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17yr old moving out in Oklahoma

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am also 17 and my mom has made it very clear that she doesnt want me in the house. Im a junior in High school and she is looking to move to arkansas and getting a smaller house that wont even have a room for me. She wants me to be super independent but since i live under her roof i have to live by her rules. I have a job, good grades, and i am very responsible. The only thing she provides is a room for me to stay in and my truck. I mostly stay with my friend anyways and i never eat at home, so losing the truck and room are not my biggest concern since i have a job and can save up for a new vehicle and live with my friend. Would it be illegal for me to move out of my moms house and to live with my friend and her parents until i turn 18 and can get my own apartment? i live in fairview oklahoma and i dont exactly know the laws on this sort of thing so i thought id give a lot of details for the best answer to my question.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a lot at home. She deserves to feel safe there.
    As a minor, your girlfriend is required to live at home with her parents or guardian, unless she has permission from them to live elsewhere. If she gets permission to live somewhere other than her home, she can live somewhere she feels safer. If she leaves home without parental permission, her parents can file a runaway report which means she would just be returned back home if she was picked up by the police.
    If there is a dangerous situation at home that is making her not feel safe, such as abuse or neglect, the police may not return her home, especially if she has found a safer place to stay until she turns 18. It is hard to say how the police would handle her situation, but you can always call your local police non-emergency number and ask what they would do in this situation.
    You clearly care a lot about your girlfriend, and wish you and her the best of luck. Feel free to give us a call if you have any other questions or would like to talk about your situation.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    What do I do if my girlfriend don' fell safe at her own house her family puts her down alot and I really don' want her to be living like that she told me she can' take the stress.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thanks so much for reaching out it seems like a stressful situation for sure. You’ve got things flying at you from a bunch of different directions. It’s tough that your mom doesn’t acknowledge your feelings because she thinks you are just getting back at her ex-husband. It is great that you have friends you feel can be relied upon, and it makes sense to want to make sure they don’t get in trouble because of trying to help you.
    The age of majority in Oklahoma is 18, which means when you turn 18 you will be a legal adult. You mentioned waiting until after graduation to move into your friend’s house. If at that time you are already 18 there shouldn’t be major legal issues there. You may want to check your local laws if you have specific concerns. Calling your local police department and posing hypothetical situations to them may also help to address other concerns if you have them.
    If you aren’t 18 at the time you want to go to your friend’s house, your mom would probably file a runaway report. This just tells the police that you are a runaway and should be brought home if found. It is known as a status offence, and not a criminal one. In this case the parents of your friend would generally be considered to have harbored a runaway, the consequences of that would be on a case-by-case basis so it’s hard to give good information about that. That is only if your mom files a runaway report. So it’s kind of up to her how this pans out. It might be worth asking her about things or it might make things worse so that is up to you how to approach it.
    It seems like you are in a difficult situation, but you at least have some options. You are juggling a lot right now, and it has to be stressful. If you need someone to talk with please call our 24/7 hotline at 1-800- RUNAWAY, or chat with us online.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 17, I live in Oklahoma. My mom and I don't get along very well, she's been through a lot. She has an abusive ex husband which makes it super awkward for me to talk to guys, I'm also bi. She thinks since her ex is abusive and super against anyone who isn't homosexual, that I'm doing this to get back at him. But i can't choose who i like it's just who I am. My best friend wants me to move in with her and her parents when i graduate, and I want too, but I don't want her or her parents getting in trouble because of me. I get in trouble a lot, even though I am trying my best to keep up in school, go to pre-college, and keep up in my hours at work. It's very stressful, and I'm not sure what to do.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching to the National Runaway Safeline. No one should have to endure living in an unsafe home where your health and well-being is threatened. It is important to create a safety action plan to that will support your health, your safety and emotional support. Without knowing exactly where you are located – Here are some national resources for you to contact that may be able to direct you to more local resources.

    Health - You raised the primary issue that your confidentiality is not being respected by your current physician. A resource that you may want to contact to provide you with the necessary testing, define your options, and possible pre-natal care in Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-7526 or www.plannedparenthood.org.

    Safety – When there is abuse in the home there is a lot to consider when reporting to local authorities. You highlighted that local law enforcement was not willing to believe the concerns you have raised. We suggest you start keeping a log of instances of emotional and physical abuse including taking pictures of any visible bruises or scars. This would be useful if it is necessary to involve any local youth supportive agencies such as Child and Family Services. One way to keep this information confidential is to send the log entries to yourself using e-mail and keeping the documents in a separate folder inside your email account. A national youth resource that you may want to discuss the pro’s and cons of child abuse reporting is Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or www.Childhelp.org.

    Emotional Support – By calling the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-Runaway (1-800-786-2929) you can learn more about the resources mentioned above. We also can check our database of over 5000 other local resources around the country that focus on a variety of supportive services including legal aid, youth shelters and transitional housing options, counseling and other emotional assistance for youth in crisis. We are available 24 hours a day by phone. We also are available by accessing our chat feature on our webpage – www.1800-Runaway.org in the after 4:30PM till 11:30PM CST.


