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17yr old moving out in Oklahoma

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching to the National Runaway Safeline. No one should have to endure living in an unsafe home where your health and well-being is threatened. It is important to create a safety action plan to that will support your health, your safety and emotional support. Without knowing exactly where you are located – Here are some national resources for you to contact that may be able to direct you to more local resources.

    Health - You raised the primary issue that your confidentiality is not being respected by your current physician. A resource that you may want to contact to provide you with the necessary testing, define your options, and possible pre-natal care in Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-7526 or www.plannedparenthood.org.

    Safety – When there is abuse in the home there is a lot to consider when reporting to local authorities. You highlighted that local law enforcement was not willing to believe the concerns you have raised. We suggest you start keeping a log of instances of emotional and physical abuse including taking pictures of any visible bruises or scars. This would be useful if it is necessary to involve any local youth supportive agencies such as Child and Family Services. One way to keep this information confidential is to send the log entries to yourself using e-mail and keeping the documents in a separate folder inside your email account. A national youth resource that you may want to discuss the pro’s and cons of child abuse reporting is Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or www.Childhelp.org.

    Emotional Support – By calling the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-Runaway (1-800-786-2929) you can learn more about the resources mentioned above. We also can check our database of over 5000 other local resources around the country that focus on a variety of supportive services including legal aid, youth shelters and transitional housing options, counseling and other emotional assistance for youth in crisis. We are available 24 hours a day by phone. We also are available by accessing our chat feature on our webpage – www.1800-Runaway.org in the after 4:30PM till 11:30PM CST.


    Thank you again for posting your concerns on our public forum. Hopefully other youth going through similar circumstances will gain some insights from your challenges. Let us know how we can be of further support – we are here to listen and here to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm a 17 female and I turn 18 in 7months. My mother and I got in a tuff spot and I ran away almost a week ago, the cops told me I could not run away because I have no reason to run away. When I tried to tell them about the physical and mental abuse that was happening they wouldn't listen. The day after I ran away my mother took my personal belongings such as my phone and computer along with making me go take a 10 Pannell drug test. When I got home from the drug test she hit my foot with a copper cane and started trying to slap me. I kept blocking her and told her she needed to leave my room. The front door to our house opened which meant my dad was home and she automatically stopped. I was sitting on my bed when she was hitting me and my bed goes to my waist. apparently, I left bruises on her legs from kicking, the only thing I did was block her an tell her to leave my room. This is not the first time of physical abuse done by my mother. When my father asked what happened my mother told him I attacked her so she hit me with a copper cane to get me away which was a lie but whatever. My drug test came back that I was clean of all drugs. I am possibly pregnant and she will not take me to the health department in my hometown so I can find out. The doctor I am going to is telling me that I have to be 18 for my parents to leave the room, and he tells my parents everything I say so I can't trust my doctor to help. I'm not sure what I can do to protect me any further and how to go and get the test provided. Any helpful ideas?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are dealing with a lot of verbal abuse at home that sometimes turns physical. That seems like an incredibly difficult situation, and you so do not deserve to be harmed in anyway.

    You do have the right to report each instance of abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). If CPS investigates and finds the abuse highly dangerous, you would be removed from the household. You do have the right to report verbal abuse, it just can be harder to prove that it is highly dangerous compared to physical abuse. To learn Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

    To answer your questions, if you runaway at 17 your parents could file a runaway report for you with police and if you are found, you typically would be returned home. Once you turn 18, you are typically considered a legal adult and would not be considered a runaway. You might google your state's majority age (the age where you are considered a legal adult and can move out without permission), there are a few states that have majority ages that are older than 18. While running away is not illegal for you; the legal adult who knowingly houses you could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. That is a misdemeanor charge that your guardian would have to press.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation so we can try to brainstorm additional options for you. We are here to listen, here to help.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello,

    I recently turned 17 and i am graduating in may. Once I graduate I am thinking about leaving. I am constantly being verbally abused, I have been hit in the past last occurrence was 12/24/17 around night time. My sister and I take turns cooking Dinner every other night. My mom and dad dont cook very often. We (my sister and I) also do the chores. We have 5 Cats 2 dogs 2 guinea pigs 2 bearded dragons and fish. If I leave before I'm 18 and turn 18 while I am away can I still be counted as a runaway? And can others get in trouble for letting me stay with them.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for writing in. It’s great that you’re trying to support your girlfriend and looking out for her well-being. We’re not legal experts, but as far as we know, one generally needs to be 18 to leave home without consent. If there is abuse going on, however, your girlfriend has the right to file an abuse report through the police, an adult at school (guidance counselor, teacher, etc), or through the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. If your girlfriend is able to get consent to live elsewhere, that might be a good option. She might consider living with a friend, another family member, or even a shelter or transitional living program if her parents/guardians are willing to consent to that. If your girlfriend would like to talk about her situation more specifically, she can reach out to us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I have a question because my girlfriend is 17 I'm 18 she has tried to run away but kept getting caught how can she leave without causing more problems because I know for fact she's even said she's being physically and verbally abused

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to the NRS forum, we hope our response will be helpful.

    It sounds like you and your mom are not on good terms and you’re wanting to be more independent as far as school goes. There is an act called the McKinney-Vento Act and it ensures educational rights and protections for youth who are homeless or runaways (basically youth who are not accompanied by their parents). The act lets youth enroll in new schools or stay in their own, the act also helps students receive free meals. We’re not experts on how the act goes into action, but you can reach out to the National Center for Homelessness Education Helpline (800) 308-2145.

    We also offer conference calling options, between youth and parents, if you ever needed help talking to her about the issues that you two are having. Or we can use our database to find counseling resources too!

    If you want to talk with us more about your situation, we encourage you to call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us on our website. We're always here to listen and help you consider your options.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    can i have my mom take her name off of my school papers and record i am 17 and me and her are not getting a long

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    replied
    You seem really concerned for your boyfriend, which is understandable. He is lucky to have you for support. But, because of his age, your boyfriend may not be able to come and stay with you without his parents permission. If he chooses to leave he would be considered a runaway in most cases and he could potentially be sent back home. Legally his parents would still be responsible for him. If you have further questions about runaway laws you are welcome to call the local non emergency police in your area for more information.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 16 but he will be 17 in november . Could he and his 18 year old sister live with me ? Their family is torn because his dad is cheating on his mom and i feel horrible for them .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for reaching out to use here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re thinking about leaving home, we’re not legal experts here, but can give you some information.

    In Oklahoma the age of majority, where you legally become an adult, is 18. After you turn 18 you are legally an adult and can make your own decisions. If you leave home without your parent’s permission before you turn 18, your parents can file a runaway report with the police. The police may investigate, and can return you home, but enforcement varies in each locality. The best way to find out how the police might enforce in your situation, being very close to turning 18, is to call the local police non-emergency number during regular hours and ask them. The call can be made confidentially, we can also help with the call if you call us here on our 24/7 Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
    There is a lot to think about if you leave home. You need a safe place to stay, and a way to support yourself. It’s good you are thinking these things through. You also should have ID, like an ID card, social security card, and birth certificate. If you would like to talk about your options, you can call us here 24/7, or chat with us through our website during chat hours.

    Again, it’s really good you are thinking your options through. Stay safe, and best of luck. We’ll look forward to hearing from you.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 17 4 months from being 18 my mom is makeing it to were i cant leave do anything at all even get a job without her jumping onto me ive tried to go get my license and she wizzed out on me ... i waant to know if i can legally move out and get my own apartment and stuff and live on my own with a roommate of mine who is about to turn 18 too

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello Jessica,

    Thanks for reaching out to us for help. We are so sorry to hear about your situation with your dad. You don't deserve to be threatened, and it sounds like a very stressful and scary environment to live in. It is totally understandable that you would want to move out and live with your mom. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. It sounds like your father has threatened to seriously hurt you. If you feel that you are being abused, you always have the option of filing an abuse report with your local child protective services. You can call Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline, at 1-800-422-4453 or go to www.childhelp.org for more information about this option. If you do move out without your dad's permission, since you are under 18 he could involve the police. We are not legal experts, however we can give you some general info. If he were to report you as a runaway to law enforcement, police may search for you and force you to return to your father's home. There is also a chance that your mom could get into trouble for harboring a runaway if your dad tries to press charges against her. Since you are 17, sometimes police departments may not use resources to make a youth who is turning 18 soon return home. This doesn't mean that it is legal to move out, and this can differ based on your location and the details of your situation. One option could be to call your local law enforcement non-emergency number to ask if they would take a runaway report for a 17 year old, or if they would make you go home if you are in a safe place with a non-custodial parent. Asking these questions could give you a sense of what you could expect in terms of police response if your dad were to report you missing. If you need to talk or you want to talk through your options and get help making a plan, please don't hesitate to give us a call any time. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    17 and need to move out asap. I'm Jessica and I live with my father and we use to be really close well we aren't anymore and he threatens me sometimes saying he will choke me or knock me out and I came to visit my mom and he's been short an rude with me since not even talking to me unless it's to fight and at home he always ignores me and is all about his girlfriend and her kids I'm always in trouble for literally nothing and I want to know if it would be okay if I live with my mom without my dads consent?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out and posting. If you are under the age of 18 and leave the home without permission, your parents can file a runaway report. A runaway report is considered a status offense, so not a misdemeanor or felony or anything that would go on your record. If they decided to make a runaway report and the police find you, they would likely send you back home. If the police find you and someone is helping you runaway, that person could technically get in trouble with the police for harboring a runaway. We encourage you to call us at 1800-786-2929 if you need more support, or if you would like to explore more options. Thanks, NRS
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