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17, Utah, wanting to move into a friends place

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with you getting ready to move out. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i’m 18 and i’m moving out in a few months. i’m too scared to tell my parents because they’re extremely protective. i’m not able to see my friends or boyfriend much and at home they blame everything on me. i’m moving out with two friends. what should i do to make it not so difficult.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. That sounds like a really frustrating position for both you and your boyfriend to have him feeling unwanted at home by an alcoholic mother. He doesn't deserve that, and its understandable that he would want out and that you would want to help.
    The unfortunate thing is at 17 in South Carolina he is still a minor and as such his mom could still report him as a runaway. If he was found police would be able to detain him and hold him until mom picked him up or found another way to get him back home. If he was found with you and your family its possible anyone over 18 in the household could get charged with harboring a runaway which can be a fine, jail time, or community service (or all three). If though you did still risk it and he successfully stayed hidden from police until he turns 18, the runaway report would become a missing person report and no longer would he be forced home or you risk harboring charges.
    One thing to keep in mind would be your ages and living together though. Depending on Utah's age of consent living together when one of you is 18 and the other is not might trigger statutory rape charges for the older one, even if your relationship has no physical intimacy since there is an assumption of it.
    If you want to chat further, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7 and are available to talk in more detail about your situation and what you’re struggling with. Good luck.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, I have a boyfriend who lives in South Carolina currently and he flies down to Utah to visit me. He's 17 and we were wondering if he could live with me here in utah to get him away from his mom. She's a heavy drinker and although she dosen't hurt him, she acts as though she dosen't ever care about him. Would there be a legal issue with him living with me? We want to do it, but not if we'd be going against the law

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks so much for reaching out. Sounds like you have a really tough home life with your parents; sounds really horrible.

    As for moving to be with your cousin, the law in the vast majority of states, including Utah, has the age of majority as 18. This means that in the eyes of the law, you’re an adult at 18 and can make decisions independently only then. Until that time, your parents are your guardians. If they would allow you to move and sign paperwork that your cousin can be your guardian, you could go live with your cousin.

    A couple of options to think about if moving now doesn’t seem possible: you may want to consider getting treatment and support for your depression. When you’re depressed, everything seems impossibly hard. Reaching out to another adult or social worker at school is a good way to approach this. The more you are able to talk about what's going on and focus on your strengths and what you can control, the better things will get.

    If you want to chat further, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7 and are available to talk in more detail about your situation and what you’re struggling with. Good luck.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hey I’m from tooele. My parents don’t ever get along and always bashing me down and I hate it so much. My self esteem is so low and I have bad depression.Sometimes I don’t wanna be here anymore and I feel like everything is my fault because my parents never get along.My house is too toxic and im so tired of it. I am a 16 year old wanting to move with my cousin in salt lake.What can I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out for help. We are sorry that you are experiencing this and we can see why you would feel conflicted. We hear you and we would like to offer further support. We would be happy to talk more with you about the situation and see if we can work through some ideas together, to help guide you toward a direction that is appealing to you and safe for you. It sounds like you have looked into emancipation, and this is something we can try and look at with you as well. We may also have outside resources that we could provide you, that could help answer any legal questions that you may have as well. Please feel welcome to reach out to us through out Chat portal, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you health and safety in the meantime and we look forward to this opportunity to talk further with you.

    Kindly,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am 16, and I am living with my mom in a hotel. We are homeless. My grandparents have currently offered us a safe place to stay while my mom works. Are used to live with my grandparents and they would abuse me. After telling my mom how I felt and uncomfortable they made me, she is still making in love with him. My mom isn’t a good parent she is an alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I want to get emancipated, but living in cedar city Utah that’s almost impossible. I can’t get an apartment until I’m emancipated but I need to prove that I’m able to live on my own. I need help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your parents have been so challenging. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive towards you, unknowingly or not. It sounds like you are interested in living away from home and have some questions about how that might work. We are not legal experts, but we can provide general information that might help.

    Generally, if you are considered a minor in your state, your parent/legal guardian decides where you live. If you leave without your parent/legal guardian's consent, they can report you as a runaway with your local police department. With most police departments, if they locate you, they would return you to your legal guardian. In your message, you discuss your mom being abusive. If you feel that living with your mom is unsafe, you have the right to report that to your local child protective services. Organizations like Child Help, available by phone at 1-800-422-4453 or online by visiting childhelp.org , may be able to provide you with more information on your local office. If you are interested in emancipation, you would need to speak with someone in the Juvenile Court Probation Office. The phone number to reach them is (435) 623-1685. There may be specific age requirements, as well as possibly costs associated with applying for emancipation. If you would like to discuss your situation further, please reach out to us.

