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17yr old moving out in Oklahoma

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  • #16
    Hi I have a question because my girlfriend is 17 I'm 18 she has tried to run away but kept getting caught how can she leave without causing more problems because I know for fact she's even said she's being physically and verbally abused

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for writing in. It’s great that you’re trying to support your girlfriend and looking out for her well-being. We’re not legal experts, but as far as we know, one generally needs to be 18 to leave home without consent. If there is abuse going on, however, your girlfriend has the right to file an abuse report through the police, an adult at school (guidance counselor, teacher, etc), or through the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. If your girlfriend is able to get consent to live elsewhere, that might be a good option. She might consider living with a friend, another family member, or even a shelter or transitional living program if her parents/guardians are willing to consent to that. If your girlfriend would like to talk about her situation more specifically, she can reach out to us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Best of luck.

  • #17
    Hello,

    I recently turned 17 and i am graduating in may. Once I graduate I am thinking about leaving. I am constantly being verbally abused, I have been hit in the past last occurrence was 12/24/17 around night time. My sister and I take turns cooking Dinner every other night. My mom and dad dont cook very often. We (my sister and I) also do the chores. We have 5 Cats 2 dogs 2 guinea pigs 2 bearded dragons and fish. If I leave before I'm 18 and turn 18 while I am away can I still be counted as a runaway? And can others get in trouble for letting me stay with them.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are dealing with a lot of verbal abuse at home that sometimes turns physical. That seems like an incredibly difficult situation, and you so do not deserve to be harmed in anyway.

      You do have the right to report each instance of abuse to Child Protective Services (CPS). If CPS investigates and finds the abuse highly dangerous, you would be removed from the household. You do have the right to report verbal abuse, it just can be harder to prove that it is highly dangerous compared to physical abuse. To learn Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

      To answer your questions, if you runaway at 17 your parents could file a runaway report for you with police and if you are found, you typically would be returned home. Once you turn 18, you are typically considered a legal adult and would not be considered a runaway. You might google your state's majority age (the age where you are considered a legal adult and can move out without permission), there are a few states that have majority ages that are older than 18. While running away is not illegal for you; the legal adult who knowingly houses you could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. That is a misdemeanor charge that your guardian would have to press.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation so we can try to brainstorm additional options for you. We are here to listen, here to help.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #18
    I'm a 17 female and I turn 18 in 7months. My mother and I got in a tuff spot and I ran away almost a week ago, the cops told me I could not run away because I have no reason to run away. When I tried to tell them about the physical and mental abuse that was happening they wouldn't listen. The day after I ran away my mother took my personal belongings such as my phone and computer along with making me go take a 10 Pannell drug test. When I got home from the drug test she hit my foot with a copper cane and started trying to slap me. I kept blocking her and told her she needed to leave my room. The front door to our house opened which meant my dad was home and she automatically stopped. I was sitting on my bed when she was hitting me and my bed goes to my waist. apparently, I left bruises on her legs from kicking, the only thing I did was block her an tell her to leave my room. This is not the first time of physical abuse done by my mother. When my father asked what happened my mother told him I attacked her so she hit me with a copper cane to get me away which was a lie but whatever. My drug test came back that I was clean of all drugs. I am possibly pregnant and she will not take me to the health department in my hometown so I can find out. The doctor I am going to is telling me that I have to be 18 for my parents to leave the room, and he tells my parents everything I say so I can't trust my doctor to help. I'm not sure what I can do to protect me any further and how to go and get the test provided. Any helpful ideas?

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching to the National Runaway Safeline. No one should have to endure living in an unsafe home where your health and well-being is threatened. It is important to create a safety action plan to that will support your health, your safety and emotional support. Without knowing exactly where you are located – Here are some national resources for you to contact that may be able to direct you to more local resources.

      Health - You raised the primary issue that your confidentiality is not being respected by your current physician. A resource that you may want to contact to provide you with the necessary testing, define your options, and possible pre-natal care in Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-7526 or www.plannedparenthood.org.