    Thank you again for posting your concerns on our public forum. Hopefully other youth going through similar circumstances will gain some insights from your challenges. Let us know how we can be of further support – we are here to listen and here to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm a 17 female and I turn 18 in 7months. My mother and I got in a tuff spot and I ran away almost a week ago, the cops told me I could not run away because I have no reason to run away. When I tried to tell them about the physical and mental abuse that was happening they wouldn't listen. The day after I ran away my mother took my personal belongings such as my phone and computer along with making me go take a 10 Pannell drug test. When I got home from the drug test she hit my foot with a copper cane and started trying to slap me. I kept blocking her and told her she needed to leave my room. The front door to our house opened which meant my dad was home and she automatically stopped. I was sitting on my bed when she was hitting me and my bed goes to my waist. apparently, I left bruises on her legs from kicking, the only thing I did was block her an tell her to leave my room. This is not the first time of physical abuse done by my mother. When my father asked what happened my mother told him I attacked her so she hit me with a copper cane to get me away which was a lie but whatever. My drug test came back that I was clean of all drugs. I am possibly pregnant and she will not take me to the health department in my hometown so I can find out. The doctor I am going to is telling me that I have to be 18 for my parents to leave the room, and he tells my parents everything I say so I can't trust my doctor to help. I'm not sure what I can do to protect me any further and how to go and get the test provided. Any helpful ideas?

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are dealing with a lot of verbal abuse at home that sometimes turns physical. That seems like an incredibly difficult situation, and you so do not deserve to be harmed in anyway.

    You do have the right to report each instance of abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). If CPS investigates and finds the abuse highly dangerous, you would be removed from the household. You do have the right to report verbal abuse, it just can be harder to prove that it is highly dangerous compared to physical abuse. To learn Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

    To answer your questions, if you runaway at 17 your parents could file a runaway report for you with police and if you are found, you typically would be returned home. Once you turn 18, you are typically considered a legal adult and would not be considered a runaway. You might google your state's majority age (the age where you are considered a legal adult and can move out without permission), there are a few states that have majority ages that are older than 18. While running away is not illegal for you; the legal adult who knowingly houses you could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. That is a misdemeanor charge that your guardian would have to press.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation so we can try to brainstorm additional options for you. We are here to listen, here to help.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello,

    I recently turned 17 and i am graduating in may. Once I graduate I am thinking about leaving. I am constantly being verbally abused, I have been hit in the past last occurrence was 12/24/17 around night time. My sister and I take turns cooking Dinner every other night. My mom and dad dont cook very often. We (my sister and I) also do the chores. We have 5 Cats 2 dogs 2 guinea pigs 2 bearded dragons and fish. If I leave before I'm 18 and turn 18 while I am away can I still be counted as a runaway? And can others get in trouble for letting me stay with them.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for writing in. It’s great that you’re trying to support your girlfriend and looking out for her well-being. We’re not legal experts, but as far as we know, one generally needs to be 18 to leave home without consent. If there is abuse going on, however, your girlfriend has the right to file an abuse report through the police, an adult at school (guidance counselor, teacher, etc), or through the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. If your girlfriend is able to get consent to live elsewhere, that might be a good option. She might consider living with a friend, another family member, or even a shelter or transitional living program if her parents/guardians are willing to consent to that. If your girlfriend would like to talk about her situation more specifically, she can reach out to us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I have a question because my girlfriend is 17 I'm 18 she has tried to run away but kept getting caught how can she leave without causing more problems because I know for fact she's even said she's being physically and verbally abused

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to the NRS forum, we hope our response will be helpful.

    It sounds like you and your mom are not on good terms and you’re wanting to be more independent as far as school goes. There is an act called the McKinney-Vento Act and it ensures educational rights and protections for youth who are homeless or runaways (basically youth who are not accompanied by their parents). The act lets youth enroll in new schools or stay in their own, the act also helps students receive free meals. We’re not experts on how the act goes into action, but you can reach out to the National Center for Homelessness Education Helpline (800) 308-2145.

    We also offer conference calling options, between youth and parents, if you ever needed help talking to her about the issues that you two are having. Or we can use our database to find counseling resources too!

    If you want to talk with us more about your situation, we encourage you to call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us on our website. We're always here to listen and help you consider your options.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    can i have my mom take her name off of my school papers and record i am 17 and me and her are not getting a long

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  • ccsmod2
    replied
    You seem really concerned for your boyfriend, which is understandable. He is lucky to have you for support. But, because of his age, your boyfriend may not be able to come and stay with you without his parents permission. If he chooses to leave he would be considered a runaway in most cases and he could potentially be sent back home. Legally his parents would still be responsible for him. If you have further questions about runaway laws you are welcome to call the local non emergency police in your area for more information.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 16 but he will be 17 in november . Could he and his 18 year old sister live with me ? Their family is torn because his dad is cheating on his mom and i feel horrible for them .

    Leave a comment:

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