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you figure out your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

    -NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-23-2022, 08:36 AM. Reason: grammatical error

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am turning 16 in a couple of months, I live in Springville Utah. I'd like to mention that I don't hate my parents but I hate how they treat me. My mom divorced and remarried my dad was abusive so my mom got full custody. Lately my friends have noticed that my mom doesn't treat me correctly, they noticed that she might be unknowingly abusive. I'm not given the freedom of religion in my home and feel neglected compared to my younger sister. I'm always compared to her achievements and am not shown much support. I'd also like to mention that I'm pansexual and when I came out to my mom she was not accepting.

    My friend is turning 18 in 6 months and my other friends are turning 18 within the same year, we had all talked about moving in together and working at the same place, two of them are secondary Manager's and my other friend and me are going to start working there in the summer/begining of August. I have looked into how to save money and have planned out paying for my final year of school after I move. We wanted to move in September of 2022 and we plan on staying in the same city as our parents.

    I'm trying to figure out how this could work when my mom will most likely freak out and I don't want her to keep me from my freedom like she has been. I heard about Emancipation and would like to know if I would have to get Emancipated even though I'd be moving in with a legal adult and minors that will become legal adults soon after.

    My friends have already said they would help me with work and finances until I can manage it myself. All of us also live in toxic/abusive homes and we're all kept from our own freedom and are all neglected. I've come up with three jobs that I could even possibly do to stabilize my financial life. I just want to know if can move out without being brought back to my mom's house and prisoned inside.

    -Thanks.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Your frustration with your dad’s behavior is understandable, and it makes sense that you need freedom to live your life, without getting tangled up in legal and judicial decisions.

    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parental permission. If you are under 18, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

    With all of that said, the easiest way to leave home is with your dad’s permission. We understand that might be challenging; perhaps there is someone at school or in the community you’d trust enough to talk to?

    The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. It sounds like what you’ve described could possibly be considered emotional abuse. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

    We strongly encourage you to call or chat online with us. You deserve to feel heard, respected, and free. We can brainstorm more options and resources with you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Wishing you the best,


    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m 17 years old…I’m looking forward to moving out as soon as I turn 18 in October of this year, and I live in West Valley City, UT.
    I have run away before when I was 16 years old due to my dad controlling me a lot, (I only live with my dad, my mom lives in mexico) and so my dad controls me in any way, I can’t have friends, always blowing me up, judging me, controlling when I can work or can’t, literally makes me quit whenever he feels like it, I can’t NEVER GO OUT, he is very controlling in any way, he is very obsessed with keeping me with him forever and with me not having any friends but him, he can go out and get drunk every weekend have friends over when he feels like it just because he pays the bills like dude, I’m not here to bash my dad, because he is the best I freaking love my dad he has always been there for me, but it’s the way he acts, his parenting, strictness, ugh.
    So I was wondering if I could move out at the age if 17 because i already tried emancipating but I backed off from it because I don’t want to have everything go down to a judge, what can I do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    It looks like you might have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue. Thank you for contacting us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. Please call or chat us again if your situation changes or if you have more questions or concerns, or if you need additional support. We are here for you: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

    Best of luck,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 17, I want to live with my mom but can't. I refuse to go back to my dad's! I'm done with his abuse!!! My mom doesn't have custody of me. She lost it when I was 10. So she has non custodial custody. I just found her again! Its been so long! we are just getting back together after no contact and all these years. I just wanna finish senior year out in peace. How can I stay with mom and do this without DCFS getting involved!? My dad is not gonna be happy that I'm here.... Unless he already knows!? Anyways I'm just a lost girl in Utah... If I can't stay... Dad left me at the shelter to figure it out. No worries. They will provide all I need. His words... So I found my mom.... And she's trying... But can't do much.... None of my documents/paperwork to be able to be able. School is just around the corner!!!!! I need stability! I need understanding.... I can't go anywhere where in his control... But yet he has no time for me or my needs!?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, it sounds like you are in a challenging situation with your parents, and we understand how frustrating that can be. It's great that you are about to graduate, and that you have a good job! While we are not legal experts, we can say that in general you would not be in legal trouble, but only in a "status offence." This means your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement. However, while it's not common, whoever you stay with could be at risk of harboring a runaway charges. Usually police would mostly be concerned with getting you back home. If you need more information, or would like to talk with us some more, please feel free to chat at 1800runaway.org or call at 1-800-RUNAWAY any time, 24/7. Thank you for reaching out, and best of luck to you.
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