valid. We know you did mention attempting suicide, and we want to let you know we do have resources that may be able to help or even just listen. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always here to help listen and talk through what has been going on. They can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.

    If these options are something you want to talk through, or if not we can talk through other options as well. Again, you are really brave for reaching out and sharing some of what has been going on. We are here 24/7 so, do not hesitate to give us a call.

    Best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Im 17 and live in NC and my parents cause me to have extremely bad anxiety and depression. Living in the house with them i feel miserable and i want to get out of this house right now as im typing this. If i were to runaway per says, and they file a runaway report, and the police find me and i tell them how i feel would i be able to live with someone else or on my own.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your parents are making your living situation so emotionally difficult. It makes sense that you want to leave an environment that is clearly not good for your mental health.

        While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Some police can be more understanding about what is going on at your home. In our experience, police will oftentimes return the youth back to their guardian almost no matter what. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

        Another thing to take into account is the current COVID-19 situation. It has made running away a significantly more difficult and dangerous endeavor and it might be something you want to consider if you are planning to leave. It may be wise to wait until the state of emergency ends and for it to be medically safe to leave quarantine.

        If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

        Take care,
        NRS
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