17, Utah, wanting to move into a friends place

[ccsmod3]

Hi thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to get out of your parents’ house as soon as possible because they are strict and manipulative. You deserve to be in a place where you feel safe and cared for and it does not seem like your parents are doing that for you. If you go to a friend’s house or somewhere without your parents’ permission, they could call the police and file a runaway report and it is possible you would be brought back home. Since you are closer to being 18, there can be less of a chance that police would try and find you especially if they were to know the situation you are in and why you are trying to get away. Another option can be a shelter, though it can be tricky if they require your parents’ permission for you to stay. If you would like to talk more about what’s going on or for us to find you some alternative resources in your area, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hey I'm 17, I'm turning 18 in 7 months. My parents are very strict and very manipulative. I was wondering if there was anyway I could live with a friend or if there is any safe house I could go too. I just started a job too and I'm also going to graduate high school early like in January so is there anything that I could do to get out of my parents house.

[ccsmod15]

Hi, We are glad you reached out to NRS for help. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. From what you describe, you are in a very difficult living arrangement at home and it makes sense you are thinking about leaving. There maybe some options to try yet with your parents but to figure out if they might be a fit with you and your situation, we would need to talk in more detail. There are agencies and programs that are available to help you as well, especially since you mentioned you have previously been kicked out and living at home is so unsafe for you with the emotional and physical abuse you mentioned. You deserve a safe and consistent living environment and we would like to help you find the best option for you. We would like to talk more with you, help you come up with your best plan and get you working with the resources and programs to help you. To do that you can start a chat with us through our website or call our crisis hotline at 1 (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential. We hope to hear from you soon, NRS

Hi I live it ut and my parents are very verbally abusive and some time’s physically. Due to this I am in trouble for the littlest things like it I’m home 19 minutes late they react crazy. Ever sense my brother moved out It’s gotten so much worse. They will kick me out and just expect me to beg to be let back in, but the last time they did this I just left. I slept under a bridge but for some reason it felt better than being home I had no shoes on and a hoodie and booty shorts on. Then after this they had to give me my phone back and about three days later I asked my mom to go to the movies and she said yes but then the second I went she told my dad that she never said yes I don’t know why she likes to let my dad react at me like that, but he yelled at me in front of all my friends even my friends parents so embarrassing, I don’t know what to do. My last resort is leaving. My dad continues to call me all kinds of names and say I’m such a disappointment and he’s disgusted to have me as a daughter. I don’t know how to better this situation or if I even can I feel lost and I have no energy to try to make things right with them anymore. I think about everything they say to me on the daily and I just want to cry 24 seven.

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like there is constant fighting between you and your parents, that sounds really stressful. It sounds like your family is also having some financial issues and you are feeling like it would be better if you were out of the house. It is important to make sure that you would still be able to take care of yourself and it sounds like a friend would be willing to let you stay with them and there are possible job options as well. This could be helpful to talk to your parents about especially if they are giving permission as everyone could be on the same page and you could make sure you could keep going to physical therapy for your knee. If your parents give permission for you to leave, it is legal, though they can take back that permission at any time and ask for you to come back home. If you would like to talk more about this, we are here 24/7 and you can reach out via our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi, I’m 17 years old. My parents and I are constantly fighting over rules they won’t change. On the plus side we’re so tight on money it’s either a gallon of milk or the house payment. It would be better financially for my family as a whole if I was out of the picture. However my knee is currently injured and I’m still in need of physical therapy I can continue on my own but it’d still be nice to go to a professional. My friend has a house open for me and job offers and opportunities near by there. I don’t want police involved though. Should I talk to my parents about this? They’ve also hinted about me moving out before. If I get permission from my parents would it be legal?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with you getting ready to move out. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,

