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  • 17, Utah, wanting to move into a friends place

    I'm 17 and live in Layton utah. It no lie that I have strict parents. All my friends parents to my couches and teachers know. I have a friend that has opened his house to me and has job opportunities as well for me.... I don't hate my parents just i am being held back essential adult skills cause my parents would rather have me sit in my room all day.. if I choose to just walk out and live with my friend, my parents will call the cops and I don't wanna be home or be in trouble with the law. Please help!

  • #2
    Hi,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It sounds like you're in a pretty difficult situation right now! From hat you've told us it seems like you don't dislike your parents, you just want to move forward with your life and do things that they do not really let you do. We can let you know a little bit about runaway laws and hopefully that'll be able to help you out a little bit.

    Normally when you leave home before the age of 18 you would be considered a runaway. Running away is not illegal but it is considered a status offense. What this means is that you won't be arrested for running away, but your parents could file a runaway report for you with the police and the police would be looking for you. If the police found you they would take you back home. It would not go on your permanent record and you would not get arrested. If you stay at your friend's house there is a chance their parent could get into trouble for what's called harboring a runaway, but your parents would have to actually want to take them to court in order to make that happen, the police would not just show up to your friend's house and arrest them there.

    You did mention that you were 17, so it's important to note that sometimes some police departments do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds. This differs from police department to police department though, so you may have to call your local police department and see what exactly they would do in your situation. If they do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds you can leave without your parents' permission without police involvment.

    If you want to talk more about what you're going through please don't hesitate to reach out to us again! You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help you out in the best way we can.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi, I know someone who is moving Utah from Texas and he will be 17 in a couples months which he plans to leave a couple months after turning 17 to come back to Texas. I just wanted to know if he would get in any trouble for doing that or not, since he’d be coming back to Texas, he as been told by our school principal & officers that he can move out at 17 so would he get in trouble in utah or Texas for coming back to Texas to his life here?

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what's going on. Since your friend is under the age of 18 he is considered a minor and his parents could file a runaway report if he were to leave without their permission. Running away is a status offense - which means that it isn't illegal but something that can't be done while still a minor (like smoking, gambling, etc.). We aren't legal experts here at NRS but if he were located by the authorities, he would most likely be brought back home to his parents. It is worth mentioning that any adult who houses your friend does run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Harboring penalties can vary greatly from state to state and even city to city.

        If he does opt to leave home or finds himself to be homeless he still has the right to your education under what’s called the McKinney-Vento act. To find out more about how to take advantage of the McKinney-Vento act we suggest that he contact the school directly. Of course, it might be worthwhile to have your friend contact us directly to discuss what's going on/ He can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the "CHAT" button at the top of our homepage.

        All the best,
        NRS

    • #4
      Hi, I know someone who is moving Utah from Texas and he will be 17 in a couples months which he plans to leave a couple months after turning 17 to come back to Texas. I just wanted to know if he would get in any trouble for doing that or not, since he’d be coming back to Texas, he as been told by our school principal & officers that he can move out at 17 so would he get in trouble in utah or Texas for coming back to Texas to his life here? Also, when he comes back to Texas he will be moving in with his sister.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what's going on. Since your friend is under the age of 18 he is considered a minor and his parents could file a runaway report if he were to leave without their permission. Running away is a status offense - which means that it isn't illegal but something that can't be done while still a minor (like smoking, gambling, etc.). We aren't legal experts here at NRS but if he were located by the authorities, he would most likely be brought back home to his parents. It is worth mentioning that any adult who houses your friend does run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Harboring penalties can vary greatly from state to state and even city to city. It may be beneficial to reach out to the local nonemergency police lines in both areas (you can usually just dial 311) to get a gauge on police response and policy.

        If you or your friend like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can also be reached via chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support in any way we can.

        All the best,
        NRS

    • #5
      I am 17 and I live in Utah my parents aren't getting along what so ever and they want me to quit my job, which is my favorite thing on the plant, and take away my phone and basically just sit at home all day. If I go to live with a friend or an adult that is not my parents so I can keep my job what kind of trouble can I get into? Can the person I'm staying with get into trouble?

