16 going on 17 in four months

[Unregistered]

Hi I've posted here before but I'm soon to be 17 and i live in California. I am emotionally/mentally and verbally abused by my mother and step dad. I don't feel that this home is healthy and safe to live in because of my abuse, also because when he's angry my step dad is usually physically abusive to my mother. I have left the house because I felt unsafe to be around my step dad, I talked to mom about not living with them anymore and why and why I felt unsafe and she blamed his actions on me and was defending him and not listening to much of what I was saying. Child protective services and the police have investigated before but didn't do much (this happened before I knew he was physically abusive). Recently my neighbors called the police for a noise complaint because my step dad was telling and breaking things in our house, when the police had arrived my step dad had left so i told them everything I could that I thought would get me out, they said to call if something happens again. So with no help from the police I think one of my last options are to run away, a couple of my friends who know what's going on advise my to get away as well, also if I were to run away I do have a place to stay and I would still attend school but I'm scared of the out come,
what do I do?

[ccsmod5]

re: 16 going on 17 in four months

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation. I’m sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to be treated this way. We’re glad you took the step to ask for help! That’s really difficult to do. We will try our best to help you.

So the first thing we can help you with is to give you some general information about running away. We’re not legal experts, so the information is general terms. This information varies by city and state. The best way to verify this information is to call your local police department and talk with them. Generally, running away is not a criminal offense. It’s a status offense. This means you can’t be arrested for running away. However if the police were to pick you up, they would probably be obligated to take you back to your parents/legal guardians. If your parents filed a runaway report when you left, anyone you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway. This is a criminal offense and your parents might be able to press charges.

The most important thing is that you are safe. If you are ever in an unsafe situation, you can always text “safe” with your city, state, and zip code to 69866. This will give you a list of local safe places. There’s also www.nationalsafeplace.org that can provide emergency shelter information. We also have many local and national resources in our database to help people in your situation. We would encourage you to call 1-800-RUNAWAY or visit our website for information on our chat lines www.1800runaway.org so we can help discuss options with you. Our hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. We’re completely confidential.

We’re really glad you reached out to us, it takes a lot to ask for help. You’re trying to figure out your options and that’s really good. If you want to talk more in depth about your situation, we encourage you to use the hotline or chat lines. We’re here to listen and here to help. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do.

Stay strong,

NRS

[Unregistered]

what else can i do

If I leave and go to a shelter what might happen? Who could I involve in my situation to help me stay away? My boyfriend and friend are all very worried about my well being. Since I can't go live with my friend how do you think the shelter will help me to stay away? Thank you for your time

[ccsmod13]

RE: what else can i do

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like home is not where you want to be right now and you are considering going to a shelter to stay away from home. We think that it is awesome that you have reached out and are trying to figure out what is best for you.

Here are NRS we are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms what might happen if you decided to leave home. To start off with running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot leave without your parents’ permission because of your age (being under 18 ). If you were to leave, then your parents would have the right to file a runaway report with the police. Anyone that you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway by the police or by your parents. This includes shelters.

If you were to go to a shelter, then they would most likely contact your parents and let them know where you are and/or ask permission for you to be there. If they do not, and the police find out that they were assisting you as a runaway without letting police or parents know, then they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

You mentioned that you cannot go to your friends, and it also sounds like you are wanting to get out of home. We are not here to tell you what to do, out only concern is that you are safe. Some things to think about for if/when you decide to leave are

Is where I am going safe?
What will I do if things very become unsafe?
How will I support myself? Food? Shelter? Money?
Is there someone I can turn to if I am in trouble?
What do you think it would be like if you were forced back home?

These are just some things to think about. We hoped this helped, and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can always call us on our hotline or you can chat with us everyday during our chat hours. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

NRS

[Unregistered]

a few more questions

So if I leave without parental consent and make it to my safe place, which is either my friends or the shelter, but I contact the police and explain what's going on would they force me to go home? I've read that one someone is seven teen the police will not force them to return home if they are in a safe place, is this true?

[ccsmod9]

RE: A Few More Questions

Hello and thank you for contacting NRS!

Sounds like you are going through a tough situation. We can help answer some of your questions as well as help you with some options that you may have. We are glad to hear that you have a safe place to go to, you deserve to feel safe at all times. One thing to think about is if you run away from home, and your parents decide to make a runaway report it is not illegal it is a status offense; therefore, if they find you it is likely that they will take you home. The law on running away at the age of 17 varies from state to state, some states will locate the youth no matter the age, and other states will not look for the youth as long as they are in a safe place. One way to find out about that is to call your local police department and ask about how that works in your state, or you can call us and we can call the police department for you. If you are in danger, or have been neglected or abused in your home, we can help you make a child abuse report to "Child Protective Services", or you can call and report the issue. Another thing to think about is if you decide to stay with a friend and the police find you, the friend can be criminally charged for harboring a runaway. We encourage you to call us at 1-800-786-2929 so that we can help you work out some more options such as locating shelters in your area, conference calling with parents, legal aid resources, as well as child abuse reporting.

Best,

NRS