NRS

i’m 18 and i’m moving out in a few months. i’m too scared to tell my parents because they’re extremely protective. i’m not able to see my friends or boyfriend much and at home they blame everything on me. i’m moving out with two friends. what should i do to make it not so difficult.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. That sounds like a really frustrating position for both you and your boyfriend to have him feeling unwanted at home by an alcoholic mother. He doesn't deserve that, and its understandable that he would want out and that you would want to help.
The unfortunate thing is at 17 in South Carolina he is still a minor and as such his mom could still report him as a runaway. If he was found police would be able to detain him and hold him until mom picked him up or found another way to get him back home. If he was found with you and your family its possible anyone over 18 in the household could get charged with harboring a runaway which can be a fine, jail time, or community service (or all three). If though you did still risk it and he successfully stayed hidden from police until he turns 18, the runaway report would become a missing person report and no longer would he be forced home or you risk harboring charges.
One thing to keep in mind would be your ages and living together though. Depending on Utah's age of consent living together when one of you is 18 and the other is not might trigger statutory rape charges for the older one, even if your relationship has no physical intimacy since there is an assumption of it.
If you want to chat further, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7 and are available to talk in more detail about your situation and what you’re struggling with. Good luck.

Hello, I have a boyfriend who lives in South Carolina currently and he flies down to Utah to visit me. He's 17 and we were wondering if he could live with me here in utah to get him away from his mom. She's a heavy drinker and although she dosen't hurt him, she acts as though she dosen't ever care about him. Would there be a legal issue with him living with me? We want to do it, but not if we'd be going against the law

[ccsmod15]

Thanks so much for reaching out. Sounds like you have a really tough home life with your parents; sounds really horrible.

As for moving to be with your cousin, the law in the vast majority of states, including Utah, has the age of majority as 18. This means that in the eyes of the law, you’re an adult at 18 and can make decisions independently only then. Until that time, your parents are your guardians. If they would allow you to move and sign paperwork that your cousin can be your guardian, you could go live with your cousin.

A couple of options to think about if moving now doesn’t seem possible: you may want to consider getting treatment and support for your depression. When you’re depressed, everything seems impossibly hard. Reaching out to another adult or social worker at school is a good way to approach this. The more you are able to talk about what's going on and focus on your strengths and what you can control, the better things will get.

If you want to chat further, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7 and are available to talk in more detail about your situation and what you’re struggling with. Good luck.

Hey I’m from tooele. My parents don’t ever get along and always bashing me down and I hate it so much. My self esteem is so low and I have bad depression.Sometimes I don’t wanna be here anymore and I feel like everything is my fault because my parents never get along.My house is too toxic and im so tired of it. I am a 16 year old wanting to move with my cousin in salt lake.What can I do?

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out for help. We are sorry that you are experiencing this and we can see why you would feel conflicted. We hear you and we would like to offer further support. We would be happy to talk more with you about the situation and see if we can work through some ideas together, to help guide you toward a direction that is appealing to you and safe for you. It sounds like you have looked into emancipation, and this is something we can try and look at with you as well. We may also have outside resources that we could provide you, that could help answer any legal questions that you may have as well. Please feel welcome to reach out to us through out Chat portal, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you health and safety in the meantime and we look forward to this opportunity to talk further with you.

Kindly,
NRS

Hello, I am 16, and I am living with my mom in a hotel. We are homeless. My grandparents have currently offered us a safe place to stay while my mom works. Are used to live with my grandparents and they would abuse me. After telling my mom how I felt and uncomfortable they made me, she is still making in love with him. My mom isn’t a good parent she is an alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I want to get emancipated, but living in cedar city Utah that’s almost impossible. I can’t get an apartment until I’m emancipated but I need to prove that I’m able to live on my own. I need help.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your parents have been so challenging. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive towards you, unknowingly or not. It sounds like you are interested in living away from home and have some questions about how that might work. We are not legal experts, but we can provide general information that might help.

Generally, if you are considered a minor in your state, your parent/legal guardian decides where you live. If you leave without your parent/legal guardian's consent, they can report you as a runaway with your local police department. With most police departments, if they locate you, they would return you to your legal guardian. In your message, you discuss your mom being abusive. If you feel that living with your mom is unsafe, you have the right to report that to your local child protective services. Organizations like Child Help, available by phone at 1-800-422-4453 or online by visiting childhelp.org , may be able to provide you with more information on your local office. If you are interested in emancipation, you would need to speak with someone in the Juvenile Court Probation Office. The phone number to reach them is (435) 623-1685. There may be specific age requirements, as well as possibly costs associated with applying for emancipation. If you would like to discuss your situation further, please reach out to us.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you figure out your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS