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17yr old moving out in Oklahoma

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  • #31
    My step daughter is 17 and will be 18 in janJanu. She's with her boyfriend everyday and says because she doesnt have her own room but I know that's not it it's because she loves been with him. We let her because we don't want her to feel like we are controlling her. Her dad is sad she's moving out but I tell him let her go. We got custody of her and her brother about 2 years ago because there mom was very verable to them and the lived in a shed. Says she has nothing here because she doesn't have a room. She be moving out in January when she's 18 and says we can't stop here. Qhat to do

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    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safe line. It sounds like you are very concerned for your step daughter and her plans to move out on her 18th birthday. We want you to know that we are here to offer whatever support we can.

      We are not legal experts however, in your state an individual is no longer considered a minor at age 18. It is true that when she turns 18 years old she does have the liberty to make that decision. However you may want to consider asking some safety questions such as, “Where will you go if you move out”, “How will you keep yourself safe,” “How do you plan to provide for yourself?” Another option to possibly consider is maybe do a bit of negotiating with your step daughter. You could possibly discuss with your daughter what she feels would need to happen or change for her to agree to stick around a little bit longer and see how you and your husband feel about it. Also, please feel free to hand over our hotline number to your step daughter and we’ll be more than glad to speak with her at any time in regards to anything she would like to speak about.

      Again, we are very happy that you reached out to us. Seeking out for help is such a courageous thing to do and it appears you are trying to figure out your best options and that is certainly a great thing to hear. If you would like to talk further, please do not hesitate to reach out to us whether through call, chat, or email. We are here to help 24-7, 7 days a week.

  • #32
    I will be turning 17 in 2 months and my guardian ( aka grandmother) is kicking me out soon and the rest of my family said I wasn’t allowed at their home. But they said if I wasn’t emancipated that they would call DHS and I’m not sure what to do. I have a steady job and I’m applying for another tomorrow. But if I did leave on my birthday would I be able to get an apartment with my boyfriend?

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    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you reaching out us here at NRS! We understand you must be going through a difficult time and that you have chosen to reach out us is a big thing. Our hope is to provide you with the tools necessary to make the best decision that is best for you.
      Though we are not legal experts from what we can gather about your story is that your family has been really hard on you. We are very sorry to hear that. As far as the situation you find yourself in, because you are so close to 18 your family can call DHS but because you would be so close to 18. A good tip perhaps is to start saving that way when you turn 18 you and your boyfriend could afford to move into an apartment. There are many sites you can use in order to find housing options. A google search would definitely help get you started in the right direction. Know that once you are 18 you are an adult and therefore no one can make choices for you any longer.
      Again we want to commend you for seeking help and contacting us here at NRS. We know it takes a lot to be seeking us out. Our hope is that we have given you enough tips and resources to help you in your current situation. If for any reason you have questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org)
      Best Wishes-NRS

  • #33
    I'm 17 and I want to move out in February, I have a job but I get paid minimum wage, I am planning on saving up til then. I should also be finish with school by then. I am going to move in with someone, my parents are somewhat okay with it. The thing is I have personally been through some things and i still need help finding an apartment

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    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Cameron,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are glad to hear that you have made plans for your future. Having a structured plan of how you want things to go when you move out can be beneficial for success.
      It is great that you would like to move out in February but one thing that you might want to keep in mind is the age of majority in your state. We know that you mentioned that you are going to wait until you have graduated from high school but in some states that might not be enough. In most states the age of majority is 18. We are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian. Leaving home without parental consent (running away) is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you. If you do leave home without permission your guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department. If you would like we could contact your local non-emergency number for you or with you. Just give us a call and one of our trained liners would be happy to assist you.
      Additionally, since you mentioned that are having a hard time finding a roommate it could be helpful to put a post on your social media accounts or using a local newspaper or community board. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #34
    My son wants to leave home at age 17 and 3 months? Will I be held liable if he leaves home? He wants to move out of state and in with a girlfriend. He doesn't turn 18 until August 2018. We live in Oklahoma.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

      You do have the right to give him permission to live away from home, especially with him being so close to 18. You would still be his legal guardian until he turns 18. If you are worried about being liable for him, you can also give a legal adult temporary guardianship of him; which looks like having a temporary guardianship agreement signed by both parties and notarized. You also have the right to report him as a runaway if he leaves without permission. It is hard to say if police would actively respond to it due to his age, but it is a possibility that he could be returned home once reported. Reporting him as a runaway if he leaves without permission would also make you not liable for his actions while away.

      We hope this information was helpful. Please call 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us if you would like to talk in detail about your situation. We are here for youth and their families alike!

      Best,

      NRS

  • #35

    hi i am 15 can i legally move out if my are parents are OK with it

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Our hope is provide you with resources and tools that will help you find the best decision for you. From what we gather about your story please know that if you under 18 and go anywhere else other than you parent’s home you can be file as a runaway with the police. A good way to not be in those types of problems is by having your parents sign off on a legal document stating that they are giving consent and if need be giving guardianship over to the people who are going to be in charge of you.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #36
    I am going to be 17 in about a week and would like to know if it would be possible to move out of state to live with my grandma without my dad's permission. My dad's wife is mentally abusive, but he does not want to leave her cause of the little boy they have together. I love my brother and dad but living with my step mom is tiring. Always hearing ******** about me from her, nothing I do pleases her. I need to leave if at all possible.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us, it seems like a difficult situation and you seem like you have a tough choice here.

      If you do move out to your grandma’s without getting permission then your father will have the right to file a runaway report. This is not a criminal offence, it is known as a status offence. In this case if the police find you they would simply bring you home. Your grandma may be at risk of legal consequences, known as harboring a runaway, even if she is family. This is especially true if you have crossed state lines. You may want to reach out to a local police station anonymously to ask about what might happen as we are not legal experts. It seems like the biggest reason you want to leave is to avoid contact with your dad’s wife. You may want to consider other ways to avoid having to deal with her by staying out of the house for longer periods. Some examples would be a school club, going to a friends’ house after school, or even an afterschool job. This may help to get you through until you turn 18 in another year. Last you may consider looking into emancipation, which could allow you to choose where you live or to allow you to live on your own.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like additional help. We are always here for you.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #37
    I'm 17 years old I have a job am I allowed to move out of my parents house!

    Comment


    • #38
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #39
        I’m 17 years old and I live in Oklahoma. I currently have an almost 3 year old. I live with my parents but I pay for everything. I want to move out. I just don’t want my parents to fight for custody or file me as a runaway, the only way I can get emancipated is if I go through court legalizing saying that I can live apart from my parents and provide for me and and my daughter but how am I suppose to do that if the law says a minor under 18 is classified as a runaway if they leave home even though I have a child myself.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a frustrating time and we will do our best to help you through this difficult time. We are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws. Because you are a minor if you were to leave home without permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. Unfortunately with the emancipation process a lot of times it requires parent’s approval or the court stating you can be emancipated. The emancipation process can take 6 months or a year so it may take longer if you turn 18 in the next year. One option for you could be to call out to your local non-emergency police department and ask them how they would handle a situation similar to yours.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck in your situation, stay strong you are not alone.
          NRS

      • #40
        My girlfriend is 16. Her mom has multiple dhs cases filed against her for child endangerment and verbal and physical child abuse. She has had enough and wants to know if she can live with me and my family. My parents have said they will take care of her. Pay for her education and get her a job. She lives with her grandma and her grandma is verbally mentally abusive and she has had enough. We can prove to be a good household for her. A better one. She doesn’t even live with her parental and legal guardian like I said. She has proved to provide on her own. Overall this is a better place for her. In her honest opinion. Will I get in trouble for taking her away? If he grandma reports a run away. But her mom is the legal parent guardian? Will she be forced to go back home. Even though I’ll be taking he to Colorado. Since she lives in Oklahoma (we recently moved).
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 03-14-2019, 03:17 AM.

        Comment


        • #41
          Reply: My girlfriend is 16

          Hello,
          Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

          We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear that your friend is being abused by her family. She does not deserve this to be happening. It is not her fault. She is fortunate to have support from you and your family.
          18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian.
          We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. Since she is under 18 a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police.
          What actions the police take once the report is filed can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in her case.
          Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in the case there may be abuse, child protective services is an option for safety. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the law is to call your local police non -emergency number and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. To report child abuse contact Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453
          This is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
          If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          Take care,
          NRS


          We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #42
            So my mom never spends anytime with me amd my brother. Were both wanting to live with our dad. Im 17 and he is 15. All she does is go to work. Comes home and locks herself in her room. She always yells at us and says we never do anything right. She always looks at the bad in things and never looks in the good in things. We want to move out in may. Can we do that?

            Comment


            • ccsmod0
              ccsmod0 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,
              Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It must be hard to live in a home where your parents do not spend any time with you. Spending family time together is really import to help build the bonds within the family. You mentioned that you and your little brother have been thinking about going to live with your dad. This could be easily done if you can get your mother and father to agree to these terms. If not then you might have to go to family court to get negotiate the living arrangement.
              Best of luck,
              NRS

          • #43
            my mom has kicked me out multiple times again and again. she makes me feel unwanted and not loved at all. i've told her this and she doesn't evem try to fix it. I tell her how im unstable in the house and around my family. and how i NEED to leave. t's all so draining. I am 17 years old and i dont think i can make it till 18 without hating her. and i don't want to do that at all. I just think it's safe to not be around her until we fix the issue. But she has no intention on fixing the issues. I was planning on walking out with my stuff two days after she told me to leave and not come back,, but i stayed because i knew she'd regret it. but i don't care at this point anymore. i need to leave. so i had my duffle bags packed and was about to leave but when I came home from school she took them and told me i wasnt leaviing. so we sat that and argued and i continued to tell her how i feel but she didnt care. She even called her cop friend and he said that i LEGALLY cant leave with out her permision. So i feel like if i did leave she would call him and i'd have no choice but to come back. So what do I do then.

            Comment


            • ccsmod0
              ccsmod0 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,
              Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to live in a house where you don’t feel loved. We want you to know that your mother kicking you out is considered neglect, which is reportable to Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
              You are so courageous for telling your mother how you have been feeling- that couldn’t have been easy. We know that you mentioned that you do not think that you will be able to survive in that house until you are 18. It could be a good idea to try and get involved in activities that would keep you out of the house like an after school club or getting a part time job. On top of keeping you out of your toxic household having healthy activities can take your mind off of the troubles at home and help you in the future.
              We understand that this must be a difficult situation for you and if you would like to talk more about what is going on at home please know that we are available to talk 24/7
              1-800-786-2929

          • #44
            Hi, I am a 17-year-old girl and I will be turning 18 in 7 months but I am still a high school student but I am only a sophomore. The other day and my family got into a really big argument because I got in the car with my boyfriend and apparently that was a known rule but they didn't say that until after the fact. my sister was in the car with us. That night I got in trouble for getting into his car . That night I got in trouble, I talked to my teacher the next day and she had to talk to my counselor who then talks to DHS then DHS showed up to my house 2 weeks later and said that they could not remove me from my house because they did not see it as abusive or anything like that have had multiple conversations with my dad and him saying that he does not care anymore and that I could move out if I really wanted to but my mom per se would not like that but she's not my actual mom would she still have authority over me? I have a biological mother that I have never met I have read stories about her know that I have two younger siblings that live with her. Would there be a possibility that I could go live with herI'm also thinking about running away from my home? I don't know what to do so I'm reaching out to you guys.

            Comment


            • ccsmod2
              ccsmod2 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you so much for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and to help. You’re taking a great first step by reaching out for help with your situation. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress, between being bullied at school and your father’s strictness, it makes sense why you would be feeling the way you are. It must be very frustrating to feel like you cannot communicate properly with your dad or set sensible expectations, and being teased at school over things you cannot control is unfair treatment you do not deserve. It sounds like it might help to have someone to chat with on a more regular basis about the stressors you’re facing and how to cope with them. It’s great that you have your mother and little brother for support, but it sounds like additional support might be beneficial. Perhaps reaching out to your school counselor would be helpful? Or perhaps a trusted teacher or adult that you could confide in, or a good friend. If none of those ideas sound like options, it might be worth looking into seeing a counselor. Unfortunately we are not able to provide resources through forum posts, but if you call us or chat with us via messenger through our website, we can help explore additional options for you. Our website is www.1800runaway.org, and our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Please chat or call us at any time, we are here to help!

          • #45
            Hello, I am 17 I turn 18 on July 2nd recently my mom has been stealing money from me, calling me names, verbally abusing me, and threatening to kick me out I am good student in school having a 4.0 I am a class officer and her actions are starting to bring down my school work I want to leave so bad to brighten my future I have several homes that are opened to me, but am unaware of my rights only being 17 I am told numerous times throughout the day that I am a worthless ********** because I will not give my mom money, I am tired of feeling like such a letdown and crying myself to sleep for thinking no one wants me I have open arms everywhere and places to stay. I am however afraid that my mother will report me and I will be sent back home and the verbal abuse will become physical I have never left my house without permission not even to go to the store or get gas I don’t know what to do and I need help... I want out it’s tearing me down and with High school being so close to an end I don’t want my school to suffer because of my mother My parents are also divorced, I don’t want to live with my dad, but honestly anything is better than the way I am treated at home.
            Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-11-2019, 02:57 AM.

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