      Safety – When there is abuse in the home there is a lot to consider when reporting to local authorities. You highlighted that local law enforcement was not willing to believe the concerns you have raised. We suggest you start keeping a log of instances of emotional and physical abuse including taking pictures of any visible bruises or scars. This would be useful if it is necessary to involve any local youth supportive agencies such as Child and Family Services. One way to keep this information confidential is to send the log entries to yourself using e-mail and keeping the documents in a separate folder inside your email account. A national youth resource that you may want to discuss the pro’s and cons of child abuse reporting is Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or www.Childhelp.org.

      Emotional Support – By calling the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-Runaway (1-800-786-2929) you can learn more about the resources mentioned above. We also can check our database of over 5000 other local resources around the country that focus on a variety of supportive services including legal aid, youth shelters and transitional housing options, counseling and other emotional assistance for youth in crisis. We are available 24 hours a day by phone. We also are available by accessing our chat feature on our webpage – www.1800-Runaway.org in the after 4:30PM till 11:30PM CST.


      Thank you again for posting your concerns on our public forum. Hopefully other youth going through similar circumstances will gain some insights from your challenges. Let us know how we can be of further support – we are here to listen and here to help.

  • #19
    I'm 17, I live in Oklahoma. My mom and I don't get along very well, she's been through a lot. She has an abusive ex husband which makes it super awkward for me to talk to guys, I'm also bi. She thinks since her ex is abusive and super against anyone who isn't homosexual, that I'm doing this to get back at him. But i can't choose who i like it's just who I am. My best friend wants me to move in with her and her parents when i graduate, and I want too, but I don't want her or her parents getting in trouble because of me. I get in trouble a lot, even though I am trying my best to keep up in school, go to pre-college, and keep up in my hours at work. It's very stressful, and I'm not sure what to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, thanks so much for reaching out it seems like a stressful situation for sure. You’ve got things flying at you from a bunch of different directions. It’s tough that your mom doesn’t acknowledge your feelings because she thinks you are just getting back at her ex-husband. It is great that you have friends you feel can be relied upon, and it makes sense to want to make sure they don’t get in trouble because of trying to help you.
      The age of majority in Oklahoma is 18, which means when you turn 18 you will be a legal adult. You mentioned waiting until after graduation to move into your friend’s house. If at that time you are already 18 there shouldn’t be major legal issues there. You may want to check your local laws if you have specific concerns. Calling your local police department and posing hypothetical situations to them may also help to address other concerns if you have them.
      If you aren’t 18 at the time you want to go to your friend’s house, your mom would probably file a runaway report. This just tells the police that you are a runaway and should be brought home if found. It is known as a status offence, and not a criminal one. In this case the parents of your friend would generally be considered to have harbored a runaway, the consequences of that would be on a case-by-case basis so it’s hard to give good information about that. That is only if your mom files a runaway report. So it’s kind of up to her how this pans out. It might be worth asking her about things or it might make things worse so that is up to you how to approach it.
      It seems like you are in a difficult situation, but you at least have some options. You are juggling a lot right now, and it has to be stressful. If you need someone to talk with please call our 24/7 hotline at 1-800- RUNAWAY, or chat with us online.

  • #20
    What do I do if my girlfriend don' fell safe at her own house her family puts her down alot and I really don' want her to be living like that she told me she can' take the stress.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a lot at home. She deserves to feel safe there.
      As a minor, your girlfriend is required to live at home with her parents or guardian, unless she has permission from them to live elsewhere. If she gets permission to live somewhere other than her home, she can live somewhere she feels safer. If she leaves home without parental permission, her parents can file a runaway report which means she would just be returned back home if she was picked up by the police.
      If there is a dangerous situation at home that is making her not feel safe, such as abuse or neglect, the police may not return her home, especially if she has found a safer place to stay until she turns 18. It is hard to say how the police would handle her situation, but you can always call your local police non-emergency number and ask what they would do in this situation.
      You clearly care a lot about your girlfriend, and wish you and her the best of luck. Feel free to give us a call if you have any other questions or would like to talk about your situation.