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are sorry to hear your parents are not getting along and they are making living at home with them difficult. It is really responsible to reach out for help and get information before making a decision.

        We are not legal experts, but we can share some general information. If you leave home without permission, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal, but if your parents know where you are then they can have police return you home. Depending on the situation your parents could choose to file harboring a runaway charges against the people that you stay with. The way police handle runaway reports can differ by state and department. Sometimes police officers do not pursue runaway reports or force youth back home if they are somewhere safe and close to turning 18. You can call the non-emergency number for your local police department to ask anonymously how they would handle a runaway report for someone in your circumstances.
        We can help you have a conversation with your parents about being able to keep your job if you would like. We can facilitate a conference call and be on the line to advocate for your needs and make sure you feel heard.

        Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat at 1800runaway.org if you would like to talk more about what is going on or explore options.

        Take Care,
        NRS

    • #6
      My daughter has a 16 year old who wants to leave home and come live with us and we would love to have her live with us. Her parents are divorced and she lives with her dad and stepmom however her mom has full custody. If we have permission from her mom can she live with us without being charged for harboring a run away,?

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello and thank you for contacting us today. It’s great that you guys are willing to take in your granddaughter. First of all we are not legal experts but if your daughter has full custody it should not be issue. However, you might want to check into the particulars of the custody arrangements in case there is something about leaving the state or something like that. Something to look into is getting something in writing from your daughter saying it is okay for your granddaughter to come live with you guys. Also, talking to her father and letting him know that she coming to stay with you might lessen the worry that she is just leaving.
        If you have any other questions you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) 24 hours a day to discuss your specific situation in more detail and explore some options you might have. Also, we are available through our live chat from 4:30-11:30pm CST. Thanks again for reaching out to us. We hope to hear from you soon.

    • #7
      Hi, 16 and im about to turn 17 in june i live in salt lake city utah i want to leave my parents house becuase my mom always blames me for things that happen in the house and also calls me names and I'm just tired of it and have a friend who's mom said it was okay for me to stay with them if I wanted to leave my house i was planning on leaving them a note with information about where I will be at and why im leaving but I'm not sure if my friends mom will get in trouble with police or if I will get in trouble with police

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for reaching The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and you do not deserve to be called names. If you feel like this is emotional abuse, you can make a report by calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453.
        We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could possibly happen. Because you are considered a minor if you left without permission your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal, but if the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. Also whoever you were to stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Usually that would be a fine they would need to pay or it could be a misdemeanor.
        We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to see if there are any other options or resources, please chat with us or give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
        NRS

    • #8
      Hiya! I am an 19 year old in Utah who will be getting my own place here soon and my coworker who is 17 wants to move in with me, we are both girls. Her mother said that it would be okay. My coworker is almost 18 and doesn't want to waste time getting emancipated.
      With her legal guardian's consent/ even signed documentation of consent, Would this be considered harboring a runaway?

      Comment


      • ccsmod4
        ccsmod4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It would seem that if you she has her parent’s written consent it might be okay. The consent letter could even be notarized. However since we are not legal experts anyone concerned about this might consider contacting the local police department’s non-emergency number to see if this would be legal in their eyes.

        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #9
      A woman and her daughter have lived with us for five years. Three of those years the mother has been on drugs. She says she is clean now but we are suspecting that might not be the case. The daughter turns 17 next month. If the mother were to move out would the daughter be able to refuse to go? She is treated terribly even when we are here, made to clean the mothers room and empty the garbages when she doesn’t even live in it. She screams her daughters name several times a day for little things and is very rude. We stop what we can but I know it would be worse without us around. Would she have to leave with her mother? She will always have a place with us and we consider her a daughter. No physical abuse has occurred that would put her in danger according to dcfs but we worry for her emotionally.

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you for sharing a bit about this young person's safety. It sounds like you are very concerned about her well-being and you are looking into what options she may have.

