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17yr old moving out in Oklahoma

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  • #46
    Reply: Hello, I am 17 I turn 18

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like there has been some big differences between you and your mother over what sounds like her abusive behavior. We understand the difficulty of your situation and how frustrating it has become for you.
    You don’t deserve to be treated badly and it is certainly not your fault that this is happening. Sometimes things become overwhelming and due to the stress it might become difficult to cope or know where to turn for help. Things may feel bleak right now but you did well reaching out today. It sounds like you have been very responsible in your school work to which you should feel proud of. Let us know how we might help.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. If you would like to speak more about your situation and explore options, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

    You did a good job reaching out today. We hope that things change for the better.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #47
      so im 17 and live in oklahoma and i dont get along with my parents me and my girlfriend are planning on moving in with her mom in joplin. what would happen there

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home has you thinking about running away. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for “harboring a minor” if your parents file a report and if your girlfriend’s family doesn’t cooperate with the police. Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

        If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

        One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your family why you want to go live with your girlfriend. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

        Wish you the best
        -NRS.

    • #48
      I am 17 years old. I live in Oklahoma. My dad is emotionally abusive to me. My mom refuses to help me get away from him. I am afraid one day he might physically abuse me when he finally loses his mind. I am thinking about attempting suicide so I can finally get some help but I would rather run away ASAP before I do that.

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are sorry you are dealing with all of this. Any type of abuse is not acceptable and it must be difficult to deal with. If you wish to make an abuse report you can call the Child Help Line at: 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making an abuse report can be scary if you would like our help please give us a call. Also at any time you can always call the police.
        You mentioned thoughts of attempting suicide and running away. We want you to know that you are valuable and you are worth living. There is always someone willing to listen and provide support. You can always call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. You can always call us as well and we would be happy to provide support and listen. You also mentioned running away, we are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws. If you were to run away your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police found you and thought it was safe for you to return home they most likely would bring you home. Another option you may consider is talking to your school counselor about what is going on. Sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better, Also trying out a hobby you enjoy may also make your situation a little bit better.
        We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
        NRS

    • #49
      So I’m 17 years old and my mom kicked me out , if she files me as a runaway what will happen if they catch me ?

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out. We are sorry to hear that your mom kicked you out and then might turn around and try to file you as a runaway? No one deserves to be treated like that.

        If your mom files you as a runaway and the police locate you, they will likely either tell you to return home or they may take you there. It is not illegal to run away. Running away (having a runaway report on file) is considered a status offense, so not a misdemeanor or felony or anything that would go on your record.

        If you'd like to talk in more detail about your situation or have any questions please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org) as we can best help by phone or chat. Best, NRS

    • #50
      I am 17 I live in Oklahoma, I have a child who is 3 months old, can I move out without being returned if they call the cops? I need to move out and I have a safe place to go to. I also have a job and go to school if that helps any.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Based on your story the answer depends simply on how close you are to 18 if you are super close like a month or two away you should be okay. Another factor is if you are being abused or neglected or if the baby is in any kind of trouble. You can file a report with the police and then you would probably be okay. If it is more of a situation where you just want to move out the cops probably will take you back home. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS

    • #51
      I’m 17 I turn 18 in March I have had a job since I was 15 I have my own car and pay my own bills I want to live with my mom but my dad won’t let me but him and his wife said I was ruining their marriage and they can’t wait for me to be out I’ve been begging to be taken to the dr and stuff and he still hasn’t taken me but I’m ready to be out of that house and I’m going to my moms wensday regardless of what they say what will the police do if I leave a note stating I’m going to live with my mom

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. You might have a chance if you talk about it with your mom and call the police ahead of time to see if they might not do anything to bring you home since you are headed to your mom’s house and she is also a guardian. more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #52
      Hi, I am 17 with a 11 month old. I recently got my CNA license. Sadly I was fired and now I owe the nursing home a lot of money. I was given a month to find a job. Mind you I live in a small town that is racist and I have applied to every place I possibly can apply to. Everyone keeps saying I'm legally able to move out without my moms consent but I don't think it's true. I have a job back down in Arkansas, where I came from, and all I had to do was switch my license to Arkansas. I stay in Oklahoma right now. I have called police hotlines in OK and all they said was try to wait it out and try to get the money paid off and if not they said they can't stop me from going back down there. My mom thinks I dont have a place to stay and that I wont be able to take care of my son. I have a job offer at the nursing home down there were I worked for 5 months before my mom moved us up here with her now ex bf. I sleep on my moms new bf's couch with my son. I sometimes wake up with knots on my hips bc its a broken down couch. I know the police can't force me back home but I was wondering if I could leave bc I have a son. Even thought I was fired I still have money left over from my last check but money keeps getting stolen from me. My sons food keeps coming up missing bc my siblings keep eating it. I just wanna know if I can leave. Thx

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. After going over your story it might be a good idea to contact us through the phone and we can further help you and find places to help out. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS

    • #53
      hi i'm 17 , i will be 18 in exactly 30 days but i can no longer take the verbal abuse from my mom ... i would like to leave w/o her permission ... i'm really sick and tired of being controlled if not controlled criticized , i'd like to be happy for once in my life again but i don't know my legal rights

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        We are sorry to hear you are being verbally abused by your mom -- that is truly something you do not deserve. It's really too bad you aren't being given the sort of respect and care that should be your birthright. Hopefully the abuse will stop, but till then it is very understandable that you would want to leave the situation.

        Just so you know, you do have the legal right to file an abuse report. Whether that's something you feel is best is up to you. We support you no matter what, of course.

        As to your other rights: since you are a minor till you are 18, if you do decide to leave without permission your mom can file a runaway report on you. Sometimes the local police may not take (or take very seriously) runaway reports for youth that are very close to turning 18. You can always call the local police non-emergency number and ask them if they accept runaway reports for 17 year olds.

        Whether you decide to leave or not, you might want to consider things like: where you would go, how you would have your needs provided for, how this would affect your schooling and future, and how your mom might react. We'd like to work with you to help you figure out what you think your best course of action would look like. The best way for us to do that is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our website's main page: www.1800runaway.org. Also know that we have a large database of resources that we might be able to connect you with: shelters, counseling agencies, legal resources, and the like. We're here 24/7 and are confidential. We hope to hear from you soon.

        Good luck and stay safe!
        Last edited by ccsmod15; 12-25-2019, 03:22 PM.

    • #54
      thank you so much for the info but my boyfriends family welcomed me into their home already and i also do online school and work so i'd be a okay.

      Comment


      • #55
        Okay I’m 17, I live in ok. I have been trying to get out of my parents house for two years. They won’t let me leave. I left one night and came home the next and they filed for a runaway. I need to know if since I’m turning 18 in May if I can just leave and continue going to school without them making me come home. I’m financially stable on my own and I pay my own car insurance (car is paid off) and my phone and any other bills. So can the pd force me to come home if I leave? I hate it here. Your home is supposed to be your escape, but all I want is to escape this place.

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

          Generally speaking if you leave home without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home. However, some police departments are more lenient when the young person is 17 and do not always force them home. You can call the local police department's non-emergency number to ask anonymous questions about their protocol. It can be helpful to phrase questions as if you are a parent to get more straightforward information, "My 17 year old left home, can I report him as a runaway?", "If you find where he is staying, will you force him to go back home?"

          There is a law called the Mckinney-Vento act which protects your right to education as a runaway. You can certainly continue going to school and you can even ask your school counselor about finding the Mckinney-Vento Liason if you need any additional support. If a runaway report is made for you, the school will not necessarily report you to the police or your parents, but your parents can call to ask if you have been attending.

          If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore your options further, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • #56
        I am 17, will be 18 in 5 months, and I want to move out. I have been verbally threatened for about 5 years. My parents are controlling me from how I do my hair to what I wear. My boyfriend want to help me,but I don't want to get him in trouble. Im scared to stay at my house and tired of my parents.

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your parents. It's great that you have your boyfriend as a support system though. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
          While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could include your boyfriend if he helps you before you turn 18. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

          Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • #57
        I am 16 but will turn 17 in a few months when I was a kid I reported my parents for child abuse and got adopted by a new family me and my sisters lived with this new family but the mom is extremely emotionally abusive often telling my sister they are sluts and they should kill themselves she eventually kicked them out and now that same anger is toward me and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it because I dont want her to get in legal trouble because she did take me in when nobody would but at the same time she treats me like this and idk what to do and have thought of running away

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out today and telling us a bit about what’s going on with your mom. We’re always here for you and will help in any way we can. You’re not alone in this, please feel free to chat with us on our website or call into our safeline if you’d like to talk more.

          We are so sorry that you’ve been through so much pain in your life. It was so brave of you to stand up for yourself and against the abuse you went though as a kid. You absolutely don’t deserve to be in another abusive household. The way your foster mom treats you and your sister is not acceptable. After all you’ve been through, you two deserve to be loved and to feel safe. If you want to report your foster mom for her abuse, Child Help (800) 422-4453 or www.childhelp.org is always available, as are we. We can also try to get you connected with some legal aid resources, they may know about options to get your custody transferred or so you can move out early. We are here to brainstorm with you and help you and your sister in any way we can.

          If you feel like running away is your best option, then we are also here to make sure you stay safe. We can look to see if there’s any runaway shelters in your area, if you want to give us a call or chat with us.

          Again, thanks for reaching out to us, it was very brave. Please call or chat with us on our website if you’d like to talk more about what’s going on at home. There may be options or other resources that could help you. You’re not alone!

          Stay strong, NRS

      • #58
        Hello I’m 17 and I live in Oklahoma. I’ve been dealing with a lot of things at home with my mom and her boyfriend. I’ve been verbally abused by my mom. I’ve been working since I was 13 and made my own money but my mom and her boyfriend would take it from me and if I didn’t give it to them my mom would threaten to beat me. I can’t deal with all the pressure anymore and I’m so depressed. I have seen where you guys have said to call our local police department but I don’t really feel comfortable doing that and I was wanting to know if you would call --- county and ---- county police department and see what their rules are for a 17 year old run away. Thank you so much for your time
        Last edited by ccsmod16; 05-14-2020, 10:05 PM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod16
          ccsmod16 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi ,
          Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things have been very difficult and stressful for you for a long time and it is understandable to want to leave. It is not fair that they take the money you work for and we are sorry that you are going through this. It is brave to reach out for help and to talk about things that hurt.

          We deleted the name of the town you live in to protect your anonymity. Each time someone reaches out to us, we help them with their specific problem and we want to do that for you. We can call the police department that you mentioned, but putting the reply on a public message board isn’t the best way to handle it. Talking with you and hearing more about your plan is a better way for us to help, no matter how the police might reply.

          The best way for us to help is by listening to you and helping to figure out some options to help. We are here for you 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org
          We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.
          Sincerely,
          NRS

      • #59
        My mother and I haven't ever been completely in sync, like ever. Ever since I turned ten my mom has acted like I was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She started to hit me when I turned 13 saying things like "We have a whole different set of rules because we're black." I want to move in with my boyfriend and my best friend who treat me like family, There are four other kids in this house and I just learned my mother does drugs, she blames me but a family friend shared that she has a past with this so it's not all my fault. She says that if I try to leave she'll put me in a group home and my step-dad wants to have me admitted because I asked about it what can I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          First, thanks for reaching out to us. We are here to help in whatever way we can. You don't deserve to be abused and we are sorry your mom is treating you wrongly. If you want to make an abuse report, you can do that through us, through your states' child abuse reporting hotline, or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. We never tell anyone what to do, but that is your right and it possibly could lead to you being separated from your mom.

          As for leaving home: if you did so without permission your mom could file a runaway report on you. Running away isn't a crime, but it is a status offense like breaking curfew. However, anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor in most localities.

          One alternative to running away would be to simply ask your parents if you could live elsewhere. If they grant you permission you may want to get it in writing. Of course, even if they give you permission to live somewhere else, they do have the right to ask you to come home at any time. If you do decide to ask them if you could leave you may want to give your request some thought beforehand and think of a good time to ask them. Maybe you could even try to persuade them that they might be better off if you lived somewhere else. These are just some ideas. You know your situation best.
          Another option would be to try to seek emancipation before you turn 18. This is usually a lengthy process and involves getting a lawyer and going through the court system. Usually you have to prove that you are able to provide for your own physical, emotional, and educational needs and that you are mature enough to make this decision. In most states you still have to be at least 16 or 17 in order to file for emancipation. If you’d like more information on emancipation for your state you can contact us by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We can then forward you a legal aid resource for your state that can answer whatever questions you have about emancipation.

          We hope this information helps. Please contact us if you’d like to talk about your situation some more. There may be other options that we can think of if we work together. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and you can chat with us at www.1800ruanway.org. We’re confidential, never tell you what to do, and are a safe place to talk.

          All the best,
          NRS
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