  • #21
    I am also 17 and my mom has made it very clear that she doesnt want me in the house. Im a junior in High school and she is looking to move to arkansas and getting a smaller house that wont even have a room for me. She wants me to be super independent but since i live under her roof i have to live by her rules. I have a job, good grades, and i am very responsible. The only thing she provides is a room for me to stay in and my truck. I mostly stay with my friend anyways and i never eat at home, so losing the truck and room are not my biggest concern since i have a job and can save up for a new vehicle and live with my friend. Would it be illegal for me to move out of my moms house and to live with my friend and her parents until i turn 18 and can get my own apartment? i live in fairview oklahoma and i dont exactly know the laws on this sort of thing so i thought id give a lot of details for the best answer to my question.

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re having some difficulties with your mother, and we hope that our response helps.

      We’re really glad to hear you’re so independent in spite of your mother’s rules. Having good grades and a stable job shows a lot of maturity for your age, and we would like to commend you for that. It seems like you also have a plan to stay with your friend and that you feel like you would be safe staying there. That’s great to hear. You ask a lot of legal questions about your plans, and while that shows real foresight, we aren’t legal experts and we can therefore only give you general information. This information is typically true across the U.S., but it may not be where you live.

      If you leave home without your mom’s permission, she can report you as a runaway to the police. The police are then supposed to look for you and return you home if they find you. How thoroughly they would search depends on your police department. In most of the U.S., running away is a status offense not punishable by jail time, and unlikely to stay on your adult record. Anyone who harbors you could be held liable for harboring a runaway, which may or may not be punishable by jail time in your area. You may wish to call your non-emergency local police and ask them hypothetically and anonymously what punishments are likely for a runaway and the people who harbor them.

      However, if your mother never reports you as a runaway, or if she gives you permission to stay with your friend, then the police have no reason to suspect that you are a runaway. They would not be informed that you are not living at home, or even if they did know this, they have no reason to suspect your guardian hasn’t given you permission. Again, we are not legal experts, so you may wish to confirm this with non-emergency police. If you can secure permission and are sure that you won’t get in legal trouble for staying with your friend, we can help you plan for safety and help you find resources for runaways. Just call us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

      We wish you the best of luck,
      NRS

  • #22
    Ok so this person is 15 and wants to live with a parent that signed over rights a long time ago can they still do it?
    Another question is what if they got taken away from one parent and started Living with Grandparent could they choose to live with other parent

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us. This sounds like it could be a tricky situation. Hopefully we can provide you with some information to help you out.

      If the person you are referring to if living with their current guardian, they are required to stay with their current parent or legal guardian until they turn 18. The person can go live with a parent that signed over their rights a long time ago if they receive permission from their current guardian. If the person leaves home without permission, they can be reported as a runaway by their guardian. This just means that if they are picked up by the police, they will be taken back home.

      You also ask if the person got taken away from one parent and were put in their grandparent’s care, could this person choose to live with another parent. This also depends on who the legal guardian of the youth is. Only the legal guardian can decide where the youth can live, even if this is with another parent.

      Knowing who has custody of you or another person can be confusing if someone is taken out of their home. You can call your local family or juvenile court to find out the status of your custody, to see who has say over where you live. We are not legal experts here, but can also refer you to free or low cost legal aid that may also be able to answer any specific questions. Just give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to talk to someone about a legal referral.

      Thank you again for contacting us. We wish you the best of luck.

  • #23
    15 and want to move out.
    Hi, I'm a 15-year-old girl, 16 in July, I live in Edmond, Oklahoma and go to high school. I don't want to live with my mom and dad anymore because of them putting a whole lot of pressure on me.they also compare me to my little brother saying he "more responsible" when he doesn't even have as many chores to do as me. sometimes my dad even cusses at me when I do something "wrong" and every time he cusses at me it causes me to break down in tears and makes me feel like I'm worthless. I've tried to kill me because of the pressure and the yelling. I've already asked my best friend that I have know since I was 3 if she and her mom would let me live with them if I move out of my parents home and she said yes. I just don't want to live with my parents if all there is going to be is yelling and screaming. please ASAP

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now at home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out us.
      It is not ok for anyone to cuss at you. We are sorry to hear that you have to go through this. It is not your fault and you don’t have to feel worthless. If you ever have thoughts of hurting yourself again you can call 911 or contact the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or live chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ . You are not alone and your life matters. While we are not legal experts, just speaking generally if you are to leave home without your parents’ permission and a police report is filed the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. Family counseling can be helpful in many situations. You could contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-HELP. Also we do offer a conference call service where we can have a 3 way call with your parents and you and can act as advocates for you.
      All of this can be overwhelming and we are here to help you through this hard time. If it might be an option for you, you could call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we would be happy to listen to you and explore your options and provide an resources. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
      We hope this response was helpful!  We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum.  Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey:  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      Best,
      NRS

  • #24
    If I’m 17 and pregnant can I move out?

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      It seems as if you just reached out to us using a different digital platform and we are already responding to you there. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #25
    Hi, I was wondering what the law in Oklahoma is for 17 year old runaways. My mom and I have never had a good relationship and I believe she is emotionally abusive. She is addicted to pills and lives off of unemployment and food stamps and I have had to pick up her role as a mother to my 13 year old sister because she is either always sleeping or sick. My boyfriend is 18 and I was wondering if he had his own place if I would be able to live there without getting involved with the police. There are many other reasons that I want to move out, one being that my dad is in jail and my mom is wanting to move us in with her boyfriends family which has been my dads best friend for over 40 years. She has repeatedly told me to leave her house on occasion and sometimes sends me to my aunts and will not let me come home. I can get a job and I will be able to continue school because I take online classes. Is there anyway you can find out what the law for 17 year old runaways is in Oklahoma. Thanks!
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 03-29-2018, 08:30 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us today. It sounds like you're in a really tough and stressful situation, and we'll do our best to help.

      First, your mom would need to file a runaway report for anything to happen if you left home. Otherwise, if your mom did not file a report, you would be able to live away from home without the police looking for you.

      To answer your question, you technically are not legally allowed to leave home without your guardian's permission, since you are not yet 18. Assuming your mom is your only legal guardian, you would need to get her permission to leave home. We are not legal experts, but from what we know, running away is not illegal.
      If your mom could filed a runaway report for you and the police found you, you would just be returned home or held until someone came to take you. That being said, some police departments don't take runaway reports for 17 year olds. This varies from department to department, so you would need to call your local police department to find out what their policy is. You can ask hypothetically, e.g. "I heard some police departments don't take runaway reports for 17 year olds and just wanted to check if you guys did."

      You mentioned that your mom might be emotionally abusive. That can take a huge toll on your mental health. Have you ever talked to a counselor about it? They might be able to help you cope with the stress of emotional abuse. You could start by talking to your school counselor. We can also help with looking up free/low-cost counseling resources near you. Just give us a call anytime at 1-800-786-2929 if you'd like to explore this.

      You also mentioned your 13 year old sister. One thing to consider is what she would be provided for if you were to leave. You could try reaching out to relatives or other family friends to see if they might be able to help out by housing you guys with your mom's permission or supporting you guys in other ways.

      If you feel that your mom is unable to take care of you and your sister, you might think about whether you want to file a child abuse report. You mentioned that your mom has a drug addiction and generally does not take care of you guys. If you'd like to talk more about this option, please give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. You can also call Child Help, a national child abuse hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. Their website is childhelp.org.

      Hopefully this helps. Please don't hesitate to give us a call if you'd like to discuss any of these options further or would just like to talk some more. If you have a minute, we would appreciate your honest feedback of our forum services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #26
    Hi,
    I’m 16 I turn 17 in January but I live with my mom and she’s always putting me for blame for things that I don’t do and she’s always making herself the victim when she says hurtful things to me and I tell her to stop she always makes me feel bad when I’m not in the room with her she says things like I don’t want to be around her that I don’t love her and anytime I try to talk to her she ignores me so I stopped trying to talk to her about things then she tries to throw that I don’t take to her enough in my face.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-22-2018, 03:20 AM.

    Comment


    • #27
      Reply: I’m 16 I turn 17 in January

      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
      We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what’s been going on and how it is making you feel.
      You are very brave for doing so. Good for you. Sometimes communication breaks down as it sounds like it has between your mother and yourself.
      When this happens it might be helpful to consider seeking outside help from a counselor or mediator.
      That being said. NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

      Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Take care,
      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-22-2018, 03:35 AM.
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #28
        Hi, I am a 16 year old girl who lives in Texas. I am trying to find a way to leave my house. My mother is a hispanic single mother with barely any job and i'm the only one in the house for the whole day. I barely survive on 1 meal a day because she can’t afford food, but that’s not the problem... The problem is that when we run out of food and she has money, she just yells at me and says to go starve. I've been getting verbally,mentally, and physically abused and I can't take it anymore. I suffer with severe anxiety and depression, and it makes everything much worse. I also have a medical condition called Hinman syndrome which means I can’t tell when I have to go to the bathroom, but my mom won’t let me go to the bathroom at all. She yells at me because I have to go to the bathroom and says it’ll be a waste of time. I’ve managed my syndrome in school and it’s all under control. My mom won’t let me get a job because she thinks I can’t manage one and my condition will get in the way, even though it could help with our financial problems. I have a boyfriend and we‘ve know each other for a really long time. He is deciding to let me live with his family. I just don't want it to be considered a run away. I just want to leave home for a better place. I want to have 3 meals a day and have a job somewhere. I want to graduate high school, go to college, and live a prosperous life where I won’t get yelled at for everything I do.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that you are being abused at home. Abuse is never okay, and you don't deserve to be treated that way. If you feel as though you are in immediate danger, we encourage you to contact 911. You have the right to report the abuse. You could contact CPS and let them know how your mom has been treating you and how your living conditions are at home. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to explore your options and get information on how to transfer custody. It sounds like you are thinking about living with your boyfriend. Since you are a minor, if you leave home without your mom's consent she has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they may return you home. Running away isn't against the law but if you were to stay with your boyfriend, he could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. You could try asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. Another option that you may want to consider is looking into emancipation laws for your state. We hope that this information helps, if you have any questions please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

      • #29
        Can my 18 year olds sons girlfriend move in if she's 17 and pregnant

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there, thanks for reaching out out today.

          Unfortunately, 18 is the general age youth can leave home without the permission of their guardian, but it does depend on state laws and local police protocol. The easiest way she can move in is with permission from her legal guardian. To be more certain of 17 year old runaway protocol in your area, you might reach out to your local police department's non-emergency number and ask hypothetical questions about how they would respond to a 17 year old pregnant youth leaving home.

          We hope this information is helpful. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you have additional questions or need resources. You might also try to give your son's girlfriend our number if she is in need of any support or resources. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

          Best,

          NRS

      • #30
        My son is almost 17 he is wanting to move in with a friend. Am I still legally responsible for him until he is 18?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there, thanks for reaching out with this question.

          We are not legal experts but we can speak generally. Legally, you do have the right to give your son permission to live with his friend or in a safe place. Generally, you are still legally responsible for him until he turns 18. If there is a legal adult in his friend's house, you can give that adult temporary guardianship of him until he is 18 if he needs assistance enrolling in school or gaining things like healthcare.

          Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you have more questions or need support. We are here to listen, here to help.

          Best,

          NRS
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