        While we are not legal experts we can speak generally on this. Because this young person is still a minor, her mother is her legal guardian and can choose where she lives. If the mother chooses to leave, she can insist that her daughter come with her. If her daughter refuses to leave or were to leave her mother without permission, mom can report her as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal and it is not something she would get arrested for. It is a status offense, however, which means the mother can ask that police return this young person to her. It sounds like living with you would be a much healthier environment for the youth. Police protocol around runaway reports can vary and sometimes police do not always enforce them for someone who is so close to 18. We always suggest that someone call the non-emergency police line for the local police department to find out more about how the local police will handle a situation and if they would force this young person to stay with her mother.

        You mentioned that you believe the mother may be abusing drugs again. The youth does always have the option to report this to DCFS if she is comfortable having them intervene.

        We hope this information helps. If you have any further questions or concerns, you or this young person can contact us directly anytime. We are available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

        Thank you again for reaching out!
        NRS

    • #10
      Hi so i am 16 years old and i want to save up money to move out of my parents house. they don t allow me to have much freedom especially since they recently found out that i have a boyfriend they dont want me with him but he truly does make me happy i just want them to respect my decisions. i just cant with this anymore they control my life and it really does suck im a teenager and i want to have fun but i cant do anything other than be at home. i want to spend a few nights at my friends house just because i want to be away from their house. i just dont know what to do anymore..

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #11
      Hi! I’m 17 and I’m graduating in December of 2021 so pretty early. What would happen if my parents give me consent to move out but they called the cops saying Running away. I don’t want to be in trouble by the law or the people that are willing to rent me there basement. I also have a good paying job. I just don’t like my house anymore What am I supposed to do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, it sounds like you are in a challenging situation with your parents, and we understand how frustrating that can be. It's great that you are about to graduate, and that you have a good job! While we are not legal experts, we can say that in general you would not be in legal trouble, but only in a "status offence." This means your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement. However, while it's not common, whoever you stay with could be at risk of harboring a runaway charges. Usually police would mostly be concerned with getting you back home. If you need more information, or would like to talk with us some more, please feel free to chat at 1800runaway.org or call at 1-800-RUNAWAY any time, 24/7. Thank you for reaching out, and best of luck to you.

    • #12
      I'm 17, I want to live with my mom but can't. I refuse to go back to my dad's! I'm done with his abuse!!! My mom doesn't have custody of me. She lost it when I was 10. So she has non custodial custody. I just found her again! Its been so long! we are just getting back together after no contact and all these years. I just wanna finish senior year out in peace. How can I stay with mom and do this without DCFS getting involved!? My dad is not gonna be happy that I'm here.... Unless he already knows!? Anyways I'm just a lost girl in Utah... If I can't stay... Dad left me at the shelter to figure it out. No worries. They will provide all I need. His words... So I found my mom.... And she's trying... But can't do much.... None of my documents/paperwork to be able to be able. School is just around the corner!!!!! I need stability! I need understanding.... I can't go anywhere where in his control... But yet he has no time for me or my needs!?

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        It looks like you might have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue. Thank you for contacting us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. Please call or chat us again if your situation changes or if you have more questions or concerns, or if you need additional support. We are here for you: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

        Best of luck,

        NRS

    • #13
      Hi, I’m 17 years old…I’m looking forward to moving out as soon as I turn 18 in October of this year, and I live in West Valley City, UT.
      I have run away before when I was 16 years old due to my dad controlling me a lot, (I only live with my dad, my mom lives in mexico) and so my dad controls me in any way, I can’t have friends, always blowing me up, judging me, controlling when I can work or can’t, literally makes me quit whenever he feels like it, I can’t NEVER GO OUT, he is very controlling in any way, he is very obsessed with keeping me with him forever and with me not having any friends but him, he can go out and get drunk every weekend have friends over when he feels like it just because he pays the bills like dude, I’m not here to bash my dad, because he is the best I freaking love my dad he has always been there for me, but it’s the way he acts, his parenting, strictness, ugh.
      So I was wondering if I could move out at the age if 17 because i already tried emancipating but I backed off from it because I don’t want to have everything go down to a judge, what can I do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Your frustration with your dad’s behavior is understandable, and it makes sense that you need freedom to live your life, without getting tangled up in legal and judicial decisions.

        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parental permission. If you are under 18, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        With all of that said, the easiest way to leave home is with your dad’s permission. We understand that might be challenging; perhaps there is someone at school or in the community you’d trust enough to talk to?

        The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. It sounds like what you’ve described could possibly be considered emotional abuse. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

        We strongly encourage you to call or chat online with us. You deserve to feel heard, respected, and free. We can brainstorm more options and resources with you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        Wishing you the best,


        NRS

    • #14
      I am turning 16 in a couple of months, I live in Springville Utah. I'd like to mention that I don't hate my parents but I hate how they treat me. My mom divorced and remarried my dad was abusive so my mom got full custody. Lately my friends have noticed that my mom doesn't treat me correctly, they noticed that she might be unknowingly abusive. I'm not given the freedom of religion in my home and feel neglected compared to my younger sister. I'm always compared to her achievements and am not shown much support. I'd also like to mention that I'm pansexual and when I came out to my mom she was not accepting.

      My friend is turning 18 in 6 months and my other friends are turning 18 within the same year, we had all talked about moving in together and working at the same place, two of them are secondary Manager's and my other friend and me are going to start working there in the summer/begining of August. I have looked into how to save money and have planned out paying for my final year of school after I move. We wanted to move in September of 2022 and we plan on staying in the same city as our parents.

      I'm trying to figure out how this could work when my mom will most likely freak out and I don't want her to keep me from my freedom like she has been. I heard about Emancipation and would like to know if I would have to get Emancipated even though I'd be moving in with a legal adult and minors that will become legal adults soon after.

      My friends have already said they would help me with work and finances until I can manage it myself. All of us also live in toxic/abusive homes and we're all kept from our own freedom and are all neglected. I've come up with three jobs that I could even possibly do to stabilize my financial life. I just want to know if can move out without being brought back to my mom's house and prisoned inside.

      -Thanks.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your parents have been so challenging. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive towards you, unknowingly or not. It sounds like you are interested in living away from home and have some questions about how that might work. We are not legal experts, but we can provide general information that might help.

        Generally, if you are considered a minor in your state, your parent/legal guardian decides where you live. If you leave without your parent/legal guardian's consent, they can report you as a runaway with your local police department. With most police departments, if they locate you, they would return you to your legal guardian. In your message, you discuss your mom being abusive. If you feel that living with your mom is unsafe, you have the right to report that to your local child protective services. Organizations like Child Help, available by phone at 1-800-422-4453 or online by visiting childhelp.org , may be able to provide you with more information on your local office. If you are interested in emancipation, you would need to speak with someone in the Juvenile Court Probation Office. The phone number to reach them is (435) 623-1685. There may be specific age requirements, as well as possibly costs associated with applying for emancipation. If you would like to discuss your situation further, please reach out to us.

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you figure out your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

        -NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-23-2022, 08:36 AM. Reason: grammatical error

    • #15
      Hello, I am 16, and I am living with my mom in a hotel. We are homeless. My grandparents have currently offered us a safe place to stay while my mom works. Are used to live with my grandparents and they would abuse me. After telling my mom how I felt and uncomfortable they made me, she is still making in love with him. My mom isn’t a good parent she is an alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I want to get emancipated, but living in cedar city Utah that’s almost impossible. I can’t get an apartment until I’m emancipated but I need to prove that I’m able to live on my own. I need help.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out for help. We are sorry that you are experiencing this and we can see why you would feel conflicted. We hear you and we would like to offer further support. We would be happy to talk more with you about the situation and see if we can work through some ideas together, to help guide you toward a direction that is appealing to you and safe for you. It sounds like you have looked into emancipation, and this is something we can try and look at with you as well. We may also have outside resources that we could provide you, that could help answer any legal questions that you may have as well. Please feel welcome to reach out to us through out Chat portal, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you health and safety in the meantime and we look forward to this opportunity to talk further with you.

        Kindly,
        NRS
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